What Made You Smile/Laugh Today?

[BiBunny]

Gotcha. So, in other words, you are among the small shadowy geekband that runs the world.

*Rubs hands together and chuckles evilly* You could say that....

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Watching "Survivor: South Pacific" this evening ("Hello, my name is SirW, and I'm a reality show addict!") with closed captions on. (We like closed captions, and we especially like closed caption screw-ups.)

Tonight's caption screw-up: "And the 11th player voted off of 'Survivor: South Park' is ..."

I flat cracked the hell up, and replayed it twice via DVR. *She* said, "Hell, *I'd* play THAT version of 'Survivor!'"

 

[kiwi_submissive]

Monkey Tattoos

 

[jakoob]

Hi

My little cat that wake me up as usual....

 

[graceanne]

The Leg Cutting Off Knife. Hehehe.

Do you have it in a small glass cupboard, with "In case of scraped knee, break glass" printed on it?

No, I'm not that creative. lol I should get one of those, it'd be hilarious. Quite honestly, as soon as I threaten them with the leg/arm/hand/foot cutting off knife, they roll their eyes at me and stop being melodramatic.

 

[Kurokami]

No, I'm not that creative. lol I should get one of those, it'd be hilarious. Quite honestly, as soon as I threaten them with the leg/arm/hand/foot cutting off knife, they roll their eyes at me and stop being melodramatic.

Maybe you should just buy a chainsaw and leave it leaning (unfuelled, obviously. You're not irresponsible ) very pointedly against a wall in plain view of your kids?

 

[graceanne]

Maybe you should just buy a chainsaw and leave it leaning (unfuelled, obviously. You're not irresponsible ) very pointedly against a wall in plain view of your kids?

Eh. My eight year old would figure out how to put gas in it and injure himself or his sisters. He LOVES power tools. lol

And, quite honestly, because I've never been one to reward melodramatic behavior, they don't do it often and when they do it doesn't last very long.

My niece, on the other hand, used to drive me batty. The baby would trip and fall, and then do the 'look' to see if she was hurt. I'd look back blandly, and then my niece would scream OH MY GOD! and of course that was it. Then the baby would KNOW they were hurt, and horribly too, and nothing would do but that they cry and get snuggles .... and dirty looks sent at my niece.

 

[reachedme]

I was at a party where two people thought this was funny
they started yelling outside, chain saw starts, one comes running into the house chased by the other with the chain saw going, people screaming running everywhere the guy pushed the chainsaw into the other and reved it like crazy then fell on the floor in hysterics
no chain on the saw
funny no one else was laughing

 

[intothewoods]

I could see that. Another possibility is gluten, because gluten intolerance and ADHD have similar symptoms.



I did a paper on this recently. One of the interesting things I found is that corn syrup doesn't give you a 'full' feeling, no matter how much you eat, which is one of the reasons it's in so much food. You eat and eat and never feel full. That, along with the fact that a large majority of parents won't let their kids play outside because they might be kidnapped, is what I blame on the rise of childhood obesity.



I'd say something along the lines of 'well. maybe for a minute or two.' or 'you're gonna die, sweetie. We'll cut this owie off, and then it wont' hurt you anymore. SWEETIE! GET THE LEG CUTTING OFF KNIFE!'

But I already know I'm horrible. My sister tells me so regularly and thinks our mom should have drowned me at birth.

It rocks to be me, sometimes.

Same with sugar right? I think corn syrup is just a lot cheaper.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

No, I'm not that creative. lol I should get one of those, it'd be hilarious. Quite honestly, as soon as I threaten them with the leg/arm/hand/foot cutting off knife, they roll their eyes at me and stop being melodramatic.

You're a cruel mom, but fair.



How about drawing a dotted line in red marker around the injured wrist?

 

[RunningJib]

Ms. Burn_It

The image that carried the day

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

Heaven must need shampoo.

 

[kimuk]

wearing my collar in public for the first time ......

 

[Loverskitten]

This made me laugh

 

[FungiUg]

This made me laugh

That is awesome!

 

[TarevaChine]

An e-mail with the following:

Wife says to husband, “If you start riding that new bicycle I bought for you to work, we can get rid of the second car.”
He replies, “If you take it up the ass and let me cum on your face, we can get rid of the nanny!”

The missus asked me, “When you’re on a boys only trip away, do you think about me?” Apparently, “Only to stop myself from coming too quickly” wasn’t the right answer.

Was banging this nice Lady over her kitchen table when we heard the front door open. She said, “It’s my husband! Quick, try the back door!”
Thinking back, I really should have ran – but you don’t get offers like that every day.

 

[kiwi_submissive]

A text I received from a friend. I thought I had met the perfect female until I went through her clothing drawers. I found a policewomans uniform, a french maids uniform and a nurses uniform. Unfortunatly I had to get rid of her because she obviously can't hold down a job.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

You're a cruel mom, but fair.



How about drawing a dotted line in red marker around the injured wrist?

This makes made me pause and take a moment to appreciate the more unconventional parenting that somehow works.

 

[graceanne]

This makes made me pause and take a moment to appreciate the more unconventional parenting that somehow works.

A little humor doesn't hurt when it comes to parenting. In fact it's a must. Otherwise your head will explode, and that makes a big nasty mess.

 

[redslady]

A little humor doesn't hurt when it comes to parenting. In fact it's a must. Otherwise your head will explode, and that makes a big nasty mess.

Which, being the mom, we end up cleaning up ourselves anyway. Humor always was my best weapon, lol.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

This made me laugh

I've seen a number of "Baby Changing Station" signs with the "C" whited out or cut out.

I have to admit I like this better, and if I can figure out how to re-create it, those signs may be showing up in cities I visit.

 

[TarevaChine]

That my family is safe and the fire was contained to the kitchen.

I always try to find humor in everything, even when things are really bad. Well the humor in this story is my 5-year-old niece, who was very scared and upset over the fire. When they went back into the house, she walks into the kitchen and says, "aww, my cake got burned up". Out of the mouth of babes!

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

That's vaginal

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

That my family is safe and the fire was contained to the kitchen.

I always try to find humor in everything, even when things are really bad. Well the humor in this story is my 5-year-old niece, who was very scared and upset over the fire. When they went back into the house, she walks into the kitchen and says, "aww, my cake got burned up". Out of the mouth of babes!

Glad everyone is safe!

 

[TarevaChine]

Glad everyone is safe!

Thank you.