joy_of_cooking
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2019
- Posts
- 920
A 7 Train Stiletto Show (750 Words): Her high-heeled boots tease him all the way home.
This was my attempt at improving Don's Novice by defiant_1 so let's talk about that story first. It's only 3k, if you want to read it.
Don's Novice was one of the first stories I read on this site, lo these many years ago, and one I revisit frequently. It's with some bemusement that I realize I now have stories rated higher than his---in my mind, his are the originals, the standards to which I aspire. You can see echoes of his influence in other works of mine. Her First Foot Boy, for example, is my take on the same "man meets vanilla girl, she's a natural" premise in Don's Novice.
As much as I love Don's Novice as a whole, the opening has always bothered me. The narrator starts ogling a girl on the train, and she plays along, putting on "a show for me through eight stations." She later tells him that she had been on her way to a job interview, and that his attention on the train "had made her feel good...gave her confidence."
This didn't ring true for me. A more realistic reaction, based on the women I know, might be to irritation at the unsolicited attention, or fear of being assaulted, or concern that they've dressed more sexily than they intended for a high-stakes professional interaction.
But something about the idea of a wordless show across the aisle of a train car stuck in my mind. I wanted to make that work, in a way that felt natural and realistic and non-creepy to me. So I started thinking, why might a woman put on a show for a total stranger on public transit? What if it weren't for a stranger? What if it were for her husband, whose fantasies she knew well and had decided to indulge? That was her motivations sorted, then.
As for him, I just threw together a bunch of things I suspected would resonate with my fellow fetishists:
- the excitement of encountering a super-sexy pair of shoes in a mundane and non-erotic context
- the tease of a long skirt or other obstruction of the view one so desperately craves
- the struggle to remain respectful and discreet when, well, see above about the craving
- the frustration of commitment to a woman who is perfect in every way but that one
And then I gave it a happy ending. Two happy endings, in a way. First, the discovery that this "stranger" is quite on board with one's little perversions, and, second, the promise of future play with a long-term partner.
This was my attempt at improving Don's Novice by defiant_1 so let's talk about that story first. It's only 3k, if you want to read it.
Don's Novice was one of the first stories I read on this site, lo these many years ago, and one I revisit frequently. It's with some bemusement that I realize I now have stories rated higher than his---in my mind, his are the originals, the standards to which I aspire. You can see echoes of his influence in other works of mine. Her First Foot Boy, for example, is my take on the same "man meets vanilla girl, she's a natural" premise in Don's Novice.
As much as I love Don's Novice as a whole, the opening has always bothered me. The narrator starts ogling a girl on the train, and she plays along, putting on "a show for me through eight stations." She later tells him that she had been on her way to a job interview, and that his attention on the train "had made her feel good...gave her confidence."
This didn't ring true for me. A more realistic reaction, based on the women I know, might be to irritation at the unsolicited attention, or fear of being assaulted, or concern that they've dressed more sexily than they intended for a high-stakes professional interaction.
But something about the idea of a wordless show across the aisle of a train car stuck in my mind. I wanted to make that work, in a way that felt natural and realistic and non-creepy to me. So I started thinking, why might a woman put on a show for a total stranger on public transit? What if it weren't for a stranger? What if it were for her husband, whose fantasies she knew well and had decided to indulge? That was her motivations sorted, then.
As for him, I just threw together a bunch of things I suspected would resonate with my fellow fetishists:
- the excitement of encountering a super-sexy pair of shoes in a mundane and non-erotic context
- the tease of a long skirt or other obstruction of the view one so desperately craves
- the struggle to remain respectful and discreet when, well, see above about the craving
- the frustration of commitment to a woman who is perfect in every way but that one
And then I gave it a happy ending. Two happy endings, in a way. First, the discovery that this "stranger" is quite on board with one's little perversions, and, second, the promise of future play with a long-term partner.
