Transport crashes, spills sex toys

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In a Hard Spot: Okie transport crashes, spills sex toys​

Police encouraged drivers to get themselves off the road until cleanup was complete

Author of the article: Matthew Guy

Publishing date: Sep 16, 2022


OK I40 Crash
Photo by Twitter/@TheLostOgle


We’ve written about plenty of strange collisions and road mishaps on these digital pages, ranging from bizarre crashes to loads of spilled swine. But a report from Oklahoma suggest we may have a new item to stick up in first place.

According to a brace of local news channels and a third independent source, a tractor trailer carrying a large load of, ahem, sex toys lost control of itself and spilled its load all over a highway. It isn’t immediately clear as to why the semi popped its top near a freeway exit, though a smaller truck with a damaged box also seems to have been involved in the fray.

Compounding the problem, it seems a quantity of non-automotive lubricants were also spilled in the crash. We’re not sure what type of product could be used to clean up mass quantities of that product in order to keep other vehicles from hitting it and swinging around as if they were on the world’s largest Slip ’n Slide. Think the old standby of Speedy Dry would do the trick? How about sawdust or kitty litter? Hey, at least it’s all likely water-based — perhaps a good rain will take care of it.

Also, can we please take a moment and acknowledge the restraint shown by that on-the-spot reporter in the video clip shown above? When asked by his colleagues in the studio what was scattered all over the better part of three lanes on I-40, he stayed silent before uttering a few noncommittal phrases. I would not have been successful at holding my tongue.

When this author was a teenager, he witnessed a Molson Brewing truck try to negotiate a sharp left-hand turn whilst a few of its rollup doors were open. The results were as predictable as they were tasty and — until now — the most entertaining traffic mishap in his foggy memory. This one usurps its way to the top to come in first place.

Reports say the driver of this truck was uninjured; we hope he’s not being too hard on himself about the situation.
 
For your amusement, another Lit-worthy news item:

"As soon as he won, Niemann — who was one of the lowest-rated players in the tournament — was accused of cheating and faced the unlikely claim that he was using an electronic chess move generator hidden somewhere on his person that was wirelessly linked to an anal massage device secreted just where such a device is designed to be placed. Accusers claimed that the anal device would buzz in some sequence to tell Niemann what moves to make, though the player’s detractors did not exactly reveal just how that could work."

https://www.breitbart.com/sports/20...g-accusation-involving-vibrating-anal-device/
 
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