Request for specific suggestions re length and structure of sentences.
- Thread starter AG31
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Jackie.Hikaru
Bajo la luna gitana
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- Dec 24, 2019
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I'll be damned if I ever find myself needing to suck eggs.
StillStunned
Writing...
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I'll admit to having blown a few.*
* True story. Nothing kinky about it at all, dear dirty-minded reader. Way back before the Internet, when we had nothing else to do, one form of entertainment was painting eggshells. But the egg has to be empty to stop it from stinking.
AG31
Literotica Guru
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Thanks to all!! This thread accomplished what I asked for. It primed the pump!
With much enjoyment I read the story a page or so at a time, taking notes about where I might elaborate or re-structure the language.Then I'd muse on that as I was falling asleep and make revisions the next morning. It took me 3 days and I have now submitted a revision to Lit. It's much improved. I think I had gotten lazy when it came to the actual sex scenes. Not only did that result in repetitive structure, but often I was only jotting down place holders for stuff that was vivid in my mind.
I started at the beginning, far away from the paras I submitted in this post, so as to forget the specifics of what you all had suggested. I didn't want to be Literotica's version of Claudine Gay!!
Thanks again to all!!!!
AND... I hope you'll feel moved to help me in a similar way with a different issue in a different story. See a request for help regarding an ear for the spoken word.
@SyleusSnow, @Karina_Jade, @AlinaX, @joy_of_cooking, @StillStunned, @Jackie.Hikaru, @Electric Blue, @yowser, @VerbalAbuse, @alohadave, @AlexBailey
I'm repeating these names because they don't translate to USER= code in an edit: @ElectricBlue @karina_jayde
With much enjoyment I read the story a page or so at a time, taking notes about where I might elaborate or re-structure the language.Then I'd muse on that as I was falling asleep and make revisions the next morning. It took me 3 days and I have now submitted a revision to Lit. It's much improved. I think I had gotten lazy when it came to the actual sex scenes. Not only did that result in repetitive structure, but often I was only jotting down place holders for stuff that was vivid in my mind.
I started at the beginning, far away from the paras I submitted in this post, so as to forget the specifics of what you all had suggested. I didn't want to be Literotica's version of Claudine Gay!!
Thanks again to all!!!!
AND... I hope you'll feel moved to help me in a similar way with a different issue in a different story. See a request for help regarding an ear for the spoken word.
@SyleusSnow, @Karina_Jade, @AlinaX, @joy_of_cooking, @StillStunned, @Jackie.Hikaru, @Electric Blue, @yowser, @VerbalAbuse, @alohadave, @AlexBailey
I'm repeating these names because they don't translate to USER= code in an edit: @ElectricBlue @karina_jayde
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