Naughty Fortune Cookies 🥠

[Vitriolhack]

I have always wondered what kind of message would be found in fortune cookies, if they were naughty ones!

I’ll start:

“Friends can be great lovers”

“Don’t look any further, satisfaction is in front of you”

“Go home and jerk off, she’s not into you”

“Like you have a chance!”

“She is wet for you”

….you all get the idea!

Just for fun you all!

 

[TallMan69]

Unlock your wild side…. visit an adult bookstore today.
Embrace change….. get a new sex toy.
If swinging is too big of a risk try role playing with your lover.
Variety is the spice of life … try a new sex position tonight.
Leave inhibitions behind and have sex outside.

 

[Vitriolhack]

“Buy some condoms tonight!”

 

[TallMan69]

A romantic escapade is in your near future - carry a condom.
Discover the sensual connection of a couples massage.
Your magnetism and charm will lead to a passionate encounter.
Unlock new realms of pleasure … buy a pair of sex dice.

 

[Vitriolhack]

“Who are kidding, she’s out of your league.”

“Try the naked man approach!”

 

[northcan8]

Add the suffix “In Bed” to every fortune cookie you open. Read the ones already posted above and then add the phrase. Some of the most innocuous fortune cookies out there are a scream if you insert my little suffix.

 

[oldguymem]

Please disregard previous fortune

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

A large number of people will soon see you naked.

 

[Vitriolhack]

“Hard times ahead”

 

[FGB]

When running through underbrush naked do not be Won Hung Lo.

 

[Bambear99]

Frying bacon naked could hurt your sausage.

 

[Chernosoth]

She's crazy, but so are you if you eat the food here.

 

[InCNCestBangPie]

"If you build it, they will cum on it."

 

[ABiGuy84]

"Enjoy yourself while you can."

 

[Vitriolhack]

wink at a random stranger

 

[slavemelanie]

a rub and tug is in your future

 

[ABiGuy84]

Sometimes life is messy, try a Wonton.

 

[fullservice65]

"Save room for your partner's desserts!"