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is it wrong after 19 years married

oconnor1111 said:
Hi would love to know your thoughts, we have been married 19 years and have 2 amazing kids and are very happy but, over the last year I have been talking in bed with the wife about having a threesome with another guy it start just when we had sex some time but now is ever time we have sex and even times when we are just chatting, we have talked about one of my friends fucking her but not sure if it is best a friend or a stranger ???, is it that bad i want this to happen so much, she is still not sure how can I convince her ????.
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We're very much alike with my wife and I celebratibg our 20th wedding anniversary this September and we also have two preteen age children ........ aaaand yes we're both happy BUT I've been trying to persuade her to explore or spice our intimacy.

My wife isn't so sure either since she's conservative. Very conservative so we're definitely in this conundrum. It'll be sexy to experiment and experience a 3some but it's been difficult to get ourselves to cross that line from fantasy to real life
 
oconnor1111 said:
Hi would love to know your thoughts, we have been married 19 years and have 2 amazing kids and are very happy but, over the last year I have been talking in bed with the wife about having a threesome with another guy it start just when we had sex some time but now is ever time we have sex and even times when we are just chatting, we have talked about one of my friends fucking her but not sure if it is best a friend or a stranger ???, is it that bad i want this to happen so much, she is still not sure how can I convince her ????.
Click to expand...
Your at a point in life where sex is only recreational. You're done having kids. As we discovered thru fantasy reality can follow. Share some threesome pics watch some porn together. If shes interested which a lot of lady's are but can't admit to it...yet, she'll start returning the fantasy ideas. We only share with friends. You'll be amazed how many people are willing.
 
Completely agree with the swinger club idea. YOU just need to be prepared that she loves it and you don't. That she gets popular and you don't.

It's not wrong if you refine or renegoitate the terms of your marriage. If you don't, then yes, it is. It is wrong if you make her feel bad for not wanting to. It's liable to backfire on you.
 
I was part of a gaming group and had never been shy about my first wife and i playing with others. One night i got a call from the wife of a couple in the gaming group and she, after a couple of minutes talking, asked if i would be interested in a threesome with her and her husband. We set up a time to meet at their house to discuss what they were thinking. I think this was very important to do, get their expectations and limits as well as what mine were. So we all agreed and they scheduled a night where their kids were out to get together. It went very well and lasted a while.
 
I know that many people have already answered you on the subject and even given you ideas... I haven't read other comments, but I'll give mine:

Before inviting someone, be it a stranger or a known friend, your wife needs to be okay with the choice. She is the one who will be 'the main dish', so it's only fair that she choose the person who, together with you, will participate in this sex.
And it's no use for her to choose a handsome, muscular man if, when it's time to talk to the two of you together (never with her alone, and I'll explain the reason for that), he shows himself eager to have sex, or talks nonsense about how he wants it to happen. the sex... Remember that you are the ones who want it, so the rules to follow are yours and not someone else's. If the person you choose doesn't accept it the way you want, that person is not worthy to participate in the threesome.

About not talking to your wife alone, it's because you will participate in sex together, not just your wife with another, so if that person wants to talk to your wife alone or with you, that person is not even close to being able to participate in a Menage-à-Trois.

And before you start choosing the person, talk to both of you about it... Keep in mind that this cannot affect your relationship in the future, never in a future discussion, putting this as an agenda.

(Remembering, I didn't read the comments and I don't know if they already started a threesome or are still planning)

This is my humble guess.
 
ElizabethLolita said:
I know that many people have already answered you on the subject and even given you ideas... I haven't read other comments, but I'll give mine:

Before inviting someone, be it a stranger or a known friend, your wife needs to be okay with the choice. She is the one who will be 'the main dish', so it's only fair that she choose the person who, together with you, will participate in this sex.
And it's no use for her to choose a handsome, muscular man if, when it's time to talk to the two of you together (never with her alone, and I'll explain the reason for that), he shows himself eager to have sex, or talks nonsense about how he wants it to happen. the sex... Remember that you are the ones who want it, so the rules to follow are yours and not someone else's. If the person you choose doesn't accept it the way you want, that person is not worthy to participate in the threesome.

About not talking to your wife alone, it's because you will participate in sex together, not just your wife with another, so if that person wants to talk to your wife alone or with you, that person is not even close to being able to participate in a Menage-à-Trois.

And before you start choosing the person, talk to both of you about it... Keep in mind that this cannot affect your relationship in the future, never in a future discussion, putting this as an agenda.

(Remembering, I didn't read the comments and I don't know if they already started a threesome or are still planning)

This is my humble guess.
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thank you for spending time on giving us your thoughts.

it is the wife who likes our friend and she feels more safe with someone we know other than a stranger.

I guess on the other side being a friend it might feel different after he has fucked my wife, we have talked about it just being sex, so i hope it will not change anything, but guess you will never know till he has cum in the wife.

we all three think the idea is so hot, guess just needs to happen
 
ImiGirrst said:
YOU just need to be prepared that .... she gets popular and you don't.
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This is largely inevitable: That a woman will be offered waaaaaaaay more cock than any man is offered female body parts. I'm not sure OP is looking to swing, but rather to share, in which case seeing a line of men waiting on his wife's availability while not being pleasured himself seems his ideal.
 
UtilityCurve said:
This is largely inevitable: That a woman will be offered waaaaaaaay more cock than any man is offered female body parts. I'm not sure OP is looking to swing, but rather to share, in which case seeing a line of men waiting on his wife's availability while not being pleasured himself seems his ideal.
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dam love the idea of my wife having a line of guys all waiting to fuck her, guess after the first few have cum in her a few more would not make and differance, not sure how many she would take ?
 
This is just my humble opinion, and by that I'm emphasizing my humble opinion. you've been married for 19 years and your having sex regularly, you're doing good with what you have. Bringing a 3rd party into the mix (my opinion) you'll be messing with a time bomb of sorts. You're risking your sound marriage, your 4o1k, the house and the very real danger of disrupting your children's lives. Ask yourself this, is the juice worth the squeeze? That activity has a better chance of going sideways than not..........
There are far and away less risky ways to spice up your sex life.... remember this is just my opinion. Either way best of luck...
 
I believe that marriage is beautiful at any age, if the right person is next to you, but you need to be conscious of it
 
oconnor1111 said:
Hi would love to know your thoughts, we have been married 19 years and have 2 amazing kids and are very happy but, over the last year I have been talking in bed with the wife about having a threesome with another guy it start just when we had sex some time but now is ever time we have sex and even times when we are just chatting, we have talked about one of my friends fucking her but not sure if it is best a friend or a stranger ???, is it that bad i want this to happen so much, she is still not sure how can I convince her ????.
Click to expand...
You have planted the seed.....let it mature...when it becomes her idea things will go smoother.
 
oconnor1111 said:
Hi would love to know your thoughts, we have been married 19 years and have 2 amazing kids and are very happy but, over the last year I have been talking in bed with the wife about having a threesome with another guy it start just when we had sex some time but now is ever time we have sex and even times when we are just chatting, we have talked about one of my friends fucking her but not sure if it is best a friend or a stranger ???, is it that bad i want this to happen so much, she is still not sure how can I convince her ????.
Click to expand...
Don't try to convince her- certainly don't pressure. Tell her you'd like to try it and that if she doesn't like it, you won't repeat it. Her choice.
 
Rule of thumb for relationships:
If you have to ask "Is it wrong____ fill in the blank" then it is wrong.
 
oconnor1111 said:
Hi would love to know your thoughts, we have been married 19 years and have 2 amazing kids and are very happy but, over the last year I have been talking in bed with the wife about having a threesome with another guy it start just when we had sex some time but now is ever time we have sex and even times when we are just chatting, we have talked about one of my friends fucking her but not sure if it is best a friend or a stranger ???, is it that bad i want this to happen so much, she is still not sure how can I convince her ????.
Click to expand...
This came up with my wife and she said she would feel more comfortable with someone we know and I would definitely want a stranger!
 
Once when I was much younger and not married I was involved in a threesome. None of us were married. Just good friends. It completely changed the dynamics of our relationship. sex can be very emotional. Now after 40 years of marriage we only fantasize about things knowing that they are just fantasies. No, i did not marry anyone involved in the threesome. I would be very careful about bringing in another person If I were you.
 
Have not been on for a while but have to say, 100% if you both want it the 3 some with the wife is amazing and it worked so well being a friend, don't think about it, do it.
 
I know I already commented on this and not sure if my point was clear so let me say a few things.

1. Either your partner is into it or not. Trying to convince someone to do something they aren’t into can or will go bad. We don’t all share the same fetishes. What is more important? Your fetish being fulfilled or the stability of your relationship?

2. If the threesome happens I warn you involving a friend. I done it and couldn’t stay with her because in time the person being my BFF I shared her with bothered me. If it was some stranger or someone I am not friends with I doubt it would bother me.
 
oconnor1111 said:
Have not been on for a while but have to say, 100% if you both want it the 3 some with the wife is amazing and it worked so well being a friend, don't think about it, do it.
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I was wondering how it worked out that Saturday when he came by and it's great to hear that it went well. I'm hoping to be able to one day say the same thing about a threesome or heck a foursome with the Mrs and my football buddies 😜
 
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