is it wrong after 19 years married

[oconnor1111]

Hi would love to know your thoughts, we have been married 19 years and have 2 amazing kids and are very happy but, over the last year I have been talking in bed with the wife about having a threesome with another guy it start just when we had sex some time but now is ever time we have sex and even times when we are just chatting, we have talked about one of my friends fucking her but not sure if it is best a friend or a stranger ???, is it that bad i want this to happen so much, she is still not sure how can I convince her ????.

 

[AWalkinTheWoods]

Nothing is bad if it doesn't break the law and you are both consenting to it. I think you have already taken the correct approach by having open dialogue about it. I would say that if you continue to have open discussion about it and she is into it, it will eventually happen without you having to convince her. I would definitely let her choose the guy though. That way it won't feel like you are forcing someone on her.

 

[oconnor1111]

she knows I want it to happen, we do talk about one of my friends I know she likes him and i think she would feel more safe with someone we know very well, I guess how do i ask my friend if he wants to fuck my wife lol

 

[oconnor1111]

Nothing is bad if it doesn't break the law and you are both consenting to it. I think you have already taken the correct approach by having open dialogue about it. I would say that if you continue to have open discussion about it and she is into it, it will eventually happen without you having to convince her. I would definitely let her choose the guy though. That way it won't feel like you are forcing someone on her.

she knows I want it to happen, we do talk about one of my friends I know she likes him and i think she would feel more safe with someone we know very well, I guess how do i ask my friend if he wants to fuck my wife lol

 

[AWalkinTheWoods]

she knows I want it to happen, we do talk about one of my friends I know she likes him and i think she would feel more safe with someone we know very well, I guess how do i ask my friend if he wants to fuck my wife lol

I think you would both need to sit down with him together and ask if it is something he would be interested in.

 

[Lifestyle66]

I would highly recommend you forget the idea of choosing a friend or anyone either of you know.
After the sex, they will never forget it, and neither will both of you. If either of you reacts poorly to the situation, your former friend will always be there to remind you.

Try searching for a swinger web site and set up a profile on there. Then find some anonymous via that route, and both of you meet him at a restaurant or bar first to vet the idea. You can decline to go further until you both agree on the other guy. Then if things go poorly with either of you, he's gone and out of your lives. And never invite that stranger to your house, or he might be back!

 

[AWalkinTheWoods]

I would highly recommend you forget the idea of choosing a friend or anyone either of you know.
After the sex, they will never forget it, and neither will both of you. If either of you reacts poorly to the situation, your former friend will always be there to remind you.

Try searching for a swinger web site and set up a profile on there. Then find some anonymous via that route, and both of you meet him at a restaurant or bar first to vet the idea. You can decline to go further until you both agree on the other guy. Then if things go poorly with either of you, he's gone and out of your lives. And never invite that stranger to your house, or he might be back!

I totally agree with this. It could end very messy with friends.

 

[Stewart_Pidd]

If you have to "convince" her, then it's not worth it bro.

Stew

 

[butters]

fantasies are called that for a reason. they are safe and don't risk hurting a third person... people aren't a sex toy, they are humans with emotions. I get the 'friend for safety' issue, but it seems like a potentially realllllllllllly bad idea.

if you are thinking of taking it into the real world, think long and carefully, addressing the issues such as 'what if your wife falls in love with the guy' or vise-versa? 'what if you get jealous once it's happened or it turns out badly and your wife blames you for pushing her into it (even if you didn't)'? And what if she enjoys the sex so much more with the other person that she decides sex with you just isn't cutting it for any more at all?

 

[Lifestyle66]

fantasies are called that for a reason. they are safe and don't risk hurting a third person... people aren't a sex toy, they are humans with emotions. I get the 'friend for safety' issue, but it seems like a potentially realllllllllllly bad idea.

if you are thinking of taking it into the real world, think long and carefully, addressing the issues such as 'what if your wife falls in love with the guy' or vise-versa? 'what if you get jealous once it's happened or it turns out badly and your wife blames you for pushing her into it (even if you didn't)'? And what if she enjoys the sex so much more with the other person that she decides sex with you just isn't cutting it for any more at all?

If they've talked about this as a fantasy, acting out a fantasy under the right conditions isn't necessarily a bad thing. But they do need to go into it knowing those risks of jealousy or desires which might spring up.

If the wife enjoys it more than he expects or more than he wants her to, that's on her. If she decides sex with her husband isn't cutting it, that's also on her. Those things about what the wife might want in the future seem like denying such an experience is like trying to hide it from her out of his own insecurity.

Marriage shouldn't be about denying your spouse something because you're afraid they might not want YOU anymore.

If he wants it AND if she wants it, then I'd suggest they try it, but under the right circumstances.

 

[Plasmaball]

Have you thought about taking her golfing?

 

[Pookie]

Have you thought about taking her golfing?

18 holes to choose from.

 

[Pookie]

Seriously, it will change friendships forever. Some threesomes work out fine, others are disasters. Almost all will have ongoing issues to deal with. No matter what, things change. Choose wisely.

 

[Plasmaball]

18 holes to choose from.

Long strokes

 

[live4thebj]

How can she convince you to take a cock up the ass?

 

[lc69hunter]

Hi would love to know your thoughts, we have been married 19 years and have 2 amazing kids and are very happy but, over the last year I have been talking in bed with the wife about having a threesome with another guy it start just when we had sex some time but now is ever time we have sex and even times when we are just chatting, we have talked about one of my friends fucking her but not sure if it is best a friend or a stranger ???, is it that bad i want this to happen so much, she is still not sure how can I convince her ????.

Once you have her on board with the idea, it is not your choice, it is hers. You have given her agency. Respect her choice, within the bounds of whatever rules or guidelines the two of you have put in place. You have given her the gift of freedom. Respect it

 

[Noor]

Hi would love to know your thoughts, we have been married 19 years and have 2 amazing kids and are very happy but, over the last year I have been talking in bed with the wife about having a threesome with another guy it start just when we had sex some time but now is ever time we have sex and even times when we are just chatting, we have talked about one of my friends fucking her but not sure if it is best a friend or a stranger ???, is it that bad i want this to happen so much, she is still not sure how can I convince her ????.

I was all it’s not wrong until you’re last line. I would let her convince herself.
When you add a third person in, anything can happen.

 

[easyoff]

How can she convince you to take a cock up the ass?

Probably just ask.

 

[gtnlynn]

I usually think it is okay for two consenting adults to do whatever they want as long as it doesn't harm a third party or involve nonconsenting people who might see you in action. A threesome has the potential to go badly wrong, so I think it is important that all three parties strongly consent. When I suggested a similar scenario to my wife, her response was a lukewarm "okay." I took that as a "no." Be careful.

 

[Bob_Bytchin]

18 holes to choose from.

You're going back to your old username? PuttPuttSlut,

 

[Bob_Bytchin]

Seriously, it will change friendships forever. Some threesomes work out fine, others are disasters. Almost all will have ongoing issues to deal with. No matter what, things change. Choose wisely.

They should just go for the gusto and have his entire bowling team over.

 

[Noor]

Seriously, it will change friendships forever. Some threesomes work out fine, others are disasters. Almost all will have ongoing issues to deal with. No matter what, things change. Choose wisely.

I totally agree with this! Sometimes it makes things better, but usually it just changes everything and/or makes things worse.

 

[Pookie]

You're going back to your old username? PuttPuttSlut,

 

[Pookie]

They should just go for the gusto and have his entire bowling team over.

She might like playing with ten pins.

 

[Bob_Bytchin]

She might like playing with ten pins.

Lots of gutter balls