My hyper sexuality thread

[nevergetenough]

Been doing a lot of introspective thinking lately and coming to terms with my hyper sexuality and looking for a safe space to discuss and I thought of Lit.

Quick overview 40 year old male happily married with a non HS partner. Been trying to work through it but each conversation makes me feel less seen, less connected and frankly kind of shitty as I talk about the most minimal desires I have sexually.

I’ve been doing a lot is work to minimize my triggers but nonetheless after a few days the urges thoughts and feelings come back.

Thinking that perhaps posting here, even if it’s just in diary form with help me with through this stuff.

Anyone dealing with this? Advice? Thoughts?

 

[saintcero]

Been doing a lot of introspective thinking lately and coming to terms with my hyper sexuality and looking for a safe space to discuss and I thought of Lit.

Quick overview 40 year old male happily married with a non HS partner. Been trying to work through it but each conversation makes me feel less seen, less connected and frankly kind of shitty as I talk about the most minimal desires I have sexually.

I’ve been doing a lot is work to minimize my triggers but nonetheless after a few days the urges thoughts and feelings come back.

Thinking that perhaps posting here, even if it’s just in diary form with help me with through this stuff.

Anyone dealing with this? Advice? Thoughts?

Dealing with increased desire these days. Masturbation used to provide some relief but that is no longer true. Sex is on my mind all waking hours.

 

[nevergetenough]

Masturbation on vacation is a way to cope but man is it frustrating when I get off twice in the shower in 12 hours to clear my head and my partner literally hasn’t even mentioned or thought about having time together.

Then the constant — well I had to get off so I could be a good husband and dad for the day but if she wants to have time later (while unlikely) it’s less of a need for me.

 

[DirtyDieselTech]

Hey there so I have ADHD and Bi-Polar Depression type 2. Hyper sexuality is a very prevalent side effect of what I have. Not only am I constantly horny but the ADHD causes me to "hyper focus" on sexual stuff. So I have a bit of an understanding of what you're going through.

 

[nevergetenough]

Hey there so I have ADHD and Bi-Polar Depression type 2. Hyper sexuality is a very prevalent side effect of what I have. Not only am I constantly horny but the ADHD causes me to "hyper focus" on sexual stuff. So I have a bit of an understanding of what you're going through.

Never been diagnosed with ADHD officially but feel like it’s something I need to consider/get help for.

I have worked on meditation and other avenues of self regulation to some extent with limited success.

Appreciate you sharing

 

[lil_jenni]

This week has been my week to admit that my hypersexuality is a problem, not just a description. To say my sex drive is higher than my husband's needs the context that he has a healthy sex drive, and by any objective standard we have a good sex life. But he needs breaks and is unable to engage in sexual activities as often as I would like.

This week, because of some ongoing mental health issues, my therapist has advised I abstain from any sexual activity, including masturbation, for two weeks. It has been less than five full days and I'm going crazy. Right now, my thoughts of sex, which can be intrusive thoughts sometimes anyway, are almost constant...

 

[CuriousRick]

Good luck making it the whole two weeks!

 

[DirtyDieselTech]

I know what you are going through, for the most part. So just know you are not alone in your struggles.

You can do it! Just keep your head up high and push through it.

 

[nevergetenough]

This week has been my week to admit that my hypersexuality is a problem, not just a description. To say my sex drive is higher than my husband's needs the context that he has a healthy sex drive, and by any objective standard we have a good sex life. But he needs breaks and is unable to engage in sexual activities as often as I would like.

This week, because of some ongoing mental health issues, my therapist has advised I abstain from any sexual activity, including masturbation, for two weeks. It has been less than five full days and I'm going crazy. Right now, my thoughts of sex, which can be intrusive thoughts sometimes anyway, are almost constant...

Very curious the expected outcome of this and any guidance provided to get you through those tough intrusive thought moments.

Also curious what pushed you to realize it was a problem if you are comfortable sharing.

I took a month a while back abstaining from the worst activities I was engaged in. I was staying up hours trying to find a playmate every night and it was effecting other parts of my life.

After the month I felt a reset but I realized that activities I was doing I still wanted to do but I needed more balance.

Either way best of luck getting through whatever you are going through

 

[nevergetenough]

Had an argument the other night with my partner due to “bad communication” about having time together. Specifically didn’t use the word sex because it apparently has a trigger around sex is just getting off instead of spending time together.

Anyways apparently I “didn’t communicate” that it was on my mind despite her knowing my hyper sexual tendencies.

I get frustrated that due to my hypersexual tendencies if I brought it up everytime I think about it I would overwhelm her and when I wait for her to bring it up/communicate about if she wants it she just never does.

She tells me “well I have thought about it and I was going to bring it up tonight but now we are in a fight”.

I dunno just frustrated it seems like a pattern that we can’t break out of.

Thanks for listening

 

[remypare]

Never been diagnosed with ADHD officially but feel like it’s something I need to consider/get help for.

I have worked on meditation and other avenues of self regulation to some extent with limited success.

Appreciate you sharing

I've tried meditation and I love it for a lot of reasons but it generally makes me hornier.

I share your frustration -- I have a decent sex life but my drive is always on and at 11 and my wife's is not quite there.

 

[lil_jenni]

Very curious the expected outcome of this and any guidance provided to get you through those tough intrusive thought moments.

Also curious what pushed you to realize it was a problem if you are comfortable sharing.

I took a month a while back abstaining from the worst activities I was engaged in. I was staying up hours trying to find a playmate every night and it was effecting other parts of my life.

After the month I felt a reset but I realized that activities I was doing I still wanted to do but I needed more balance.

Either way best of luck getting through whatever you are going through

Thank you!

It's a longish story. I posted about it in my thread (https://forum.literotica.com/threads/lil_jennis-adventures-past-and-present.1589532/post-98602796). But the gist is I've been having dark intrusive thoughts of wanting/needing/deserving to be really hurt during sex. And I don't mean a little hurt. I like a little pain. I mean hurt in a bad way.

So, a break from sex was prescribed to help me focus on my self worth apart from sex. But after a couple of days, that freaked me out because my self worth is so wrapped up in sex. Which made me finally admit that it isn't just that I have a high sex drive. I use sex to make myself feel better about myself, and not having it was scary as fuck.

And then I saw this thread and it seems a perfect place to admit it to the universe.

 

[Mike130]

My sex drive is a lot higher than my wife’s. My coping mechanisms are exercise and also chatting with Lit members and writing fantasies about sex we would have with each other’s wives or each other.

Not really a substitute for the real thing or a solution to the problem but I guess it keeps the urges in check for a little while…

 

[Hopeful1972]

My sex drive is a lot higher than my wife’s. My coping mechanisms are exercise and also chatting with Lit members and writing fantasies about sex we would have with each other’s wives or each other.

Not really a substitute for the real thing or a solution to the problem but I guess it keeps the urges in check for a little while…

I can feel that.
Feeling rather under appreciated and massively missing out on sex (as I've seen so little of what can be done).

 

[Mike130]

I can feel that.
Feeling rather under appreciated and massively missing out on sex (as I've seen so little of what can be done).

And maybe that’s one of the benefits of Literotica, you see what’s possible, kinky things you probably never thought of, but others here are discussing like it’s a normal thing. So maybe we’re not as big a pervert as we thought we were. Maybe we can’t join in the fun physically but we can through fantasy.

 

[dkak001]

Been doing a lot of introspective thinking lately and coming to terms with my hyper sexuality and looking for a safe space to discuss and I thought of Lit.
....
Anyone dealing with this? Advice? Thoughts?

I'm sort of in that same spectrum. I've always had a higher drive than my wife. Honestly, she does an amazing job tending to my needs, but it's never really quite enough.
Closeness is something I really want and need. Spending time with her is important too, so it's not just about sex. It's that closeness with her that I crave. Fortunately she is a cuddly person. Snuggled up after dinner for naps, sleeping in on the weekend, etc.

I think the problem for me is that I'm dealing with some really stupid health issues. Without going into details, they've basically taken away pretty much everything else in life that I enjoy. Sex is practically the only thing I have left. What makes this really frustrating is I'm actually quite healthy otherwise. (treadmill 6-9 miles 3-4 days a week, weight training, etc.). Adding to the frustration is I'm not one to cum easily, and she is. So when we get our time, she's DONE soon, and I'm still ready to go.
I guess I've never really penned this down, but imagine the imbalance. One partner who doesn't cum easily and needs it daily, and one with a much lower drive who cums many times in a short while and is done for a week+.

In a way, I'm feeling where you are at, sort of.

 

[FL30]

Been doing a lot of introspective thinking lately and coming to terms with my hyper sexuality and looking for a safe space to discuss and I thought of Lit.

Quick overview 40 year old male happily married with a non HS partner. Been trying to work through it but each conversation makes me feel less seen, less connected and frankly kind of shitty as I talk about the most minimal desires I have sexually.

I’ve been doing a lot is work to minimize my triggers but nonetheless after a few days the urges thoughts and feelings come back.

Thinking that perhaps posting here, even if it’s just in diary form with help me with through this stuff.

Anyone dealing with this? Advice? Thoughts?

Most married people end up having sex twice a month, if they're lucky.

There's a youtube video of a TedX talk about sex in marriage. You should do a search for it.