Wife had secret affair with personal trainer

[Dunes_et_Soleil]

Your wife has reason to leave you, not because of what happened at the gym or doesn't happen anymore in your marriage, but because you have been spying on her, screening her phone systematically. That's no trusting relationship. And you should be ashamed, not only because you are spying on your wife, but also because you make a fool of yourself by telling everybody here.

Alas, I really don't agree with that. You are deliberately misrepresenting the facts and on top of that, insulted the poster as well.
First of all, she went to the gym and he didn't force her to do that, he probably paid for it. She decided to hook up with her personal trainer. To make things worse, she planned to have (anal)sex and he has evidence of that.
Second, if she decided to end the marriage, her case would be very weak. If he has kept a record of the messages and videos, she has no case at all.
Third, she made a mistake evidenced by what she started. I don't deny that he secretly took her phone but it pales in comparison with what she was up to.

In my opinion, they would be crazy to think of ending their marriage. Because she realised that this was not what she wanted and nothing substantial has happened. Things will need to be discussed but most of all, if those three kids grow up without a father, their lives will be very much effected.

 

[SurreyGent]

We all flirt don't we. She was having some fun and went with it but had second thoughts. To discover something on her phone by mistake is ok but to regularly check her phone isn't cool.
Maybe if you'd have asked her in the early stages, tongue in cheek, if there is anyone at the Gym who she likes because of her dedication to work out? This could have opened up some banter.
Some guys, including me, get aroused when we become aware of our wives being attractive/attracted to someone. Now is not a good time discuss it with her. She needs to heal over the invasion of her privacy. Hopefully she will and one day you might be able to tell her how your discovery gave you mixed feelings. Good luck but leave her phone alone

 

[Noor]

Late last year after a night out with friends, my wife was extremely drunk, and quickly passed out, leaving her phone downstairs. My wife is a shy, conservative mom of 3 in her late 30s, and although she's a beautiful, naturally thin 5'10 brunette with long legs and amazingly big and perky boobs, she has never given me any reason to suspect her of cheating. Yet, just because I wonder how any guy who meets my wife wouldn't be interested in her because of her beauty, and I've always been curious about what she might be up to when she has time on her own (which isn't often), every once in a while I take a quick peak at her phone and email. Over my 11+ years with her, I had never seen anything remotely scandalous. However, my mind was about to be completely blown.

As I scrolled through a few of her photo albums on her phone, I thought I would check the deleted items folder before I went to bed. There were a few items there, and just as I was about to close her phone and go to bed, I noticed there were two videos. Before I could really process what I was looking at, up pops a video of my wife in a bra and underwear...and over the next few minutes, she proceeds to take off her bra, squeezing her large tits together, sucking on one of her nipples, and moaning...And the next video went a step further, with my wife standing there topless, with one hand down her pants masturbating, and the other squeezing her tit, moaning loudly with pleasure. It was almost an out of body experience for me - I felt like I was just looking at some random hot internet slut on a porn site who was performing for the camera - I couldn't believe this was actually my wife!

During those 20 minutes of watching the videos over and over again, and zooming in on every little detail, I experienced a range of emotions. I had so many questions swirling through my head. Part of me was incredibly upset, as she clearly did not film these videos for me, and I had no idea who she had sent them to, but the other part of me was incredibly turned on, despite my shock, as I saw my wife in a state of unfiltered pleasure that I rarely, if ever, have seen in our relationship. I found it impossible to sleep that night as I lay awake replaying my moaning, naked wife.

I did not say anything to my wife, and instead, I spent the next month digging through her email, social media, and text messages. It took me a while, but eventually. I was able to piece it all together. She had started to go to a local gym with a few of her friends two years before, and her friends became very friendly with the trainers who worked at the gym. One of the trainers clearly took a liking to my wife, and through my research, I was able to see the progression from him simply being her trainer, to beginning to complement her on her workout gains, to encouraging her to show off and "only wear spandex" to their sessions, to telling her that all the trainers talk about how hot she is, to eventually being bolder, and asking her about her intimate details with me, and how jealous he was of me in that regard.

At first, she seemed reluctant to participate in his banter, but the trainer was persistent over many months, as he attempted to disarm her with little flirty comments here and there, until she started to play along. My wife is naturally a shy and submissive type, and given the relationship in which he got to tell her what to do in their gym sessions, it was an easy transition for him to take on a similar presence as he pushed her to do other things for him, even if she resisted at first. It was clear that she often felt conflicted...she would make comments that she didn't feel like what she was doing was appropriate, but then it was also clear that she enjoyed receiving some extra attention that stay at home moms often do not receive.

The trainer kept pushing, and he told my wife that he was going to have a hard time resisting her for much longer. She made it clear that she wasn't going to sleep with him, despite his many advances, so he pushed her to send him sexy photos/videos of her, and he wouldn't take no for an answer. She kept brushing him off, but a few days before his birthday, he boldly asked if my wife would give him a special present, a video of her rubbing those big tits, and one of her pleasuring herself "thinking of all the nasty things he would do to her hot body." This time, she said she would think about it, and with a little more pushing from the trainer, she sent it to him.

It was clear that she was also very turned on in the videos, and he was clearly starting to have success in getting her to open up more. For the next several weeks, I found many messages between the two of them. He would mostly talk graphically about how hard he would bang her, how she "had the body of a porn star," and it was his goal to turn her into the "big titty milf slut that we all wanted her to be." It appears that she sent a few more photos and videos of herself, but they had been deleted before I could see them myself. Not surprisingly, he had also become more brazen during their sessions, referencing in messages that he enjoyed copping frequent feels when he was with her, and how much more fun their sessions were now that he could train her "hands on." She had never tried anal sex before or even expressed an interest, but he convinced her it would be hot to try this with him, and she even bought a butt plug, which he said she should start using to get ready for him....and sure enough, I found it in the closet, although still unopened in the box.

Just when it seemed that the situation was about to turn into a torrid physical affair, my wife started to have second thoughts on day when the trainer asked my wife to come back to his office after a training session, and tried to have intercourse with her there. She said that she felt too guilty to continue with him, and that he needed to back off. The trainer clearly thought this was just a moment of guilt, and she would change her mind, and he tried on numerous occasions over the next few months to sext, get nude photos, etc, but my wife held firm. She eventually left the gym and the trainer stopped bothering her.

Once I had gathered all of the evidence, I confronted my wife about it. I told her that I was upset, but I understood why she did it, and that part of me was turned on by how much it had aroused her. She felt embarrassed and guilty, and said she felt it was a huge mistake, but it was something she decided to try because things had gotten a bit stale in our relationship, and this was excitement that she hadn't felt in a while. Since then, she has told me on several occasions that she never wants to do this kind of thing again, but I continue to be turned on by what happened.

I'm curious what others think, and how they would feel if they were in my position? Feel free to message me if you want to discuss further!

If my trainer tried that shit, he’d be toast, the fact that he is half my age and at least twice my size wouldn’t matter, my anger would take him down.
She needs a better class of trainer.
Also the self esteem to know that she is attractive to other men but not need to hear that she is from them. She also needs to learn to shut this crap down before it gets out of hand.
This might have led to an affair, but it also could have led to rape or more. This trainer was clearly only interested in her body and not her as a person.
Having her husband invade her privacy is not going to help her avoid future predators.
If it were me, I’d head to marriage counseling if you can find a decent one.

 

[Noor]

Trust me if your partner cheats on you its because you failed to do your part in the relationship first or you are a bad judge of character and its your fault for not selecting a better mate.
If i meet a woman tonight and she cheats on me and finesses me for all my money whose fault would that be? Mine of course for allowing it to happen to me.
The only thing thats horseshit is your victim mentality. Basically what you are saying is that you have no control over the things that happen to you in life. Youre just a weak fucking puppet lacking any real power to govern your own life. Thats pathetic.

There are some people who are just habitual cheats and dont think rules, vows and agreements apply to them, the ignorant partners if those people are not at fault.
However, I don’t think this is what you or the thread is talking about. I wanted to put it out there though.

 

[great lover]

When did the general board become "I think I'll just post a random story board?"

Yeah. Sounds like loving wives

 

[blkjames]

We all flirt don't we. She was having some fun and went with it but had second thoughts. To discover something on her phone by mistake is ok but to regularly check her phone isn't cool.
Maybe if you'd have asked her in the early stages, tongue in cheek, if there is anyone at the Gym who she likes because of her dedication to work out? This could have opened up some banter.
Some guys, including me, get aroused when we become aware of our wives being attractive/attracted to someone. Now is not a good time discuss it with her. She needs to heal over the invasion of her privacy. Hopefully she will and one day you might be able to tell her how your discovery gave you mixed feelings. Good luck but leave her phone alone

Communication is the key in any situation.