Wife had secret affair with personal trainer

[CoyoteHoward]

So the woman has no accountability at all?

I never said that. The cheating spouse cheated.

But there's just something about the other person going, "not my problem" and continuing on. Knowing their part in ruining a relationship.

Like, if I were single. And a married woman initiated flirting, then offered a romp, I'd decline. Because I wouldn't want that to happen to me if I were in that cheated on spouse's position.

But that's just me.

 

[K0fcali]

I never said that. The cheating spouse cheated.

But there's just something about the other person going, "not my problem" and continuing on. Knowing their part in ruining a relationship.

Like, if I were single. And a married woman initiated flirting, then offered a romp, I'd decline. Because I wouldn't want that to happen to me if I were in that cheated on spouse's position.

But that's just me.

When someone gets cheated on it is their own fault. I have cheated and been cheated on. Also been the person they cheated with.

 

[LeeKee]

No, he doesn't. But he sure as hell decides where he puts his dick. And he decided to betray another man.

Karma's a bitch.

Exactly. He should try not to get chocked out.

 

[LeeKee]

When someone gets cheated on it is their own fault. I have cheated and been cheated on. Also been the person they cheated with.

Horseshit.

 

[Lifestyle66]

No, he doesn't. But he sure as hell decides where he puts his dick. And he decided to betray another man.

Karma's a bitch.

Unless the other guy is a close family friend, he may not have any idea of the husband/wife relationship, except for what she tells him.

"My husband's impotent, and he has no interest in sex at all and doesn't care what I do."
"My husband and I are separated, and he's moved out, awaiting the final divorce decree."

In real life, I had heard them both!

Cheaters deceiving their husbands have no problem deceiving their lovers, too. So, be careful when accusing the other guy. He might be just as clueless as you.

EDIT: As for betraying another man? Really? What's there to betray, if the guy's a complete stranger and they have no relationship? So, it depends on the context.

 

[K0fcali]

Horseshit.

Whats horseshit?

 

[LeeKee]

Whats horseshit?

That it’s the others fault. Horseshit. It’s a decision to be a piece of shit, not the other persons “fault”.

Don’t even try to justify your shit behaviour and say someone else made it happen. Fuckin. Total. Horseshit.

 

[K0fcali]

That it’s the others fault. Horseshit. It’s a decision to be a piece of shit, not the other persons “fault”.

Don’t even try to justify your shit behaviour and say someone else made it happen. Fuckin. Total. Horseshit.

So you have no responsibilities in your relationship? Is the other person only in a relationship with you and you are not in a relationship with them?
why would i justify my baby momma cheating on me? It was my fault that she did. This is a simple explanation not an excuse for any type of behavior. You are 100% correct it is a decision to be a piece of shit partner. Thats why i got cheated on. Im glad we came to this agreement.
Thank you.

 

[K0fcali]

That it’s the others fault. Horseshit. It’s a decision to be a piece of shit, not the other persons “fault”.

Don’t even try to justify your shit behaviour and say someone else made it happen. Fuckin. Total. Horseshit.

Trust me if your partner cheats on you its because you failed to do your part in the relationship first or you are a bad judge of character and its your fault for not selecting a better mate.
If i meet a woman tonight and she cheats on me and finesses me for all my money whose fault would that be? Mine of course for allowing it to happen to me.
The only thing thats horseshit is your victim mentality. Basically what you are saying is that you have no control over the things that happen to you in life. Youre just a weak fucking puppet lacking any real power to govern your own life. Thats pathetic.

 

[LeeKee]

Trust me if your partner cheats on you its because you failed to do your part in the relationship first or you are a bad judge of character and its your fault for not selecting a better mate.
If i meet a woman tonight and she cheats on me and finesses me for all my money whose fault would that be? Mine of course for allowing it to happen to me.
The only thing thats horseshit is your victim mentality. Basically what you are saying is that you have no control over the things that happen to you in life. Youre just a weak fucking puppet lacking any real power to govern your own life. Thats pathetic.

Your life experience doesn’t encompass all behaviour. Your just justifying weakness. Which is weakness in itself. Where in nature is weakness respected? Answer- nowhere. Same with making excuses.

 

[Willywin]

Seems to me someone on this thread has a bone to pick with their partner, or ex partner, rather than others making comments.

 

[K0fcali]

Your life experience doesn’t encompass all behaviour. Your just justifying weakness. Which is weakness in itself. Where in nature is weakness respected? Answer- nowhere. Same with making excuses.

Great thanks. Youre wonderful and understanding. No weakness no mercy gotcha. Do you even know what true strength is about? Its about flexibility and resistance. Those are the things that survive in nature.

 

[K0fcali]

Seems to me someone on this thread has a bone to pick with their partner, or ex partner, rather than others making comments.

some people refuse to admit they were the problem. Its not that hard once you get over yourself.

 

[Willywin]

some people refuse to admit they were the problem. Its not that hard once you get over yourself.

And my observation confirmed

 

[Crownvic]

Are you glad you brought the subject up...

 

[K0fcali]

Unless the other guy is a close family friend, he may not have any idea of the husband/wife relationship, except for what she tells him.

"My husband's impotent, and he has no interest in sex at all and doesn't care what I do."
"My husband and I are separated, and he's moved out, awaiting the final divorce decree."

In real life, I had heard them both!

Cheaters deceiving their husbands have no problem deceiving their lovers, too. So, be careful when accusing the other guy. He might be just as clueless as you.

EDIT: As for betraying another man? Really? What's there to betray, if the guy's a complete stranger and they have no relationship? So, it depends on the context.

Thank you. You get it.

 

[K0fcali]

And my observation confirmed

Can you clarify your observation please? Who are you referring to?

 

[K0fcali]

Your life experience doesn’t encompass all behaviour. Your just justifying weakness. Which is weakness in itself. Where in nature is weakness respected? Answer- nowhere. Same with making excuses.

I know my life experience does not always apply but reason and logic do. My baby momma cheated on me. I stole her away from a friend that treated her badly. If she cheated on my friend with me i should have known she would do the same to me. Why would i blame her for being herself when i knew how she was? I was blinded by my desires. Im aware of my weaknesses and hers as well but i cant control what she does only how i react to what she does. Personally i respect anyone that is willing to say i was wrong and it was my fault. I have less respect for puppets that victimize themselves and blame everyone else for their shortcomings. Im not saying you are puppet unless you insist on blaming others then yes youre just a puppet!!!

 

[Classychic]

Late last year after a night out with friends, my wife was extremely drunk, and quickly passed out, leaving her phone downstairs. My wife is a shy, conservative mom of 3 in her late 30s, and although she's a beautiful, naturally thin 5'10 brunette with long legs and amazingly big and perky boobs, she has never given me any reason to suspect her of cheating. Yet, just because I wonder how any guy who meets my wife wouldn't be interested in her because of her beauty, and I've always been curious about what she might be up to when she has time on her own (which isn't often), every once in a while I take a quick peak at her phone and email. Over my 11+ years with her, I had never seen anything remotely scandalous. However, my mind was about to be completely blown.

As I scrolled through a few of her photo albums on her phone, I thought I would check the deleted items folder before I went to bed. There were a few items there, and just as I was about to close her phone and go to bed, I noticed there were two videos. Before I could really process what I was looking at, up pops a video of my wife in a bra and underwear...and over the next few minutes, she proceeds to take off her bra, squeezing her large tits together, sucking on one of her nipples, and moaning...And the next video went a step further, with my wife standing there topless, with one hand down her pants masturbating, and the other squeezing her tit, moaning loudly with pleasure. It was almost an out of body experience for me - I felt like I was just looking at some random hot internet slut on a porn site who was performing for the camera - I couldn't believe this was actually my wife!

During those 20 minutes of watching the videos over and over again, and zooming in on every little detail, I experienced a range of emotions. I had so many questions swirling through my head. Part of me was incredibly upset, as she clearly did not film these videos for me, and I had no idea who she had sent them to, but the other part of me was incredibly turned on, despite my shock, as I saw my wife in a state of unfiltered pleasure that I rarely, if ever, have seen in our relationship. I found it impossible to sleep that night as I lay awake replaying my moaning, naked wife.

I did not say anything to my wife, and instead, I spent the next month digging through her email, social media, and text messages. It took me a while, but eventually. I was able to piece it all together. She had started to go to a local gym with a few of her friends two years before, and her friends became very friendly with the trainers who worked at the gym. One of the trainers clearly took a liking to my wife, and through my research, I was able to see the progression from him simply being her trainer, to beginning to complement her on her workout gains, to encouraging her to show off and "only wear spandex" to their sessions, to telling her that all the trainers talk about how hot she is, to eventually being bolder, and asking her about her intimate details with me, and how jealous he was of me in that regard.

At first, she seemed reluctant to participate in his banter, but the trainer was persistent over many months, as he attempted to disarm her with little flirty comments here and there, until she started to play along. My wife is naturally a shy and submissive type, and given the relationship in which he got to tell her what to do in their gym sessions, it was an easy transition for him to take on a similar presence as he pushed her to do other things for him, even if she resisted at first. It was clear that she often felt conflicted...she would make comments that she didn't feel like what she was doing was appropriate, but then it was also clear that she enjoyed receiving some extra attention that stay at home moms often do not receive.

The trainer kept pushing, and he told my wife that he was going to have a hard time resisting her for much longer. She made it clear that she wasn't going to sleep with him, despite his many advances, so he pushed her to send him sexy photos/videos of her, and he wouldn't take no for an answer. She kept brushing him off, but a few days before his birthday, he boldly asked if my wife would give him a special present, a video of her rubbing those big tits, and one of her pleasuring herself "thinking of all the nasty things he would do to her hot body." This time, she said she would think about it, and with a little more pushing from the trainer, she sent it to him.

It was clear that she was also very turned on in the videos, and he was clearly starting to have success in getting her to open up more. For the next several weeks, I found many messages between the two of them. He would mostly talk graphically about how hard he would bang her, how she "had the body of a porn star," and it was his goal to turn her into the "big titty milf slut that we all wanted her to be." It appears that she sent a few more photos and videos of herself, but they had been deleted before I could see them myself. Not surprisingly, he had also become more brazen during their sessions, referencing in messages that he enjoyed copping frequent feels when he was with her, and how much more fun their sessions were now that he could train her "hands on." She had never tried anal sex before or even expressed an interest, but he convinced her it would be hot to try this with him, and she even bought a butt plug, which he said she should start using to get ready for him....and sure enough, I found it in the closet, although still unopened in the box.

Just when it seemed that the situation was about to turn into a torrid physical affair, my wife started to have second thoughts on day when the trainer asked my wife to come back to his office after a training session, and tried to have intercourse with her there. She said that she felt too guilty to continue with him, and that he needed to back off. The trainer clearly thought this was just a moment of guilt, and she would change her mind, and he tried on numerous occasions over the next few months to sext, get nude photos, etc, but my wife held firm. She eventually left the gym and the trainer stopped bothering her.

Once I had gathered all of the evidence, I confronted my wife about it. I told her that I was upset, but I understood why she did it, and that part of me was turned on by how much it had aroused her. She felt embarrassed and guilty, and said she felt it was a huge mistake, but it was something she decided to try because things had gotten a bit stale in our relationship, and this was excitement that she hadn't felt in a while. Since then, she has told me on several occasions that she never wants to do this kind of thing again, but I continue to be turned on by what happened.

I'm curious what others think, and how they would feel if they were in my position? Feel free to message me if you want to discuss further!

I totally understand how a woman could fall into this innocently. As a woman and a mom I know I have been in a sexless marriage for years and the resentment kept piling up and open communication with spouse did not work. I have just recently filed for divorce. Back to story…I totally and completely had a similar situation where I went to new gym and my trainer was constantly flirting with me and telling me all wonderful things about my body and lightly touching me on “accident” and flirting with me constantly. I was not very attracted to him or maybe I would have fallen into that same trap. We are all human. We make mistakes.

I can understand why you would be aroused. She did things for him in video that turned you on and maybe made you see a side of her you had not seen before. I know for me, it takes a certain type of man to bring out the bad girl in me. It is in there, just the right type of guy has to open that door. I hope you both have overcome this and you have experienced a greater more uninhibited sex life.

 

[stiv837]

I wish my wife had a personal trainer to have an affair with. Maybe she would be in better shape and healthier.

 

[easyoff]

I wish my wife had a personal trainer to have an affair with. Maybe she would be in better shape and healthier.

My wife could bring him home and we both would give her a workout.

 

[CoyoteHoward]

When someone gets cheated on it is their own fault. I have cheated and been cheated on. Also been the person they cheated with.

This is THE most bullshit thing on this thread.

You're projecting your own failures on everyone that's been cheated on.

If that partner is so unhappy they want to cheat, they need to leave the relationship first. Period.

 

[K0fcali]

This is THE most bullshit thing on this thread.

You're projecting your own failures on everyone that's been cheated on.

If that partner is so unhappy they want to cheat, they need to leave the relationship first. Period.

I dont know why you refuse to admit it was your fault while simultaneously denying you are a puppet.

 

[CoyoteHoward]

I dont know why you refuse to admit it was your fault while simultaneously denying you are a puppet.

I refuse because while this CAN be the case, your mindset absolves the cheating spouse of their responsibility. That's bullshit.

 

[nock]

Late last year after a night out with friends, my wife was extremely drunk, and quickly passed out, leaving her phone downstairs. My wife is a shy, conservative mom of 3 in her late 30s, and although she's a beautiful, naturally thin 5'10 brunette with long legs and amazingly big and perky boobs, she has never given me any reason to suspect her of cheating. Yet, just because I wonder how any guy who meets my wife wouldn't be interested in her because of her beauty, and I've always been curious about what she might be up to when she has time on her own (which isn't often), every once in a while I take a quick peak at her phone and email. Over my 11+ years with her, I had never seen anything remotely scandalous. However, my mind was about to be completely blown.

As I scrolled through a few of her photo albums on her phone, I thought I would check the deleted items folder before I went to bed. There were a few items there, and just as I was about to close her phone and go to bed, I noticed there were two videos. Before I could really process what I was looking at, up pops a video of my wife in a bra and underwear...and over the next few minutes, she proceeds to take off her bra, squeezing her large tits together, sucking on one of her nipples, and moaning...And the next video went a step further, with my wife standing there topless, with one hand down her pants masturbating, and the other squeezing her tit, moaning loudly with pleasure. It was almost an out of body experience for me - I felt like I was just looking at some random hot internet slut on a porn site who was performing for the camera - I couldn't believe this was actually my wife!

During those 20 minutes of watching the videos over and over again, and zooming in on every little detail, I experienced a range of emotions. I had so many questions swirling through my head. Part of me was incredibly upset, as she clearly did not film these videos for me, and I had no idea who she had sent them to, but the other part of me was incredibly turned on, despite my shock, as I saw my wife in a state of unfiltered pleasure that I rarely, if ever, have seen in our relationship. I found it impossible to sleep that night as I lay awake replaying my moaning, naked wife.

I did not say anything to my wife, and instead, I spent the next month digging through her email, social media, and text messages. It took me a while, but eventually. I was able to piece it all together. She had started to go to a local gym with a few of her friends two years before, and her friends became very friendly with the trainers who worked at the gym. One of the trainers clearly took a liking to my wife, and through my research, I was able to see the progression from him simply being her trainer, to beginning to complement her on her workout gains, to encouraging her to show off and "only wear spandex" to their sessions, to telling her that all the trainers talk about how hot she is, to eventually being bolder, and asking her about her intimate details with me, and how jealous he was of me in that regard.

At first, she seemed reluctant to participate in his banter, but the trainer was persistent over many months, as he attempted to disarm her with little flirty comments here and there, until she started to play along. My wife is naturally a shy and submissive type, and given the relationship in which he got to tell her what to do in their gym sessions, it was an easy transition for him to take on a similar presence as he pushed her to do other things for him, even if she resisted at first. It was clear that she often felt conflicted...she would make comments that she didn't feel like what she was doing was appropriate, but then it was also clear that she enjoyed receiving some extra attention that stay at home moms often do not receive.

The trainer kept pushing, and he told my wife that he was going to have a hard time resisting her for much longer. She made it clear that she wasn't going to sleep with him, despite his many advances, so he pushed her to send him sexy photos/videos of her, and he wouldn't take no for an answer. She kept brushing him off, but a few days before his birthday, he boldly asked if my wife would give him a special present, a video of her rubbing those big tits, and one of her pleasuring herself "thinking of all the nasty things he would do to her hot body." This time, she said she would think about it, and with a little more pushing from the trainer, she sent it to him.

It was clear that she was also very turned on in the videos, and he was clearly starting to have success in getting her to open up more. For the next several weeks, I found many messages between the two of them. He would mostly talk graphically about how hard he would bang her, how she "had the body of a porn star," and it was his goal to turn her into the "big titty milf slut that we all wanted her to be." It appears that she sent a few more photos and videos of herself, but they had been deleted before I could see them myself. Not surprisingly, he had also become more brazen during their sessions, referencing in messages that he enjoyed copping frequent feels when he was with her, and how much more fun their sessions were now that he could train her "hands on." She had never tried anal sex before or even expressed an interest, but he convinced her it would be hot to try this with him, and she even bought a butt plug, which he said she should start using to get ready for him....and sure enough, I found it in the closet, although still unopened in the box.

Just when it seemed that the situation was about to turn into a torrid physical affair, my wife started to have second thoughts on day when the trainer asked my wife to come back to his office after a training session, and tried to have intercourse with her there. She said that she felt too guilty to continue with him, and that he needed to back off. The trainer clearly thought this was just a moment of guilt, and she would change her mind, and he tried on numerous occasions over the next few months to sext, get nude photos, etc, but my wife held firm. She eventually left the gym and the trainer stopped bothering her.

Once I had gathered all of the evidence, I confronted my wife about it. I told her that I was upset, but I understood why she did it, and that part of me was turned on by how much it had aroused her. She felt embarrassed and guilty, and said she felt it was a huge mistake, but it was something she decided to try because things had gotten a bit stale in our relationship, and this was excitement that she hadn't felt in a while. Since then, she has told me on several occasions that she never wants to do this kind of thing again, but I continue to be turned on by what happened.

I'm curious what others think, and how they would feel if they were in my position? Feel free to message me if you want to discuss further!

Your wife has reason to leave you, not because of what happened at the gym or doesn't happen anymore in your marriage, but because you have been spying on her, screening her phone systematically. That's no trusting relationship. And you should be ashamed, not only because you are spying on your wife, but also because you make a fool of yourself by telling everybody here.