Is bisexuality a blessing or a curse?

[CharlieBoker]

Being bi brings so much in the way of variety when it comes to sexual fulfilment, I feel blessed that I can be turned on by hot sex with a man or a woman. It took a while, but I’m 100% comfortable and proud of being bisexual.

Once in a committed monogamous relationship though, I can’t help but feel I’m missing out.

I’m with a woman and to put it simply I miss cock. I miss sex with another guy. It’s different and I find it so erotic to suck cock and be fucked.

I don’t really feel the desire to stray and fuck other women though. I’m happy with sex with my wife, that box is ticked.

I won’t stray though, out of respect for her desire to be exclusive, so my cock cravings remain just that.

I’m pretty sure that if I was in a committed relationship with a guy, getting all the cock I needed full time, I’d miss sex with a woman. I’m very attracted to women and I find sex with them very fulfilling too. I doubt I could live without pussy and all that goes with a beautiful woman.

For me I guess the problem is not the bisexuality itself but actually monogamy…..I just think that in my case my bisexuality just exaggerates it and means I can’t really ever be fully satisfied in an exclusive relationship.

I know it’s not the same for everyone who’s bi but I thought it would be interesting to hear others’ views and thoughts…….

 

[PleasePeesMe]

In an ideal world, where everyone accepts that sex and love are different things, it would be a blessing. In my world, where I'd been with my wife for around 20 years before discovering I liked cock, it's a curse. Well....tricky.

 

[bijedi]

I am fortunate to be in an open relationship and my wife is very encouraging of my bisexuality. Best of all worlds really.

 

[Not Normal]

It feels like a time for an open and honest talk with your wife about polyamory, or some other form of open relationship and how you can do that and be respectful to her and your marriage.

 

[Britva415]

It doesn't sound like your bisexuality is a curse, it sounds like the curse is the relationships which burden you.

I second the "polyamory" advice - look into that, with or without your current partner.

 

[Travler99921]

For me it was, in a strange way, a blessing. After I came out to my wife we became closer. She said being honest about it was more important than having sexual desires for men. We became more open to each other about many things.

 

[dodgeboy2]

Being bi brings so much in the way of variety when it comes to sexual fulfilment, I feel blessed that I can be turned on by hot sex with a man or a woman. It took a while, but I’m 100% comfortable and proud of being bisexual.

Once in a committed monogamous relationship though, I can’t help but feel I’m missing out.

I’m with a woman and to put it simply I miss cock. I miss sex with another guy. It’s different and I find it so erotic to suck cock and be fucked.

I don’t really feel the desire to stray and fuck other women though. I’m happy with sex with my wife, that box is ticked.

I won’t stray though, out of respect for her desire to be exclusive, so my cock cravings remain just that.

I’m pretty sure that if I was in a committed relationship with a guy, getting all the cock I needed full time, I’d miss sex with a woman. I’m very attracted to women and I find sex with them very fulfilling too. I doubt I could live without pussy and all that goes with a beautiful woman.

For me I guess the problem is not the bisexuality itself but actually monogamy…..I just think that in my case my bisexuality just exaggerates it and means I can’t really ever be fully satisfied in an exclusive relationship.

I know it’s not the same for everyone who’s bi but I thought it would be interesting to hear others’ views and thoughts…….

I am in a very similar relationship, I had many relationships with guys even thinking in my early years I might be gay however once I started dating women (I was a late bloomer when it came to girls not dating until I was 20) I found very shortly afterwards I like sex with both sexes equally.

My marriage, now almost 40 years, was when I decided to be totally monogamous. My wife doesn't know about my past as I don't know of hers when it comes to sexuality however from her Southern Baptist Christian upbringing I know bi/gay sexuality was a turnoff and maybe a deal breaker so it is one secret she will never know of me and I know a polygamous relationship would be off the table and maybe even a marriage ender for me.

I say you know better than anyone here and ask yourself if she knew would your relationship be better for it, worse for it or status quo. If the answer is worse than it would be I assume a no brainer if you love your wife, if you think better then I congratulate you on and say go for it and have a fantastic orgasmic life and if it is status quo that may also be good for you but not sure.

Good luck and I hope you're able to find the right thing for yourself!

 

[Bisexguy70]

Its a blessing. Its allowed me to discover the joys of playing with other men. Im still attracted to woman but have a sexual outlet without being in too many relationships. Although i suppose it can be a curse at times because i crave it so bad and without being able to play i miss it so much.

 

[klippert]

is it a blessing or a curse.... actually; its a choice...

 

[tristantrotsky]

How can it be anything other than a gift from nature to enrich your life and multiply your potential pleasures...?

 

[Britva415]

Being bi brings so much in the way of variety when it comes to sexual fulfilment, I feel blessed that I can be turned on by hot sex with a man or a woman. It took a while, but I’m 100% comfortable and proud of being bisexual.

Once in a committed monogamous relationship though, I can’t help but feel I’m missing out.

I’m with a woman and to put it simply I miss cock. I miss sex with another guy. It’s different and I find it so erotic to suck cock and be fucked.

I don’t really feel the desire to stray and fuck other women though. I’m happy with sex with my wife, that box is ticked.

I won’t stray though, out of respect for her desire to be exclusive, so my cock cravings remain just that.

I’m pretty sure that if I was in a committed relationship with a guy, getting all the cock I needed full time, I’d miss sex with a woman. I’m very attracted to women and I find sex with them very fulfilling too. I doubt I could live without pussy and all that goes with a beautiful woman.

For me I guess the problem is not the bisexuality itself but actually monogamy…..I just think that in my case my bisexuality just exaggerates it and means I can’t really ever be fully satisfied in an exclusive relationship.

I know it’s not the same for everyone who’s bi but I thought it would be interesting to hear others’ views and thoughts…….

In my experience I'm convinced my own monogamous marriage is no different at all from any other relationship in which one still finds people other than their partner attractive and sexually compelling.

Every potential partner is a different human being, so, even completely heterosexual or completely gay people experience the same "want to try someone new" thing, "want someone besides my same old." When it happens to me, it's never about "I can't get dick at home," it's always just about "can't get anything other than what this one partner brings." My attention toward others isn't determined by their sex or gender.

 

[TrailerHitch]

It's a curse if you can't make it happen in real life. A blessing if your circumstances allow you to be what you want to be

 

[canogagrizz]

I am in a very similar relationship, I had many relationships with guys even thinking in my early years I might be gay however once I started dating women (I was a late bloomer when it came to girls not dating until I was 20) I found very shortly afterwards I like sex with both sexes equally.

My marriage, now almost 40 years, was when I decided to be totally monogamous. My wife doesn't know about my past as I don't know of hers when it comes to sexuality however from her Southern Baptist Christian upbringing I know bi/gay sexuality was a turnoff and maybe a deal breaker so it is one secret she will never know of me and I know a polygamous relationship would be off the table and maybe even a marriage ender for me.

I say you know better than anyone here and ask yourself if she knew would your relationship be better for it, worse for it or status quo. If the answer is worse than it would be I assume a no brainer if you love your wife, if you think better then I congratulate you on and say go for it and have a fantastic orgasmic life and if it is status quo that may also be good for you but not sure.

Good luck and I hope you're able to find the right thing for yourself!

Great answer to this post & poster. I have been in pretty much the same exact situation my entire life as well. However my m2m experiences were just limited to adult bookstore arcade gloryholes. I never did any sucking I just went there for extra release other than my hand. I never questioned myself if I was gay or bi I have always been straight and only attracted to females to this very day. I never look at guys thinking sex ever or what their cock looks like or otherwise. I see a woman with nice body & pretty face that has always been what gets me horny and looking. When I got married I never thought of other dudes, my sex life was great with my wife.
I would suggest to this poster to probably just keep his bi thoughts to himself. I don't understand some guy's needs to want to tell their wives their past activities unless they want more than what their wife can't give to them. Because I consider myself straight I never understood thinking about gay sex acts or wanting bi sex with other dudes. So in someway I guess I just can't understand. But in my case I remember my wife saying once in a discussion about gays, that it would be worse to find out her husband was gay or bi because then she'd question if she would be ever ENOUGH for her husband. I thought, ouch that would HURT THE WIFE for sure. She said that she could compete with another woman but not with another guy. So, my point I guess is that any guy who admits (even if they are cheating), he is just being DOUBLE SELFISH AHOLE. First admitting he was cheating, then second THE HURT he would bring onto his wife just so he can "get it off his chest" or conscious? That would be selfish & hurtful. I had a friend who would cheat on his wife with other women, then feel the selfish need in himself to confess to her his sin shortly after. Him being a double asshole.
Anyways, I think most guys have had some kind of m2m fun or messed around at some point in our lives. I don't put labels on sex it's just sex. I think if a guy finds another guy "attractive" then yeah he might be gay. If he's just interested in gay or bi porn & watching it, or even thinking about it, that isn't "gay" imo. I mean fantasies extend into all sorts of different realms.
I would suggest to any guys currently married, mostly content & happy in their marriages, or that especially ARE "in love" with the woman they married, just keep it fantasies and it doesn't mean you bi, gay or anything else just because you think of it or might desire it. Some guys seem to make sex too much of an importance & priority in their lives. Especially if your sex life is fine & good with the wife then WHY?
Ruining marriages & hurting the ones they love just because they have the selfish desire for more sex? Regardless if it's bisexual thoughts or not. Sex isn't that important. I mean there is case where many men in their older ages don't get as much sex anymore if at all. Or the maybe because the wife has illnesses or whatever. What matters is if they want sex over the person they are with & married to. Are they willing to ruin & uproot their wife's life & their own just because they can't control their desires for sex? Over thoughts of it? C'mon that imo is going to far & being selfish. I mean if your not attracted to the person anymore, constantly fighting & not happy that is an entirely different reason to break up a marriage. But over sex? Heck, I haven't had any in years because my wife (that I do still love) has health issues. I have no desires for either sex, even though it would be nice to have any. At my old age I have no desires especially towards women because I'm too old to deal with the drama, money & courting crap & cheating while being married & me NOT wanting a divorce. And I wouldn't do that while I am still married. Never gave that a thought. But I have thought of the old gloryhole days & how that would be fun still IF they still had them around. But I never related that to being gay or bi. Even two guys that hook up for fun once in awhile doesn't mean they still ain't straight. Imo with guys it's maybe sometimes just "getting off", a better form of masturbation is all it is. I have never had the desire to kiss a guy, cuddle with them or anything passionate. I find that a turn off actually. But if it's just a helping hand or mutual BJs then whatever. Doesn't mean a guy is gay or bi. Imho. Labels are bullshit. Guys questioning their "identity" and having to "figure it out" is also annoying & lame to me but too each their own I guess. Even if I was to act on m2m sex, that doesn't mean I'd be gay or bi. It all depends on attraction & emotions imo when it comes to being bi or gay, and not the sex acts. But it seems lots of modern day people are too concerned & questioning themselves too much and become into "finding themselves" and trying to "figure out" their "true identity" and all that psychological babel bullshit these days, when all that nonsense is pretty lame and just causes more unneeded stress in life. Imho. I don't get it. So what if you think of this or that sexually. Don't make it ruin your life over sex or thinking about it so much. If you're making sex that important then you probably also have other "issues" to figure out in life like how to prioritize. It's other people that makes things complicated for others. Then that person starts thinking too much about questioning themselves & let that hogwash bullshit get into their head. Importance. PRIORITIES. LOVE comes before sex.

 

[CharlieBoker]

My wife knows I’m bisexual and she’s very understanding.

She also knows that I’d mmf share with her or have solo male lovers.

She isn’t into polyamory though and has asked me to remain monogamous which I totally respect.

I’ve been unfaithful to her in the past and am unprepared to go there again. It’s not worth destroying the rest of our relationship for. So ultimately it’s a sacrifice or compromise, however you want to look at it.

Like I said in my OP, I think my bisexuality amplifies my desire for sex outside of marriage…..I only really yearn for gay sex, not other women.

I doubt that I’d feel this way if I wasn’t bisexual so that was my point.

I wasn’t asking for life advice, I just thought it would be an interesting discussion point for bisexuals in a monogamous relationship.

 

[ChrissyCD64]

Most definitely a blessing. The best of both worlds.

 

[ZacharyFagg]

It definitely can be, but it shouldn't be. While I lean towards men, I do like women but a woman that desires an effeminate male that likes men can be difficult to find.

 

[bdave2]

On balance, I think that being bi is a blessing. As a bi man who has been monogamously married to a woman for 40 years, it is clear to me that I understand more about her sexual needs than a purely heterosexual man would. While I made the mistake of not revealing my sexuality before marriage, she has been somewhat understanding of what I revealed to her about my needs and feelings. She has also accommodated by exploring anal penetration of me and nipple play. Despite letting me know that any dalliance with men would be a deal breaker, This becomes more difficult as her libido crashed some time ago - mine has not. At this point neither my manself, nor my womanself is satisfied, but my wife is a wonderful person and in spite of opportunity, I haven't been able to violate her trust. I am also not interested in brining unwanted organisms home to her.

 

[CharlieBoker]

On balance, I think that being bi is a blessing. As a bi man who has been monogamously married to a woman for 40 years, it is clear to me that I understand more about her sexual needs than a purely heterosexual man would. While I made the mistake of not revealing my sexuality before marriage, she has been somewhat understanding of what I revealed to her about my needs and feelings. She has also accommodated by exploring anal penetration of me and nipple play. Despite letting me know that any dalliance with men would be a deal breaker, This becomes more difficult as her libido crashed some time ago - mine has not. At this point neither my manself, nor my womanself is satisfied, but my wife is a wonderful person and in spite of opportunity, I haven't been able to violate her trust. I am also not interested in brining unwanted organisms home to her.

Full respect to you for your loyalty to your wife. I also adhere to my wife’s wishes for monogamy out of love for her.

I’m open with her regarding my sexuality and we bring some gay fantasy play into our sex life, which helps, but it doesn’t stop my desires for gay sex entirely.

I think there is some compromise in most committed relationships, mine happens to be the restriction of sexual exploits with other men.

It may not always be the case, we’ll see.

I like to hear other bi guys’ thoughts and experiences.

 

[JenniferLoves]

Can I say both? At least for me anyway lol

 

[CharlieBoker]

Can I say both? At least for me anyway lol

In what ways?

 

[Owmark22]

Can I say both? At least for me anyway lol

same

 

[ChrissyCD64]

I showed this to my wife after I answered it previously and her response was "why wouldn't anyone, male or female, want to be bi. If you're bi you can eat pussy, suck cock, and bury your face in any ass you get the chance to.

 

[CharlieBoker]

I showed this to my wife after I answered it previously and her response was "why wouldn't anyone, male or female, want to be bi. If you're bi you can eat pussy, suck cock, and bury your face in any ass you get the chance to.

….and that’s very true and a great response….proving there’s no added complication of being in love with someone who prefers manogamy.

Like I said in my OP, being bisexual can magnify the repression felt in a monogamous relationship.

 

[ChrissyCD64]

….and that’s very true and a great response….proving there’s no added complication of being in love with someone who prefers manogamy.

Like I said in my OP, being bisexual can magnify the repression felt in a monogamous relationship.

We are very much in love, even after over over fifty years of multiple sex partners, primarily married bi feminine males for me and bi married women for her.

 

[CharlieBoker]

We are very much in love, even after over over fifty years of multiple sex partners, primarily married bi feminine males for me and bi married women for her.

I’m pleased for you. I’d like to be in that position.
Unfortunately my wife is not as open minded, so it’s a compromise I make.