I'm even more interested in a woman’s breasts than in her vagina... is that weird??

[coacheric]

I'm leaning more towards legs and ass the last year or so.

 

[Riles]

I do believe it's physically impossible to lean towards legs and ass and not also be leaning towards a vagina also.

 

[Lord Pmann]

*coffeespew* Awesome.

*tips my stylish hat*

 

[Daisy_Hols]

definitely not weird, boobs are much nicer to look at! me and my gfs are always eyeing each others up lol xx

 

[BoobLover78]

definitely not weird, boobs are much nicer to look at! me and my gfs are always eyeing each others up lol xx

Love that response! I find it really hot when girls check out other girls boobs ;-)

 

[Daisy_Hols]

lol its what gfs are for!

 

[erotica_n_s]

I guess what I was trying to say was - to me, the idea of touching, caressing, and kissing a woman in intimate places (particularly on her stomach and her breasts) seems to be as much erotic fun (if not more) as thrusting my erection into her vagina.

Is there anything wierd about having a stronger fixation on intimate touching/caressing/kissing, than on genital penetration?

 

[NotHisLady]

I guess what I was trying to say was - to me, the idea of touching, caressing, and kissing a woman in intimate places (particularly on her stomach and her breasts) seems to be as much erotic fun (if not more) as thrusting my erection into her vagina.

Is there anything wierd about having a stronger fixation on intimate touching/caressing/kissing, than on genital penetration?

Honey look around you!
There's an entire thread of posts by people who will happily agree with you on the appeal of a woman's bosom. Have a look.
Would so many of us have the profile pics and AVs that we do if we didn't appreciate boobs (or enjoy having ours appreciated now and then?)

Besides that, there isn't anything weird about anything that doesn't hurt someone or make them do something against their will. The things we like are the things that make us unique, not weird!
If you can't learn that here you may not be able to learn it anywhere.

Sex is natural, Sex is fun! However you like it, if your partner is up for it then go for it.

Avoid dead stuff and livestock and you're good to go.

 

[observer7]

Why are you yelling? Why the huge font? You come across as a screaming madman saying on a street corner, "AM I WEIRD!? I'M WEIRD, AREN'T I?"

Sure. You are weird. Welcome to the world. Happy now?

As for your pictures...poor choices. Pretty insulting even to the body parts. Pretty much what the lady said; "Let's compare a marble statue in the Pantheon to a doctor's office spread under florescent lights! Wouldn't you agree one's more pleasing??"

Douche.

 

[fire_breeze]

I guess what I was trying to say was - to me, the idea of touching, caressing, and kissing a woman in intimate places (particularly on her stomach and her breasts) seems to be as much erotic fun (if not more) as thrusting my erection into her vagina.

Is there anything wierd about having a stronger fixation on intimate touching/caressing/kissing, than on genital penetration?

You know what I'm genuinely worried about? That when you do become intimate with women, that you will be sorely and completely disappointed.

I've looked through your posts, and you seemed to have this image of the perfect female and perfect sexual experience completely etched in your mind, elevating women on a pedestal, that no female could ever compare. It's analogous to the 19th century writer (the name escapes me) who, after the first night with his wife, was stunned that she was not as smooth and hairless as he expected her to be. His only point of comparison was Greek marble statues and paintings. It's truly worrisome. I do understand where you are coming from, but I am a little concerned that you will be supremely disappointed as no woman can ever meet your high expectations.

Intercourse can be as sensual as you want it to be. Intercourse can be -and is -exceedingly intimate. Intercourse can be incredibly erotic and fun. If you describe intercourse as erect penis in vagina, then sure, it's as dry as a manual. However, if you describe as "he slowly slid into her, her moist walls gripping him as he buried himself in her warmth" or whatever is much more passionate and intimate than 'thrusting an erect penis in her vagina'.

I am not saying this in order to discourage questions - in fact, it's a good idea to ask real women these questions, and most would encourage you to ask. But I also wish you would take their answers to heart: yes, you are normal. And no, not every woman would find X pleasurable. Every single woman is different, and that difference is reflected in the bedroom, regardless if she's a sweet virgin or the hardened town whore (and the virgin can be more aggressive in bed than the whore). Anything can get a woman sexually aroused. My all knows very damn well the spots on my neck and collarbone. However, for some women those spots would do nothing to them. Does that make me weird? No. I don't express certain emotions during certain times. Does that make me abnormal? No. It makes me me, and it makes me unique, just as your tastes, your experiences, your perceptions makes you you and makes you unique.

Look, I think you're a sweet young man, and your sweetness and gentleness is reflected in your writings. I also enjoy reading your posts. I hope that you know by now that this is not meant to be a criticism but rather a true concern and a point that I feel that needs to be respectfully pointed out. You have nothing to worry about. You're normal. Relax, breathe and most importantly, enjoy.



ETA: if you truly truly want to know what arouses women, read the erotica they write - many of them have their stories linked in their signature. I will not tout my own horn, but I will promote some of the Lit Ladies here:

SweetErika
Athalia
Cathleen
Rogueslady

Each of these stories are well written and exquisite in its own way, reflecting the true diversities of pleasures as experienced by women. And I am sure many will add other links.

And no, it's not plagiarism. It's what every single writer does.

 

[erotica_n_s]

Fire_breeze...

I always value your opinion. Once again, thanks for your comments here.

You know what I'm genuinely worried about? That when you do become intimate with women, that you will be sorely and completely disappointed.

I've looked through your posts, and you seemed to have this image of the perfect female and perfect sexual experience completely etched in your mind, elevating women on a pedestal, that no female could ever compare. It's analogous to the 19th century writer (the name escapes me) who, after the first night with his wife, was stunned that she was not as smooth and hairless as he expected her to be. His only point of comparison was Greek marble statues and paintings. It's truly worrisome. I do understand where you are coming from, but I am a little concerned that you will be supremely disappointed as no woman can ever meet your high expectations.

Well, if I'm absolutely honest, yes, I do understand that reality is usually very different from fantasy.

And I do understand we all have our own personal fantasies, which is normal.

If I'm absolutely honest, when I asked "is that weird?" it wasn't necessarily a question about me as an "individual", rather it was a question about myself as a writer.

I mean, for example, some people may have a "fetish" for expensive jewellery, and there's nothing wrong with that. However, if they write a story about a woman having an orgasm because someone gave her a diamond necklace as a gift - again, there's nothing wrong with that - but as a reader, it's not going to be of interest to me, I'm not going to enjoy reading that story.

Likewise, the fact I like looking at women's breasts - it's my "thing" and I'm comfortable with that. There was a time, a long time ago, when I (naively) did not realise that a woman needed genital stimulation to reach orgasm (or at least, the overwhelming majority of women need genital stimulation to reach orgasm - right?). I naively believed that a woman could have an orgasm just by being kissed in intimate places, particularly on her breasts. And in any case, breasts are beautiful.

Now I could HAPPILY write a story about a woman having an orgasm just because a guy kissed her breasts - not on her nipples, but just below her nipples - without even touching her genitals, without even getting her trousers off. Yeah, I'd enjoy that story, but I think most people would think it was weird. That's why, as a writer, I'd like to have some idea of what women actually like, and what they don't like.

Every single woman is different, and that difference is reflected in the bedroom, regardless if she's a sweet virgin or the hardened town whore (and the virgin can be more aggressive in bed than the whore). Anything can get a woman sexually aroused...

Indeed, many of my stories are of course about sweet, shy virgins. But sometimes I also do fantasize about women who are unabashed nymphomaniacs - but I tend not to discuss those story ideas on Literotica, because I think those stories would be easier/more straightforward to write, so I don't have to ask for help with those stories. I know what it's like to have a high libido - but I'm not sure I know what it's like for a young woman from a "restrictive" culture when she gets intimate with a man for the first time in her life. Indeed, some of the women I've known in real life, were charmingly modest in their conduct - and I've had difficulty trying to work out how they would behave in "sexual" situations. I would ask them if I could, but I don't think they would appreciate such questions. That's why I keep asking those questions here on Literotica.

Look, I think you're a sweet young man, and your sweetness and gentleness is reflected in your writings. I also enjoy reading your posts. I hope that you know by now that this is not meant to be a criticism but rather a true concern and a point that I feel that needs to be respectfully pointed out. You have nothing to worry about. You're normal. Relax, breathe and most importantly, enjoy.

You're too kind If I'm honest though, I probably AM even more naive than the shy and innocent virgins that I fantasise about... Still, I'm a sweet guy with a sexually hungry mind...

And no, it's not plagiarism. It's what every single writer does.

LOL!!!





.

 

[fire_breeze]

Fire_breeze...

I always value your opinion. Once again, thanks for your comments here.



Well, if I'm absolutely honest, yes, I do understand that reality is usually very different from fantasy.

And I do understand we all have our own personal fantasies, which is normal.

If I'm absolutely honest, when I asked "is that weird?" it wasn't necessarily a question about me as an "individual", rather it was a question about myself as a writer.

I mean, for example, some people may have a "fetish" for expensive jewellery, and there's nothing wrong with that. However, if they write a story about a woman having an orgasm because someone gave her a diamond necklace as a gift - again, there's nothing wrong with that - but as a reader, it's not going to be of interest to me, I'm not going to enjoy reading that story.

Likewise, the fact I like looking at women's breasts - it's my "thing" and I'm comfortable with that. There was a time, a long time ago, when I (naively) did not realise that a woman needed genital stimulation to reach orgasm (or at least, the overwhelming majority of women need genital stimulation to reach orgasm - right?). I naively believed that a woman could have an orgasm just by being kissed in intimate places, particularly on her breasts. And in any case, breasts are beautiful.

Now I could HAPPILY write a story about a woman having an orgasm just because a guy kissed her breasts - not on her nipples, but just below her nipples - without even touching her genitals, without even getting her trousers off. Yeah, I'd enjoy that story, but I think most people would think it was weird. That's why, as a writer, I'd like to have some idea of what women actually like, and what they don't like.




Indeed, many of my stories are of course about sweet, shy virgins. But sometimes I also do fantasize about women who are unabashed nymphomaniacs - but I tend not to discuss those story ideas on Literotica, because I think those stories would be easier/more straightforward to write, so I don't have to ask for help with those stories. I know what it's like to have a high libido - but I'm not sure I know what it's like for a young woman from a "restrictive" culture when she gets intimate with a man for the first time in her life. Indeed, some of the women I've known in real life, were charmingly modest in their conduct - and I've had difficulty trying to work out how they would behave in "sexual" situations. I would ask them if I could, but I don't think they would appreciate such questions. That's why I keep asking those questions here on Literotica.



You're too kind If I'm honest though, I probably AM even more naive than the shy and innocent virgins that I fantasise about... Still, I'm a sweet guy with a sexually hungry mind...



LOL!!!

Why do you think that sexually inexperienced women cannot also be sexually hungry? Again, you're putting women up in a realm of the unattainable, or worst, stereotyping them.

Let me reiterate: some women can orgasm through breast play alone. Yes, most cannot, but in a fantasy world, who cares? Some women can orgasm through penetration alone, many cannot, but in most erotic stories, many women cum from the moment penetration started. And some women can orgasm whilst doing a handstand on a stack of books and have the wind whisper over their exposed clit, whereas most cannot - but in someone's fantasies, this happens.

Every woman is different. What gets me off may not get the next woman off.

The point is - write for yourself. Write the story YOU want to read and ignore the fact whether or not it's considered to be weird. Your fantasies that you chose to share are squarely within the boundaries of societal norms. It's your writing, your playground, have fun with it. I guarantee you that there will be at least one other who will enjoy your writings.

In college, one of my close friends was a 'proper' Hindu girl, from a proper family. She was a bit shy and somewhat quiet. She lost her virginity in her sophomore year; she could care less if her first sexual experience happened before or after marriage, she wanted her first time to be with someone she liked, trusted and was comfortable with.

Her boyfriend that had the honour of being her first was exhausted after the first night they slept together. And surprised. Why? Because she was extremely open in bed, very assertive in what she wanted. She wasn't kinky or anything, but she was very sexually aware. We all had a little too much to drink one night, and when some of us expressed surprise when her and boyfriend told us about that night, she snorted, saying that just because a culture appears to promote demureness and virginity and whatnot, do not assume that is what really happens. She went on to tell us some stories that her sisters, relatives and friends did, and let me tell you, the pandits would have had a heart-attack if they heard about them . And yet, they each acted like a proper, demure, Indian girl in public. This is nothing new, it's been happening since the dawn of time.

The point of this little story is do not think that just because a woman grew up in what we may deem as a restrictive culture that she is unaware or even inexperienced when it comes to sex. You would be very VERY surprised at the reality. Sorry to bust your bubble, but what happens in the private women's quarters is often completely opposite of what is expected - and taught - in the public, men's quarters.

Instead of wondering how a woman is the first time in bed, how about you write what about your fantasies, what you hope would happen, what your perceived reaction will be? You can still have your shy virgin, if that's your thing, but remember, that most shy virgins do have a clue - and fantasies - of their own.

This is all not to make you uncomfortable in asking further questions or you participating on these forums (and I think you should maybe interact a bit more to learn). Rather, it is to impress that as a writer, you create stories that exist in the world you have built. A good story is when a fantasy realistically unfolds in a compelling narrative. So yes, your protagonist can orgasm from having her breasts kissed if it is done relatively realistically. Again, read stories from female writers and you know what I mean.

That said, much can be gleaned about the psyche of an author from the stories s/he writes, and in this case, from what I can observe, you seem to have a very limited perception of women, and that's what worries me. I do believe that you are kind and respectful man, but women are not a separate species. Talk to us and you will learn that even the most demure of ladies can have the most sexual of minds.

You know what I think? I think that you are desperately trying to please your readers, and that is what tripping you up. Never ever write for a reader - write for yourself.

I will leave you with a quote from Cyril Connelly, of what I believe should be the axiom of all writers, regardless of the genre: "Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self."

 

[Eilan]

I've looked through your posts, and you seemed to have this image of the perfect female and perfect sexual experience completely etched in your mind, elevating women on a pedestal, that no female could ever compare. It's analogous to the 19th century writer (the name escapes me) who, after the first night with his wife, was stunned that she was not as smooth and hairless as he expected her to be. His only point of comparison was Greek marble statues and paintings.

Ruskin?

 

[NightL]

erotica_n_s, you are very fortunate to have been offered a supportive and guiding hand here, particularly from fire_breeze. I strongly suggest you read her advice many times. Try to absorb every nuance there is in her message for you.

I was quick to be dismissive of your first post and to be frank not far removed from that now, but credit to fire_breeze again I have come back to this thread a few times. I stress again how fortunate you are to have her guidance on this issue which is so much more than the sum of a woman's breasts. If you can absorb what she is telling you, maybe one day you can step away from your porn movie oriented perception of women and relationships and actually get to know a real life person deeply.

From your profile:

"Most of the female protagonists in my stories are based on women I've been attracted to in real life... female friends, female acquaintances, female colleagues, etc.

If I could get them to read my stories, and if they felt GENUINELY flattered, or even sexually aroused, then I've succeeded as a writer."​

You do seriously need to ditch the porn movie scenarios - particularly the demure woman overcome to lust by the dominance of the alpha male. Seriously not a cool path to go down, particularly if you have little life experience yourself. While those occasions may happen, the intricacies of such a relationship go well beyond penetrative sex or your fascination of breasts.

So back to your profile and reference to Rocco Siffredi in one of your story scenarios. Ask yourself "How many women would sign up to a Rocco Siffredi fan club?" Do you think any of your "female friends, female acquaintances, female colleagues, etc." would sign up? So then ask yourself why would any of them get the slightest bit aroused over your writings if you hold such a porn/character in such high esteem? Would you really wish any of "female friends, female acquaintances, female colleagues, etc." to be treated in the way the female porn actors are in those movies?

If you want the respect of "female friends, female acquaintances, female colleagues, etc." you actually need to get to know them first, not glancing from afar with lustful thoughts over their breasts and fantasising that you are Rocco Siffredi fucking them in the arse. Ditch the porn movies, get out in the real world, start conversations with real women, find out who they are, their interests, their opinions on life, love and relationships, their values. Make genuine friends, be a reliable interested person in their lives, offer support, encouragement, respect and congratulations.

When you get close enough, you can indeed ask questions about sexuality. If you get the chance, listen VERY carefully to what they say and stop imposing your porn fuelled ideals on them.

To be honest, while you are no doubt a handsome young man, I suggest taking down your profile picture from here while you sort out this stage of your life. You may find making that connection with a woman in the real world a little hindered if you are matched up to that person struggling to come to terms with appropriateness, respect and the inability to engage more than just staring at breasts. I could word this far more strongly... and it would be far from complimentary toward you. I am however, like others here, believing you are just young, naive with much to learn of life and relationships.

Sex is not just about breasts, vaginas and thrusting penises. This is where your porn movies have failed you - click and instant erections and vaginas and of course your fixation of breasts. Life is not like that. Sex is the outcome of a glance, a smile, a conversation, getting to know someone for who they really are and not just their breasts. This process can take weeks, months, sometimes years. The first connection experience during a conversation about the joys and passions of life can be as rewarding as the first kiss, maybe far more so. Think of that moment when a woman you respect and desire gives you that little smile that makes you immediately wonder if she thinks of you in the same way. At that moment, what is the impact on your heart rate, your breathing, your ability to think clearly? Do your legs feel wobbly, do you feel flushed, even sweaty? Then the joy that flows, that lasts for days and all the ifs and buts and could it be moments that follow. That is where sex starts - not gawking at breasts.

I think you may be missing most of the story in your writings and in real life.

 

[NightL]

A few people, here on this thread and elsewhere, already have suggested you ease up on the large fonts.

Large fonts ≠ maturity

 

[Erochic]

Sex is not just about breasts, vaginas and thrusting penises. This is where your porn movies have failed you - click and instant erections and vaginas and of course your fixation of breasts. Life is not like that. Sex is the outcome of a glance, a smile, a conversation, getting to know someone for who they really are and not just their breasts. This process can take weeks, months, sometimes years. The first connection experience during a conversation about the joys and passions of life can be as rewarding as the first kiss, maybe far more so. Think of that moment when a woman you respect and desire gives you that little smile that makes you immediately wonder if she thinks of you in the same way. At that moment, what is the impact on your heart rate, your breathing, your ability to think clearly? Do your legs feel wobbly, do you feel flushed, even sweaty? Then the joy that flows, that lasts for days and all the ifs and buts and could it be moments that follow. That is where sex starts - not gawking at breasts.

I think you may be missing most of the story in your writings and in real life.

This!!! Oh god yes this!!
Listen to these incredible words of wisdom.

This seems to me the height of arrogance:

But sometimes I also do fantasize about women who are unabashed nymphomaniacs - but I tend not to discuss those story ideas on Literotica, because I think those stories would be easier/more straightforward to write, so I don't have to ask for help with those stories.

Again you are making very shallow assumptions about women you call unabashed nymphomaniacs. I'm a woman who has had a lot of partners and a lot of fun light hearted sex, but I am also capable of falling deeply and passionately in love and having incredible intimate sweet sex.

I might give my body away more easily, but it's much harder to win my heart.... But when you do I will give it fully and love and care for you sweetly.
To me the way a man acts in the world,treats me and feels about me - as a person - is much sexier than the way he feels about my breasts.

That works for me online too.

 

[BoobLover78]

No, I don't think its weird at all! I love a woman's breasts heavily!! Even when I watch porn I keep all my attention on the girl's boobs

 

[In Anticipation]

Ruskin?

Yeah, Ruskin, he never consummated his marriage as he was so horrified by female pubic hair. I guess he'd have been ok now on the whole . . .

 

[erotica_n_s]

NightL, thanks very much for taking the time to respond to my comments. I really do appreciate it.

I’d like to make a few further comments here:

…I stress again how fortunate you are to have her guidance on this issue which is so much more than the sum of a woman's breasts.

I don't just view a woman as "a pair of breasts". I’m not the type of person who looks at a woman and sees her purely as a sex object. Believe me, in real life, I’m not quite as young and naïve as you might perhaps have imagined. But then again, I’m here to learn. I’m a male virgin, and at my age, that probably says a lot. Then again, I think you’re looking at my “Literotica persona” and making larger assumptions about what I’m like in real life. I can tell you, in both my personal and my professional lives, I’ve had the privilege of knowing, and working with, several remarkable (and beautiful!) women, and I have genuine respect and admiration for them. In all cases, the respect is mutual.

…start conversations with real women, find out who they are, their interests, their opinions on life, love and relationships, their values. Make genuine friends, be a reliable interested person in their lives, offer support, encouragement, respect and congratulations.

I’m a little disappointed you seem to think I needed to be told that… Once again, I’d respectfully say that your assumptions about me are perhaps not entirely fair…

Sex is not just about breasts, vaginas and thrusting penises. This is where your porn movies have failed you - click and instant erections and vaginas and of course your fixation of breasts. Life is not like that.

Again, yes, I realize this. I’d be the first to say that sex is not purely about the “physical”. Believe me, I find most (but not all!) porn films boring. I would absolutely agree that without the emotions, without genuine warmth between two people, sex is boring.

Life is not like that. Sex is the outcome of a glance, a smile, a conversation, getting to know someone for who they really are and not just their breasts. This process can take weeks, months, sometimes years. The first connection experience during a conversation about the joys and passions of life can be as rewarding as the first kiss, maybe far more so. Think of that moment when a woman you respect and desire gives you that little smile that makes you immediately wonder if she thinks of you in the same way. At that moment, what is the impact on your heart rate, your breathing, your ability to think clearly? Do your legs feel wobbly, do you feel flushed, even sweaty? Then the joy that flows, that lasts for days and all the ifs and buts and could it be moments that follow.

I’ve had the pleasure, and the cherished memories, of several occasions when I’ve met someone amazing, and felt that I was making an emotional connection with them. Yes, those moments when you realize someone seems as interested in you as you are in them, when a little smile makes your heart do a dance of its own – those magic moments – I’ve had a few of those, I assure you. However, for a number of reasons, I never pursued any of these “potential” connections/relationships very far, so although there were a number of occasions when it seemed I might have found someone special, I’ve never actually entered into a formal romantic relationship at any point in my life so far. So yes, I’m a sexual virgin.

I’d just like to say, I don’t sit around at my workplace staring at my female colleagues’ breasts. I don’t fantasise about “fucking them in the arse” (well, only the beautiful ones )… believe me, I can comfortably say that all of my colleagues would describe me as a polite, pleasant, courteous, likeable individual in real life.

The fact that I may have sexual fantasies about a particular woman does NOT mean that I have no regard or respect for her as an individual. It does NOT mean that I’m not interested in the person that she is. It does NOT mean that I’m not interested in getting to know her delightful and wonderfully complex personality, her desires, her life’s ambitions, etc. If anything, it’s the women that I genuinely like as individuals that I’m most likely to have fantasies about. I’m certainly capable of keeping my fantasies separate from real life.

Somehow, in real life, I don’t feel comfortable talking to my female colleagues about their sex lives/sexuality. I just don’t feel it would be appropriate. There have been occasions when I couldn’t help overhearing “girl talk” among my female colleagues, but generally I’ve felt that the gentlemanly thing to do is to quietly step away and give them the privacy they’re entitled to.

And that’s the great thing about Literotica – it’s a place where I can ask questions I could never ask anyone in real life.

You might think my sexual fantasies are crude, unsophisticated and boring. You might think my thought processes are bizarre. I realize that, which is why I’m here to run my thoughts and ideas by others. I’m here primarily for advice on writing. With input from others, I might be able to stretch and mould my basic ideas into stories that might appeal to a wider audience. And in any case, fire_breeze has just given me permission to write my stories however I want to! I do acknowledge, perhaps I could have/should have been more careful with my choice of words, so I could have been clearer/more precise in asking the question(s) I wanted to ask.

And by the way, the guy in my “profile pic” is not me. That’s Kunal Nayyar, an actor who plays Raj Koothrappali in “The Big Bang Theory”. I chose his picture primarily to give people an idea of my ethnicity (I’m ethnically from India, as is Mr Nayyar).

And also, respectfully, you are welcome to make comments whether complimentary or not - I may learn something from it!

The story with Rocco Siffredi and a young woman from India, was not inspired by a porn film. Rather, it was inspired in large part by a story I read a long time ago – a tastefully written story on the theme of “sex with a stranger”. In fact, it was a fantasy I had before I had even watched any porn films.

And by the way, I do intend to take up the story of Rocco and Shilpa and develop it further. I’d be grateful for any input. It’s going to take a while, I’m going to have to take an extended break from Literotica, but I do wish to write that story out further.







.

 

[NightL]

And by the way, the guy in my “profile pic” is not me. That’s Kunal Nayyar

I actually do enjoy a chance to laugh at myself from time to time - that did it.

I’d respectfully say that your assumptions about me are perhaps not entirely fair…

Welcome to online communication. There is a thread title that pulled me in because I thought "oh no... surely not..." and then it just got a whole lot more demeaning toward women as I read your first post. You want to be a writer that specialises in interaction between people, so why was your title not "I'm more interested in a woman’s mind than her vagina... I am a writer of erotica??"

Back to your first post; 2,022 characters with multiple references to specific areas of the female body and what you would like to do with them, then after 2,022 characters you finally ask "Would like to know what women think…". I didn't just make assumptions, I made a reasoned judgement based on what you wrote.

More posts, more body parts complete with photos and large fonts. Certainly appeared to be a lot of one handed typing going on there (who said males can only do one thing at a time) and for many posts after.

So do you want to be a writer of porn or a writer of erotica? In my opinion, based on this thread, your profile and reading your story scenarios you have your head and hand firmly in porn land. So where does interaction, communication and emotions figure in all this? Where are the flirtations, the teasing, the expressions of affection and love or the rawness of intense deep sexual emotions from your characters? Where is the agony of time?

In my view your approach is most definitely not erotica, it is of the fantasies of a naive male virgin who has got way too caught up in the land of porn. It is like you have this intense belief and desire for women to be the subordinate demure Bollywood star by day and raving nymphomaniac by night. You are projecting your fantasies and ideals without any knowledge of a deep connection with a partner.

I agree, you need to research, you also need to become the best friend to a woman, her lover. Desire her, respect her, have wonder if you challenge her and satisfy her intellectually and sexually and then for her to dump you and for you to realise and appreciate why that was the right decision for her. Probably many times over with partners of differing personalities, desires and expressions of emotions and sexual needs - then write erotica. You have to appreciate and explore the variances and complexities of relationships.

I would absolutely agree that without the emotions, without genuine warmth between two people, sex is boring.

How would you know? I did not suggest that for a second. Intense rewarding sexual communication can most certainly occur between strangers or acquaintances or friends (remove 'or' if you wish) and boring sex can be the norm with someone you love.

So back to your profile statement of

"Most of the female protagonists in my stories are based on women I've been attracted to in real life... female friends, female acquaintances, female colleagues, etc.

If I could get them to read my stories, and if they felt GENUINELY flattered, or even sexually aroused, then I've succeeded as a writer."​

it is like you are saying "I want women to get turned on and only by my fantasies of self-gratification".

What do you have to offer to the equation of a relationship or sexual tryst? Where does the gratification come from for your partner(s), in life or stories, sexually, intellectually and emotionally? How much are you willing to provide? How are your efforts received? What importance do you place on that? What gratification do you get from giving? What do you believe are the opinions of women about you? Do you care?

Go out and experience the pleasures and agony of life. Give without expectation, you maybe surprised at what comes back. Then you may have a better grasp of what is needed to write about interactions between people.

While I could assume much, I made judgements from your written offerings here. So again, what are you offering to "female friends, female acquaintances, female colleagues, etc."? You did indicate they were your target audience. What do they gain?

Hope you now understand my first post in this thread with more clarity.

 

[NippleMuncher]

Back to your first post; 2,022 characters with multiple references to specific areas of the female body and what you would like to do with them, then

Suffice it to say . . . BOOBIES!!!

Not that I'm biased or anything . . . :eek

 

[NightL]

Suffice it to say . . . BOOBIES!!!

Not that I'm biased or anything . . . :eek

OK - laughing again - thanks NippleMuncher

 

[NippleMuncher]

OK - laughing again - thanks NippleMuncher

Well, it's about God damned time!!

 

[erotica_n_s]

NightL, once again, thanks for your comments. I was pleasantly surprised to see you replied again!! In all honesty, I didn't expect that you would!!

...In my opinion, based on this thread, your profile and reading your story scenarios you have your head and hand firmly in porn land. So where does interaction, communication and emotions figure in all this? Where are the flirtations, the teasing, the expressions of affection and love or the rawness of intense deep sexual emotions from your characters? Where is the agony of time?

Okay, let me concede - yes, perhaps my fantasies seem pornographic rather than being "artistically" erotic. Maybe I’ve been aiming for all this time was pornography rather than erotica. That having been said, some of my stories do contain “emotion”.

But I think porn can still be tasteful - and that's what I'm aiming for.

Going through some of my own earlier posts, yes I’d have to agree, some of it is embarrassing and makes me cringe. I’d edit it if I had the time. I’m sorry if people found any of it offensive.

In any case, as I’ve said already, these are my fantasies – they’re mine and they are fantasies. Just because the female protagonists in one or two of my stories happen to be diffident, shy and nervous during their first times – with strangers in each case – doesn’t mean that I actually believe or expect that all women everywhere in the world behave like that in real life.

Demureness in a young woman turns me on. You may find it bizarre, but it is one of my “things”. I’m not sure I can explain it in any detail. Equally, in some of my stories/fantasies, the female protagonists are quite sexually confident, assertive, adventurous, even aggressive – not remotely “demure”. For now though, I’m focusing on my fantasies about a sexually innocent/naïve young woman. Later on, I hope to get around to stories with different themes, and different protagonists.

…It is like you have this intense belief and desire for women to be the subordinate demure Bollywood star by day and raving nymphomaniac by night.

No, not quite; but I’m not going to argue the point any further right here.

I realize that expecting my female friends, acquaintances, and colleagues to find my stories arousing is ridiculously simplistic. But then again, maybe some of them might actually enjoy my stories? Many women do enjoy the simple pleasures of porn, right?

My fantasies would be boring if they were completely true-to-life. The whole point of my fantasies is to create a world that I wish I could live in and explore. And I have many different fantasy worlds. Just because I’ve discussed only a few of my fantasies in this forum doesn’t mean that that’s all I think there is to the actual world around me. And it doesn’t mean that those are the only fantasies I have. Those of us who enjoy watching Hollywood action films do not necessarily believe that the world is constantly under threat from sinister global crime syndicates or deranged megalomaniacal super-villains who can threaten whole governments and then end up being thwarted by single-handed heroes who happen to be astonishingly resourceful. Fantasies are just fantasies. There is no moral obligation for fantasy stories to closely match reality.

All things considered, I guess I can’t complain too much if people think my writing is boring/unsophisticated, etc., just as long as people don’t find it revolting, sickening, or offensive in any way.

And I’d like to know what you thought of the story I mentioned earlier – did you think it was erotic or pornographic? That story is a reasonable representation of the tone I’m aiming for. That story is about a young woman who ends up seduced by a stranger. Incidentally, the young woman in the story does NOT have feelings of shyness.

…need to become the best friend to a woman, her lover. Desire her, respect her, have wonder if you challenge her and satisfy her intellectually and sexually and then for her to dump you and for you to realise and appreciate why that was the right decision for her. Probably many times over with partners of differing personalities, desires and expressions of emotions and sexual needs - then write erotica. You have to appreciate and explore the variances and complexities of relationships.

What do you have to offer to the equation of a relationship or sexual tryst? Where does the gratification come from for your partner(s), in life or stories, sexually, intellectually and emotionally? How much are you willing to provide? How are your efforts received? What importance do you place on that? What gratification do you get from giving? What do you believe are the opinions of women about you? Do you care?

Go out and experience the pleasures and agony of life. Give without expectation, you maybe surprised at what comes back. Then you may have a better grasp of what is needed to write about interactions between people.

While I would love to go out there and meet a new woman and start a new relationship, and do all of the things you suggest, etc. at this point in my life, I simply do not have that luxury. If I did, I probably wouldn't be spending my time here on an online discussion forum . I can’t really explain any further, so I’ll leave it just there.

And – to ANYONE that may be interested, like I said, I acknowledge that my story ideas may seem very unsophisticated, but if you can take the time, you may be able to help me improve my writing/stories. If you would like to read through my stories, and if you see any elements that you like, and you think you can suggest changes to the story ideas, I’d welcome it.




.

 

[erotica_n_s]

I'd also like to mention, one of the other commentators here sent me a very kind PM, for which I'd like to thank them.

I'm sorry I can't mention who it is, and sorry for not responding directly. You can send me further PM's if you wish, but as a general rule I'm not hugely comfortable sending PM's to others myself.