If I ruled the world...

[PicassosPleasure]

Oh, I’m pretty sure this one would have been stopped. The police visited them to ask them to consider other options in the future based on the number of calls to the non-emergency number asking for them to intervene.

Well, sad to say, that was me for about a year when my wild-ass son was still living with me and I was traveling frequently for work. I had a lot of neighbors who wanted me out of the neighborhood. (A reference to George Carlin's skit about Mr. Roger's Neighborhood.)

 

[PicassosPleasure]

If I ruled the world, senior citizens would get 12 Mulligans for when they post out of alphabetical order in ABC threads. (Oops.)

 

[Wonderer67]

I’d obliterate the politics board and most of the fucks on it (right and left).

Then declare universal anarchy.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I have obviously thought about this a lot. So I have a list.

1. Thigh highs are now the only type of hosiery available.

2. All newly recorded music must be vetted through me.

3. People are forbidden to tell me anything that about the show Big Bang Theory.

4. If your truck is big and loud, you automatically get a license plate that says TINYDICK.

5. Talk of politics is banned. I am now your benevolent dictator and you do not need to worry about political parties.

6. Birkenstocks are forbidden.

7. Smoking cigarettes is prohibited.

8. Ticketmaster and LiveNation will be abolished.

9. Bras are optional for some, mandatory for others.

10. Instagram is no more.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I would ban all HOAs. Forever.

I live in a neighbourhood with a very strict HOA. They can suck my left nut. Every fucking year they remind me to trim my palms in late February. Every fucking year I can tell them to fuck off until April, when it’s appropriate to trim them. I like that they keep people from painting their houses purple or parking a Dodge in the front lawn. But damn they’re some uppity assholes.

 

[Taegul]

I have obviously thought about this a lot. So I have a list.

1. Thigh highs are now the only type of hosiery available.

2. All newly recorded music must be vetted through me.

3. People are forbidden to tell me anything that about the show Big Bang Theory.

4. If your truck is big and loud, you automatically get a license plate that says TINYDICK.

5. Talk of politics is banned. I am now your benevolent dictator and you do not need to worry about political parties.

6. Birkenstocks are forbidden.

7. Smoking cigarettes is prohibited.

8. Ticketmaster and LiveNation will be abolished.

9. Bras are optional for some, mandatory for others.

10. Instagram is no more.

Stock in watermelon farms and vacuum manufacturers would skyrocket the day you took office.

I'm getting in early while the prices are still low.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Stock in watermelon farms and vacuum manufacturers would skyrocket the day you took office.

I'm getting in early while the prices are still low.

11. I would normalize vacuum and watermelon fucking.

(To be fair, I’ve never actually fucked a watermelon. A vacuum, yes. A watermelon, not yet.)

 

[LadyLascivious1]

11. I would normalize vacuum and watermelon fucking.

(To be fair, I’ve never actually fucked a watermelon. A vacuum, yes. A watermelon, not yet.)

I find the honesty of that “yet” highly entertaining

 

[GuitarGuy100]

Abolish the 5-day work week.

 

[Bry1313]

11. I would normalize vacuum and watermelon fucking.

(To be fair, I’ve never actually fucked a watermelon. A vacuum, yes. A watermelon, not yet.)

I honestly thought you were a watermelon expert. I feel like I just found out Santa isn’t real.

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

I'd require internet users to make public their real name and use thier actual picture for their AV in order to troll.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I honestly thought you were a watermelon expert. I feel like I just found out Santa isn’t real.

Does one have to fuck something to be an expert???