Husband crossdressing

[JulieAnn42]

I just found out in October that my husband likes to dress up as a woman. He assures me he is not interested in men and I believe him. However, I married a man and I want a man and I am not interested in a woman. I am struggling with this.

 

[irishblade]

I just found out in October that my husband likes to dress up as a woman. He assures me he is not interested in men and I believe him. However, I married a man and I want a man and I am not interested in a woman. I am struggling with this.

If he feels something is sexy on him, why wouldnt you support it? I mean that'd be like him telling you not to wear hats or t-shirts. Seriously though, he's still a man regardless of what he wears. Cut him some slack, the fact he entrusted you with this was probably ridiculously difficult.

 

[JulieAnn42]

I feel funny with him wearing something feminine. Yes, I want him to be happy, but how far does that go? He wants me to allow him to go somewhere with me and him being dressed as a woman.

 

[irishblade]

I feel funny with him wearing something feminine. Yes, I want him to be happy, but how far does that go? He wants me to allow him to go somewhere with me and him being dressed as a woman.

Different strokes for different folks I guess. If he's happy let him be happy. It really isn't harming anyone plus its something maybe you guys can explore together.

 

[Anomaly1964]

Its harming her, she does not like it...

 

[PantyPlay]

I feel funny with him wearing something feminine. Yes, I want him to be happy, but how far does that go? He wants me to allow him to go somewhere with me and him being dressed as a woman.

Let me say that I share some similarities with your husband so I think I understand his desires. It was undoubtedly literally terrifying for him to reveal this to you. The fear of rejection, damage to your relationship, or even divorce is very real in such situations. It is also obviously something so strong in him that he couldn't live with it as a secret or surpress it (not that anyone should have to do that about themselves).

I would suggest that you have a calm but extensive discussion. Explain to him that you love him and you want him to be happy. In order to do that, you need to understand more.

In my case, I have no desire to really go out into public as a woman with my wife. The fact that this is important to him is a big clue. You need to understand if this is a sexual fetish he wants to embrace or if it more directly cross-dressing without a sexual component.

Try to encourage him to let you in so you can really understand what is being asked of you. That's the only fair way to see if it is something you can live with.

Hugs
Kris

 

[Cyann]

He wants me to allow him to go somewhere with me and him being dressed as a woman.

A sexual fetish practiced in private is one thing, but this above would not be cool with me. Is he transgendered? I think I would want to know more.

 

[bluesky496]

I just found out in October that my husband likes to dress up as a woman. He assures me he is not interested in men and I believe him. However, I married a man and I want a man and I am not interested in a woman. I am struggling with this.

i quite understand , seeing him dressed leaves you feeling awkward as this is not the man you fell in love with and married and you are feeling confused and possibly a little hurt by it all , you need to sit down together and talk it through and if he feels the need to do this and you have trouble accepting it perhaps give him time alone while you are out with friends but stipulate that he must change before you get home but you must both reach a decision about where it goes and you must make your husband understand how you feel too , i hope this helps and you can work things out , feel free to p.m. me if you want to talk more ,x

 

[klippert]

I just found out in October that my husband likes to dress up as a woman. He assures me he is not interested in men and I believe him. However, I married a man and I want a man and I am not interested in a woman. I am struggling with this.

First and foremost...It is upon him, NOT YOU, to now be completely honest, and open with you...Do NOT let him make you believe, because you're having mixed emotions about this...That he is a 'victim' of some sort, that you don't understand NO EFFING Way...

He's kept this a secret from you and you found out the hard way. He must be there for you, as you need to be there for him...BUT, he IS not a victim in this. If anyone is...you are. You thought you married a "Man's man", now you're not sure if you marred a Nancy... you said it....You married a man, and want (and deserve) a man, and not interested in a woman...I'm guessing especially a man dressing and acting like a woman...

To many times I've read (on a different site) woman finding out there husband is Bi or a cross-dresser.... and they're (the wife) made out to be the "bad guy" in all of this.. Sorry it doesn't workout that way. These men have lied and kept a secret...it is your husband that needs to understand the only victim is you his wife.

 

[klippert]

i quite understand , seeing him dressed leaves you feeling awkward as this is not the man you fell in love with and married and you are feeling confused and possibly a little hurt by it all , you need to sit down together and talk it through and if he feels the need to do this and you have trouble accepting it perhaps give him time alone while you are out with friends but stipulate that he must change before you get home but you must both reach a decision about where it goes and you must make your husband understand how you feel too , i hope this helps and you can work things out , feel free to p.m. me if you want to talk more ,x

that won't work...she comes home...she knows he's been prancing around....waiting, watching the football game.. the mental image is worse. you think being out with her friends...she's forgotten.. NOPE, Won't happen. Her friends will see right through her and start asking...what's wrong, or she drinks more than usual, starts telling her friends...comes home and light into him, giving him credence to be a victim...

 

[pensivepoet]

It's not gonna go away, and most likely it's always been there.
He just finally got brave enough to share it with you.
This isn't something broken that you can fix.
And you can't change him
Only suppress his needs.
~and that isn't a solution
You have a tough choice to make.
He's made his
Good luck and best wishes

 

[oggbashan]

Crossdressing does not necessarily mean gay. It might not mean he is anything but heterosexual.

Crossdressing can have a sexual element and be arousing for him - as a male.

It is a one way street. Women can wear almost any male clothing on the street and no one blinks. But a man in a skirt or dress? That's not socially acceptable. It is in some countries. A Scotsman in a kilt is not crossdressing. An Arab in a flowing robe is not crossdressing. The distinctions between what is male and what is female clothing are set by our society's standards.

Society is unfair about clothing. A woman can wear a much wider range of materials and colours particularly for formal occasions while a man is restricted to a suit or a tuxedo.

A crossdresser may just like the wider choice, or the more sensuous materials against his skin.

Or he might feel that dressing as a woman is a form of escapism - "I don't have to be the one who makes the decisions.".

The desire to crossdress in public is more of a worry. Crossdressing in private as part of mutually agreed sexual games is one thing. Wanting to appear as a woman in public is far more than the usual crossdressing scenario.

He has to work out WHY he wants to crossdress, WHY he wants to do it in public, and if it upsets his wife, WHY the desire to crossdress is conflicting with his love for her.

 

[janetsexy77]

I just found out in October that my husband likes to dress up as a woman. He assures me he is not interested in men and I believe him. However, I married a man and I want a man and I am not interested in a woman. I am struggling with this.

Julie Ann,
I suggest you sign up at crossdressers(dot)com . They have a section for spouses and family members of crossdressers that can help you understand and cope with this. Good luck and best wishes.

 

[shc917]

nice

Julie Ann,
I suggest you sign up at crossdressers(dot)com . They have a section for spouses and family members of crossdressers that can help you understand and cope with this. Good luck and best wishes.

Nice advice ,
I m sure this will help her

 

[MaryR]

Crossdressing does not necessarily mean gay. It might not mean he is anything but heterosexual.

Crossdressing can have a sexual element and be arousing for him - as a male.

It is a one way street. Women can wear almost any male clothing on the street and no one blinks. But a man in a skirt or dress? That's not socially acceptable. It is in some countries. A Scotsman in a kilt is not crossdressing. An Arab in a flowing robe is not crossdressing. The distinctions between what is male and what is female clothing are set by our society's standards.

Society is unfair about clothing. A woman can wear a much wider range of materials and colours particularly for formal occasions while a man is restricted to a suit or a tuxedo.

A crossdresser may just like the wider choice, or the more sensuous materials against his skin.

Or he might feel that dressing as a woman is a form of escapism - "I don't have to be the one who makes the decisions.".

The desire to crossdress in public is more of a worry. Crossdressing in private as part of mutually agreed sexual games is one thing. Wanting to appear as a woman in public is far more than the usual crossdressing scenario.

He has to work out WHY he wants to crossdress, WHY he wants to do it in public, and if it upsets his wife, WHY the desire to crossdress is conflicting with his love for her.

You sound very technical but as far as a woman is concerned the fetish fantasy of it all is quite exciting.

 

[slutty whore boy]

Do you think women find it sexually exciting?

 

[greystardust]

Do you think women find it sexually exciting. I have this joke going with this woman I work with. I find her really attractive and sexy even though you maybe wouldn't look twice at her if you didn't know her. Anyway she just has a way about her that I find really desirable. The joke we have going is that she has started to joke that I'm her bitch. She said it first when I helped her out with something but now we've joked about it a couple of times. Thing is when she says it I can't help but be really turned on by it and it makes me instantly hard. I would love to be her bitch. I don't think she means anything by it and I'm sure it is just a joke to her.

oh no no no shb
she is very likely feeling the hot attraction you're feeling.
my experience is that these things work in tandem - when you communicate with someone, when you give each other attention, once the sexual energy rises in you, it's in her.
be a little subtle, but direct enough to encourage her, it looks like your fantasy is about to become reality - lucky boy
enjoy

 

[greystardust]

You sound very technical but as far as a woman is concerned the fetish fantasy of it all is quite exciting.

you see, now there's a woman I can respect

bless u mary (mother of jesus)

 

[oggbashan]

You sound very technical but as far as a woman is concerned the fetish fantasy of it all is quite exciting.

The original post indicated concern and said "I am struggling with this."

If one partner in a marriage is unhappy with the other one's sexual preferences then it is NOT "the fetish fantasy of it all is quite exciting". It is a real problem in their relationship.

I know that some men find crossdressing exciting but it isn't one of the major fetish choices. The number of women who are excited by men crossdressing is very low. There are other fetishes such as forced feminisation which are claimed to be exciting for women, but again it is usually the man's desire, not the woman's.

It doesn't matter what the particular fetish or the sexual preference is - if it is not shared by the couple. Some compromise has to be reached between them or the relationship is heading for the rocks.

JulieAnn42's second post #3 in this thread suggests the crossdressing is a major problem. Crossdressing is a rare fetish. Wanting to crossdress in public is even rarer. Wanting your wife to accompany you while you are crossdressed in public is an even smaller subset of those who crossdress - so the husband has a very strong desire for his particular behaviour. That desire may be so strong that professional psychiatric help could be necessary to reduce it to an acceptable limit.

If JulieAnn42's short posts are accurate statements of the situation then posts about how particular individuals like crossdressing aren't really appropriate. They don't address the relationship problem.

 

[bluesky496]

that won't work...she comes home...she knows he's been prancing around....waiting, watching the football game.. the mental image is worse. you think being out with her friends...she's forgotten.. NOPE, Won't happen. Her friends will see right through her and start asking...what's wrong, or she drinks more than usual, starts telling her friends...comes home and light into him, giving him credence to be a victim...

that is one scenario and you may be right but it isnt going away so between them they must resolve it ,difficult but possible with open and frank discussion ,i hope they work it out .

 

[JulieAnn42]

I am thinking I need to tell him to do it when he is away.

 

[DarkPleasures]

That may be for the best.

 

[Asian_Flower]

I would definitely struggle with it to! I am attracted to manly, masculine men and this would definitley be a deal breaker for me.

 

[Queen_Vicki]

I just found out in October that my husband likes to dress up as a woman. He assures me he is not interested in men and I believe him. However, I married a man and I want a man and I am not interested in a woman. I am struggling with this.

DIVORCE! And do it QUICK!

 

[DarkPleasures]

Well, that's just rude. But, what should we expect from QV?