How to approach my partner about kinks?

[Daddys_little_slut_]

I have a really high sex drive and a desire to explore the many different kinks that interest me - ranging from dd/lg to degradation to CNC.

My boyfriend of 5 years is very vanilla and has a low sex drive. I love him very much but am struggling to feel sexually fulfilled and am starting to feel frustrated and sometimes unwanted.

Suggestions? Advice? Anything would be appreciated. I know the answer is communication but would love guidance about how to go about it?

 

[Privates1stClass]

Of course communication is the key to your issue. You could just tell your boyfriend you'd like to be more adventurous in bed. Nearly every guy would like to hear his girlfriend say those words.

If you've been with him for five years, think about what really turns him on. A blow job just might grab his attention and help you get your idea across.

Perhaps your boyfriend has a low testosterone level? A doctor could determine that. Both of you could enjoy better sex if his testosterone increases.

The best of luck to both of you.

 

[Lady2020]

Tell him what you need. He can go for it or not. But do you want to stay in a relationship where your needs aren't getting met, esp if his interests and needs are different?

 

[NightL]

Dress mask to foot in finest latex, brandish the biggest whip you can find then jump suddenly from a darkened corner approaching swiftly shouting "Who wants to be Mommys' bitch?!" - I'm sure that will provoke a lasting change

 

[davion2308]

The disparity in sex drive is already the biggest issue. If you two had similar wants and needs from a frequency standpoint, you're going to do a lot better opening up discussion regarding kinks and other wants/needs.

In the mean time, you can figure out the most low-key, non-invasive way to play out one of your fantasies. Require no roleplay from him and see just how you can meet your own needs. Ask him if he would (be very specific and script out exactly what you want to try). If you're open-minded and you're showing some vulnerability with what you want and why you want it, he may try it with you.

I don't know him or you so I can't speak as to what's going to work well but having a conversation when you're not trying to have sex, when neither of you are on any intoxicants, and you can allow him to absorb the information and the ask without pressure ... that's the best way to go about this. Maybe there's a secret sex freak in the after all? Or maybe not.

Good luck!

 

[marcussad]

I have a really high sex drive and a desire to explore the many different kinks that interest me - ranging from dd/lg to degradation to CNC.

My boyfriend of 5 years is very vanilla and has a low sex drive. I love him very much but am struggling to feel sexually fulfilled and am starting to feel frustrated and sometimes unwanted.

Suggestions? Advice? Anything would be appreciated. I know the answer is communication but would love guidance about how to go about it?

I think you need to increase his desire for sex . Little bit of sports and / or some activty , healthy food and good sleep can make your man pervert for sex

 

[LadyElsbeth]

I will give my two cent's worth here and just add that timing is everything if your lover is not someone who has explored any type of kink at all. Just having a "dry" conversation about this like an everyday topic probably will not be your best bet. The next time you are making out, foreplay, etc. whisper to him one of your fantasies. Say it like it was a dream you had and see his response. In the heat of the moment, talking dirty or sharing fantasies can be incredibly sexy vs trying to discuss it during dinner or watching television. I hope that made sense.

 

[rockstardaddy]

I will give my two cent's worth here and just add that timing is everything if your lover is not someone who has explored any type of kink at all. Just having a "dry" conversation about this like an everyday topic probably will not be your best bet. The next time you are making out, foreplay, etc. whisper to him one of your fantasies. Say it like it was a dream you had and see his response. In the heat of the moment, talking dirty or sharing fantasies can be incredibly sexy vs trying to discuss it during dinner or watching television. I hope that made sense.

I second this, both on the timing and also that telling a fantasy while having sex can be a really fun and safe way to explore the fantasy space without the pressure of acting it out. The brain is the most sexual organ.