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How Do You View Yourself?

I strive to be a good version of myself, but our ego can be an enemy who deceives us.

What other people say about me is no concern of mine.

I try to be true to my higher self.

Often I fail, but I get up and try again.
 
I’ve always had a negative view of myself. My self esteem is a little better than it was, but still needs some improvement. I’m at the point in my life where I try to please myself - I’ve started running because I want to - not to make myself more attractive to anyone else. I’m so self conscious that not even people who have known me years can get a video call from me as I find I just keep looking at myself and thinking and even commenting on things I don’t like - “ugh look at that spot! Oh my God, I look so old!” Video calls stress me out.

During my day, I try to get out of my own head and focus on what I’m doing, rather than worrying about how I perceive myself, or fear others perceiving me. I’m constantly working on how I see myself, and have definitely seen improvement over the last few years. I once had this mentor, who would tell me “embarrassing yourself is the way to gain confidence” - and he was right, to a degree. So I try to be as silly as I want to be in my daily life, and it definitely does help with confidence levels when you have everyone smiling around you.
 
AWonkyDonkey said:
Are you super hard on yourself?

Wise Ladies & Gentlemen of Lit,

Usually I try not to be so serious here on Lit. After all, it's meant to be a fun place. However I am curious as to other people's struggles and views.

I really struggle with self-esteem and self-confidence. I thought they were the same until recently but apparently they are not. I really am not the best looking guy in the world. In fact, I make Shrek look like a handsome, ripped hunk from a steamy romantic movie. I really find it hard to look at photos of myself, to look in a mirror and to generally show my face anywhere unless my photo has been heavily edited with filters and using the best angle.

I know some people will say that everyone has had doubts at some point about their appearance but mine really is extreme to the point where I'd be happy to hide my face from people forever - however wearing a ski -mask to go shopping is frowned upon. My looks have impacted relationships too. I know of at least one person who kicked me to the side because of how I looked.

I'm curious as to how many Litsters out there feel the same way and how you have dealt with it. I'd welcome any tips except the "seek professional help" one. I have tried discussing this with professionals and nothing has ever helped, including CBT.

So please, even if it is short and sweet, any advice or any stories of what has happened may help.
Click to expand...
Might be responding too late to this but I've always thought I looked unusual, i have sisters with fine features while I have had the big lips and eyes so I look kind of cartoonish. I live in my head a lot and a lot of how we feel about ourselves is just our own wrong opinion. I've spoken about my own issues here before but to keep it short, when I was at my lowest and hated my body I decided to post some of my pics here to get some unbiased, raw feedback. And for thr most part, I have been told I am normal and also attractive. I know we should look inwards for validation but making friends here who saw me and liked what they saw gave me the boost I needed. And remember, there are almost 8 billion people on earth, there is bound to be more than a few people who find us appealing and attractive. You will meet them and they will help you realise you arent as ugly as you think you are. Lots of love to you ❤
 
AnnaKahn said:
Might be responding too late to this but I've always thought I looked unusual, i have sisters with fine features while I have had the big lips and eyes so I look kind of cartoonish. I live in my head a lot and a lot of how we feel about ourselves is just our own wrong opinion. I've spoken about my own issues here before but to keep it short, when I was at my lowest and hated my body I decided to post some of my pics here to get some unbiased, raw feedback. And for thr most part, I have been told I am normal and also attractive. I know we should look inwards for validation but making friends here who saw me and liked what they saw gave me the boost I needed. And remember, there are almost 8 billion people on earth, there is bound to be more than a few people who find us appealing and attractive. You will meet them and they will help you realise you arent as ugly as you think you are. Lots of love to you ❤
Click to expand...
1712265654846.png
 
I'm me. Full of insecurities yet confident. Lonely but surrounded by people. Happy but sad. Sarcastic yet caring. Desprate for contact but love being alone. I feel like a failure yet I know I'm somewhat successful.
I don't have any answers but I know where to find them when I look deep inside myself.
Life is complicated but yet it actually isn't.
I'm doing my best. I'm me and I'm greatful not still being the other screwed up version of my self.
 
AWonkyDonkey said:
Are you super hard on yourself?

Wise Ladies & Gentlemen of Lit,

Usually I try not to be so serious here on Lit. After all, it's meant to be a fun place. However I am curious as to other people's struggles and views.

I really struggle with self-esteem and self-confidence. I thought they were the same until recently but apparently they are not. I really am not the best looking guy in the world. In fact, I make Shrek look like a handsome, ripped hunk from a steamy romantic movie. I really find it hard to look at photos of myself, to look in a mirror and to generally show my face anywhere unless my photo has been heavily edited with filters and using the best angle.

I know some people will say that everyone has had doubts at some point about their appearance but mine really is extreme to the point where I'd be happy to hide my face from people forever - however wearing a ski -mask to go shopping is frowned upon. My looks have impacted relationships too. I know of at least one person who kicked me to the side because of how I looked.

I'm curious as to how many Litsters out there feel the same way and how you have dealt with it. I'd welcome any tips except the "seek professional help" one. I have tried discussing this with professionals and nothing has ever helped, including CBT.

So please, even if it is short and sweet, any advice or any stories of what has happened may help.
Click to expand...
I can relate to so much of your post.
I have practically no self-confidence or self-esteem. I never feel as though I have anything of value to share with anyone nor would be seen as interesting or even desired by anyone else.

The pandemic was a horrible time to live through but the best thing was being able to go out in a mask and not be frowned on. I felt more secure when people couldn't see me because I never feel like I'm worth being seen to begin with.
I wish I could tell you how to deal with it but I'm still finding my way. After a lifetime of feeling this way, I don't know that I'll ever feel any different. It's so ingrained within me.

i'll be following this to find what advice others can give.
 
How do I view myself
I get a magnifying glass and look into my mirror... :ROFLMAO:
 
GoldilocksSC said:
I struggle at times with my self esteem. A lot of it has to do with my marriage and the troubles we’ve been having for the past 5 years. But I’ve been seeing a therapist and she has me really working on being kind to myself, it’s a work in progress and I still have my moments for sure. But I am getting to a better place now
Click to expand...
GOOD for you! I think we all have some self esteem issues at various times in our lives. (I know I do) Well done for getting help and working on it !! Am proud of you!
 
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