Pure
Fiel a Verdad
- Joined
- Dec 20, 2001
- Posts
- 15,135
Using the story and example shown: How does the writer create tension and surprise? How does he or she sustain that tension?
What are some possible variant strategies, besides the one shown? Give some examples from your own or others' writing.
It's almost a cliche that a story requires tension or conflict; underlying that, I believe is the 'surprise' issue. Something surprising has to happen; to put it differently, the reader has to become curious about something--What will she [character] do; What will he say? etc.
This story element or characteristic tends to be absent in much posted Lit. material.
I have chosen the segment, below, from our Dr. Mabeuse's, Keeper of the Streets, about half way through. The man who saved Lia early on, tells about himself. The story thread is from a couple months ago. I am not so much concerned with the scene as such, but its role in the continuing 'arc' of tension in the story.
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=316475
“Listen to me Lia,” he said deliberately. “You are a sane and intelligent woman and you live in a sane and intelligent world, but things are not what you imagine. I’ll tell you this once, because I’ve learned through experience that once is either enough or it’s entirely too much, so take it as you will.
“This city is alive. Literally. It’s a living organism. It has thoughts and feelings, it has a metabolism, it grows and it changes, and it is aware. That’s the most important thing: that it’s aware. It’s aware of everything, and things go on here in the streets that most people can’t even imagine. The people who live here are like little cells in a body, each with his or her special purpose, and none of them know it. There are only a few of us who know, and I’m one of them.” [Keeper of the Streets, Part 2]
Lia stole a glance at him, afraid to look at him directly. They were passing under streetlights now and squares of light were passing over his face as he spoke. His eyes were calm and he looked entirely reasonable, and his quiet rationality only seemed to make her rising panic all the worse.
“Some of us homeless people – not all of us, but some – are like the white blood cells in the city. We hunt through the streets and alleys looking for sickness and signs of infection. We know the signs and we do what we can. We keep our finger on the city’s pulse and know when it’s healthy and when it’s sick. We know all sorts of things. It’s our life. It’s what we do.”
“What did you do just now. How did you do that?”
He sat back with a sigh, unsure of whether she had heard anything he’d just said.
“I told you. I can be whatever I want. I’m not what you would exactly call human, Lia. I’m one of the guards, the keepers of the streets.”
Lia had to look at him. She couldn’t help it. She was terrified he was going to turn into something else and she didn’t want to be caught be surprise.
“Where do you come from? Where do you live? What do you want with me?”
“I don’t know where I come from. I’ve just always been like this. I think we just grow. Wherever there’s a vacant lot, an old alley, an abandoned factory, we just seem to sprout up. As to where I live, I live all over. It doesn’t matter. I might have a penthouse apartment, or I can live in a box under the expressway. I go where I’m needed.”
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How does this scene resolve tension? In the whole story, how does the scene maintain tension.
I think think this example is rather sophisticated in that there is a kind of step-by-step or continuing surprise. IOW, the revelation above could have been a 'show stopper,' a place where the readers says, "OH, that explains everything." But it is not; it's a step along the way.
How has the good dr managed to use the revelation to set the stage for later action and surprise? Does he succeed?
{Added: below I have raised the related porn-erotica question as regards the tension issue.}
What are some possible variant strategies, besides the one shown? Give some examples from your own or others' writing.
It's almost a cliche that a story requires tension or conflict; underlying that, I believe is the 'surprise' issue. Something surprising has to happen; to put it differently, the reader has to become curious about something--What will she [character] do; What will he say? etc.
This story element or characteristic tends to be absent in much posted Lit. material.
I have chosen the segment, below, from our Dr. Mabeuse's, Keeper of the Streets, about half way through. The man who saved Lia early on, tells about himself. The story thread is from a couple months ago. I am not so much concerned with the scene as such, but its role in the continuing 'arc' of tension in the story.
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=316475
“Listen to me Lia,” he said deliberately. “You are a sane and intelligent woman and you live in a sane and intelligent world, but things are not what you imagine. I’ll tell you this once, because I’ve learned through experience that once is either enough or it’s entirely too much, so take it as you will.
“This city is alive. Literally. It’s a living organism. It has thoughts and feelings, it has a metabolism, it grows and it changes, and it is aware. That’s the most important thing: that it’s aware. It’s aware of everything, and things go on here in the streets that most people can’t even imagine. The people who live here are like little cells in a body, each with his or her special purpose, and none of them know it. There are only a few of us who know, and I’m one of them.” [Keeper of the Streets, Part 2]
Lia stole a glance at him, afraid to look at him directly. They were passing under streetlights now and squares of light were passing over his face as he spoke. His eyes were calm and he looked entirely reasonable, and his quiet rationality only seemed to make her rising panic all the worse.
“Some of us homeless people – not all of us, but some – are like the white blood cells in the city. We hunt through the streets and alleys looking for sickness and signs of infection. We know the signs and we do what we can. We keep our finger on the city’s pulse and know when it’s healthy and when it’s sick. We know all sorts of things. It’s our life. It’s what we do.”
“What did you do just now. How did you do that?”
He sat back with a sigh, unsure of whether she had heard anything he’d just said.
“I told you. I can be whatever I want. I’m not what you would exactly call human, Lia. I’m one of the guards, the keepers of the streets.”
Lia had to look at him. She couldn’t help it. She was terrified he was going to turn into something else and she didn’t want to be caught be surprise.
“Where do you come from? Where do you live? What do you want with me?”
“I don’t know where I come from. I’ve just always been like this. I think we just grow. Wherever there’s a vacant lot, an old alley, an abandoned factory, we just seem to sprout up. As to where I live, I live all over. It doesn’t matter. I might have a penthouse apartment, or I can live in a box under the expressway. I go where I’m needed.”
-------
How does this scene resolve tension? In the whole story, how does the scene maintain tension.
I think think this example is rather sophisticated in that there is a kind of step-by-step or continuing surprise. IOW, the revelation above could have been a 'show stopper,' a place where the readers says, "OH, that explains everything." But it is not; it's a step along the way.
How has the good dr managed to use the revelation to set the stage for later action and surprise? Does he succeed?
{Added: below I have raised the related porn-erotica question as regards the tension issue.}
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