Dear Clowns

[lolaluscious]

Yeah for some reason I get the wrath of PM's from people who think I am pompous or that my humor crosses lines. Oh well. I just wanted to make clear that Alzheimers is no laughing matter unless you want to play memory tricks on them

Lola, I am glad you smile at this nonsense Thank you for keeping the thread alive and I am glad I can make you smile. Your questions crack me up so the pleasure is two-fold.

Oh humour that doesn't nudge boundaries isn't doing its job IMO. Most people with loved ones with Alzheimers would appreciate the humour, it helps to normalize the situation.

Practice hitting the 'ignore' button... *nods*

X

 

[IhateClowns]

Oh humour that doesn't nudge boundaries isn't doing its job IMO. Most people with loved ones with Alzheimers would appreciate the humour, it helps to normalize the situation.

Practice hitting the 'ignore' button... *nods*

X

LOL I have been hitting the ignore button often enough lately as i am sure othershave with me. I agree with the humor aspect of serious situations. There is a time and place for it, but if you cant find the humor in something even as tragic as Alzheimers or any other debilitating disease then their quality of life is already shot.

We made my Grandmother smile numerous times with our silliness. Now did she know who are what she was smiling about? I have no clue, but the smile she had on her face those times were priceless and I believe somewhere in there she knew what was going on.

 

[kendra1980]

Dear Clowns,

Just why is it that men hate asking for directions, or even asking how to find things like lightbulbs in the local store?

What do they think will happen if they do?

~Just wondering

 

[availableslave2u]

Yeah for some reason I get the wrath of PM's from people who think I am pompous or that my humor crosses lines. Oh well. I just wanted to make clear that Alzheimers is no laughing matter unless you want to play memory tricks on them

dear clowns,
i'm so sorry if i set you up for problems. if people want to be upset, they should be upset with me. i'm the one who originally said it.

it's just me though. it's how i deal with any difficult situation. i put some humor in it. i have to or i'd cry (which i still do sometimes). i understand that alzheimer's is no laughing matter and i am not making fun of people who have it or trivializing what care givers go through. i am a full time care giver for my mother and i know how stressful it can be.

mom is happy and as healthy as she can be. we enjoy laughter together and she knows that i love her and i'm taking good care of her.

sorry all, no offense intended. please don't direct any hate at clowns.
as2u

 

[call_me_Melody]

Dear Clowns...

Can you tell me why I feel compelled to clean the house before my cleaning lady comes over when the whole point is to ensure that I spend my energy on other things?

Signed,
Counterproductive

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

Dear Clowns
How do I stop my pervy coworker from looking at mah melons?

 

[lolaluscious]

Dear Clowns...

Can you tell me why I feel compelled to clean the house before my cleaning lady comes over when the whole point is to ensure that I spend my energy on other things?

Signed,
Counterproductive

Oh good question, a problem that also troubles me - I eagerly await the response to this one. It causes quite a bit of household 'tension'.

CP2

 

[reachedme]

dear clown
why do avatars turn me on when most don't show faces or even real people

 

[IhateClowns]

dear clowns,
i'm so sorry if i set you up for problems. if people want to be upset, they should be upset with me. i'm the one who originally said it.

it's just me though. it's how i deal with any difficult situation. i put some humor in it. i have to or i'd cry (which i still do sometimes). i understand that alzheimer's is no laughing matter and i am not making fun of people who have it or trivializing what care givers go through. i am a full time care giver for my mother and i know how stressful it can be.

mom is happy and as healthy as she can be. we enjoy laughter together and she knows that i love her and i'm taking good care of her.

sorry all, no offense intended. please don't direct any hate at clowns.
as2u

Oh stop. You never cause problems with me. It is just a few people who don't really understand what is going on here. You and I deal with issues the same way. You have done nothing wrong

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

Just why is it that men hate asking for directions, or even asking how to find things like lightbulbs in the local store?

What do they think will happen if they do?

~Just wondering

Dear wondering,

There is a simple explanation for this. We don't want to lose our man card. We would rather walk into a wal-mart to look for one light bulb and come out with $350.00 worth of games, candy, movies and some lotion in 2 hours time then take 5 minutes to ask someone where a lightbulb is and proceed to folow them like a whipped dog to the place you looked over 10 times and just happened to miss it.

As for directions it is because no person can tell us how to get to a location better then we already know in our head. So what if a 10 minute drive takes 2 hours. We like to take the scenic route. We are never lost we are just trying different ways to get to the same location. Some use maps, others shoot those people who use maps.

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns...

Can you tell me why I feel compelled to clean the house before my cleaning lady comes over when the whole point is to ensure that I spend my energy on other things?

Signed,
Counterproductive

Dear Counterproductive,

It is funny that you say that. Funny because you have no problem dangling your good bits over the shower rod for anyone else to see. Funy because you leave the trash can full of your bloody monthly gauzes for anyone else to see. Yet when your maid comes over you feel the need to tidy up a bit.

You shouldn't. That is what a maid is for. To clean your crap. in and only clean up the things you are not embarassed for her to see. If I had a maid (a married joke could go here right now, but I won;'t say it. No I won't) I would make sure that my toilet grew a goatee everytime prior to her coming over. I would make sure the towel that lies beside my bed for happy times is not able to lie there at all rather stand on end so she has to make an ugh face and try and pick it up delicately between the tips of her forefinger and thumb.

That is the difference between men and women. You give a fuck we don't. I don't care if she see my skid marked undies. I don't care if she sees a bottle of lotion on my nightstand with a little lotion dangling from the tip to show it was recently used.

You guys do. I am not sure why. So what i suggest is get in touch with your masculine side prior to the maid coming over next time. Watch Roadhouse and Blood Sport. That way when it comes time to clean you will say fuck it and go play the Wii.

Bottomline is there is no reason to tidy up. You know you are a slob. She knows you are a slob or you wouldnt have hired her in the first place. Quit covering up for yourself and accept who you are. Once you learn to love your true self and accept the slob in you the quicker you will have to find a new maid because the one you have now won't put up with that shit.

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns
How do I stop my pervy coworker from looking at mah melons?

Dear Selfish Melon keeper,

Where would you rather have them stare? Your eyes? You know how creepy it is to have someone stare directly into your eyes without flinching while you try and tell them about a report you are working on? You will end up feeling like you have some of the cake batter you licked off of the mixer still on your chin. You will start feeling self conscious that he isn't staring at your melons.

So I say embrace it. Allow men to stare at your melons as much as they want. It just might help you get that raise you have been passed over for the last 5 years

 

[IhateClowns]

dear clown
why do avatars turn me on when most don't show faces or even real people

Dear Turned on,

See AVs have the opposite effect on me then they do on you. Especially cock avs. I don't need coffee stirrers staring me straight in the face first thing in the morning when I log on. I suppose you do.

Now there are a few Avs on here that certainly turn my fancy, but I highly doubt we look at the same ones. I would say you are turned on because this is a sae way to stare at the genatalia of men and women without getting slapped. Problem is that more then half of these Avs are not of the people who have them.

I am sure there are quite a few guys on here that have female names and av pictures. That pretty girl you are chatting with is probably some 340lb man with tits bigger then my wife's who is eating a chili dog and sipping a lurpee telling you how much his clit tingles when yo say that.

So be aware. That cock you are looking at so deliciously is probably fake and he is over compensating for that mealworm in a nest that he has going on for himself.

I notice you do not have an av. Is that because you choose not to or haven't found that perfect angle to take a pic of yourself so that no one sees the faults. I ask only because no one has seen me from the neck down. I have a normal size head but the rest of me is shaped like a coke can. My ass is so big I get shit stains on my collar. The back of my legs look like they are eating there way to my ass.

So make sure whatever av you choose it is of your best attributes. Apparently a lot of males on here feel their best attributes are the very close up shot of their baby bird.

 

[ivantheterrible]

dear i hate funny lookin painted up people,

two questions. why is it every time someone contacts me by pm, and we talk a bit, i ask for a pic with a newspaper involved with the days date on it. and i do not hear from them anymore.

also, why do cat food and dog food makers make the food sound so yummy? the dogs and cats can't read and could care less.

 

[Rikki_13]

dear i hate funny lookin painted up people,

two questions. why is it every time someone contacts me by pm, and we talk a bit, i ask for a pic with a newspaper involved with the days date on it. and i do not hear from them anymore.

also, why do cat food and dog food makers make the food sound so yummy? the dogs and cats can't read and could care less.

Maybe they dont get a newspaper like me?

Clowns,

Why do guys that are not having sex with a woman and are not even close to having sex with her, but would like to fuck her, think it is ok to grab a woman's tits or ass?

Keep your hands to yourself

 

[IhateClowns]

dear i hate funny lookin painted up people,

two questions. why is it every time someone contacts me by pm, and we talk a bit, i ask for a pic with a newspaper involved with the days date on it. and i do not hear from them anymore.

also, why do cat food and dog food makers make the food sound so yummy? the dogs and cats can't read and could care less.

Dear double question,

Let us tackle the first issue. I applaud your efforts to verify the people who you are chatting with by asking them to provide a newspaper with todays date with a picture of themselves. Might as well ask for a blood sample, the last 4 of their SSN and a finger print.

I think you might be asking for a bit too much to verify who they are. Now don't get me wrong I understand why you are doing this. See question above. Too many creepy guys playing female roles on the internet. Maybe just ask if they have a cam and could turn it on briefly to verify who they are. Do you provide a picture with the todays date on it when you send pics out?

I have a better question. Who actually reads the newspaper anymore? Between the internet TV and Iphone or Itouch apps there is no need to worry if the print is getting all over your fingers or clothes. The problem is that silly putty will never make a comeback now.

Here is a question to ask your potential cyber buddy. Ask her a speciic female question. What kind of pill do you take? Does your period smell like a penny? Things that only a woman would know. Good luck.

 

[IhateClowns]

dear i hate funny lookin painted up people,

two questions. why is it every time someone contacts me by pm, and we talk a bit, i ask for a pic with a newspaper involved with the days date on it. and i do not hear from them anymore.

also, why do cat food and dog food makers make the food sound so yummy? the dogs and cats can't read and could care less.

Dear double question,

Ok now the secon question is a great one. The reason is because animals can read and talk. They do reason and understand. Haven't you read farside at all? The cows talk to each other, but whe they see a car coming they immediately go back to eating grass until the car passes.

It is the same for dogs and cats. Hell they have a move coming out in the next week or so about cats and dogs talking and working together. So the directors of these commercials are actually talking to the animals. You hear Morris th cat speak. The dogs usually bark. We have wondered why it is because they are talking directly to our animals.

Also i don't care how they dress up cat food it will always smell like shit...

 

[IhateClowns]

Maybe they dont get a newspaper like me?

Clowns,

Why do guys that are not having sex with a woman and are not even close to having sex with her, but would like to fuck her, think it is ok to grab a woman's tits or ass?

Keep your hands to yourself

Dear not touchy feely,

I have never grabbed a woman's ass unintentionally. Never without some sort of permission or drug involved that has kncker her unconscious. So i will have to say you are talking to the wrong guys. You are hanging out with the wrong fellas dear.

You need to go to church and find a good young man who will keep his hands on his bible and off of your devilish parts. Someone who will keep your spirit pure until you are ready for him to grab your tits and ass.

 

[IhateClowns]

1000 views in 2 days ain't too shabby. If newspapers were prevelant now-a-days then I think i would have a job. My timing is always off.

 

[Rikki_13]

Dear not touchy feely,

I have never grabbed a woman's ass unintentionally. Never without some sort of permission or drug involved that has kncker her unconscious. So i will have to say you are talking to the wrong guys. You are hanging out with the wrong fellas dear.

You need to go to church and find a good young man who will keep his hands on his bible and off of your devilish parts. Someone who will keep your spirit pure until you are ready for him to grab your tits and ass.

I think you know that I am more touchy feely than that!!! Just dont like someone thinking it is a-ok to be grabbing on me. I would say that i should grab him back, but hell, all men would be turned on by that. Unless they have a really small dick that they are trying not to let anybody know that. Maybe thats why he does, because he has a small dick and realizes that i will never willingly let him grab my tits?

 

[IhateClowns]

I think you know that I am more touchy feely than that!!! Just dont like someone thinking it is a-ok to be grabbing on me. I would say that i should grab him back, but hell, all men would be turned on by that. Unless they have a really small dick that they are trying not to let anybody know that. Maybe thats why he does, because he has a small dick and realizes that i will never willingly let him grab my tits?

So you have seen his dick with him touching you tit? Doesn't seem fair unless you were playing strip poker.

 

[Rikki_13]

So you have seen his dick with him touching you tit? Doesn't seem fair unless you were playing strip poker.

nah, just grasping at straws on why he would be such an idiot.

IF someone is playing a video game and shoots everything in the ass do you think that means they are sadist or they just have an ass fetish?

 

[IhateClowns]

nah, just grasping at straws on why he would be such an idiot.

IF someone is playing a video game and shoots everything in the ass do you think that means they are sadist or they just have an ass fetish?

They are far from a sadist. That is the same reason why nut shots are so funny on America's Funniest Home Videos. I don't think it is a fetish as much as it is a immature fun thing to do.

 

[Rikki_13]

They are far from a sadist. That is the same reason why nut shots are so funny on America's Funniest Home Videos. I don't think it is a fetish as much as it is a immature fun thing to do.

They are way too serious about it!!! Not the "hey look I just shot that dude in the ass, lol" I dont think they have had a kill shot yet that wasnt through the ass...

 

[IhateClowns]

They are way too serious about it!!! Not the "hey look I just shot that dude in the ass, lol" I dont think they have had a kill shot yet that wasnt through the ass...

Oh i know they are serious about it. Have you hung out with a group of guys? God forbid you get drunk and pass out around your friends if you are a guy. You will wake up with some body part shaved that doesnt deserve to be.

So we find ass shots funny. We point it out to each other. When someone farts and say they did we dont leave until after we have smelled it. So shooting someone in the ass makes the game more fun.