Dear Clowns

[kendra1980]

LOL really? So you came to this thread for actual advice? I apologize if my reputation on this forum doesn't procede me. I tend to be sarcastic and I tend to make fun of stuff. Although i appreciate you taking the time to post the question you posted on here, it is probably best you guys don't anymore if you are concerned with me answering the questions by making fun of the situations. Thanks again for playing

I love your sarcasm, and of course we weren't here for actual advice, silly man.

We are here for fun.

 

[IhateClowns]

I love your sarcasm, and of course we weren't here for actual advice, silly man.

We are here for fun.

Good I am glad we got that cleared up Thanks again for playing but this thread is for poking fun at situations. By saying what I said it wasn't about offending you and Nat.

All is good and I appreciate you explaining what you meant.

 

[IhateClowns]

It is not our fav bullshit artist and if it was, he would most definitely be getting an education on eating pussy or he would just go home with bite marks on his dick

Then by all means go for it. Go let loose and have fun you silly goose

 

[RyanBlack]

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM


hey clowns are you liscensed to practice pseudo therapy????




hiya handsome

 

[IhateClowns]

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM


hey clowns are you liscensed to practice pseudo therapy????




hiya handsome

Dear Stranger,

Are you questioning my credentials? I received my Psychlogy Degree at Career Point Instititute. I was top of my class and gave the commencement address at the local VFW where we had our graduation ceremony.

Hope all is well and glad to see you back

 

[availableslave2u]

dear clowns,
do you really think a man should seek immediate attention for an erection lasting more than four hours?
curious about boners

 

[BradBigBrain]

dear clowns,
do you really think a man should seek immediate attention for an erection lasting more than four hours?
curious about boners

Follow up...

The immediate attention for 4 hour boners? Should that be neighbors and friends?

Or doctors?

Asking for a friend, of course.

 

[mulehead61]

Dear Clowns,

Shouldn't grown men over 300 pounds not wear sleeveless shirts with massive underarm hair sticking out in a family restaurant?? And what about men wearing flip flops to same said restaurant???

Kinda Grossed Out

 

[kendra1980]

Dear Clowns,

Shouldn't grown men over 300 pounds not wear sleeveless shirts with massive underarm hair sticking out in a family restaurant?? And what about men wearing flip flops to same said restaurant???

Kinda Grossed Out

I'd like to know about this one too. Good question mulehead!

 

[IhateClowns]

dear clowns,
do you really think a man should seek immediate attention for an erection lasting more than four hours?
curious about boners

Follow up...

The immediate attention for 4 hour boners? Should that be neighbors and friends?

Or doctors?

Asking for a friend, of course.

Dear Worrying about boners,

First off the 4 hour boner is a a myth. Kind of like Bigfoot or a Chicago Cubs World Series Ring. They just don't exist. The idea that a penis, by the way you cannot say penis without happiness could stay rigid for 4 hours is just ludicrous.

Take mine for instance. Sure I become erect from time to time. When I receive questions in the mail I sometimes just sit in the pile of letter in nothing but my whitey tighties and I become aroused. My erections usually only last about 4 minutes then I ejaculate and have to change my undies.

Let's discuss this Urban Legend as if it does exist. Let us all pray that the poor sap is wearing loose pants. If he is in jeans then by God yes get him to a doctor as he is going to have a rough day. Can you imagine facing the nurse though. I mean you head to the emergency room for something like that because I am sure the last thing you want to face is your family practitioner who you see on a regular basis. So now you have to sit in an ER with some man to your right who is hacking up a lung and a woman to your left who has a bone poking out of her arm and smells like zima and marlboros.

Then 2 more hours later, so now your at 6 hours the nurse calls you back to get your blood pressure done and take your temp all the while your cock head is straining against your levis like just before the BP disaster. And why? Because you wanted to make sure you were able to keep your dick hard for more then 5 minutes? Once again no man thinks of the woman first so this 4 hour erection is definately a myth.

Now to answer your question as to whether you should seek help from neighbors and friends it really depends on what your neighbors and friends look like. My neighbors are all very old and unattractive so it just might work. Take Mrs. Chambers to the left of me she can kill a hard-on in no time flat. Just get her talking about her roses bushes and I am sure you will deflate in no time.

If you have a hot friend that is willing to take a ride on a cok that has been hard for 4 hours in hopes of relieving it make sure she wears eye protection because I am sure that the cock is like a shaken coke can at that point and when it is time to ejaculate it will be like a fire house. I wouldn't want anyone going to jail due to permanently blinding someone with their semen.

I hope this helps you and your "friend" Remember until you see a 4 hour erection on TMZ then it truly doesn't exist.

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

Shouldn't grown men over 300 pounds not wear sleeveless shirts with massive underarm hair sticking out in a family restaurant?? And what about men wearing flip flops to same said restaurant???

Kinda Grossed Out

Dear grossed out,

Fat men need food to. Hell they need a lot more food then we do. Now let me ask you this. What kind of establishment is this place? If it is a buffet or seafood place where they have to work to get their food then by all means they should go sleeveless.

What is more disgusting for you? A sleeveless fat man with hairy shoulders or a fat man that is sweating so terribly while he tries to eat his 6 th plate of fried chicken, that his shirt has changed colors just in the minimal time you guys have been there?

As for the flip-flops I am sure fat guys have fat feet and well trying to get a fat foot into a shoe must be pretty damn difficult. Plus then they have to try and bend over to tie their shoe lace. Ever seen a large man try to tie his shoe laces? You better not be in a hurry because you are going to be there a while.

So my advice to you is to eat at higher end, non-buffet eateries. Places that they would have to pay for each plate of food they eat. You are more assured that you will be eating with similarly clothed folks who are fully dressed just like yourself.

 

[availableslave2u]

dear clowns,
do you think it's wrong for me not to wear underwear?
love to feel the wind blow

 

[IhateClowns]

dear clowns,
do you think it's wrong for me not to wear underwear?
love to feel the wind blow

Dear commando,

I don't feel it is wrong for you not to wear underwear. I am sure it can be very constricting and may cause smegma to form around the lips of your vagina due to the extreme heat we have been experiencing as of late. I think no women should wear any underwear right now so we can stop this smegma epidemic that is running rampant in our country.

There is a catch however. If yout toddler tunnel whistles when the wind blows that can be distracting to the person you are trying to eat lunch with. If you are out on the patio eating a sandwich and everytime a gust shoots through your meat curtains and your pussy whistles the tune to Bonanza then it might be a good idea to wear some panties of some sort.

They can be breathable panties. Maybe made of a mesh material to stop the smegma from getting to rampant. Also realize when not wearing panties that if you are wearing a short skirt and your lips are hanging out the bottom as if someone is blowing a kiss to the ground then it might be a good idea to buy your pussy lips some suspenders. Something you can attach to a chain around your waist.

I applaud you for going sans panties now-a-days. With the bird flu, swine flu and other types of diseases running around that can climp up your thigh and bury themselves inside you vagina I think it is admirable that you say "fuck you" to all of that and do it anyway. God bless you Madam.

 

[lolaluscious]

*oh my, this thread makes me smile*

Dear Clowns,

My boss is old and eccentric, and lately has been insisting on one-to-one meetings with me. I have noticed he won't look me in the eye and instead is obsessed with my breasts. I don't wear particularly low cut tops but I'm not a nun. Should I confront him or continue to indulge his breast eccentricity?

D Cup

 

[IhateClowns]

*oh my, this thread makes me smile*

Dear Clowns,

My boss is old and eccentric, and lately has been insisting on one-to-one meetings with me. I have noticed he won't look me in the eye and instead is obsessed with my breasts. I don't wear particularly low cut tops but I'm not a nun. Should I confront him or continue to indulge his breast eccentricity?

D Cup

Dear D cup,

By all means let the man indulge his fantasies. Hell wear even lower cut shirts to work. He is old. He doesn't have much else to live for and will die soon. Wouldn't you want him to die with a smile on his face? He already can't wipe his own ass so a little boob stare is such an excitement for him.

Now let me ask you this. Are you sure he is staring at your boobs? Old people have glaucoma, cataracts. Many eye diseases that cause their sight to become less and less over their years. Maybe he thinks he is staring at your eyes and just doesn't know better.

Does he lick his lips when he talks to you? If so then yeah he wants to see your tits. As for one on one time why not? He is old. You can take him if he gets a little out of line. Bring in a recorder to be safe. When he asks what is that you tell him it is a tissue holder. He won't have a clue what it is. Old people don't know technology. Ask my mother in law how to start the DVD player on her TV and you will be there an hour as she hits every button on the remote and stares at the screen like a deer in the headlights waiting for Romancing the Stone to start. All the while the TV is still on skin-a-max and she is in actuality watch soft core porn but she just doesn't know it.

So give in. Let the guy see your tits through a shirt. He will be dead soon and then you will have to start al over with a new perverted male boss. At least with this one you know he is old and you can take him down if need be.

 

[RyanBlack]

Dear Stranger,

Are you questioning my credentials? I received my Psychlogy Degree at Career Point Instititute. I was top of my class and gave the commencement address at the local VFW where we had our graduation ceremony.

Hope all is well and glad to see you back

Dear Even Stranger than Most,

Far be if from me to question your credentials, In lieu of questioning them, perhaps moving straight to waterboarding them would be best. If all else fails there is always making a collage.

While in some circles a psudoschitzopsychoticology degree from CPI might be considered worth as much as the enhanced bounty it is undoubtedly printed on, I say nay! and NAY again!!! Why should we allow the vaguries of academics and accreditions inpinge upon your impalement of the ethical bulwarks of what is at best a marginalized progressive through regressive and depressive tendencies and co dependant attachment disorders.

I commend you for your class ranking as the numero uno and commend all of you for the environmental conscience exhibited by your ride to the VFW in the volkswagon rabbit along with yoru loved ones. Surely it is an example in good social conscience for the rest of us to emulate. As to the round of drinks that you bought being the source of repeated standing ovations---well I poo poo that along with the Devry school of philosophical sophistry and theose with Graduate degrees in Solipsistical analysis--even though they failed to show up for their degrees.

I encourage you to expand your horizons and reach out to those in need -- the saying about th eone eyed man has never been so true your majesty.

 

[janeyl]

Dear Clowns,

Could I possibly hijack your thread for a second to give the man above me a great big girly have missed him booby smooshing til he alomost suffocates hug?

regards

Quality brit babe

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

Could I possibly hijack your thread for a second to give the man above me a great big girly have missed him booby smooshing til he alomost suffocates hug?

regards

Quality brit babe

Dear quality Brit,

I was going to do the same thing but your boobs are so much better then mine as you can see:



So by all means hijack away

 

[RyanBlack]

Dear Clowns,

Could I possibly hijack your thread for a second to give the man above me a great big girly have missed him booby smooshing til he alomost suffocates hug?

regards

Quality brit babe

Dear Lucious Boobed Brit Babe,



I did wave to all you brits whilst there---alas duty called and I must return to these wayward colonies.

Warmest breathless mammary mauled regards ma'am

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Even Stranger than Most,

Far be if from me to question your credentials, In lieu of questioning them, perhaps moving straight to waterboarding them would be best. If all else fails there is always making a collage.

While in some circles a psudoschitzopsychoticology degree from CPI might be considered worth as much as the enhanced bounty it is undoubtedly printed on, I say nay! and NAY again!!! Why should we allow the vaguries of academics and accreditions inpinge upon your impalement of the ethical bulwarks of what is at best a marginalized progressive through regressive and depressive tendencies and co dependant attachment disorders.

I commend you for your class ranking as the numero uno and commend all of you for the environmental conscience exhibited by your ride to the VFW in the volkswagon rabbit along with yoru loved ones. Surely it is an example in good social conscience for the rest of us to emulate. As to the round of drinks that you bought being the source of repeated standing ovations---well I poo poo that along with the Devry school of philosophical sophistry and theose with Graduate degrees in Solipsistical analysis--even though they failed to show up for their degrees.

I encourage you to expand your horizons and reach out to those in need -- the saying about th eone eyed man has never been so true your majesty.

Dear smarter then me,

I am guzzling down box after box after box of HoneyComb cereal boxes in hopes of getting enough UPC codes to get that decoder ring they talk about on the back of the box. Once it has arrived I will be more then happy to answer this letter.

Until then I will store it in my sock drawer for safe keeping.

 

[ivantheterrible]

i didn't know whether to laugh or throw up a bit in my mouth. in regards to IHC pic.

 

[RyanBlack]

Dear smarter then me,

I am guzzling down box after box after box of HoneyComb cereal boxes in hopes of getting enough UPC codes to get that decoder ring they talk about on the back of the box. Once it has arrived I will be more then happy to answer this letter.

Until then I will store it in my sock drawer for safe keeping.

Dear Crunching Counselor---

I suspect that sock drawer is made up mostly of single socks, and am pleased to be placed amongst such a display of your amorous desires.

As to the UPC decoder ring -- Id advise against it---just play it backwards very slowly on your eye pod in order to hear the secret message redarding announcements of my premature demise.

Obscurely Yours

 

[IhateClowns]

i didn't know whether to laugh or throw up a bit in my mouth. in regards to IHC pic.

You can wash out that throw up with some of my tit milk if you wish...just lemme know if you need me to squeeze you a glass

 

[janeyl]

Dear quality Brit,

I was going to do the same thing but your boobs are so much better then mine as you can see:



So by all means hijack away

But your hair is purty...all of it

 

[janeyl]

Dear Crunching Counselor---

I suspect that sock drawer is made up mostly of single socks, and am pleased to be placed amongst such a display of your amorous desires.

As to the UPC decoder ring -- Id advise against it---just play it backwards very slowly on your eye pod in order to hear the secret message redarding announcements of my premature demise.

Obscurely Yours

Don't mention socks when GA's around and alone in a hotel room...just sayin'

he only goes for the single ones