Could someone make this more erotic please 2 parts

Sprinklegenie

Virgin
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Nov 30, 2017
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A husband and wife named Alex and Mia. They were a loving couple who shared an unusual secret—a fantasy list of celebrities they would be allowed to spend a night with if the opportunity arose. Alex’s list was filled with the likes of Blake Lively, Emma Watson, and Scarlett Johansson, while Mia’s included Brad Pitt, Denzel Washington, and a local football player named Lucas.

One evening, Alex and Mia decided to go for a night out to their favorite pub to enjoy some quality time together. As they sat at the bar, sipping on their drinks, Mia’s heart skipped a beat when she spotted Lucas across the room. She couldn’t believe her luck—the football player from her list was right there in the same pub!

Unable to contain her excitement, Mia approached Lucas and struck up a conversation. To her surprise, he was friendly and engaging, and they found themselves talking for hours. As the night wore on, the connection between Mia and Lucas grew stronger, and she couldn’t resist the chemistry that seemed to ignite between them.

Meanwhile, Alex noticed the intense interaction between his wife and Lucas from across the room. He felt a mixture of emotions—jealousy, hurt, and confusion. He couldn’t believe that Mia was actually living out a fantasy right in front of him. He pleaded with Mia to reconsider, his eyes filled with tears as he expressed his feelings of betrayal.

But Mia, caught up in the moment and driven by desire, decided to use her “hall pass” on Lucas. She invited him to come back to their home, leaving Alex in disbelief and heartbreak. As the night progressed, Mia and Lucas spent hours together, sharing laughs and forging a connection that went beyond her initial fantasies.

The next morning, Mia returned home, her heart heavy with guilt. She found Alex sitting on the couch, his face stained with tears. The reality of what had happened hit both of them like a tidal wave, tearing at the fabric of their marriage. The trust they had built over the years seemed to have shattered in just one night.

As they sat down to talk, the painful truth came pouring out. Mia realized the gravity of her actions and the hurt she had caused Alex. Through tearful conversations and long nights of reflection, they faced the consequences of their choices head-on. It was a difficult road ahead, but they both acknowledged the need to rebuild their relationship from the ground up—learning to communicate, forgive, and heal.
 
Making this scenario erotic, as opposed to tragic, is beyond my meagre writing abilities.

Hall passes are a dumb idea. I’ve referred to them before, but only in joking. How to destroy a relationship.

Em
 
It's a word-for-word repeat of a post from a few weeks ago.

Huh. Yeah, looks like they've posted the same thing four times now across Story Feedback, Editor's Forum, and here. (One of those deleted, assuming the content was the same as the other three.)

From earlier posts, seems they were looking for a story they remembered reading, and when they couldn't find it, bunged the description into AI and then kept asking people to fix it.
 
I don't get what's wrong with it as it currently is. Mmmmfg hot. The bit where her heart skips a bit... wow. And the fact that she has two homes, too. ChatGPT can do me anytime.
 
I think the only way that could be sexied up is if instead of her feeling like shit, it lit a fire, she rushed home, found him crying, held his face, told him she didn't take the hallpass because it reminded her how much she loved him, kisses his lips, his tears, pushed him down on the couch and fucked his sorrow away.
 
I think the only way that could be sexied up is…
Not creative enough.

How about Mia and Lucas get abducted by aliens, who force feminize Lucas, and make Mia turn him into her personal fuck-toy. Then they are teleported back to Alex, who ass-fucks Lucas, while he [Lucas] is dressed as a French Maid, and Mia watches and masturbates.

It’s the scenario most obviously suggested by the material.

Em
 
Not creative enough.

How about Mia and Lucas get abducted by aliens, who force feminize Lucas, and make Mia turn him into her personal fuck-toy. Then they are teleported back to Alex, who ass-fucks Lucas, while he [Lucas] is dressed as a French Maid, and Mia watches and masturbates.

It’s the scenario most obviously suggested by the material.

Em
Now that's kinda hot.
But come on... No tentacles?
 
Not creative enough.

How about Mia and Lucas get abducted by aliens, who force feminize Lucas, and make Mia turn him into her personal fuck-toy. Then they are teleported back to Alex, who ass-fucks Lucas, while he [Lucas] is dressed as a French Maid, and Mia watches and masturbates.

It’s the scenario most obviously suggested by the material.

Em
I think you've nailed it.
 
Not creative enough.

How about Mia and Lucas get abducted by aliens, who force feminize Lucas, and make Mia turn him into her personal fuck-toy. Then they are teleported back to Alex, who ass-fucks Lucas, while he [Lucas] is dressed as a French Maid, and Mia watches and masturbates.

It’s the scenario most obviously suggested by the material.

Em
working title: you've got a frenulum in me
 
working title: you've got a frenulum in me
Now I have had to speak to you about this issue before, haven’t I?

alzolanskii.gif


Em
 
Not creative enough.

How about Mia and Lucas get abducted by aliens, who force feminize Lucas, and make Mia turn him into her personal fuck-toy. Then they are teleported back to Alex, who ass-fucks Lucas, while he [Lucas] is dressed as a French Maid, and Mia watches and masturbates.

It’s the scenario most obviously suggested by the material.

Em
Only you. lmao
 
Force feminization is a bit like a force choke, but with more lace panties involved.

These are not the boxers you are looking for… that’s right, the red thong.

Em
I honestly don't know how I feel about it. Sometimes the idea turns me on, sometimes it doesn't. I guess it depends on my state of mind. I found an old non-com story I started years ago that I'm finishing for this profile and it has it in it. I've also often thought about wanting to be a woman. In my normal mind I have an issue with people being forced to do things against their will.
 
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