Could someone make this more erotic please 2 parts

[Sprinklegenie]

The plot notion falls over with Lucas. He's hardly the A-List celebrity, like the other names mentioned.

I reckon I'm with @Bramblethorn with this one, AI generated.

Not AI

I read a story similar to this years ago and have not been able to find it.
I just want to add some sexy words and make it more erotic. Not much of a writer.
But love the story line.
And yes he is not a celebrity that’s what’s made it exciting, because it is someone she finds sexy and achievable.

 

[Sprinklegenie]

You love me this way, hun .

Em

Not AI

I read a story similar to this years ago and have not been able to find it.
I just want to add some sexy words and make it more erotic. Not much of a writer.
But love the story line.
And yes he is not a celebrity that’s what’s made it exciting, because it is someone she finds sexy and achievable.

Happy for you to help me rewrite it??

 

[Sprinklegenie]

I think the only way that could be sexied up is if instead of her feeling like shit, it lit a fire, she rushed home, found him crying, held his face, told him she didn't take the hallpass because it reminded her how much she loved him, kisses his lips, his tears, pushed him down on the couch and fucked his sorrow away.

Nah

Not AI

I read a story similar to this years ago and have not been able to find it.
I just want to add some sexy words and make it more erotic. Not much of a writer.
But love the story line.
And yes he is not a celebrity that’s what’s made it exciting, because it is someone she finds sexy and achievable.

Happy for you to help me rewrite it??

 

[Sprinklegenie]

Huh. Yeah, looks like they've posted the same thing four times now across Story Feedback, Editor's Forum, and here. (One of those deleted, assuming the content was the same as the other three.)

From earlier posts, seems they were looking for a story they remembered reading, and when they couldn't find it, bunged the description into AI and then kept asking people to fix it.

Not AI

I read a story similar to this years ago and have not been able to find it.
I just want to add some sexy words and make it more erotic. Not much of a writer.
But love the story line.
And yes he is not a celebrity that’s what’s made it exciting, because it is someone she finds sexy and achievable.

Happy for you to help me rewrite it??

 

[EmilyMiller]

Not AI

I read a story similar to this years ago and have not been able to find it.
I just want to add some sexy words and make it more erotic. Not much of a writer.
But love the story line.
And yes he is not a celebrity that’s what’s made it exciting, because it is someone she finds sexy and achievable.

Happy for you to help me rewrite it??

Huh?

Emily

 

[AlexBailey]

Alexa has an alt on Lit.

 

[SimonDoom]

More AI. That's the ticket.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Happy for you to help me rewrite it??

I barely have time to write my own ideas at the moment, alas.

 

[M_K_Babalon]

Huh?

Emily

Exactly. Maybe they're the A.I.trying to trick us. Like that old South Park episode where that girl was a living advertisement. They're among us now.

 

[onehitwanda]

new theory: Springlegenie is Roko's Basilisk

 

[djrip]

Not AI

I read a story similar to this years ago and have not been able to find it.
I just want to add some sexy words and make it more erotic. Not much of a writer.
But love the story line.
And yes he is not a celebrity that’s what’s made it exciting, because it is someone she finds sexy and achievable.

Happy for you to help me rewrite it??

It sounds a hell of a lot like February Sucks. Also you don't need to say the same thing to four different people; we can all see all of the replies.

 

[jhealy55]

Hey! Sounds great. Glad to help. You are very close to having a story here. Just need a few things up front to get us started.

Can you give us:

-Brief character sketch of the two MC's. Roughly 500-750 each that describe who they are, how they look, what motivates them, occupation, age, location, level of education, family background, quirks, fetishes, hobbies, etc.

-750 word conversation where their "lists" were first developed. How did the subject come up? Was there a limit on number of names, veto options, etc. Please make it as realistic and flowing as you can so we get a real sense of the 'voice' of each character. Are they shy? funny? clever? prone to lame puns? excessive cursing? etc.

-750 word character sketch of the footballer. looks, personality, what about him put him on the short list for her. what made him irresistably desirable?

-750-1000 words each to describe the two settings: the pub & their home and how each character travels between the two settings. Did they drive, take a cab, stagger down the block and around the corner?

-Please develop a concise timeline of all the elements you want to include in the final story. Can be bullet points. Think of them like scenes. Ex.-
Travel to the pub> flashback to when they first made their lists> introduction of the footballer>etc., etc.

-Please describe in detail where are you looking to have the characters end up at the conclusion. heartbroken? broken up? madly in love/lust? open to swinging? planning a threesome with the football player? forcing the husband to watch the encounter that she filmed with her phone? arranging for him to watch the next encounter? him running into a willing celebrity from his list?

-Please clear up the issue about when she gets home. Did she take the other man there directly or somewhere else as she can't arrive later to find the husband emotionally distraught if she's been there the whole time.

I will likely have 3-4 more requests once you've posted these basics on this thread. But this should get us started. Let's see what other blanks pop up after you post these and we'll keep filling in the rest as we go.

Please note that I've had one story series hanging for an embarrassingly long time, have a half dozen other stories I'm still working through and have been struggling to find additional time to write my own stuff. This will have to take a back seat to my own efforts, but glad to help if you're willing to do most of the heavy lifting to get us up and running.

I'm really excited, but you should note that I am also prone to wordy sarcasm, even if in the end, I am sincerely motivated to assist others as they develop their own writing ability & voice. Particularly through the concept to outline stage of story development. It's always gratifying to assist them in understanding how much work is involved in developing a story, before they are ready to start connecting all the dots and then polishing up the result for submission. Never get tired of explaining that process in detail to someone who is struggling to get started. I assume everyone in AH is an author at heart, even if they are still finding their feet and haven't submitted their first effort for publication.

If any of this is a problem, please know that you won't hurt my feelings if you choose to go with another collaborator.

 

[AlexBailey]

If Alexa and Ciri both had Lit alts I wonder if they would connect for erotic chats.

 

[onehitwanda]

Ciri

uh...

 

[BobbyBrandt]

A husband and wife named Alex and Mia. They were a loving couple who shared an unusual secret—a fantasy list of celebrities they would be allowed to spend a night with if the opportunity arose. Alex’s list was filled with the likes of Blake Lively, Emma Watson, and Scarlett Johansson, while Mia’s included Brad Pitt, Denzel Washington, and a local football player named Lucas.

One evening, Alex and Mia decided to go for a night out to their favorite pub to enjoy some quality time together. As they sat at the bar, sipping on their drinks, Mia’s heart skipped a beat when she spotted Lucas across the room. She couldn’t believe her luck—the football player from her list was right there in the same pub!

Unable to contain her excitement, Mia approached Lucas and struck up a conversation. To her surprise, he was friendly and engaging, and they found themselves talking for hours. As the night wore on, the connection between Mia and Lucas grew stronger, and she couldn’t resist the chemistry that seemed to ignite between them.

Meanwhile, Alex noticed the intense interaction between his wife and Lucas from across the room. He felt a mixture of emotions—jealousy, hurt, and confusion. He couldn’t believe that Mia was actually living out a fantasy right in front of him. He pleaded with Mia to reconsider, his eyes filled with tears as he expressed his feelings of betrayal.

But Mia, caught up in the moment and driven by desire, decided to use her “hall pass” on Lucas. She invited him to come back to their home, leaving Alex in disbelief and heartbreak. As the night progressed, Mia and Lucas spent hours together, sharing laughs and forging a connection that went beyond her initial fantasies.

The next morning, Mia returned home, her heart heavy with guilt. She found Alex sitting on the couch, his face stained with tears. The reality of what had happened hit both of them like a tidal wave, tearing at the fabric of their marriage. The trust they had built over the years seemed to have shattered in just one night.

As they sat down to talk, the painful truth came pouring out. Mia realized the gravity of her actions and the hurt she had caused Alex. Through tearful conversations and long nights of reflection, they faced the consequences of their choices head-on. It was a difficult road ahead, but they both acknowledged the need to rebuild their relationship from the ground up—learning to communicate, forgive, and heal.

From a quick search, I see that there are at least 956 variations on this story theme as told originally by George Anderson