Clever offer for sex that went completely over my head

[Caroline1961]

Shortly after I started working for the local paper part time in the plant I won't say it was an open season to engage in sexual adventures, but the atmosphere was casual and few if any women complained if teasing or offers of sex were made. We either laughed them off, or if enticed explored where the invitation might lead.

I was on second shift starting at 3:00PM and ending when the papers were out the doors, usually around 28+/- a week, Sunday-Thursday.

On a Thursday after a shift where the press broke down and a long night into the wee hours of the morning I wanted nothing more than to get out of there and get a shower and sleep. I had punched my card and was on my out the door when a familiar male voice behind me called out, ''Hey Caroline! Wanna go out for a sperm cocktail?''

What was being offered went completely over my head and I simply turned and answered, ''Not tonight! I'm going home to bed! I've had it for the night!'' And continued to my car, my mind not grasping what my co-worker had just offered. It didn't hit me until I was on the highway home when I said to myself, ''That fucker wanted me to give him a blow-job! There's no bars open now!'' I laughed, ''A sperm cocktail! He's original!''

Anybody ever completely miss an offer of sex where the invitation went over your head at the time?

 

[Hipshot1554]

Yes, when I was younger. Probably missed a few.

 

[twister947]

Yep. I'm embarrassingly dense when it comes to women.

 

[womaneater58]

I've had a few go over my head only to realize after it was too late what she had said.

 

[RipleNStllWtr]

3 times in my life.

1. An older couple me and my buddy met at a bar invited us back to their house for drinks. Well heck we drank until about 6 am and then realized. Thus wasn't about drinks but by then we all started to pass out. Wasn't till later we made sense of the evening.

2. Home alone and 2 of my female coworkers showed up out of the blue, both very drunk and dress up to impress. They wanted me to go out with then and have fun. One of the ladies was a smoking hot blond that was just plain sexy, the other one was the mom next door type but she was a sexual freak and had already given me a blow job in the car on our drive to work. She had a roller ball on her tongue ring for just this purpose. She wasn't allowed to drive her car to the job site so I was stuck driving her back and forth. I didn't mind this task but damn sure screwed that one evening up.

3. Last but not least at all, a hostess at my work was the tall skinny type, beautiful face. She had me wrapped around her finger and I enjoyed it. I had given her a ride home a few times after work, nothing ever happened. She had a boyfriend. I found out she had another part job at a local strip club and one night she calls me up asking me to come to the club and pick her and her boyfriend up and drive them home. Her BF was a little dude, and kind of fem to be honest. She was begging me to help and every telling me I could stay the night and her BF was crazy cool with the idea. My mind at the time wasn't playing ball this way and I wasn't interested so I did my own thing.

I regret each and every one of these moments and looking back, I would do them all very differently and I would of been a "Why Yes, I would Love to" instead of Nope.

 

[Pliantjoed]

When I first started my job right out of college I had this older lady living in the first floor apartment under mine. When I would get home for work at normal hours I never saw her but if I got home later in the evening, after 9pm she would be outside on her patio having a drink. We would often just say hi to eachother. One day she was all dressed up, the girls were showing through her top. She was a glass or two in. She invited me over for a drink.

I agreed and we had 3 or 4 drinks, I was 25, she was a 55 yo divorcee. She would talk about how long she had been divorced, she hasn’t had a man in a while, how things are different and how I was her daughters age. I just always thought she was trying to set me up with her daughter. I never once thought she was hitting on me until after I moved out and went back to pick up my last items. She mentioned something about that night and how disappointed she was that we didn’t end up as FWB. I think her words were, “I had every intention of fucking your brains out”

She was stunning and I kick myself just thinking about how awesome that experience might have been.

 

[stiv837]

When I was between marriages in my late twenties, the married woman who lived across the street would invite me over to eat when her husband was at work. She would tell me she made to much food and her family could never eat all of it. I never went because I always had something that seemed more important than going to eat a families leftovers.
Much later I found out from another neighbor that she mainly invited me because she wanted to fuck me. She told him this when he was going to visit her to eat her leftovers. Thirty years later I'm still mad at myself for being to stupid to take advantage of the situation.

 

[gran_pron]

Yep. I'm embarrassingly dense when it comes to women.

same.
My current wife was renting in a student house and I used visit to stay over on occasion.
She was out to attend classes when one of the other girls (a real stunner) staying there complimented me about a shirt I was wearing. Stating she had a very similar one asking if I wanted to go to her room and check it myself.
I was clueless and simply replied, no thanks, I am waiting for my girlfriend.
Still feel equally good and bad about my answer

 

[ericrodman101]

Often missed them when I was younger. I travelled widely before College and older guys were always inviting me to stay. Of course it was for sex, and maybe my subconscious was keeping me safe. But I missed out on a lot of free accommodation and a lot of fucking.

 

[tristantrotsky]

Shortly after I started working for the local paper part time in the plant I won't say it was an open season to engage in sexual adventures, but the atmosphere was casual and few if any women complained if teasing or offers of sex were made. We either laughed them off, or if enticed explored where the invitation might lead.

I was on second shift starting at 3:00PM and ending when the papers were out the doors, usually around 28+/- a week, Sunday-Thursday.

On a Thursday after a shift where the press broke down and a long night into the wee hours of the morning I wanted nothing more than to get out of there and get a shower and sleep. I had punched my card and was on my out the door when a familiar male voice behind me called out, ''Hey Caroline! Wanna go out for a sperm cocktail?''

What was being offered went completely over my head and I simply turned and answered, ''Not tonight! I'm going home to bed! I've had it for the night!'' And continued to my car, my mind not grasping what my co-worker had just offered. It didn't hit me until I was on the highway home when I said to myself, ''That fucker wanted me to give him a blow-job! There's no bars open now!'' I laughed, ''A sperm cocktail! He's original!''

Anybody ever completely miss an offer of sex where the invitation went over your head at the time?

Technically, a cocktail is a blend of flavours.
So a sperm cocktail would involve more than just one man donating.
I've enjoyed a number of sperm cocktails in my time...

 

[Mtnmike]

Shortly after I started working for the local paper part time in the plant I won't say it was an open season to engage in sexual adventures, but the atmosphere was casual and few if any women complained if teasing or offers of sex were made. We either laughed them off, or if enticed explored where the invitation might lead.

I was on second shift starting at 3:00PM and ending when the papers were out the doors, usually around 28+/- a week, Sunday-Thursday.

On a Thursday after a shift where the press broke down and a long night into the wee hours of the morning I wanted nothing more than to get out of there and get a shower and sleep. I had punched my card and was on my out the door when a familiar male voice behind me called out, ''Hey Caroline! Wanna go out for a sperm cocktail?''

What was being offered went completely over my head and I simply turned and answered, ''Not tonight! I'm going home to bed! I've had it for the night!'' And continued to my car, my mind not grasping what my co-worker had just offered. It didn't hit me until I was on the highway home when I said to myself, ''That fucker wanted me to give him a blow-job! There's no bars open now!'' I laughed, ''A sperm cocktail! He's original!''

Anybody ever completely miss an offer of sex where the invitation went over your head at the time?

All the time, so i've learned with age.

 

[Caroline1961]

Don't worry, I still get a little thick myself.

 

[the_single_gal_unconfidential]

Shortly after I started working for the local paper part time in the plant I won't say it was an open season to engage in sexual adventures, but the atmosphere was casual and few if any women complained if teasing or offers of sex were made. We either laughed them off, or if enticed explored where the invitation might lead.

I was on second shift starting at 3:00PM and ending when the papers were out the doors, usually around 28+/- a week, Sunday-Thursday.

On a Thursday after a shift where the press broke down and a long night into the wee hours of the morning I wanted nothing more than to get out of there and get a shower and sleep. I had punched my card and was on my out the door when a familiar male voice behind me called out, ''Hey Caroline! Wanna go out for a sperm cocktail?''

What was being offered went completely over my head and I simply turned and answered, ''Not tonight! I'm going home to bed! I've had it for the night!'' And continued to my car, my mind not grasping what my co-worker had just offered. It didn't hit me until I was on the highway home when I said to myself, ''That fucker wanted me to give him a blow-job! There's no bars open now!'' I laughed, ''A sperm cocktail! He's original!''

Anybody ever completely miss an offer of sex where the invitation went over your head at the time?

of course I don't know about him in particular - but random acts of kindness like that can be really rewarding.
then there's the work thing - people talking.
I've done the work thing, but it was just before I was leaving.

 

[Caroline1961]

of course I don't know about him in particular - but random acts of kindness like that can be really rewarding.
then there's the work thing - people talking.
I've done the work thing, but it was just before I was leaving.

It didn't sink into my mind at the time that this guy was using a clever method to ask for a blow-job. A few miles into my drive home it finally struck me.

I did have sex with two men who worked there, but not while we both worked there. One guy was 14 years prior, before either of us worked there, and the other was also before I started.

 

[Bbl87]

Well, if I have missed any then I've REALLY missed them because I can't think of any off hand.

I did have a client the other day mention several times that her husband is gone alot for work (it did make sense in the context of the discussion, but she repeated it a couple times to the point I noticed it). Part of me wondered if she meant something, but really I think it was just nervousness. Who knows...

 

[Mtnmike]

Don't worry, I still get a little thick myself.

I understand, I always thought they were just being friendly, never had anyone growing up to teach me what to look or listen for. O well, it is what it is, can't go back in time.

 

[Caroline1961]

I understand, I always thought they were just being friendly, never had anyone growing up to teach me what to look or listen for. O well, it is what it is, can't go back in time.

Actually, had I ''gotten'' his meaning, my response would have been awkward at best!

 

[Mtnmike]

Actually, had I ''gotten'' his meaning, my response would have been awkward at best!

I hear you, I'm the same.

 

[Caroline1961]

Sex was the farthest thing from my mind at the time, I was just trying to get out of there. Offering a, ''sperm cocktail'' was original, and thankfully way above my head at the time! I would have had no idea how to reply to that!

 

[Bbl87]

Sex was the farthest thing from my mind at the time, I was just trying to get out of there. Offering a, ''sperm cocktail'' was original, and thankfully way above my head at the time! I would have had no idea how to reply to that!

Well I can think of ONE way to reply to it.

 

[Cabooseluvr]

Absolutely missed a million in my lifetime!

 

[Caroline1961]

Well I can think of ONE way to reply to it.

And just what would that entail?

 

[Cabooseluvr]

I was going out of town for a week and asked a female neighbor to keep an eye on my cat ( yes I had a cat). That’s another story!
Anyway, I went to slip my apartment key under her door on my way out headed to the airport and my cat escaped down they hall. So I ran in hot pursuit to catch him, and I caught him at her door. I slid my key in an envelope under her door and immediately the door opens. As I look up she is standing there in sheer panties and I can see her pussy lips and her bush neatly groomed. Now my cat is weaving in and out of her legs as I am trying to gather myself and capture him. I told her what happened and she never tried to cover up for what seemed like an eternity because I was in shock and late for the airport! I took my cat back to my apartment and left for the airport. There have been a million times I have wondered….. did I miss an opportunity? That is just one of sexual fumbles!!

 

[Bbl87]

And just what would that entail?

Well, going for a sperm cocktail of course.

Not saying you should have, just saying it's one reply.

 

[Caroline1961]

Well, going for a sperm cocktail of course.

Not saying you should have, just saying it's one reply.

Yes, had it sank in that moment, I could have said, ''Okay!'' then made him work through seduction for it I guess.