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bfg's hideout

just_e said:
She's going to want you to sweep ALL of the spiders out ;)
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animated-spider-gif-13.gif
 
*sits on the front porch rocking and contemplating, tears rolling down my cheeks*

I was okay until someone reminded me it was Wednesday, which means tomorrow is Thursday. I've been hyper-sensative recently. You'd think 12 years would ease things, and it has in a way, but never completely. I still miss him.

This year is worse. Our little brother is gone now, too. It's not even been two months since that day. Now I have to go and be mommy and get through this week, but my heart is broken.
 
barefootgirl69 said:
This my hideout, so I can say whatever I want. I might be here quite a bit this weekend...the next four or five days, actually. Not only is the ex coming over to spend the weekend with the kids (yes, he stays upstairs - might as well let them see him because once we move to CA, he won't be making too much effort to see them - I know him well) Anyway.

Maybe it's a good thing he will be here, as it will give me some time to be alone. We're coming up on the tenth anniversary of my brother's death, and I'm already a wreck. I've been crying off an on since the middle of April, and all I can think of is how much I hate May. My parents are going back to Kentucky for the week, and staying with my little brother. It's hard enough loosing my best friend, my almost twin, I cannot imagine losing my son.

Maybe I just feel guilty, because that was a hard year for me. My son was born in October, and he was the only reason I had stayed with my husband. I had gone down to Kentucky in January to see my brothers, and I was upset with my SIL for her lifestyle. I didn't even want to see her! Three weeks later, she died in a horrible car accident on her way to get drugs. On my tenth anniversary. My brother, of course, was devastated. He had been working out of town and wasn't around. What a mess that time was for everyone.

One weekend in May, I felt this prodding to call him...and I pushed it aside thinking I was too busy, and that I would call him Wednesday afternoon before church. Everyday I felt that prodding, and every day I pushed it aside. Except, Wednesday afternoon didn't get there. Time stopped for my brother sometime during the morning hours as he slept and his heart simply stopped beating. No, he didn't have a disease. No, he didn't overdose of drugs. Nothing could be found for why it happened. It.just.did.

I've heard that sometimes grief does that. I suppose he was so upset by her death, that he simply didn't want to live - but, then why was he making plans for move to California? I don't have any answers.

You know that was hard, but when my little brother was in an accident almost three years later, I panicked. I knew my mother couldn't handle losing another child, but I think she was stronger than me...because I couldn't handle losing another brother. The doctor's say he's a miracle to still be alive, I thank God he is. He's paralyzed from the chest down, but he's still alive to talk our ears off.

Why am I going on about this now? This morning my oldest brother was in an accident with a Bull Elk, and it's only by the grace of God that they are still alive. He had to have surgery to get the glass out of his eyes, but he's alive.

I guess I should remember to count my blessings, right?
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So much has changed since this post. It's just me and my oldest brother now, who makes me laugh when he says he's the golden child.

Never ever let a day pass when someone is on your mind. Message, or call, send smoke signals, do whatever you've got to do to let them know you care.
 
barefootgirl69 said:
So much has changed since this post. It's just me and my oldest brother now, who makes me laugh when he says he's the golden child.

Never ever let a day pass when someone is on your mind. Message, or call, send smoke signals, do whatever you've got to do to let them know you care.
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Massive Hugs BFG any time you need to chat just give me a nudge
:heart: :) :rose: :heart:
 
barefootgirl69 said:
So much has changed since this post. It's just me and my oldest brother now, who makes me laugh when he says he's the golden child.

Never ever let a day pass when someone is on your mind. Message, or call, send smoke signals, do whatever you've got to do to let them know you care.
Click to expand...

^^^^^^^^^^^^^This :heart:
((((((((Hugs))))))) BFG, I Hope you are well. :rose:
 
barefootgirl69 said:
So much has changed since this post. It's just me and my oldest brother now, who makes me laugh when he says he's the golden child.

Never ever let a day pass when someone is on your mind. Message, or call, send smoke signals, do whatever you've got to do to let them know you care.
Click to expand...

Sending hugs ((((())))) :heart:
 
barefootgirl69 said:
*sits on the front porch rocking and contemplating, tears rolling down my cheeks*

I was okay until someone reminded me it was Wednesday, which means tomorrow is Thursday. I've been hyper-sensative recently. You'd think 12 years would ease things, and it has in a way, but never completely. I still miss him.

This year is worse. Our little brother is gone now, too. It's not even been two months since that day. Now I have to go and be mommy and get through this week, but my heart is broken.
Click to expand...

*Hugs* :heart::heart:
 
Texting with my older brother about their move to another state. I don't blame them, but STILL... I am not quite sure that I'm happy for them. It's a little upsetting, especially with Mom having a hard time these days. She needs to cry and grieve over my younger brother's death and losing her eyesight more each day... but she won't let it flow. She stops it and gets mad. I know this move will set her back even more.

So, then I started scrolling through my conversations in text and see my little brother's name. He stopped being my little brother when he was 14 actually. But, *shrugs*. I sent him a message in February because I was shopping and couldn't call.

I just wanted him to know that I loved him.
I hope he knew.
 
Haven't come to visit you for Ages Barefoot Princess so I thought I stop in tonight and say Hi:) hope your doing well ;)
 
Papa-Joe said:
Haven't come to visit you for Ages Barefoot Princess so I thought I stop in tonight and say Hi:) hope your doing well ;)
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Hi, PJ! I'm doing much better, thank you!

I finished my story, it's being edited now. I still have the one on hold, because I was invited by another author to write a story that needs to be done end of October. :eek:

How have you been?

:rose:
 
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barefootgirl69 said:
Hi, PJ! I'm doing much better, thank you!

I finished my story, it's being edited now. I still have the one on hold, because I was invited by another author to write a story that needs to be done end of October. :eek:

How have you been?

:rose:
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I managed to get back in here and say Hi -Iam doing fine thanks but always busy with Work:(-hows your Story coming;)
 
Papa-Joe said:
I managed to get back in here and say Hi -Iam doing fine thanks but always busy with Work:(-hows your Story coming;)
Click to expand...

It's posted! The link is in my signature block.

Is it any cooler up there in those northern reaches? Are you ready for snow, yet? :D
 
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