Better Riding Positions & First time pain?

[kidsinlovee]

Hey guys, I didn't want to make two threads, so I just combined both questions in one.

A) I just recently became sexually active with my boyfriend. (Woohoo! ) I really enjoy riding him, and I knew he does to, but I get so into my head and worried about pleasing him that it starts ruining the moment for me. I think the problem stems from it being difficult and not really knowing what I'm doing. We're both a bit overweight and it doesn't leave me with much maneuvering room, lol. If you've ever run into this, is there a better position that will help? And also any tips on what I'm -actually- supposed to be doing. XD I've also heard that the guys can get injured from this... >.>

B) Lately, the pain at first has been worse than the first time we had sex. I have a high pain tolerance and I know it'll go away, so it's not interfering terribly yet, but I don't understand why it keeps happening. He's rather thick, but after four long sessions, I thought the pain would have gone away? But sometimes I have to stop him completely because it gets bad. We do get kind of rough. Is this normal?

Thank you for any help!

 

[Sugartitties]

I think I can answer your first issue. My husband and I recently ( I am talking over the last 4 months) lost 72 pounds between us, and let me tell you, it has made such a difference in the bedroom. We have more stamina and flexibility than we've seen in years.

For now, just get into a rhythm that is comfortable for you. Let him adjust to your speed. I find the slower I go, the more I can relax and let any worries I have go.

 

[Aphro]

What kind of pain are we talking about? The sort of chafing pain caused by not enough lubrication, or a more internal pain from him maybe hitting your cervix?

If it is the former, the fix is simple...buy a good lube and use it. Don't ever let things down there get so dry you start chafing and getting sore.

If it's the latter, you need to find another position that works better with your combined anatomies. Personally, I can have pain issues at different times during the month depending on how low my cervix is. I have a retroverted, or "tipped" uterus, which makes it necessary to be a little creative at certain times. Sometimes he can pound me pretty hard and it's no problemo, at other times...nope, not so much. At those times positions like doggy style are pretty much out of the question because it is just too painful for me.

Maybe try lying with your butt near the end of the bed, and him standing? That way he can control the depth of penetration more easily, and no one is lying on anyone else putting weight on them.

As for you being on top, try doing it on the floor as opposed to on the bed. It's easier on the firm floor to get up on your knees higher and control the movement than if you are sinking into a soft mattress. Squatting over him is also an option (and great leg strenghthening exercise, too, by the way...)

As for what you are actually supposed to be doing, well, whatever feels good to you! Porn always shows the woman on top position with her hopping up and down on the guy's dick like she's on a pogo stick. If I am on top, I don't particularly want to jump up and down on it, I prefer to sit right down hard on him and kind of grind myself on him, so the penis is rubbing inside deep, and I press my clit on his pubic bone. More of a back and forth motion than an in and out one. But, that's just me. Do whatever floats your boat. As for injuring the guy, I would imagine you could if you were INCREDIBLY active and over-zealous with your movements. In 25 years of sex, I have yet to "break" anyone though, so I'd not dwell on that aspect, personally.

As for worrying so much about pleasing him it gets in the way of your pleasure...honey, just the fact you are fucking him has probably tipped his fun-o-meter way into the stratosphere. Don't overthink it. As your sexual relationship develops, you will discover what you each like/don't like. Talk, talk, talk...communicate! I'm sure he wants you to have a good time as much as you want him to enjoy it.

 

[cleo1291]

I agree completely. I've had the same trouble with certain positions and angles almost always being too sensitive to do unless we've been having sex for a long period of time...you could just need a different angle. Be creative! One position that I've found is pretty easy, and it's very chill on the pain level, is what me and my bf affectionately call the "Lazy Position". It worked great for a friend of mine that was struggling with endometriosis (condition where scar tissue in the lady parts makes sex extremely painful). Basically you lay on your stomach and let him enter you from behind, though you are still laying down. So it should be similar to Doggie Style, but you are not on your knees, you are laying on your stomach still. This is more of an upward angle going parallel to your tailbone rather than pounding directly on your cervix.... and it feels great!! It also give you a little security bc he can't access as much depth as in different positions, so it really depends on how deep YOU want him to go by lifting your ass and letting him in more. And, pretty much everyone looks great from that angle, so feel confident girl And as for pleasing him, I wouldn't worry about it toooooo much...practice makes perfect right?

 

[nfrrdscnnr1]

the greatest

The one single greatest, most arousing thing you can do for you guy is get yourself aroused and off as many times as possible. It may require some help in the form of therapy to get rid of the worry about him but it will pay off BIG TIME for both of you if you increase your pleasure. I KNOW we are supposed to care for and do for the other person in these deals but believe me, your greatest gift to him is getting you passion to the top.

 

[BurningMonkey]

^^^What he said! ^^^

As a man, I find absolutely nothing more arousing and exciting than to watch my woman cum. And the more she does, the hotter I get.

The biggest turn-off (and it makes Mr. Stiff into Mr. Limp, actually) is realizing that she's not enjoying it.

So forget him girl, and go for your own gold. Believe me, he'll enjoy it much more that way.

 

[kidsinlovee]

Thank you for all the advice guys I feel a little better about riding him now.

Hopefully the weird pain will go away soon!

 

[TheSilverLining]

Thank you for all the advice guys I feel a little better about riding him now.

Hopefully the weird pain will go away soon!

With regards the 'weird pain', I'm going to suggest going to see your doctor if it persists. (Apologies if it's already been mentioned, and I've missed it)

Any sort of weird pain during or following intercourse - especially if associated with bleeding which I know you've not mentioned - is worth getting checked out.

Obviously, you mention that you're new to this and I agree with what others have said about the benefits of lube if the pain is localised and more to do with friction or vaginal irritation. It could be that it's just something completely normal that will go away as your body becomes accustomed to sex.

Have you had a look to make sure that there isn't a small tear, or that the skin isn't broken? I've seen women where they've experienced lots of discomfort during sex and it transpired that the reason was something along these lines that never managed to heal properly due to repeated 'stimulation' too soon.

Could also be psychological, especially if you're concerned about things - your body will tense-up. But I know this has been mentioned.
I also agree about the hormonal influences. When I'm ovulating I know I can just about tip my cervix, which obviously makes certain positions verrrry uncomfortable. I mean each to their own, and I'msure some women love having their cervix pounded - but I am not one of them. *shrug*

Give yourself time, be kind to yourself and relax.