Best Seller Openings

[lovecraft68]

Abigail, yours truly.

Melanie was scared. Rudy and his four friends had been playing cards and drinking for the last hour, and even in her room, she could hear them yelling and carrying on. When Rudy was drunk, he liked to fight. Then he liked to fuck.

Rudy’s idea of fighting was to slap her around for a while before he took her hard, sometimes so hard that for the next couple of days she would cry in pain when the johns fucked her.

She swallowed, wincing at the taste of the last john who’d left just before his friends had arrived. She wanted to go to the bathroom and rinse her mouth out, but was afraid to let Rudy see her. The last time he’d had a friend over, he’d made her blow both of them, and further humiliated her by making her lick his cum from the floor. When she’d refused, he’d hit her in the stomach so hard she’d thought she was going to die.

 

[lovecraft68]

Jeez I hated writing that opening and what followed, but it was all worth it when Rudy meets his demise.

Finally she turned to Rudy, and forcefully thrust the blood and shit-smeared knife into the air. When it burned clean, it gleamed in the golden firelight. In one quick move, she severed his cock, but the blade was so hot that it cauterized the gory stump so he couldn’t bleed out. She knelt down in front of him, and stared into his tormented face.

“You’re mine now, bitch,” she whispered, and burned his nipple off with her fingertip. He opened his mouth to scream, but she shoved her fingers into his mouth, captured his tongue, ripped it partway out, and severed it.

She killed him with agonizing slowness. Every blistering burn, every vicious gash fueled her passion. His anguished squeals and screams made the blood hum through her veins.

The fate every rapist deserves. I should post that in Loving wives some day.

 

[EverLux]

Finally she turned to Rudy, and forcefully thrust the blood and shit-smeared knife into the air.

...Do I want to know how the knife got shit on it?

 

[jomar]

I'm certainly no Robert Crais/Lee Child/Raymond Chandler, but I did write a series that still makes me laugh, though I'm more than willing to accept it's just me. Starts like this...

"Yeah, I fucked her. The cunt living in the double-wide next door, the one with the deck facing mine. Fuck I care she was married. I fucked her skank friend too. They both wanted it. Didn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out."

Took over a year before the third and fourth chapters of the above were written and that was in response to some AH revenge challenge.

Then also back in the AH day of my time we had a nice writers contest on openings...a couple hundred words or so to grab the reader...was fun...anonymous submissions critiqued by participants for a winner.

 

[lovecraft68]

...Do I want to know how the knife got shit on it?

Umm....most likely not, he was saved for last, she killed four others while he watched.

 

[EverLux]

Umm....most likely not, he was saved for last, she killed four others while he watched.

Killed them in the ass!

 

[lovecraft68]

Killed them in the ass!

Oh yeah. they were hanging upside down and...well....

I have another piece of shit guy gets his in my "Every Dog has its day" a beer bottle forced into his mouth and a knife up his ass.

What can I say, I have serious issues with certain types of men.

 

[EverLux]

What can I say, I have serious issues with certain types of men.

It's good that you work those issues out in words on a computer, instead of with actual scalding-hot, shit-stained knives. Your therapist should be proud.

 

[lovecraft68]

It's good that you work those issues out in words on a computer, instead of with actual scalding-hot, shit-stained knives. Your therapist should be proud.

Yup, writing, a punching bag and sparring once a week, keeps the "Rudy's' in my area safe

 

[EverLux]

Yup, writing, a punching bag and sparring once a week, keeps the "Rudy's' in my area safe

Remind me to avoid your area, then.

 

[Bramblethorn]

It was the day my grandmother exploded. I sat in the crematorium, listening to my Uncle Hamish quietly snoring in harmony to Bach's Mass in B Minor, and I reflected that it always seemed to be death that drew me back to Gallanach.

But really, most anybody can write a clickbait hook. Just allude to something dramatic or bizarre, and don't explain it properly:

"I want you to murder me," said my boss, "and it has to be painful."

If you've ever been to Newcastle, you'll have heard the locals talking about the day it snowed blue. Want to know what really happened?

I bought a pig, to protect myself against ghosts.

etc. etc. etc.

Curiosity does the rest. That's not challenging; the hard part is living up to that promise, so the readers who got hooked don't come away feeling like they wasted their time.

 

[TxRad]

It was the day my grandmother exploded. I sat in the crematorium, listening to my Uncle Hamish quietly snoring in harmony to Bach's Mass in B Minor, and I reflected that it always seemed to be death that drew me back to Gallanach.

But really, most anybody can write a clickbait hook. Just allude to something dramatic or bizarre, and don't explain it properly:



Curiosity does the rest. That's not challenging; the hard part is living up to that promise, so the readers who got hooked don't come away feeling like they wasted their time.

Pretty much what i said but better since it has examples.

 

[lovecraft68]

Remind me to avoid your area, then.

I live in RI, who comes here anyway?

 

[MellowGem]

...............

 

[NOIRTRASH]

http://alchemyofwriting.blogspot.com/2011/03/what-is-function-of-story-opening.html

Informative

 

[NOIRTRASH]

What I see is how writers like Stephen King rarely improve their wares after they create a menu most love. McDonalds best fries were back 50 years ago. Ditto its Fish Filet. Later fries and filets were inferior to the originals. Like Kings writing.

The great fallacy of life is DIFFERENT IS BETTER, whereas real better is as rare as new prime numbers. If you cant do better, stop.

 

[TxRad]

Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one.

And yours have that new car smell.

 

[MellowGem]

................

 

[NOIRTRASH]

How do they cover up fucking in used cars? They smell the same.

You need a better used car dealer. Pour a pan full of charcoal, put it in the car with windows up and out in the Sun for a day. The charcoal absorbs all the odors. Then fill the car with one of the canned aerosol scents, and let soak in. Works well inside trailers after the tenants leave.

 

[MellowGem]

.........................

 

[TxRad]

You need a better used car dealer. Pour a pan full of charcoal, put it in the car with windows up and out in the Sun for a day. The charcoal absorbs all the odors. Then fill the car with one of the canned aerosol scents, and let soak in. Works well inside trailers after the tenants leave.[/QUOTE)

So you've lived in a lot of trailers, did your own renovations.

No, he was a used car salesman.

 

[EverLux]

I live in RI, who comes here anyway?

A seriously hot friend of mine just moved there permanently... and is freakishly excited about it. I guess RI really is a magnet for the weird. I'd say 'present company excluded,' but you're on Lit, so that's probably not the case.

Your states has thirty-ish percent fewer people than my city, so you're bound to run into her

 

[Bramblethorn]

Edit: That was harsh, forgive me ... I blame being kicked in the balls today at a crosswalk when helping to fetch an old balloon.

Those balloons can be vicious if you rile 'em.

 

[lovecraft68]

A seriously hot friend of mine just moved there permanently... and is freakishly excited about it. I guess RI really is a magnet for the weird. I'd say 'present company excluded,' but you're on Lit, so that's probably not the case.

Your states has thirty-ish percent fewer people than my city, so you're bound to run into her

RI's population is going downhill to the point we are going to lose a state rep in a couple years because its based on population

And RI has more than its share of weird, strong gothic/emo presence and Brown university blesses us with spoiled rotten little rich kids who strive to be 'different'

But there are a lot of haunted locations, myths, witchcraft and oddballs here, especially if you know where to look.

What city is she moving to?