SteamyChik
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2001
- Posts
- 371
The Switch
I think ya'll have hit the concept perfectly in several ways. One is that people want it confirmed that their way is best. If they can't switch, they don't want other's too either - or isn't the ability not to switch a weakness of sorts? On the other hand, as a sub, in the beginning, I wanted to be with dominant's that were fulltime doms. If they switched, they felt more like peers and I could not relate to them as doms afterwards. The same is true for the doms. When someone switches, it's hard to relate to them because their roles change.
When you are at a party and one time a person is a dom, accorded all the domly adoration, and the next time they are a sub and you are peers getting in trouble together - well, it just sends a confusing message. It's not a bad message, but it is hard to adjust from one time to the next and this may be where some of the confusion and non-tolerance comes from.
Now that I've been around (no comments please!) I enjoy the switches (of the people sort heh!). It doesn't bother me the way it use to. Maybe it's because I'm more relaxed with myself and comfortable in making my own definitions. When people start out learning, they usually migrate strongly to one side or the other and don't want to muddy the water until they figure out just what it all means. I have no idea if I'm making sense or not .
About subs topping
No, I'm not talking about whipped cream, although we could . I'm talking about when a subs is made to, or enjoys topping. I have topped on occassion and at first it did make me very uncomfortable. I felt that topping was wrong for me because I was doing something that "doms" do. Now, I enjoy it! I have to be in the right frame of mind, and it has to be the right peson - but I enjoy giving to my sub friends the feelings and sinsations that I enjoy. I don't look at it as topping as much as playing together. And, when my Master and I play with someone together - that is really awesome! Can't wait for tonight because ... well never mind! But I just can't WAIT!
I think for a sub to top, they have to be very secure in themselves and realize that topping is another form of submission - giving pleasure and pleasing. Kinda like cats. Everyone knows that you own the cat but everyone also knows that you do everything for the cat and the cat does very little for you. Who owns who?
Flash cotton
Fire play is not for everyone that's for sure. It's a bit edgy. If you ever get a chance to sample though - go for it. Just a teensy bit in your hand and WHOOOF, gone in the blink of an eye but it looks so cool and feels better.
Wax
I have never understood how I can love getting cut with a knive, lashed with a single-tail, flogged with a cat but I can't stand hot wax. Goes to show that everyone is a wuss with something . I hate hot wax play. It hurts. Like little lava balls burning through my skin. Makes me go "ouch". Hahaha. Flash cotton? Sure! Fire play with torches? Sure! Wax - please nono nonono! I'll be good really I will!
I think ya'll have hit the concept perfectly in several ways. One is that people want it confirmed that their way is best. If they can't switch, they don't want other's too either - or isn't the ability not to switch a weakness of sorts? On the other hand, as a sub, in the beginning, I wanted to be with dominant's that were fulltime doms. If they switched, they felt more like peers and I could not relate to them as doms afterwards. The same is true for the doms. When someone switches, it's hard to relate to them because their roles change.
When you are at a party and one time a person is a dom, accorded all the domly adoration, and the next time they are a sub and you are peers getting in trouble together - well, it just sends a confusing message. It's not a bad message, but it is hard to adjust from one time to the next and this may be where some of the confusion and non-tolerance comes from.
Now that I've been around (no comments please!) I enjoy the switches (of the people sort heh!). It doesn't bother me the way it use to. Maybe it's because I'm more relaxed with myself and comfortable in making my own definitions. When people start out learning, they usually migrate strongly to one side or the other and don't want to muddy the water until they figure out just what it all means. I have no idea if I'm making sense or not .
About subs topping
No, I'm not talking about whipped cream, although we could . I'm talking about when a subs is made to, or enjoys topping. I have topped on occassion and at first it did make me very uncomfortable. I felt that topping was wrong for me because I was doing something that "doms" do. Now, I enjoy it! I have to be in the right frame of mind, and it has to be the right peson - but I enjoy giving to my sub friends the feelings and sinsations that I enjoy. I don't look at it as topping as much as playing together. And, when my Master and I play with someone together - that is really awesome! Can't wait for tonight because ... well never mind! But I just can't WAIT!
I think for a sub to top, they have to be very secure in themselves and realize that topping is another form of submission - giving pleasure and pleasing. Kinda like cats. Everyone knows that you own the cat but everyone also knows that you do everything for the cat and the cat does very little for you. Who owns who?
Flash cotton
Fire play is not for everyone that's for sure. It's a bit edgy. If you ever get a chance to sample though - go for it. Just a teensy bit in your hand and WHOOOF, gone in the blink of an eye but it looks so cool and feels better.
Wax
I have never understood how I can love getting cut with a knive, lashed with a single-tail, flogged with a cat but I can't stand hot wax. Goes to show that everyone is a wuss with something . I hate hot wax play. It hurts. Like little lava balls burning through my skin. Makes me go "ouch". Hahaha. Flash cotton? Sure! Fire play with torches? Sure! Wax - please nono nonono! I'll be good really I will!