Ask Doctor Liz!

[kcRollins]

Dear Freaked Out,

Actually, I've been wondering why you haven't updated me on your fun-bad lately. I had to put a frowny-face on your file last week.

That was a typo on the plywood. The $500 bill is the correct amount.

I've been trying to figure out a nice way to say this, but I can't so I'm just going to say it: your best friend is a total slut.

Although, I do think she has lovely taste in furniture.

Doctor "I Love How You Added A Personal Touch To The Room" Liz

You're a wise (crackin) woman, Dr. Liz and also a bit of a prevaricator.

I sensed my friend was a slut and that's why I didn't mind playing around with her boyfriend. When she learned we were messin' around she wasn't upset at all. As a matter of fact, she asked if she could join us. I said, "Why? Do we look like we're falling apart?" She just rolled her eyes. Needless to say she doesn't have much of a sense of humor.

Do you think we should let her get involved in our playtime?

Yours truly,

Confuzzled

 

[Apollo3000]

Hello Dr. Liz - world-renowned sex therapist guru

This weekend my girlfriend and I will indulging in a MMF - the other male is one of her regulars studs and I will be playing the cuckold part, although joining in later as she loves the feel of both holes filled - and getting cleaned up

From the female perspective, any tips you'd like to share on how to make this the best experience for her as I'm usually just watching or hearing about her sexcapades with other men as part of our relationship dynamic?

Thanks as always,
Cuckold Boyfriend

p.s. you know a little about Kel's fantasies so hopefully that should help

 

[DarkSimian]

maybe I need to check myself into Dr. Liz's inpatient treatment program...

 

[MagicaPractica]

Dear Doctor Liz,

What do you know about music therapy? I think the main character in my next story is going to be a music therapist.

Thanks,

MP

 

[LizVegas79]

You're a wise (crackin) woman, Dr. Liz and also a bit of a prevaricator.

I sensed my friend was a slut and that's why I didn't mind playing around with her boyfriend. When she learned we were messin' around she wasn't upset at all. As a matter of fact, she asked if she could join us. I said, "Why? Do we look like we're falling apart?" She just rolled her eyes. Needless to say she doesn't have much of a sense of humor.

Do you think we should let her get involved in our playtime?

Yours truly,

Confuzzled

Dear Confuzzled,

The fact that you said 'confuzzled' makes me hopelessly biased in your favor so any advice I give you from here on out is going to be a selfish attempt to get you into bed ... or pin you against a wall ... or corner you in a stairwell when the elevators at your office are "broken".

That being said, if you can't laugh in bed
(what is this a limerick? )
then she's no good. Without getting all country western on your sweet derrière, leave her at home, book an appointment and we'll work on your threeway technique.

Doctor "Hey I Have Needs Too" Liz

Hello Dr. Liz - world-renowned sex therapist guru

This weekend my girlfriend and I will indulging in a MMF - the other male is one of her regulars studs and I will be playing the cuckold part, although joining in later as she loves the feel of both holes filled - and getting cleaned up

From the female perspective, any tips you'd like to share on how to make this the best experience for her as I'm usually just watching or hearing about her sexcapades with other men as part of our relationship dynamic?

Thanks as always,
Cuckold Boyfriend

p.s. you know a little about Kel's fantasies so hopefully that should help

Dear Knows His Place And Likes It,

I do know a little about you. And Kel. You're file is quite thick in fact and I often enjoy reading it when business is slow and my husband is working late.

Anywho's, is this going to be her first MMF? You left that part blank in the mandatory patient questionnaire. (one of my assistants will pay for that omission with her creamy vanilla bottom I promise you! )

If it is, the Number One thing she has to do is relax. Taking a guy in your coochie and your pooper at the same time isn't easy. Even if they're both kind of small. God forbid if neither of them are on the small end and they're both into it and think you're even a little bit pretty! Then it's A LOT to handle!

However, for it to work she has to make both of you feel like pornstars because you'll probably be freaking out being naked in the same room with another guy. She needs to be sensitive to that - especially if you and the other guy aren't even a little bit bi.

There's a tremendous amount of pressure on the woman in MMF's!

If she wants a glass of Chardonnay while things are heating up, let her. If she wants FOUR glasses of Chardonnay while things are heating up let her (but don't you fuckers drink! don't!!!)

You guys have to make her feel like a rock star. You have to prove that you like her with your penises. If she starts to cry it's because you didn't make her feel safe and loved and sexier than Kate freakin' Upton.

NOTE: if she does start to cry you both have to stop. IMMEDIATELY!

(Worse case scenario you can jerk off and cum all over her later after you get her calmed down.)

The Number Two Rule for a Successful MMF is on you and your friend. You both have to make her feel like the sexiest, most un-resistable female on the planet. Otherwise she's going to feel like a dirty filthy slut - and not in a good way.

Doctor "Keep Me Informed So I Can Help You" Liz

 

[LizVegas79]

Dear Doctor Liz,

What do you know about music therapy? I think the main character in my next story is going to be a music therapist.

Thanks,

MP

Dear Magica,

I know that music often makes my panties fall off so I'm a big fan of music therapy!

I think if a music therapist were to work with a blind person, perhaps a blind person with really pretty lips and nice big love pillows like her first girlfriend had, well, I personally think that would be interesting.

Of course, if her patient was a guy, maybe a young guy with dirty blonde hair and great abs and a really big you know what that was as fat as my fist, well, that would be interesting too.

Doctor "Sometimes Fat Guys Don't Look Fat, But OMG They're So Fat!" Liz

 

[clearlight30]

Hi Dr Liz...
I have come EARLY for my appointment


Was wondering what I should be doing with all this extra energy that I find myself having this morning...

 

[LizVegas79]

Hi Dr Liz...
I have come EARLY for my appointment


Was wondering what I should be doing with all this extra energy that I find myself having this morning...

Dear Early Bird,

Being early has it's consequences too.

But you already knew that, didn't you?

Doctor "Early Doesn't Impress Me, Well ... Maybe A Little" Liz

 

[clearlight30]

Dear Early Bird,

Being early has it's consequences too.

But you already knew that, didn't you?

Doctor "Early Doesn't Impress Me, Well ... Maybe A Little" Liz

Just making sure i have extra time to be on your...ummm...couch

 

[Apollo3000]

Dear Knows His Place And Likes It,

I do know a little about you. And Kel. You're file is quite thick in fact and I often enjoy reading it when business is slow and my husband is working late.

Anywho's, is this going to be her first MMF? You left that part blank in the mandatory patient questionnaire. (one of my assistants will pay for that omission with her creamy vanilla bottom I promise you! )

If it is, the Number One thing she has to do is relax. Taking a guy in your coochie and your pooper at the same time isn't easy. Even if they're both kind of small. God forbid if neither of them are on the small end and they're both into it and think you're even a little bit pretty! Then it's A LOT to handle!

However, for it to work she has to make both of you feel like pornstars because you'll probably be freaking out being naked in the same room with another guy. She needs to be sensitive to that - especially if you and the other guy aren't even a little bit bi.

There's a tremendous amount of pressure on the woman in MMF's!

If she wants a glass of Chardonnay while things are heating up, let her. If she wants FOUR glasses of Chardonnay while things are heating up let her (but don't you fuckers drink! don't!!!)

You guys have to make her feel like a rock star. You have to prove that you like her with your penises. If she starts to cry it's because you didn't make her feel safe and loved and sexier than Kate freakin' Upton.

NOTE: if she does start to cry you both have to stop. IMMEDIATELY!

(Worse case scenario you can jerk off and cum all over her later after you get her calmed down.)

The Number Two Rule for a Successful MMF is on you and your friend. You both have to make her feel like the sexiest, most un-resistable female on the planet. Otherwise she's going to feel like a dirty filthy slut - and not in a good way.

Doctor "Keep Me Informed So I Can Help You" Liz

Thank you Dr. Liz for the great advice as always. It's not her first MMF but anyway we will make sure she's fully relaxed and she will definitely be the centre of our attention I'm taking her out to buy new high heels and lingerie tomorrow, and of course her fresh mani and pedi (bright red!). We'll keep you posted on the event Dr.

 

[ChainedUp]

Dear Dr Liz,

I have a thread that seems to be quite popular at times with the ladies. Should I stand back and let them take control, jump in and wrestle control away from them, or saunter in cool as a cat and let them know I have my eye on them?

Signed,

First World Lit Problems

 

[LizVegas79]

Dear Dr Liz,

I have a thread that seems to be quite popular at times with the ladies. Should I stand back and let them take control, jump in and wrestle control away from them, or saunter in cool as a cat and let them know I have my eye on them?

Signed,

First World Lit Problems

Dear Problem Child,

Own it baby!

Unless you like where these so-called ladies are taking it. Then just sit back, relax and enjoy!

Sometimes giving control over to someone else can show the greatest strength and confidence.

Doctor "Either Lick My Boots, Or Get Out And Don't" Liz

 

[LizVegas79]

ATTENTION PATIENTS:

We're running a special on your annual exams!

As you know, my chosen profession can be a slippery slope. However, I've found one metric that has proven effective time and time again.

Please make an appointment to have your patient records updated immediately!

Exams are flirty, fun and fast ... with optional longer, in-depth exams available at 50% off.

I promise you will leave feeling rejuvenated, refocused and relaxed or your money back!

That's our 110% satisfaction guarantee!

All exams performed by either myself, or you can choose from one of my experienced staff:

Ubiquitous_too
BarefootGirl
FieryWhore


Don't Delay! Make an appointment today!


Doctor "Total Patient Confidentiality I Promise" Liz

 

[Ubiquitious_too]

Yes! Vitals should be updated every six months, at least.
We also have waxing available. See above.

 

[LizVegas79]

Yes! Vitals should be updated every six months, at least.
We also have waxing available. See above.

Yes! Waxing specials available too!

Same 110% guarantee!

 

[dontneedone]

xxxxxx

 

[Ubiquitious_too]

I'm just going to be really blunt.

Dr. Liz makes me want to jerk off all the time. Not only want, but actually do. At home. At the office.

I need to stop. But I can't help it.

Please help.

Do you need help jerking off, or help quitting?
Please be specific...

 

[puffinpenguin]

Dr Liz,

Stopping by your practice, as requested. Couch, or exam room?

I would prefer the one where I won't get hurt too badly, you have after all threatened to spank me for being both late and early. I'm kinda screwed both ways no?

 

[TheOlderGuy]

Dear Doctor Liz,

I'm at the end of my rope. I don't know what to do.

Grandma got run over by a reindeer, and we're all lost without her. NO, it wasn't like that. But my wife has had to baby sit Grandpa for four months now. No, No, no -- it isn't like that.

Gawd, Doc, get your mind out of the gutter. I just miss her. My wife, not Grandma. She (Grandma) was actually kind of demented.

What should I do?

Sane, or maybe Not, in Chelsea

 

[hotoldrguy]

ATTENTION PATIENTS:

We're running a special on your annual exams!

As you know, my chosen profession can be a slippery slope. However, I've found one metric that has proven effective time and time again.

Please make an appointment to have your patient records updated immediately!

Exams are flirty, fun and fast ... with optional longer, in-depth exams available at 50% off.

I promise you will leave feeling rejuvenated, refocused and relaxed or your money back!

That's our 110% satisfaction guarantee!

All exams performed by either myself, or you can choose from one of my experienced staff:

Ubiquitous_too
BarefootGirl
FieryWhore


Don't Delay! Make an appointment today!


Doctor "Total Patient Confidentiality I Promise" Liz

I tend to be very cautious with my health so would it be possible to have all four of you examine me to make sure no one misses anything?

 

[DarkSimian]

ATTENTION PATIENTS:

We're running a special on your annual exams!

As you know, my chosen profession can be a slippery slope. However, I've found one metric that has proven effective time and time again.

Please make an appointment to have your patient records updated immediately!

Exams are flirty, fun and fast ... with optional longer, in-depth exams available at 50% off.

I promise you will leave feeling rejuvenated, refocused and relaxed or your money back!

That's our 110% satisfaction guarantee!

All exams performed by either myself, or you can choose from one of my experienced staff:

Ubiquitous_too
BarefootGirl
FieryWhore


Don't Delay! Make an appointment today!


Doctor "Total Patient Confidentiality I Promise" Liz

I will gladly stop by on my way back from California. I may need the medical attention after my week of "vacation" . Or, I can just stop by and let BFG examine me, since I will be so close. Either way, sign me up

Wandering Monkey Man

 

[ChainedUp]

Dear Dr Liz,

Will the annual check-up costs be covered by my health care FSA?

Signed,

Not that I wouldn't do it anyway

 

[mickyp123]

Dear Dr Liz,

Will the annual check-up costs be covered by my health care FSA?

Signed,

Not that I wouldn't do it anyway

Dear Dr Liz, I came for a check up and there was nobody there in reception, i read a magazine and helped myself to some of the blue sweets in the cabinet.

I have now had a constant erection for four days, what should i do

 

[catherinewheel77]

Dear Dr. Liz,

Is there such a thing as being too lubricated? Ever since the first guy I messed around with exclaimed, "holy fuck, you're so wet!", I've been terribly self conscious about my tendency to become...um...embarrassingly you know what.

Niagara Falls Litster

 

[StupidDoes]

Dear Dr. Liz,
every morning i wake up with an itch on well..i am embarresed to say...my penis. i rub the itch and have to keep rubbing to make the itch stop. well, it always ends up with a sticky mess all over myself. Do you know how i can scratch and not end up with such a mess? anyways to prevent this from happening? Do i need an appointment? how do i make one? or should i just take two fingers and call you in the morning?

thanks!