What are your darkest fears?

incubus_dark

Really Experienced
Joined
May 25, 2003
Posts
291
Doms, subs, switches and those unclassifiable or whom refuse to be classified,

What are your darkest fear? Which of them do you consider irrational and which are rational? Are any of them hold overs from childhood and are do you think any are true phobias?

Please mention whether you think of yourself as dom, sub, switch or something else in your answer.
 
I consider myself to be a dominant.

If I would have to mention one of my ‘fears’, it would have to be rats.

I hate the buggers; I think they are the most disgusting animals that God ever created.

I use to have an irrational fear, which by now I can control. When I was younger, not that I am very old now, I would panic if I would come in the neighbourhood of a Rat. Nowadays I just get tendencies to hunt them down and destroy the little buggers.

Francisco.
 
I'm a sub and hate heights. I'm fine as long as I'm inside a building or a plane. But, standing on top of a mountain or on a cliff is terrifying beyond belief and is accompanied by intense vertigo and nausea. Yes, its a holdover from childhood.
 
i'm a sub, as i hope you all know by now.

ok, fear number one - bugs. ack, hate them! ugh! when i lived with my father, then with my boyfriend, i would always scream and hop up on something, pointing and begging them to kill it. living alone, i've had to conquer the little nasties myself. at first, i would try to kill them from afar with spray household cleaning products.

this always took too long and wasted a lot of windex.

so over time, i've learned to just smash the damn things with a shoe.

fear number two - sharks. no stories here, no explanations, just a great big irrational fear. the idea of being in the water, so helpless, with a huge killing machine (who can swim) and it's just SO much bigger than me - it's paralyzing.

fear number three - this one is a little more serious, and far more prevelant. ending up with the wrong guy (in a big way) and never even knowing it. now, this is only possible because of my fourth fear - my fear of being alone. so yeah, i guess i've got issues.


edited to fix my horrible spelling, but instead of "edit" i hit "quote" the first time so i double posted...sorry...
 
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Sadistic Top

Flying. Yes, the mile high club is one of intense irrational existential terror. Kafka could have made a novel about me on a puddle jump, trembling nausea and imminent annhilation, that's my life on a plane.

I don't know if it's phobic, but certain textures of violence are unbearable to me. Cutting into dead frog for dissection, or raw chicken for cooking. Squashing a bug. Ew ew ew ew ew.
 
I am a switch, though more submissive than dominant.

My fears.... I think my greatest one is being smothered in my sleep. I used to quite often have dreams where this man who wore blue jeans and a white t-shirt stood beside my bed... when I looked up, it was too dark to see his face, but he was there with malicious intent. He came to me a few times per month for some time, but I've only seen him once in the last... 3 months or so.

Other fears that I have include a massive fear of large crowds of people (which I developed while in Italy for World Youth Day, crowded among 6 million people to see the pope), and I'm claustrophobic. Getting on a crammed bus is difficult for me, and sometimes walking through crowded hallways at school is tough...

And bugs... I'm afraid of earwigs and ticks, bugs that can get inside of you and harm you... spiders, just cus they're creepy.. pathologically afraid of bees (but that's to be understood, as I was stung by 71 of them one day in the 7th grade).

I have other fears, and I have a great many small neuroses... a lot of it spans from the last few years... car accidents, rapes, and my family breaking up... the stress kind of got to my head.
 
I'm a Dom, and I'm scared of Eb! I used to be scared of Inc, but that was before I met Eb. :D

Okay, serious answer now... I get claustrophobia in crowds. I've never noticed feeling "scared" -- it's more a panic reaction. Fight or flight.

Otherwise... um, I'm not scared of heights. I'm not scared of spiders/snakes. I'm not scared of blood. I'm not scared of needles. Um... I'm scared of cancer though!
 
submissive-ish

I used to be terrified of flying. Now I merely hate it. I think it boils down to a control thing for me.

Needles are my biggest phobia. I am like a little kid at the doctors office. I am actually considering natural labour the next time I get pregnant to avoid having another epidural. I had a terrible experience as a kid with a nurse who had to draw blood for a procedure. She couldn't find my vein and stabbed me repeatedly until she had to call for help. I literally had a bruise 4 -5 inches long on the inside of my elbow.

Other then that I fear that something will happen to my son. I taught special ed when I was working and my brother is mentally disabled. I love these children with all my heart but thank god that my son is healthy and intelligent. I know, it's not BDSM related, but it is a big part of who I am. ;)
 
Fear

In daily life I'm a control freak but have recently discovered a DEEP desire to be submissive.

Currently, I believe that my greatest fear is venturing into the world of BDSM and finding myself in a situation that has gone WAY beyond what I'd expected or feel is safe.

I don't generally consider myself to be afraid of anything... but will admit that snakes and spiders can have me scratching for a couple hours. <wink>
 
Re: Fear

mindlover said:
Currently, I believe that my greatest fear is venturing into the world of BDSM and finding myself in a situation that has gone WAY beyond what I'd expected or feel is safe.

I can understand that fear, and unfortunately from a friend's experience, know it's all too true. Caution, care, safety, communication, limits... are all I can recommend. Don't rush into playing.
 
fears...hmm..

Completely submissive

Fears...

I have two commons ones..spiders (ick! ugh! Don't watch Aracnophobia alone at nightime...was itching for hours!) and needles...i too am afraid i may have to opt for natural child birth because i dont think i could bring myself to get an epidural...but the odd thing is....i dont mind tattoos at all LOL

I also have the fear of being alone...not having anyone to love me...or worse yet...being rejected by one i love deeply and THEN being alone...

and i suppose ....ultimately....i fear failure.
 
masochistic/submissive

my fear is simple...HEIGHTS!!! don't like em...can't even think of a plane less my Owner forces me to and even then the thought freaks me COMPLETELY!!!

I love all the lil creepy crawlies (bugs, snakes, frogs, lizards..i am a country chick, ya know?)

So there ya have it...no fear of failure, no fear of being alone or trapped or bugs or any such thing....just HEIGHTS (ohh and a small irrational fear of drowning...no idea why...i swim like a fish!!!!!)
 
Aside

Arachnophobia (the movie) features the "Avondale Spider", which funnily enough, is from where I live! Avondale is 10 minutes thataway (waves in the general direction.)

They're actually completely harmless spiders. Tend to hide out in walls. But they look fearsome, which is why they were picked for the movie.

New Zealand does have the world's most poisonous spider, known as the "Daddy Longlegs". It's also completely harmless, because it's bite can't penetrate human skin at all.

More of a problem here are the number of Black Widow spiders, which are finding there way here from Australia in aircraft, imported cars and the like. They're not only deadly, but have a bite to match!
 
Re: Re: Fear

FungiUg said:
I can understand that fear, and unfortunately from a friend's experience, know it's all too true. Caution, care, safety, communication, limits... are all I can recommend. Don't rush into playing.

Thank you for the advise!!! It's a journey that I plan to take cautiously... but one that I'll definitely be taking!!

Have a wonderful evening!
 
submissive

Spiders really freak me out. If I find one in my apartment I have to kill it or it will stay on my mind and I will be on the internet trying to identify it and getting obsessed. Other bugs don't bother me so much and Daddy long legs and the like aren't a problem, but I cannot stand "evil looking" spiders. However, physically squishing them is nearly as disgusting so I prefer bug spray. Oh wait, cockroaches inspire almost as much kill! kill!! And I have to agree about rats - if they are large and feral I will turn tail and run! I've seen some nasties in underground transportation or down by the wharves.

Public speaking to a group. I can do it and survive, but I really don't like it and feel alot of anxiety. Anything unusually exhibitionistic usually causes some anxiety for me too.

I think I have the opposite fear of being alone - getting overly comfortable and settling in too much, taking things for granted, getting lazy, bla and careless. Relationships of convenience or habit that lose their meaning, depth or challenge scare me.

Anything dead or overly bloody gives me that sickening feeling in my stomach and even gagging on extreme occasion, however I can suck it up and deal with it. I worked at a vet's office a long time ago - hence the contact with and handling of the dead and/or overly bloody (animals).
 
You all know what I am...


My only 'fear' is to become weak enough to care about fear. Otherwise, nothing.
 
As a single parent of almost 8 years, my darkest fears relate to losing a child to foolish behavior, drugs, etc. My second biggest fear would be losing my father. He'll be 83 this year, and is starting to have health issues. I lost my Mom almost 10 years ago.

Bugs suck, but they can easily be done away with. I used to freak on spiders when young. One day, when I was in 6th grade, I aimed at a spider in the bathroom with a spray can of Lysol and it died quickly. Haven't been scared of them since. I smash them too, if needed. Fly swatters work great on spiders.

I always have a can of wasp & hornet killer on hand since I dislike flying bugs that sting. (Got a bad brown wasp sting in TX about 21 years ago, it hurt for months!) It also works on big spiders!

I still don't like the creepy critters, I've just found my own way to deal with them. ;)
 
Er, umm..think I have to put myself down as wannabe sub being a newbie to this ..

Mosquitoes.. they love me, I hate em. One lone mozzie circling in a bedroom has me hiding under the sheets no matter how hot it is, but fortunately we don't have them in my part of UK.

Having fillings at the dentist made my knees wobble until I discovered I could have intravenous valium and just float through the whole thing :)
 
incubus_dark said:
Doms, subs, switches and those unclassifiable or whom refuse to be classified,

What are your darkest fear? Which of them do you consider irrational and which are rational? Are any of them hold overs from childhood and are do you think any are true phobias?

Please mention whether you think of yourself as dom, sub, switch or something else in your answer.

Being left. It's irrational, no question. This has nothing to do with my childhood or any other life experiences I have had.

I am a sub.
 
(submissive)'

Moths, butterflies and especially MILLERS...

those little white bugs that gather around lights. I absolutely freak out and lose it, have tried many times unsuccessfully to get over it, irrational.

Other bugs don't affect me that way.

- justina
 
I am a submissive.

Heights, spiders, and so on don't really bother me. I don't LIKE clowns, they give me the chills, it's an irrational thing since childhood.

But fear? Deep down fear? The only thing i really fear completely is the fracturing of my mind, the inability to think straight and carefully, with purpose and clarity on a daily basis.

THAT, i fear.

~anelize
 
Mayberry and Chaam:

Nothing?

Not a lack of meaning, or staying up at night wondering where you went wrong, or the big nothing that might be the long dirt nap, or falling off a roof in the middle of Ohio, or becoming homeless, or that your children will hate you, or that the femsub you were talking to online is a hairy guy named Skip in West Texas, or losing everything to a bank computer crash, or that terrorists will take out the Brooklyn Bridge....

nothing?
 
Netzach said:
Mayberry and Chaam:

Nothing?

Not a lack of meaning, or staying up at night wondering where you went wrong, or the big nothing that might be the long dirt nap, or falling off a roof in the middle of Ohio, or becoming homeless, or that your children will hate you, or that the femsub you were talking to online is a hairy guy named Skip in West Texas, or losing everything to a bank computer crash, or that terrorists will take out the Brooklyn Bridge....

nothing?

My lady you made me think long and hard on this so...when I'm dead I'm dead,the falling off a roof I did in Berkshire,my children would never hate me as I am quite wonderfull :)

The hairy bloke named Skip I must say is close.I have seen dead people,been in fires,explosions (small) crawled in the dark under floors ,worked in small confined spaces.Being alone doesn't worry me. Mayhap my lady I am just not sufficiently imaginative.Also the terrorist thing being English we have had it with the Irish for 40 years of bombs in pubs etc so no not terrorists.
Oh and I forgot to mention I would suppose Dom.

Incubus_Dark thank you for setting a question which at least made me think long and hard
 
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