Objectification/Humiliation

but ask me to describe what im doing and the embarrassment sets in.

i think this is an excellent point. the bottom should not be allowed to think, "i worship my master and out of devotion taste of his essence."

rather it's to be described simply and crudely as 'licking his cum off the floor." and following netzie, this is NOT because it's ordered. rather the bottom asks, even pleads for it 'may i lick your cum off the floor' 'i see it turns you on, so ask in more detail'

it actually should be "may i lick the cum off the floor because it gets me hot."

Pure said:

but ask me to describe what im doing and the embarrassment sets in.

i think this is an excellent point. the bottom should not be allowed to think, "i worship my master and out of devotion taste of his essence."

rather it's to be described simply and crudely as 'licking his cum off the floor." and following netzie, this is NOT because it's ordered. rather the bottom asks, even pleads for it 'may i lick your cum off the floor' 'i see it turns you on, so ask in more detail'

it actually should be "may i lick the cum off the floor because it gets me hot."

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Divine essence works ok for a lot of us, though. I don't think it lessens the humiliation any more than it would not be painful for someone who finds tweezer clamps to have them on, just becauise someone else says that clover clamps are where the REAL pain is at.

.............

after some more thought, i realized the thing that humiliates me the most is admitting that i like being you used, that i want to be hurt untill i cry, that i crave being treated like someones toy, a pet, not quiet my own person. the most humiliating thing is to admit im not being forced and i am seeking this out. to have to ask for what i want explicitly, instead of hiding behind a disguise of innocence. to have nobody and no situation to blame my arousal on. that is the most humiliating of all.

myinnerslut said:

after some more thought, i realized the thing that humiliates me the most is admitting that i like being you used, that i want to be hurt untill i cry, that i crave being treated like someones toy, a pet, not quiet my own person. the most humiliating thing is to admit im not being forced and i am seeking this out. to have to ask for what i want explicitly, instead of hiding behind a disguise of innocence. to have nobody and no situation to blame my arousal on. that is the most humiliating of all.

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uh, yum.

myinnerslut said:

after some more thought, i realized the thing that humiliates me the most is admitting that i like being you used, that i want to be hurt untill i cry, that i crave being treated like someones toy, a pet, not quiet my own person. the most humiliating thing is to admit im not being forced and i am seeking this out. to have to ask for what i want explicitly, instead of hiding behind a disguise of innocence. to have nobody and no situation to blame my arousal on. that is the most humiliating of all.

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I remember those days well, but alas it no longer bothers me.

Catalina

myinnerslut said:

after some more thought, i realized the thing that humiliates me the most is admitting that i like being you used, that i want to be hurt untill i cry, that i crave being treated like someones toy, a pet, not quiet my own person. the most humiliating thing is to admit im not being forced and i am seeking this out. to have to ask for what i want explicitly, instead of hiding behind a disguise of innocence. to have nobody and no situation to blame my arousal on. that is the most humiliating of all.

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Netzach said:

uh, yum.

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That was my first thought too. Guh.

catalina_francisco said:

I remember those days well, but alas it no longer bothers me.

Catalina

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i still very much have two sides. the religious school substitute teacher/education major/camp counselor/ all around sweet girl and the submissive/sex loving/ kinky/ not-ok-in-public girl. they are both me, but i tend to hide behind the sweet and innocent girl when i get embarressed and forcing me to strip away that mask is a huge humiliation factor for me.

myinnerslut said:

after some more thought, i realized the thing that humiliates me the most is admitting that i like being you used, that i want to be hurt untill i cry, that i crave being treated like someones toy, a pet, not quiet my own person. the most humiliating thing is to admit im not being forced and i am seeking this out. to have to ask for what i want explicitly, instead of hiding behind a disguise of innocence. to have nobody and no situation to blame my arousal on. that is the most humiliating of all.

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You took the thoughts right out of my head.

This explains it all prefectly for me

This....

myinnerslut said:

after some more thought, i realized the thing that humiliates me the most is admitting that i like being you used, that i want to be hurt untill i cry, that i crave being treated like someones toy, a pet, not quiet my own person. the most humiliating thing is to admit im not being forced and i am seeking this out. to have to ask for what i want explicitly, instead of hiding behind a disguise of innocence. to have nobody and no situation to blame my arousal on. that is the most humiliating of all.

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...I think, is one of the most honest, perceptive and beautiful things I think I have ever read.

twysted73 said:

...I think, is one of the most honest, perceptive and beautiful things I think I have ever read.

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thank you

and i have to admit: even typing this out to post on a furom for people i have never actuallly met, i began to feel the blush of humiliation from admitting how i feel about the topic to somone else.

myinnerslut said:

thank you

and i have to admit: even typing this out to post on a furom for people i have never actuallly met, i began to feel the blush of humiliation from admitting how i feel about the topic to somone else.

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I could imagine enjoying hours of good conversation exploring this with you. So few people have the passion as well as the ability to verbalize and properly describe what it is they feel unabashedly.
I've recent;y come into contact with someone who feels what you describe but she is difficult to draw out into conversation concerning it. I know it's there only because of the inquiries and explorations into her fantasies that I've made.
Any suggestions there?

twysted73 said:

I've recent;y come into contact with someone who feels what you describe but she is difficult to draw out into conversation concerning it. I know it's there only because of the inquiries and explorations into her fantasies that I've made.
Any suggestions there?

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Build trust. Then try an exploratory scene where you and she really explore her fantasies verbally. PM me if you want more details or explanation.

myinnerslut said:

after some more thought, i realized the thing that humiliates me the most is admitting that i like being you used, that i want to be hurt untill i cry, that i crave being treated like someones toy, a pet, not quiet my own person. the most humiliating thing is to admit im not being forced and i am seeking this out. to have to ask for what i want explicitly, instead of hiding behind a disguise of innocence. to have nobody and no situation to blame my arousal on. that is the most humiliating of all.

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I have tried to same the same thing a zillion times but never have I said it as succinctly and beautifully as you have. Thanks MIS.

*nods in agreement* MIS, that is the best way and the most articulate way to describe it, and I completely agree. I get so embarrassed trying to actually say the words, say it outloud, that usually I can't even speak. It's become somewhat of a limit of mine, but only because I'm not yet at the point where I can get past the embarrassment in order to say it.


Heather

wow, im really flattered. thanks all.

Homburg said:

Build trust. Then try an exploratory scene where you and she really explore her fantasies verbally. PM me if you want more details or explanation.

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I do appreciate the offer and will more than likely take you up on it. I have patience, understanding and I listen to her. Based on these few suggestions alone I think it should be a matter of time. She has the usual set up. She's in a power possition at work, at home. It's even how she interacts with others. She manipulates those who are male with her sexuality and for all others she takes the agressive lead in conversation. So being naturally in charge has her at odds with her desires. She's a conflict of interests. She had once said to me, "I want to be submissive but on my terms." Yet when we speak or when she asks me to teach her what I know, she gravitates towards the most degrading elements that I refer to or mention.
It's strange how we've run into one another (quite by accident) exactly at a point in her life where she's breaking away from her "old self" and reaching for curiousities that have always been with her but supressed.

twysted73 said:

"I want to be submissive but on my terms."

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I would take this very much at face value. If you are hell bent on making this happen your way, or if you are put off by any of what she describes (your description of her desires as "the most degrading" make me sense you're not entirely comfortable with them, and may try to slip something milder her way) then this may not be the right person to do this with. In doing it her way, you may gain the trust needed to eventually do it your way.

Got that kind of patience? Relationship worth that kind of patience? Only you can answer that part.

note to myinnerslut,

MIS after some more thought, i realized the thing that humiliates me the most is admitting that i like being you used, that i want to be hurt untill i cry, that i crave being treated like someones toy, a pet, not quiet my own person. the most humiliating thing is to admit im not being forced and i am seeking this out. to have to ask for what i want explicitly, instead of hiding behind a disguise of innocence. to have nobody and no situation to blame my arousal on. that is the most humiliating of all.

excellent; i agree and see that others have applauded your words.

catalina said,

// it no longer bothers me. //

Pure responds: i can see habituation setting in, as in other forms of sex. ho hum. this again. i'm a fuck toy and love it that way.

i'd suppose, as with sex, that the top and bottom MIGHT be able to keep it interesting. for example, raising the ante: let's suppose the female top has 'accustomed' her botton to drinking a glass of pee on the spot. it's trite, but how about the top inviting a couple friends over, to contribute. similarly, supposing the top to be male and his 'fuck toy' is habituated to draining a condom he had just filled. would she have a problem if she were to retrieve that condom from the bottom of a wastebasket a day after the fact. and had to beg permission, after stating her want. IOW, isn't some extension always possible?

perhaps this gets back to the old Jewish joke about the older rabbi coming upon the younger rabbi praying aloud: "I'm nothing. I'm just a speck Lord. I'm dirt. I'm less that dirt. I'm nothing."

the older rabbi remarks aloud, "who does he think he is, being 'nothing' like that?"

is being 'nothing', the absolute limit of degradation/humiliation? i don't know if it makes sense. perhaps the issue of abandonment raises this point, but that means the rupture of the relationship, and it can't be continually threatened.

iow, if someone is hanging around to degrade you, you aren't quite 'nothing.' you're at least a 'whipping boy[girl]'.

does the 'whipping boy/girl' have a right to exist [in the context of a scene]. perhaps just as a means to another's pleasure. so we're back to 'fuck toy.'

of course the top, in desiring a replay, a continuation, had best not create or foster the idea of abandonment. and had better not threaten basic trust. but surely it can be conveyed that the bottom's 'justification' and why s/he is around is to serve, to service [needs], and to display devotion. this, of course, is parallel in Judaism and Xianity: the human [=bottom] is 'there' to serve [be the Lord's servant] and to walk in the way of the Lord. [devotion, faithfulness]. while there may be 'trials' or chastisements, the 'servant's trust is expected to remain-- the 'trustworthiness' of G*d not being an issue that can even be conceptualized as a question.

---
i suppose Netzach with 'oh yum' made some of these points in much fewer words!

myinnerslut said:

after some more thought, i realized the thing that humiliates me the most is admitting that i like being you used, that i want to be hurt untill i cry, that i crave being treated like someones toy, a pet, not quiet my own person. the most humiliating thing is to admit im not being forced and i am seeking this out. to have to ask for what i want explicitly, instead of hiding behind a disguise of innocence. to have nobody and no situation to blame my arousal on. that is the most humiliating of all.

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Thanks for posting that. A certain someone pointed me at at with a big "uh-huh uh-huh!"

As Netzach says, "yum!"

CutieMouse said:

To a certain degree, getting a shy, innocent prude to admit her fetishes/erotic humilation buttons is almost a mind-fuck... if it's something you simply don't do, it's very unnerving to find yourself doing it.

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God, I so love doing that. Drawing out what a woman dreams of/fantasises over, and making her confess it verbally. It's a fantastic feeling of power to be able to plumb someone's innermost self in that way.

myinnerslut said:

after some more thought, i realized the thing that humiliates me the most is admitting that i like being you used, that i want to be hurt untill i cry, that i crave being treated like someones toy, a pet, not quiet my own person. the most humiliating thing is to admit im not being forced and i am seeking this out. to have to ask for what i want explicitly, instead of hiding behind a disguise of innocence. to have nobody and no situation to blame my arousal on. that is the most humiliating of all.

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Fantastic post MIS, really sums it up for me too.

I think, as Pure said, that as a pyl I do exist as a fucktoy but the edge is that I only get that honour for as long as I amuse my Master. If he gets pissed off with a scene he'll change direction or bring it to a premature close and then I know he's disappointed, which compounds the humiliation I went through while trying to please him. It's a very double edged sensation for me that way.

Netzach said:

I would take this very much at face value. If you are hell bent on making this happen your way, or if you are put off by any of what she describes (your description of her desires as "the most degrading" make me sense you're not entirely comfortable with them, and may try to slip something milder her way) then this may not be the right person to do this with. In doing it her way, you may gain the trust needed to eventually do it your way.

Got that kind of patience? Relationship worth that kind of patience? Only you can answer that part.

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In labeling her desires (I really do detest lables) I only wished to illustrate the extremes by which her life and her appetites coexist. Quite honestly I adore her flavor of kink. I admire the extreme extents to which they go. The thrill I felt when she listed them for me was unmisteakable. I do not judge her in the slightest for them. I value her for it. For one of the few times in my life I feel I just might have met my "twysted" match. I could and would never ruin such a beautiful mind as hers by attempting to water down her flavors. (I'm almost besides myself with interest) But I thank you for your words of caution. Under that other perception I can completely understand them.

myinnerslut said:

i still very much have two sides. the religious school substitute teacher/education major/camp counselor/ all around sweet girl and the submissive/sex loving/ kinky/ not-ok-in-public girl. they are both me, but i tend to hide behind the sweet and innocent girl when i get embarressed and forcing me to strip away that mask is a huge humiliation factor for me.

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Don't get me wrong, I understand what you mean, but this is part of what I posted about earlier in moving beyond that point by taking responsibility for my desires and honestly seeing nothing wrong with them as they are natural IMO in anyone who has a strong and exploratory libido. Men have had them for centuries and been seen as normal, even looked up to for it, feminism just verified for me what I already believed in that is it is just as normal for want of a better word, for a female, thus it makes it more difficult to press those buttons and trigger such reactions in me. I have no problem saying what it is I desire and want, begging for it if necessary, and was open about those desires while searching for the right one for me...so it doesn't work for me. To even remotely touch the humiliation/degradation buttons one has to move into the fairly hardcore and extreme realm and even then it is not guaranteed to have the desired reaction.

Catalina