My Wife Wants to Bring Guys Home to Fuck

For you boys who are agreeable to having your wife invite another lover into your home, I hope you will help her get ready for her date: bathe her, shave her legs, dry her off, apply body lotion....you get the picture. It makes a big difference. :)
 
I wondered that, too, but bear in mind that some husbands don't want other women. They just want their wives to be with other men. Depends on the guy and their dynamic, their marriage.


That is right. If the key to accepting your wife's sexual activities with other men is that you get to do it too (with other women) the implication is that she is "getting away" with something and it will somehow be more acceptable if the man can "get away" with something as well. It doesn't work that way. Two wrongs don't make a right. It only works if you don't see it as wrong.

From that perspective then you are dealing with one of the many things that we balance in a relationship. That balance is usually not found in a like for like exchange.

For instance I like to ride offload vehicles. I prefer to do it with my buddies. And sometimes the opportunity arises at times that affect our personal plans. For me to say that since I get to go riding she gets to go riding isn't the answer. She enjoys it to a point but she is not as good, can't keep up and finds the tougher trails intimidating. And although she gets along with my buddies it really isn't the same experience at all. Her reality simply is not her doing heel clickers off the biggest jumps and whooping it up. It isn't incumbent upon me to change that reality or to deny my own enjoyment.

Likewise she has a vibrant and active sex life which includes other men. She is able to attract them and manage those relationships without intruding on our relationship other than in ways that I enjoy. That isn't my reality. Our relationship was open at one point. Newsflash - women are not as open as men to a casual sexual relationship with a married person that is explicitly not going to lead to a long-term commitment. Men don't have unlimited sexual capacity. Women aren't as willing to do what ever their partner wants as men are. And so on.

Whether you agree with those assertions or not the point is that being a free agent is a different experience for every person. There are men for whom an open relationship would be just as experience rich as for his wife or even more so. It comes down to the unique circumstances. In my view, there are more men who like the idea of an open relationship but women are more able to capitalize on it - but that is beside the point.

For me chasing women to have infrequent experiences that pale in comparison to being with my wife isn't balance and it has no appeal. It isn't her job to turn me into a fantasy porn star or to deny her enjoyment. Our balance comes from other places, not me bringing home other women.

If I really wanted to she would accept that. But I caution any man from going down that road where your ability to accept a non-monogamous marriage is dependent upon keeping up with your wife. You won't keep up unless their is a differential in desire. If she desires and pursues extra-marital sexual activity in equal measure she will outpace you by a multiple of many.
 
That is right. If the key to accepting your wife's sexual activities with other men is that you get to do it too (with other women) the implication is that she is "getting away" with something and it will somehow be more acceptable if the man can "get away" with something as well. It doesn't work that way. Two wrongs don't make a right. It only works if you don't see it as wrong.

From that perspective then you are dealing with one of the many things that we balance in a relationship. That balance is usually not found in a like for like exchange.

For instance I like to ride offload vehicles. I prefer to do it with my buddies. And sometimes the opportunity arises at times that affect our personal plans. For me to say that since I get to go riding she gets to go riding isn't the answer. She enjoys it to a point but she is not as good, can't keep up and finds the tougher trails intimidating. And although she gets along with my buddies it really isn't the same experience at all. Her reality simply is not her doing heel clickers off the biggest jumps and whooping it up. It isn't incumbent upon me to change that reality or to deny my own enjoyment.

Likewise she has a vibrant and active sex life which includes other men. She is able to attract them and manage those relationships without intruding on our relationship other than in ways that I enjoy. That isn't my reality. Our relationship was open at one point. Newsflash - women are not as open as men to a casual sexual relationship with a married person that is explicitly not going to lead to a long-term commitment. Men don't have unlimited sexual capacity. Women aren't as willing to do what ever their partner wants as men are. And so on.

Whether you agree with those assertions or not the point is that being a free agent is a different experience for every person. There are men for whom an open relationship would be just as experience rich as for his wife or even more so. It comes down to the unique circumstances. In my view, there are more men who like the idea of an open relationship but women are more able to capitalize on it - but that is beside the point.

For me chasing women to have infrequent experiences that pale in comparison to being with my wife isn't balance and it has no appeal. It isn't her job to turn me into a fantasy porn star or to deny her enjoyment. Our balance comes from other places, not me bringing home other women.

If I really wanted to she would accept that. But I caution any man from going down that road where your ability to accept a non-monogamous marriage is dependent upon keeping up with your wife. You won't keep up unless their is a differential in desire. If she desires and pursues extra-marital sexual activity in equal measure she will outpace you by a multiple of many.

I agree 100%. I know if my marriage were to open fully to the point I was having sex with other women, there's no way I'd be able to "compete" with my wife. If my wife were to go full on slut mode she could have a different guy every night. While most available women would go "He's married? Oh, nevermind". We would have to join the swingers scene and find like minded couples. There's no way my wife would allow that.
 
For you boys who are agreeable to having your wife invite another lover into your home, I hope you will help her get ready for her date: bathe her, shave her legs, dry her off, apply body lotion....you get the picture. It makes a big difference. :)

Yes it is so very important to be involved. Also it allows her to concentrate on her emotional needs. I need my wife to know how important her satisfaction is.
 
Now, granted, the hot wife scene isn't for me. I'm too poly myself to be faithful, though I don't give a fuck about who's ahead, or scoreboard or whatever. I just want the freedom to love and be loved without being required to decline or refuse love on the basis of some kind of prior commitment. It's not a race to see who can get more strange.

So, yes, entering into any new relationship, the SO or SOs would have to know upfront that I'm not the monogamous sort. If they can't accept me as I am, there is no future. We'd be fundamentally incompatible. It wouldn't be, "oh, she's got a lover, so I must have one, too." It would be, "hey, I'm not the one-woman sort of guy and I won't pretend to be" instead. If she also feels that way about her needs, I won't be a hypocrite about it, just as I would hope that she wouldn't be.

But the point is that my polyamory isn't contingent upon whether or not she's poly. Mono-poly combinations can be tough, but they are possible. You've gotta be your own honest self and not try to make them someone they are not.
 
Now, granted, the hot wife scene isn't for me. I'm too poly myself to be faithful, though I don't give a fuck about who's ahead, or scoreboard or whatever. I just want the freedom to love and be loved without being required to decline or refuse love on the basis of some kind of prior commitment. It's not a race to see who can get more strange.

So, yes, entering into any new relationship, the SO or SOs would have to know upfront that I'm not the monogamous sort. If they can't accept me as I am, there is no future. We'd be fundamentally incompatible. It wouldn't be, "oh, she's got a lover, so I must have one, too." It would be, "hey, I'm not the one-woman sort of guy and I won't pretend to be" instead. If she also feels that way about her needs, I won't be a hypocrite about it, just as I would hope that she wouldn't be.

But the point is that my polyamory isn't contingent upon whether or not she's poly. Mono-poly combinations can be tough, but they are possible. You've gotta be your own honest self and not try to make them someone they are not.



And being you own honest self may well include not being able to accept a poly partner. It is what it is. You are ok with it or you are not. And if you are not it is highly unlikely that a set of conditions will change anything.
 
For me, I'd prefer that both of us were poly, but if she's mono, that's okay, too. As for sets of conditions, the only ones that I have are: respect me, my nature, and my rights and be honest with me. Do that and we're good.
 
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