another wife sharing thread with different question?

Hello all. Normally my wife is the one posting but I have read a lot of stuff and I have to wonder for those of you that have done this was it really exciting or was it scary when you did it? I am the only one my wife has ever had sex with. We have been together 15 years and I try to do a lot to keep things new and fresh. We got talking about fantasy and we share this one. She is open to a lot of things and we have took things slow. We both were raised to think sex is bad.... but fun. My wife has to talk me into things sometimes, which seems weird. We have role played it with sex toys, talked about it during sex. She has emailed other men. I took her out and she showed her tits to a bunch of people and it was hot as hell. We go to strip clubs and I have watched her play with another women. We have had sex after I cummed in her and it is the best sex I have had. I just don't know how to get over that "dirty" feeling. We know communication is key and we have that... is it just nerves? Is it normal to have those nerves? Thanks in advance

why woul you want to get over that "dirty feeling" Embrace it

Pretty_kitty169 said:

Hello all. Normally my wife is the one posting but I have read a lot of stuff and I have to wonder for those of you that have done this was it really exciting or was it scary when you did it? I am the only one my wife has ever had sex with. We have been together 15 years and I try to do a lot to keep things new and fresh. We got talking about fantasy and we share this one. She is open to a lot of things and we have took things slow. We both were raised to think sex is bad.... but fun. My wife has to talk me into things sometimes, which seems weird. We have role played it with sex toys, talked about it during sex. She has emailed other men. I took her out and she showed her tits to a bunch of people and it was hot as hell. We go to strip clubs and I have watched her play with another women. We have had sex after I cummed in her and it is the best sex I have had. I just don't know how to get over that "dirty" feeling. We know communication is key and we have that... is it just nerves? Is it normal to have those nerves? Thanks in advance

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Are you considering mfm or fmf more? Does that affect you level of nervousness?

Well. I would love to see her enjoying someone while I watch. I don't want no part of a man touching me but it is so thrilling to think about her.... when we went to strip club and she was playing with another girl the "dirty feeling" went away real fast! We still talk about that night and to be honest she has never been wetter then that night. But the first time we went to a strip club we left because we had that feeling. Then when we went in it turned into an amazing night. Just wonder if that would happen with sharing. I think a lot of people on this board can understand the deep connection I have with my wife to even think of this. It isn't just letting her cheat on me ect. It is wanting to have the hottest sex with her ever after many years together. Just her sending pictures to other men gets me going! I guess the biggest fear is what if we regret it. We can't take it back. But we have never regretted anything so far?

If you're sure about each other and aren't worried about how you'll feel afterward, it can be very hot.

Regrets

I feel that if you are secure in each other, then there probably shouldn't be any regrets. Also I feel that when the regret thing happens, if she is the only one having other partners, would be if any kind of feelings for that other partner should surface.

I can tell you I was in a similar situation, wanting to embrace a fantasy but not wanting to regret it. When we actually did it, I was surprised at how 'natural' it somehow felt watching her suck cock.

Everyone's different but your strip club feedback is a positive sign. Just be sure your in a situation and with partner(s) you're comfortable with would be my advice.

vegasflasher said:

I feel that if you are secure in each other, then there probably shouldn't be any regrets. Also I feel that when the regret thing happens, if she is the only one having other partners, would be if any kind of feelings for that other partner should surface.

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Thanks all. We are secure for sure. We have experienced a lot of fun stuff. Sometimes I wonder what the hell is wrong with me, she is willing to do what ever and I feel funny so I stop. I know how lucky I am, I just have to figure out how to over come the nervous feeling. Like they said earlier...embrace it... just have to figure out how. I also guess it is normal to have a few second thoughts of a dick in the love of ur life. But it is so damn hot. We almost went into a adult theatre but got weirded out in the parking lot. So many things to try... so ignorant of me. Haha

Do you guys have to jump right into her giving head to a stranger or getting a cream pie so you can fuck her afterwards? Why not try going to a sex club or swinger's club and have her try some heavy petting and making out first and seeing how you feel about that. If you feel regret from the kissing it seems the regret from your wife kissing someone would be less than the regret from her swallowing a load of cum and would be easier to get over.

I also don't know how much I'd compare the feelings her fucking around with a woman invoked compared to the feelings her fucking around with a man might invoke. Two totally different beasts in my opinion.

If you guys are thinking unprotected sex, I can understand why you feel a bit gross. I'm sorry, I'm probably a total kill joy, but the thought of swapping bodily fluids with a stranger grosses me out and I'm glad it does--it probably saved me from a host of STI's when I was a bit more free with sharing the coochie.

If I was in your shoes I would probably do the experimenting with kissing/petting thing and if that works out fine then I'd set out to find a fwb who can be your guys regular friend. This way you guys can get tested and can build the trust there that can potentially make things that much hotter.

Other thing that makes me feel funny. What if guy is hung way more then me? With her never being with anyone else maybe she don't know and maybe I don't know that I don't size up... haha.. that is kind of a joke kind of not

Pretty_kitty169 said:

Other thing that makes me feel funny. What if guy is hung way more then me? With her never being with anyone else maybe she don't know and maybe I don't know that I don't size up... haha.. that is kind of a joke kind of not

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Is she a size queen? Go buy some dildos that are bigger than you and see how it makes you feel when she uses them.

Domesticity said:

Is she a size queen? Go buy some dildos that are bigger than you and see how it makes you feel when she uses them.

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Good idea, while I don't like the humiliation that seems to be a part of much of the cuckold scene, a little teasing about "size", also turns me on.

Firstly, you're incredibly lucky to have found a woman comfortable enough in her own skin and with her own sexuality that she's not just interested in this adventure with yo, but talking you into it haha. I was lucky enough to find a woman who knew how to have fun, too. It opens all kinds of opportunities and feelings to experience. Good for you!

I agree with Domesticity that it might be best not to jump right into double penetration, cum shots and fuck sessions if you're uneasy with how you might feel a day later once the arousal has worn off. It's likely best for you to ease into the shallow end one step at a time to make sure you're even interested in swimming in the pool of wife sharing.

You ask if it's just nerves when you think about this stuff and if it's normal to have these nerves. I may have a valuable opinion on that. I can't give you personal advice when it comes to face to face, wife sharing threesomes and more. What I can give you is my personal experience with the exact feelings you're having of excitement, morality, jealousy, regret, etc.

My SO and I decided to open our relationship after a few years of long distance and have kept it open since bridging the gap. What started as a way to seek physical connection while away developed into experiencing the new experiences that came along and having a little fun. Now it's downright "I'm intrigued with this guy/girl. Should I? Yeah, fuck him/her." It's not your average relationship and so it's been filled with all kinds of new feelings that we're taking on as we go. If you're always going to be involved in the adventures, you have far less to worry about. That's good.

I develop "nerves" all the time during our relationship. They were there hen we started, when something new happens, when something unexpected happens, all of that stuff. It's easy to lump them into one big bow and call it nerves, but in reality for me they're a group of complex feelings that relate to my attraction to her, the rush of something far beyond the social norm, the anticipation of what's next(for you during, for me when she gets back). It's a ton of stuff, but the word nerves works and it's normal.

The feelings of excitement, at least with me, are related to her sexuality. I'm not necessarily turned on by some guy fucking my SO, but I am turned on by my SO fucking - Be it me, a girl, a guy, a dildo, whatever. That's where the excitement and attraction comes from.

If you find your wife attractive, find it to be a turn on when she's fooling around with a stripper or talking about this potential adventure, etc it might have to do with your attraction to HER sexuality. Giving her what she wants, giving her something new and adventurous, giving her something that certainly none of her friends husbands are giving her friends, etc... It's genuinely a good feeling. It's another way to please and satisfy your wife.

As for the "What if he's bigger, better?" stuff, that's going to come up no matter what. It's in our genetic makeup to be competitive. Sex Experts would even tell you you will likely be turned on simply through the genetic wiring of sperm warfare haha. Don't pay any mind to it. Some might be bigger, some might be better, one might even be bigger and better - But at the end of the day she'll be going(or staying) home with you for faaaarrrrr more reasons than those and take some pride in knowing that it takes quite the man to embark on this kind of sexual freedom/adventure. Your wife will be too busy thinking how great she already has it to ever think about the not-so-green grass on the other side.

Hope that helps and wasn't a waste. Good luck!

bill3901 said:

why woul you want to get over that "dirty feeling" Embrace it

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I second this. There is an old joke that says "sex isn't dirty unless you're doing it right." Sex can take on many forms at different times....sweet and innocent....loving and gentle.....hard and rough......just plain dirty. The best thing is to try everything on the menu.

amofiga said:

I second this. There is an old joke that says "sex isn't dirty unless you're doing it right." Sex can take on many forms at different times....sweet and innocent....loving and gentle.....hard and rough......just plain dirty. The best thing is to try everything on the menu.

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I like the sound of this menu....I'll definitely have one of each please!

Pretty_kitty169 said:

Well. I would love to see her enjoying someone while I watch. I don't want no part of a man touching me but it is so thrilling to think about her.... when we went to strip club and she was playing with another girl the "dirty feeling" went away real fast! We still talk about that night and to be honest she has never been wetter then that night. But the first time we went to a strip club we left because we had that feeling. Then when we went in it turned into an amazing night. Just wonder if that would happen with sharing. I think a lot of people on this board can understand the deep connection I have with my wife to even think of this. It isn't just letting her cheat on me ect. It is wanting to have the hottest sex with her ever after many years together. Just her sending pictures to other men gets me going! I guess the biggest fear is what if we regret it. We can't take it back. But we have never regretted anything so far?

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I have thought about taking her to a male strip club because that is a fairly safe way to see what happens. I could watch her get a dance or 2. But it don't seem like to many are around

Pretty_kitty169 said:

Hello all. Normally my wife is the one posting but I have read a lot of stuff and I have to wonder for those of you that have done this was it really exciting or was it scary when you did it? I am the only one my wife has ever had sex with. We have been together 15 years and I try to do a lot to keep things new and fresh. We got talking about fantasy and we share this one. She is open to a lot of things and we have took things slow. We both were raised to think sex is bad.... but fun. My wife has to talk me into things sometimes, which seems weird. We have role played it with sex toys, talked about it during sex. She has emailed other men. I took her out and she showed her tits to a bunch of people and it was hot as hell. We go to strip clubs and I have watched her play with another women. We have had sex after I cummed in her and it is the best sex I have had. I just don't know how to get over that "dirty" feeling. We know communication is key and we have that... is it just nerves? Is it normal to have those nerves? Thanks in advance

Click to expand...

Are you sure it's a "dirty" feeling? Or is it a territorial feeling? I've never done this, nor would I. But from what I've read it creates a dopamine rush for the man and it can be volatile, especially after the fact. Understand you run the risk of lowering your status to beta male if you bring another man into it. This isn't about you two being "secure." It's about primordial instincts at play. But again I cannot speak from experience. Do a little research.

DevilInDetail said:

I can tell you I was in a similar situation, wanting to embrace a fantasy but not wanting to regret it. When we actually did it, I was surprised at how 'natural' it somehow felt watching her suck cock.

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Watching my wife on her knees, eagerly sucking cock has always been a favorite, recurring fantasy of mine.

Pretty

Personally I wouldn't do the male strip club thing. It isn't stimulating to women in the same way that a regular strip club is to men. To me a guy in a g-string looks ridiculous, not sexy. And I think most women do it as a lark for girls night out……not as a sexual indulgence the way men do.

I notice that you have a few typical make hang-ups that may be a source of concern.

You don't want any male touching you. Of course you don't have to participate in anything but your wording suggests a degree of homophobia that is not consistent with a sexually liberated mindset.

You are concerned about another man being bigger. It will happen……count on it. And it will likely be intimidating. And every other man will offer something unique that is a novelty for which she will have enthusiasm. It isn't a reflection of you. All humans like some degree of variety. Even if you have a gourmet meal everyday, you will get sick of it if it the same meal always. The fact that you may be very excited about a simple burger doesn't mean you prefer burgers.

Don't put her in a position where she has to play pretend to support your ego.

enjoying herself

It sounds a lot like you are coming from the perspective of what turns you on which includes the dirtiness/taboo of it all. Obviously that is a big part of your enjoyment for you.

But what does she enjoy about this scenario? And can you live with her enjoying herself in ways you had not imagined? I don't mean some overwhelming submission to a virile stud (although that may happen). I mean the simple fact that you can't control where things will go. The two of you can have guidelines to take it slow, but you can't control her emotions. What if she is attracted to some guy you think is an asshole? You can corner her into denying it, but you can't change those feelings.

And if she has to restrain her own feelings to protect your ego, insecurities or hang-ups this could go very wrong. Next thing you know you are getting mad at her for enjoying something you find unsettling.

be careful what you wish for.

policywank said:

It sounds a lot like you are coming from the perspective of what turns you on which includes the dirtiness/taboo of it all. Obviously that is a big part of your enjoyment for you.

But what does she enjoy about this scenario? And can you live with her enjoying herself in ways you had not imagined? I don't mean some overwhelming submission to a virile stud (although that may happen). I mean the simple fact that you can't control where things will go. The two of you can have guidelines to take it slow, but you can't control her emotions. What if she is attracted to some guy you think is an asshole? You can corner her into denying it, but you can't change those feelings.

And if she has to restrain her own feelings to protect your ego, insecurities or hang-ups this could go very wrong. Next thing you know you are getting mad at her for enjoying something you find unsettling.

be careful what you wish for.

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Oh she won't have to restrain any feelings. She never has and never will. We take everything slow and talk about it before and after. If anything bothers either one of us its not an issue we simply don't do that any more. As far as another man touching me. I appreciate the opinion on being sexually liberated but not wanting dicks to touch just means I have absolutely no desire for anything gay at all. Hey, some people love it and more power to them. Not for me. I think it just means we are liberated in separate ways. Some people may feel that sharing is liberated. Some people may feel that a dildo is liberated. It is all a personal choice. I do understand what you say about someone being bigger and grateful to get suggestions with this post. In the end it would be better if they are bigger. She will be going home with me and that is all that matters. And from what I have gathered from everyone, if I feel the guy is an asshole and she don't. Then it simply don't happen. We have discussed it and we have to agree about it no matter what. I would never get mad if she said I don't want to fuck that guy because he is an asshole. I know she won't get mad if k have a bad feeling. That's just the way we roll. That is again all for the help

I was raised the same way and when a friend of mine asked if I would be interested in doing something with he and his wife I was hesitant but once the nervousness went away it was really great and I wish it had gone on for a long time. They transferred and that was it. Be comfortable in what you do. I was most worried about guy guy contact and that never happened it more about him watching us.