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How To Make Your Partner Notice You Again

LoveBeginsAgain

LoveBeginsAgain

Really Really Experienced
Joined
Mar 3, 2019
Posts
424
My significant other and I have usually had a nice healthy relationship in the bedroom. But lately life has gotten in the way. Health reasons, work, probably a little stressful situations as well.

How do we get back into that romantic mode again? We talk about it, we both want to, but we just don't make the time.

Loving wife seeking advice for bringing back the bounce :)
 
LoveBeginsAgain said:
My significant other and I have usually had a nice healthy relationship in the bedroom. But lately life has gotten in the way. Health reasons, work, probably a little stressful situations as well.

How do we get back into that romantic mode again? We talk about it, we both want to, but we just don't make the time.

Loving wife seeking advice for bringing back the bounce :)
Click to expand...

If life has gotten in the way, then perhaps you need to change your lifestyle to get back to where you were.
 
We work out together and that seems to keep us connected, working always on ourselves together to be better for each other, plus I tease the hell out of him lol, drives him crazy if I get stares from others too, makes me feel desired and he likes knowing I’m leaving with him.
 
I'd recommend trying a few small things to help put you in a romantic/sexy mindset to catch your husband's eye and potentially lead to reigniting the spark that has gone out of your love life:

Wear your favorite red lipstick. You know that tube you reserve for special occasions or for when you are 'feeling yourself'...commit to wearing it a few times a week. There's nothing that gets one in the mood to be sexy than feeling sexy. (Of course, tinted lip gloss with high shine would work too, if red isn't your thing. But, the point is to get him to notice, and guys always notice red lipstick.)

Do more things that make you feel sexy. If you feel sexy, you are more likely to act sexy...which may be the thing you need to encourage your husband to reciprocate. However, if make-up isn't your thing, you could always make sure your husband notices you walking around in a pretty, matching bra and panty set...or let him watch you moisturize your naked body after a bath or shower. (Just be sure to take your time, use exaggerated teasing motions, linger over the parts of your body you know he loves, and put on a show for him.)

Talk to him about past sexual trysts. Think back to the romantic interludes or hot sex sessions you used to have when things were 'cooking' in the bedroom and remind him of them. Get as graphic and specific as you are comfortable being. However, the dirtier the talk, the better.

Go out of your way to flirt with him. Flirting is an easy way to get out of the communication rut you may be in. Make a point of telling him the ways in which you find him sexy. If you are in the mood to 'start something'...let him catch you checking him out, smile your appreciation, and tell him how much you'd enjoy touching, kissing, licking, tasting specific parts of his body. That should be enough to get the ball rolling.

Anyway...I hope these suggestions were helpful. Best of luck to you!
 
Snowbunnie12 said:
We work out together and that seems to keep us connected, working always on ourselves together to be better for each other, plus I tease the hell out of him lol, drives him crazy if I get stares from others too, makes me feel desired and he likes knowing I’m leaving with him.
Click to expand...

It's hot knowing others want what you have. Even if they get a sample, she ends up in her SO's bed.
 
curioustxn said:
If life has gotten in the way, then perhaps you need to change your lifestyle to get back to where you were.
Click to expand...

Definitely true, I think we found the time because our lifestyle was a bit eventful, chaotic at times even, exciting, but now there's not much happening.
 
Snowbunnie12 said:
We work out together and that seems to keep us connected, working always on ourselves together to be better for each other, plus I tease the hell out of him lol, drives him crazy if I get stares from others too, makes me feel desired and he likes knowing I’m leaving with him.
Click to expand...

This is a good idea, this is actually what has helped us in the past. We often walked together after work and I really was such a big flirt too. I'm not sure why we don't walk that much anymore. I remember he used to walk behind me too, and I'd turn around and he'd be smiling.

He has gained a lot of weight, so I should just drag him out walking :) Thank you for your reply.
 
LaBelleDameSansCulotte said:
I'd recommend trying a few small things to help put you in a romantic/sexy mindset to catch your husband's eye and potentially lead to reigniting the spark that has gone out of your love life:

Wear your favorite red lipstick. You know that tube you reserve for special occasions or for when you are 'feeling yourself'...commit to wearing it a few times a week. There's nothing that gets one in the mood to be sexy than feeling sexy. (Of course, tinted lip gloss with high shine would work too, if red isn't your thing. But, the point is to get him to notice, and guys always notice red lipstick.)

Do more things that make you feel sexy. If you feel sexy, you are more likely to act sexy...which may be the thing you need to encourage your husband to reciprocate. However, if make-up isn't your thing, you could always make sure your husband notices you walking around in a pretty, matching bra and panty set...or let him watch you moisturize your naked body after a bath or shower. (Just be sure to take your time, use exaggerated teasing motions, linger over the parts of your body you know he loves, and put on a show for him.)

Talk to him about past sexual trysts. Think back to the romantic interludes or hot sex sessions you used to have when things were 'cooking' in the bedroom and remind him of them. Get as graphic and specific as you are comfortable being. However, the dirtier the talk, the better.

Go out of your way to flirt with him. Flirting is an easy way to get out of the communication rut you may be in. Make a point of telling him the ways in which you find him sexy. If you are in the mood to 'start something'...let him catch you checking him out, smile your appreciation, and tell him how much you'd enjoy touching, kissing, licking, tasting specific parts of his body. That should be enough to get the ball rolling.

Anyway...I hope these suggestions were helpful. Best of luck to you!
Click to expand...

I do like those ideas, walking around in my favorite panties, bra or even nightie. Using long slow movements to put on my lotion or whatever task I'm doing.

I could talk about our past sexual events forever, they were so incredibly fun and hot. It was like we discovering ourselves, ohh the memories! I'm glad I have those.

I think I'll write them down, in story format so I can remember them, and I'll share it with him.

I still flirt, not as much as I used to, and he tells me he's sorry that he hasn't been with me...we both know that something needs to change.

We shall see if things change in the next few months.
 
Nick0311 said:
My fiancee and I go through these spells as well from time to time. We are very open and communicate well. A lot of times we just need a day to ourselves to re connect and that can be as simple as laying on the couch together and watching a movie.

We are busy and life does get in the way, but in the end we know what's most important and we make time for that.
Click to expand...

That is very good of you, at least we find the time to sit on the couch and snuggle, or smile and laugh at our jokes, talk about our day, he is very supportive of me and I know he loves me. I am grateful for that. If we can make time for that, we are still good, but intimacy is so important.

I think that snuggle on the couch can be taken somewhere else :)
 
Nick0311 said:
Oh absolutely it can be taken somewhere else. I was just saying many times it doesn't take a lot. You need to go to a fancy diner or get dolled up. Sweat pants, a warm blanket and a good movie does wonders.

We are lucky though, since our kids are from previous marriages we get ever other weekend to ourselves and we are able to take full advantage of that and use it to help our relationship grow.
Click to expand...

That's awesome! I think that's so important to help your relationship grow. Maybe that's what we are missing. We were at a high point, and now its plateaued, so how to spice it up again. Start slow? Start with a touch? A kiss? Or do I just drag him to the bedroom..lol
 
Maybe I missed it, but I’m not sure of your situation, eg kids, finances, etc. Those can be distractions.

If you find yourself in a rut, you need to give the steering wheel a wrench. My special honey and I do periodic staycations - spend a night in a posh local hotel, ones specifically sans TV, phones or computers. There’s nobody there but each other and no distractions - they work wonders.

Think about what attracted you to each other. Those are trumps, so play them now.

Think about giving with no expectation of getting anything back. A tired guy might want an orgasm but simply isn’t up for the work making love can be. So help him out, blow his mind and just smile.

Speaking of smiling, to me, somebody smiling at me is to me is a good indication that they’re not taking me for granted. No matter how busy you are, never forget to smile at your sweetie.
 
Nick0311 said:
Start with a touch or a kiss. But start small maybe try to flirt or seduce him. Or surprise him with something. Is there a kink or fantasy of his you would be willing to indulge to help spice things up?

Whatever you do remember it needs to be a 2 way street. It's great you want to kick things off but if he isn't willing to reciprocate then a conversation needs to be had.
Click to expand...

There are a few fantasies that we could fulfill. I know its a two way street, no doubt about it....its about the timing.

You're giving me ideas now :)
 
TarnishedPenny said:
Maybe I missed it, but I’m not sure of your situation, eg kids, finances, etc. Those can be distractions.

If you find yourself in a rut, you need to give the steering wheel a wrench. My special honey and I do periodic staycations - spend a night in a posh local hotel, ones specifically sans TV, phones or computers. There’s nobody there but each other and no distractions - they work wonders.

Think about what attracted you to each other. Those are trumps, so play them now.

Think about giving with no expectation of getting anything back. A tired guy might want an orgasm but simply isn’t up for the work making love can be. So help him out, blow his mind and just smile.

Speaking of smiling, to me, somebody smiling at me is to me is a good indication that they’re not taking me for granted. No matter how busy you are, never forget to smile at your sweetie.
Click to expand...

Thank you for this, we used to have many staycations..oh what fun...and a smile is so important, we have never forgotten that. We still hug, kiss, lay on the couch, help each other, laugh and talk, we just need a vacation I think.

I can think of ways to blow his mind :) lol Thank you again..maybe its me that should be taking the first step and not waiting for him.
 
Loving wife is feeling hopeful now :)

Now for implementation :)

First step...express, next step...plan...now implement plan :)

This is going to be fun :)
 
Part 2....realized what was happening and needed a change. We had a nice talk yesterday and we talked about counseling, not just for our marriage, but for the things that has happened in our lives as well that we haven't dealt with yet.

It takes a lot of work, and if we could deal with the things that are happening around us, that would be ideal.
 
Nick0311 said:
My fiancee says it all the time and it's kinda corny but so true...Team work makes the dream work. If you two work together you can succeed and probably become closer as a couple.
Click to expand...

Agreed! At least we are on the same team :) we want the same dream, and we actually are closer than we were a long time ago. That is a huge start.

I am so looking forward to a staycation. I will plan that when things get going, that will be our next step as well.
 
Give each other alone time

LBA,

One thing in life my wife and I acknowledge is the need for time alone. Not only alone, but undisturbed no kids, no chores, no bullshit.

What one decides to do with said alone time is up to them.

As my wife and I are hyper sexual, we acknowledge that the other person will likely participate or be encouraged to erupt emotionally by the other. "Take care of yourself...I'm Done." is a great salutation as she leaves for the grocery.

Taking the kids or dependents off the other person's hands for even a few hours a couple days a week will go miles to rejuvenate interests. Questions like, "How was your afternoon alone?" always bring joy. Acknowledge the Solo Sexual life of each other.

Some of my buddies who rarely get laid, rarely give or get alone time. They get zero alone time at home. I have no idea what your situation is, but self then others. The heat will rekindle.
 
Satinfan162 said:
LBA,

One thing in life my wife and I acknowledge is the need for time alone. Not only alone, but undisturbed no kids, no chores, no bullshit.

What one decides to do with said alone time is up to them.

As my wife and I are hyper sexual, we acknowledge that the other person will likely participate or be encouraged to erupt emotionally by the other. "Take care of yourself...I'm Done." is a great salutation as she leaves for the grocery.

Taking the kids or dependents off the other person's hands for even a few hours a couple days a week will go miles to rejuvenate interests. Questions like, "How was your afternoon alone?" always bring joy. Acknowledge the Solo Sexual life of each other.

Some of my buddies who rarely get laid, rarely give or get alone time. They get zero alone time at home. I have no idea what your situation is, but self then others. The heat will rekindle.
Click to expand...

Good advice, we do have dependents at the house. We have never talked about our "alone" time. That could be interesting...I would also like to think to talk about our fantasies also. That could really get the ball rolling :)
 
LoveBeginsAgain said:
We talk about it, we both want to, but we just don't make the time.
Click to expand...

a bit like "I keep dropping a rock on my foot, but how do I stop my foot from hurting?"

You already know what is needed but "we just don't make the time".

You don't need hints on activities, you just have to question why you can't be bothered. Even writing here seeking your magical answer is more delaying tactics. You already have stated what the issue is, you can't be bothered putting the time in. They were your own words.
 
NightL said:
a bit like "I keep dropping a rock on my foot, but how do I stop my foot from hurting?"

You already know what is needed but "we just don't make the time".

You don't need hints on activities, you just have to question why you can't be bothered. Even writing here seeking your magical answer is more delaying tactics. You already have stated what the issue is, you can't be bothered putting the time in. They were your own words.
Click to expand...

That's powerful, but the good thing is that this is helping, and we had some good "we" time last night. Talking about the reasons and the goals is one way for me to make it happen. So far, its helping me get a grasp on what I want, the reasons and we have begun a conversation with a little more kissing.
 
NightL's by not means entirely wrong, but sometimes you just need to talk these things out, right?

So blather away, hon. You say it's helping, we've got the time, and electrons are free.

:rose:
 
TarnishedPenny said:
NightL's by not means entirely wrong, but sometimes you just need to talk these things out, right?

So blather away, hon. You say it's helping, we've got the time, and electrons are free.

:rose:
Click to expand...

It is helping, talking and getting past the reasons why things have changed are a stepping stone to getting to where we want to be. I know part of it is me also, and I can see that I am changing for the better.

I'm glad electrons are free, thank you.
 
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