COVID-19 RESOURCES
LIT CAMS (200 Free Tokens)ADULT TOYSVOD MOVIES

Objectification/Humiliation

Okay, so, yeah. I've been giving the hulimiation/degredation thing a lot of thought.

I have some pretty unhealthy issues with emotional masochism, which I've talked about before, but I've recently realized how deep it goes. I can get into a cycle of "Oh my god I suck I'm such a worthless person" (usually triggered by someone asking me about writing, or something else like that that I have trouble with), and then will just go on and on about it no matter how many times the person I'm talking to says "no, no you don't suck." I recently realized that I keep on it, getting more and more depressed, countering all reassurences with more and more insecurities until finally whoever I'm talking to throws up their hands in frustration, and at least for a quick moment, actually, truly, really agrees with me. Once I get that affirmation of "you know what? Your right, you do suck and you are worthless" it hurts, but it hurts in a bad/good way, and its almost a relief of like, "I knew it!", and it scratches an itch so deep down inside. And then usually I cry and get a little depressed.

Anyway, what I'm thinking is, is that maybe degredation and humiliation will be able to scratch that itch. Maybe not exactly in the right way (since I'll know in the back of my head that the person doesn't actually believe that I'm a stupid/worthless/easy/bitch/whore/slut) but close enough to stave off the cravings.

I'm going to be thinking about this a lot.
 
00Syd said:
Okay, so, yeah. I've been giving the hulimiation/degredation thing a lot of thought.

I have some pretty unhealthy issues with emotional masochism, which I've talked about before, but I've recently realized how deep it goes. I can get into a cycle of "Oh my god I suck I'm such a worthless person" (usually triggered by someone asking me about writing, or something else like that that I have trouble with), and then will just go on and on about it no matter how many times the person I'm talking to says "no, no you don't suck." I recently realized that I keep on it, getting more and more depressed, countering all reassurences with more and more insecurities until finally whoever I'm talking to throws up their hands in frustration, and at least for a quick moment, actually, truly, really agrees with me. Once I get that affirmation of "you know what? Your right, you do suck and you are worthless" it hurts, but it hurts in a bad/good way, and its almost a relief of like, "I knew it!", and it scratches an itch so deep down inside. And then usually I cry and get a little depressed.

Anyway, what I'm thinking is, is that maybe degredation and humiliation will be able to scratch that itch. Maybe not exactly in the right way (since I'll know in the back of my head that the person doesn't actually believe that I'm a stupid/worthless/easy/bitch/whore/slut) but close enough to stave off the cravings.

I'm going to be thinking about this a lot.
Click to expand...

Well, I understand where you are coming from....

My Little One loves it when I do degrading humiliating things to her and to her mind. But we have a level of trust that most couples don't have. She knows I love her and she loves me, so we have more freedom with her. We also know each others hard limits--You DO NOT call her a bitch--snaps RIGHT out of headspace!

Anyway, you have to take it slowly and push the limit when comfortable.

Enjoy!
 
Daddy is working on building me up to please Him. He really only says nice things to me. i find it oddly humiliating. Its as if His tenderness illuminates for me just how low i went. It also reinforces that my self esteem is basically in His hands, that i have taken my ego and just given it away to either be built up or torn down. In today's society that in itself is humiliating. Sometimes the successful corporate mom looks at the little girl and is a little squicked out by the shameless abandon with which that little girl depends on her Daddy. As i learn to accept my Daddy's love those days are fewer and fewer.

:heart: Daddy
 
00Syd said:
Okay, so, yeah. I've been giving the hulimiation/degredation thing a lot of thought.

I have some pretty unhealthy issues with emotional masochism, which I've talked about before, but I've recently realized how deep it goes. I can get into a cycle of "Oh my god I suck I'm such a worthless person" (usually triggered by someone asking me about writing, or something else like that that I have trouble with), and then will just go on and on about it no matter how many times the person I'm talking to says "no, no you don't suck." I recently realized that I keep on it, getting more and more depressed, countering all reassurences with more and more insecurities until finally whoever I'm talking to throws up their hands in frustration, and at least for a quick moment, actually, truly, really agrees with me. Once I get that affirmation of "you know what? Your right, you do suck and you are worthless" it hurts, but it hurts in a bad/good way, and its almost a relief of like, "I knew it!", and it scratches an itch so deep down inside. And then usually I cry and get a little depressed.

Anyway, what I'm thinking is, is that maybe degredation and humiliation will be able to scratch that itch. Maybe not exactly in the right way (since I'll know in the back of my head that the person doesn't actually believe that I'm a stupid/worthless/easy/bitch/whore/slut) but close enough to stave off the cravings.

I'm going to be thinking about this a lot.
Click to expand...

As a culture we're so hung up on good self esteem that we're really scared to challenge that idea at all whatsoever, and any tension around that idea is automatically assumed to be unhealthy.

Unless you put it in a religious context or something, then people are all happy that you're in touch with the "I'm insignificant" notion - so what, why should that be the only acceptable context to get in touch with that idea?

It's very freeing to feel insignificant. Some people go to yellowstone or get a telescope, some people go talking to God and stuff.
 
Netzach said:
It's very freeing to feel insignificant. Some people go to yellowstone or get a telescope, some people go talking to God and stuff.
Click to expand...

i just luv u Netzach :rose:

i really do get tired of feeling like its not okay to not have perfect "independently gained" self esteem or to even be working on it.

It is quite freeing to just let go of the whole notion. Incredibly difficult to achieve but a sometimes near rapturous experience when you can get close and to get close to that in the framework of another flesh and blood human being as that mountain or god. Wow! Incredible.
 
All humans have 5 needs, according to William Glasser (psychiatrist I idolize and study, though I often fail to practice what he preaches): survival (which includes food/water, clothing, shelter, etc.), power (also includes respect and recognition), love/belonging (friends, family, romantic relationships), freedom, and fun. We all have varying degrees of each of these, of course, and in some people, some of them are very nearly non-existent. I, personally, am highest in the need for freedom.

Ok, why am I quoting a psychiatrist in this thread? Because of this:

Netzach said:
It's very freeing to feel insignificant.
Click to expand...

I crave freedom, which, to some, would seem to stand in direct odds with the submission thing. And in some ways, I suppose it does. But I am at peace when I am somewhere that suggests freedom...a long, winding dirt road, amidst acres of flat pastureland, pretty much any wide open space.

I'm most at peace, though, in two places: the beach or on my knees, at his feet. Both places are highly suggestive of insignificance, but they appeal to my need to freedom as well. That has to be tied together somehow.

Maybe one day he and I will go to the beach together....

Anyway, back on topic, I love objectificiation, humiliation, and degradation. All forms. I swear to God, I haven't found a limit as far as that goes yet. I think I have male sub brain in that regard.
 
Netzach said:
It's very freeing to feel insignificant.
Click to expand...


To feel insignificant.

It's the one thing I desperately crave, yet am utterly petrified of.

To go so far as to have absolutely everything that I've built up around myself over the years stripped away, to have that protective cacoon broken, to have someone step in there and see me for who I really am, and to have nowhere to hide.

To be stripped to my bare essentials, broken, to be less than insignificant, to be nothing, to hurt that much. To be rebuilt.

Want it. Need it. Crave it.

Do I have the intestinal fortitude to go against everything I've been taught, everything I've absorbed, everything that's been drilled into me since day dot and go there?

Only time will tell.

It's hard enough acknowledging that part of myself.
 
Last edited:
There is something very empowering and very arousing about degrading or humiliating someone.
 
Lizzie_Borden said:
To feel insignificant.

It's the one thing I desperately crave, yet am utterly petrified of.

To go so far as to have absolutely everything that I've built up around myself over the years stripped away, to have that protective cacoon broken, to have someone step in there and see me for who I really am, and to have nowhere to hide.

To be stripped to my bare essentials, broken, to be less than insignificant, to be nothing, to hurt that much. To be rebuilt.

Want it. Need it. Crave it.

Do I have the intestinal fortitude to go against everything I've been taught, everything I've absorbed, everything that's been drilled into me since day dot and go there?

Only time will tell.

It's hard enough acknowledging that part of myself.
Click to expand...

Thats a desire I've been seriously considering lately, and wondering just how far I want to take it. It really is scary.
 
Netzach said:
As a culture we're so hung up on good self esteem that we're really scared to challenge that idea at all whatsoever, and any tension around that idea is automatically assumed to be unhealthy.

Unless you put it in a religious context or something, then people are all happy that you're in touch with the "I'm insignificant" notion - so what, why should that be the only acceptable context to get in touch with that idea?

It's very freeing to feel insignificant. Some people go to yellowstone or get a telescope, some people go talking to God and stuff.
Click to expand...

I have never in my life even considered thinking about it in that way, and its a really interesting thought. Thank you!
 
I have found that if you are into the dom/sub aspect of BDSM, then why shouldn't you enjoy the objectification aspect?

If you would like to submit to someone, don't you want to feel insignificant at the time? It just goes to further the eroticism of sexual tension that makes it fun!

All goes to show that the largest sex organ that you have is your brain. Figure out what pushes your buttons and you can get aroused at a moment's notice!

The hard part is balancing the BDSM that we enjoy with the "vanilla" that our community/jobs demand. That part sucks!
 
ender1818 said:
I have found that if you are into the dom/sub aspect of BDSM, then why shouldn't you enjoy the objectification aspect?

If you would like to submit to someone, don't you want to feel insignificant at the time? It just goes to further the eroticism of sexual tension that makes it fun!

All goes to show that the largest sex organ that you have is your brain. Figure out what pushes your buttons and you can get aroused at a moment's notice!

The hard part is balancing the BDSM that we enjoy with the "vanilla" that our community/jobs demand. That part sucks!
Click to expand...

Not necessarily (to the bolded bit). One can have a power based relationship without ever touching on humiliation or objectification. I was trying to explain something to my best friend the other day (who has her own power based relationships), and while I was going "giggling puddle of squishy goo", she was slightly horrified. :eek:
 
different strokes for different folks!

You're right, it is not a requirement, but I think it can increase the intensity for my Little One. It also takes an observant eye. Sometimes she wants it and sometimes she doesn't. Sometimes it creeps into our vanilla sex. Just some dirty talk about her can make her go crazy.

It's fun, anyway you slice it!
 
A recent memory strikes me here that I find I have been blotting to a large degree. It was perhaps the most valueless and disposable that I have ever felt. Master and I had both been drinking and it was a very bad time for us to get into humiliation play. I had been getting brattier as the evening progressed because of the drink and also because he was winding me up. I found myself bound at the wrists, on my knees, back against the wall while he 'shut me up' with his cock. Master started taunting me, telling me he was simply using my mouth to masturbate with, that any wet hole would have sufficed. I got into my space as he started pulling out and slapping me with it, occasionally backhanding me for the pleasure of seeing my yelp and flinch. Then it was round two and I knew he had drunk enough that he could have fucked my mouth for hours and not cum. I was getting lightheaded and not breathing enough.

Then a kitchen knife appeared at my throat and he started asking who would miss me if I died. My mother died a couple of years ago, my Dad lives in Spain and has always been a chronic waste of space, my sister and I have never got on. Master concluded that the only person who might miss me was him. He started expanding on this, taking guesses at how long it would be after I died that he would have another pliant cunt in his bed. I was so light headed and into my zone at that point that I started crying on his cock.

He held the knife to my skin again and unfortunately, it was then that I fainted. The booze had made him careless and he hadn't given me enough opportunity to breathe. I cut my neck slightly on the knife and as I lost consciousness, I actually believed he had killed me, that I was dying because he was done with using me.

The shock and trauma combined with the O2 deprivation made me have a seizure (been epileptic for years so it wasn't unexpected) and I woke up in our bed, with a plaster on my neck and Master suddenly very sober and highly traumatised by what had happened. I didn't even tell him that I thought I was dying, he was so upset as it was. Reading through this thread I was forcibly reminded and the memory was suddenly clear, whereas before it was a bit boozy and hazy. I have even had nightmares about this, where Master decides I am no longer useful to him and kills me while using/degrading me in some way.

It is strange but now I have been able to turn this over in my mind and examine it, I actually remember it as really fucking hot, when at the time I was absolutely petrified. This isn't something that could even be recreated. Had we not been drunk, I would never have believed what he said or imagined that he could ever kill me. It was just one, crazy, irrational moment in time that spiralled.
 
VelvetDarkness said:
A recent memory strikes me here that I find I have been blotting to a large degree. It was perhaps the most valueless and disposable that I have ever felt. Master and I had both been drinking and it was a very bad time for us to get into humiliation play. I had been getting brattier as the evening progressed because of the drink and also because he was winding me up. I found myself bound at the wrists, on my knees, back against the wall while he 'shut me up' with his cock. Master started taunting me, telling me he was simply using my mouth to masturbate with, that any wet hole would have sufficed. I got into my space as he started pulling out and slapping me with it, occasionally backhanding me for the pleasure of seeing my yelp and flinch. Then it was round two and I knew he had drunk enough that he could have fucked my mouth for hours and not cum. I was getting lightheaded and not breathing enough.

Then a kitchen knife appeared at my throat and he started asking who would miss me if I died. My mother died a couple of years ago, my Dad lives in Spain and has always been a chronic waste of space, my sister and I have never got on. Master concluded that the only person who might miss me was him. He started expanding on this, taking guesses at how long it would be after I died that he would have another pliant cunt in his bed. I was so light headed and into my zone at that point that I started crying on his cock.

He held the knife to my skin again and unfortunately, it was then that I fainted. The booze had made him careless and he hadn't given me enough opportunity to breathe. I cut my neck slightly on the knife and as I lost consciousness, I actually believed he had killed me, that I was dying because he was done with using me.

The shock and trauma combined with the O2 deprivation made me have a seizure (been epileptic for years so it wasn't unexpected) and I woke up in our bed, with a plaster on my neck and Master suddenly very sober and highly traumatised by what had happened. I didn't even tell him that I thought I was dying, he was so upset as it was. Reading through this thread I was forcibly reminded and the memory was suddenly clear, whereas before it was a bit boozy and hazy. I have even had nightmares about this, where Master decides I am no longer useful to him and kills me while using/degrading me in some way.

It is strange but now I have been able to turn this over in my mind and examine it, I actually remember it as really fucking hot, when at the time I was absolutely petrified. This isn't something that could even be recreated. Had we not been drunk, I would never have believed what he said or imagined that he could ever kill me. It was just one, crazy, irrational moment in time that spiralled.
Click to expand...

WTF?

*stomps off for a teamtalk*
 
CutieMouse said:
Tell me to do the same thing with whore/b*tch/slut/c*nt in the mix? I snap right out of submissive headspace, go ice cold, and you better hope you have a good explination for your behaviour. LOL
Click to expand...
Netzach said:
I really respond well to any kind of humiliation regarding my intellect, anything of the "your smarts aren't going to do you any good here" ilk.

I guess the whole sordid situation is laced with its own humiliating edge for me, so it doesn't take a lot of pushing.
Click to expand...
dolf said:
the humiliation thing turns me off.
more than that, it makes me angry.
in a "relationship over" way...possibly in a *crush your nuts on my way out* way too.
Click to expand...
shy slave said:
For those who give verbal humiliation it must be like a walking time bomb at times, especially in a new relationship. In a long standing one you know each other and certain aspects become part of the underlying foundations of the relationship itself. A woven part of the overall dynamic and knowing of each other. Like the 'in-jokes' that every relationship has.

There are many things in r/l I am shy about. I enjoy shocking people sometimes, yet telling a Dom exactly what I want and how I want it is very humiliating. There are some words I don't say (or type) willingly, make me do that and my toes will squirm for hours. None of which makes me feel as if I am a lesser person.
Click to expand...
Evil_Geoff said:
... I don't want the person _I_ am objectifying to objectify themselves. I want them in the here and now. I want them feeling the pain, the humiliation, the scorn, whatever I am unleashing on them. I do not want them off in subspace or never-never land. I want them in pain, in tears, in humiliation...

*sighs*
Sometimes I scare myself when I look inside and see what is roilling around in the darkness.
Click to expand...
intothewoods said:
I think what really gets to me isn't the sexual degradation, so much as the idea that maybe I'm not all that special. It's all about power for me. Not pure pain or sensation. It's the mind fuck.
Click to expand...
00Syd said:
I am absolutely terrible at identifying my own emotions or motivations unless they are slapping me in the face, and I feel like if someone managed to get me to some point where an admission like that came tumbling out... it would be pretty powerful.
Click to expand...
Lizzie_Borden said:
... to have someone step in there and see me for who I really am, and to have nowhere to hide.

To be stripped to my bare essentials, broken, to be less than insignificant, to be nothing, to hurt that much.
Click to expand...
VelvetDarkness said:
Looks like I scared everybody off the thread. :eek:

My work here is done.
Click to expand...
Mmm, nice appetizer for a walk down memory lane.

Find the chink in the armor, adjust accordingly, then enjoy the fruits of one's labors.
 
CutieMouse said:
**Original post (and others when possible) replaced thanks to those who quoted it[them]... **


(Dear God Cutie's actually discussing kink from a more than theoretical perspective... :rolleyes: )

I bumped a thread earlier in the week about humiliation, but it didn't really fully "fit" the conversation I was hoping it would inspire, so I'm trying a new thread. I don't even know for sure what discussion I'm hoping occurs, but I'm in one of those thinking-research-heavy moods lately... it almost kind of sort of makes up for the current lack of bondagy sorts of things in my life... almost.[babblebabblebabble]

So- humiliation & objectification thoughts, anyone? Hot? Not? Trigger issue? Are there some forms you can snuggle down into an hit that mental (and physical) yummy spot, and some that make you want to throw lightning bolts? Does degradation fit into things anywhere for you?

I honestly don't think I could be in a relationship without it... DRD called it my "blush on command" kink, because it's like I can [blush on command]. I get flustered (embarrassed/lightly humiliated) that easily. I don't know why it clicks, or why I see being humiliated as a manifestation of love, or why it's a zero-to-sixty trigger for me [in a good way].

The only odd thing about it for me, is that certain words work, and certian words, don't. Tell me to "Be a good girl and _______" and it clicks. Tell me to do the same thing with whore/b*tch/slut/c*nt in the mix? I snap right out of submissive headspace, go ice cold, and you better hope you have a good explination for your behaviour. LOL
Click to expand...
it has to be the most intimate way to be with someone....comlete vulnerability...yet you trust that whatever line will not be crossed
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

3
Is all femdom humiliation?
2
Replies
40
Views
1K
sxPlasticity
S
T
Older subs(30+) submitting to young Dom/mes(19-23)
Replies
19
Views
600
likitisplit
likitisplit
S
Tips on Finding a Genuine Connection?
Replies
20
Views
427
IrisAlthea
IrisAlthea
BiBunny
Pet Play
Replies
14
Views
528
MagicFlute
MagicFlute
M
Diving into bdsm whithout damaging a relationship
Replies
14
Views
444
Bella857Donna
Bella857Donna
Back
Top