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As The Hospital Pervs

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sweepthefloor said:
You know they say that ACLS is only as good as the BLS delivery. This is true because it doesn’t matter what kind of drugs are pushed in if the chest compressions are not effective enough to circulate.

When I show up to any code, the first thing I look for is the backboard under the patient because it really does make a difference in the chest compressions. “Can we get the backboard under the patient please?” (With my small voice.)

It’s good practice. Clear! Get back on the chest girl! Good luck today, and tomorrow!

Aw you can pound out CPR out to: Another One Bites The Dust.
But who am I kidding? We make the Residents do the chest compressions, so we don’t have to sweat. It’s cute, they get in line to take turns.
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I ROCK the chest compressions. Dead steady at 110/min, same depth each time, and I can do that shit forever without needing to switch roles. I am a fucking compression MACHINE.

Now my shoulders hurt.

And even better news, with the change in recommendations from "about 100 compressions per minute" to "AT LEAST 100 compressions per minute," they've stopped using that fucking song in the training video.
 
sweepthefloor said:
A! You should come and work with us! The nurse gives complete care, with the assistance of the tech, and usually another nurse.

The patients are often so sick it requires two nurses and a tech to clean and change linen. If the patient is a spinal injury we like to have four people to log roll.

If everyone is stable, we work it like the car wash starting in room one and working our way down.

This person couldn’t help it. He felt bad about it. We were just happy he was getting stronger and standing up. What’s a little shit on the floor? This is a man standing, that couldn’t stand for weeks. You got to stand before you can walk to the toilet.

And if we don’t positively reinforce that thought, he won’t ever stand up.

I was in the room with three physical therapists and the patient; they all helped me clean up the floor, the patient, and the chair.
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I meant in terms of the type of patient - shit on the floor is a regular occurrance when working with DD folks. We divide it into "accidental" and "behavioral."

We all work together pretty well, everybody just jumps in. Even our attendings end up helping change diapers. Seriously.

The worst I've ever had for ADLs was a guy who was huge, combative, and in 50 lb. K-wire traction for a broken femur. By law, we can't use "chemical restraints" in any circumstance, so no drugging him to make him calm; we also can't cath unless it is deemed medically necessary. So it took four of us to change his diaper every two hours or so, with him hitting, spitting, and trying to bite the entire time. It was a loooooong rehab.
 
sweepthefloor said:
Hahahaha
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Epic!

One of the law enforcement versions of that would be the dispatcher who keeps telling you to go to the intersection of two parallel streets. Me: "Do you have a map?" Dispatch: "Of Course". Me: "Get someone to read it to you." Got a letter of reprimand for that one. 8)
 
LongDrySpell said:
I meant in terms of the type of patient - shit on the floor is a regular occurrance when working with DD folks. We divide it into "accidental" and "behavioral."

We all work together pretty well, everybody just jumps in. Even our attendings end up helping change diapers. Seriously.

The worst I've ever had for ADLs was a guy who was huge, combative, and in 50 lb. K-wire traction for a broken femur. By law, we can't use "chemical restraints" in any circumstance, so no drugging him to make him calm; we also can't cath unless it is deemed medically necessary. So it took four of us to change his diaper every two hours or so, with him hitting, spitting, and trying to bite the entire time. It was a loooooong rehab.
Click to expand...
Oh! It was accidental.

That sounds like a long rehab. That is some craziness! I can understand the theory of not 'over-medicating' but a man like that needs some Haldol... Geodon? Haha! If a person starts swinging at us-- we put them down for a long nap, and strap them to the bed.

No joke: In the last year I watched one nurse get kicked in face, she ended up with a broken nose. Another nurse got kicked in the back, she was alright but pretty mad.
 
Dam'n doctors, always walking in the hallway with something pushing out the front of thier pants.
 
sweepthefloor said:
Oh! It was accidental.

That sounds like a long rehab. That is some craziness! I can understand the theory of not 'over-medicating' but a man like that needs some Haldol... Geodon? Haha! If a person starts swinging at us-- we put them down for a long nap, and strap them to the bed.

No joke: In the last year I watched one nurse get kicked in face, she ended up with a broken nose. Another nurse got kicked in the back, she was alright but pretty mad.
Click to expand...

I got choked once. It was not fun. Probably the most terrifying thing to happen to me in my life. I've also had broken ribs, a "sprained" wrist that turned out to be a damaged blood supply, now I have a necrotic lunate bone that hurts constantly, two concussions, and a corneal ulcer from being scratched in the eye. All from aggressive acts by patients. (I also had a broken toe but that was accidental - did you know that a power wheelchair with a custom seating system and an adult male in it weighs close to 500 lbs? Neither did I! I do now! :D)

Yet I keep going back. Maybe I should quit the job and get involved in BDSM - at least then I'd have a safe word.

Life with the special kids is not always what it's cracked up to be.
 
Me: I might like this guy, he will probably crush me.
Nurse A: We are Trauma nurses. If he crushes you I'll bust his knee caps.
 
Well, that was crazy. I always wonder: Did I care for the family enough?

I mean if the patient is going to die and we know it, did I care enough for the family? that is the take-home message.
 
When nurses text and flirt.

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The new rehab resident has all the personality of a houseplant. I really shouldn't care, as long as she writes the orders we ask for and isn't a bitch, but still... Making fun of the residents is one of the things that makes the day bearable, and she's just no fun at all.
 
LongDrySpell said:
The new rehab resident has all the personality of a houseplant. I really shouldn't care, as long as she writes the orders we ask for and isn't a bitch, but still... Making fun of the residents is one of the things that makes the day bearable, and she's just no fun at all.
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We get ours on rotation for one month at a time. This last months batch was super talented. I am sad to see them go, but they do come back. We even had a few cute first year girls.

My patient this weekend was so sick, I had to keep pushing amps of bicarbonate all day. One of the first year girls was like: I can do it!

I was like: Great! cause my wrist is starting to hurt! She was adorable trying to figure out how to put the plunger into the amp.
 
We get just one at a time, for a three month stint. The last one was awesome; friendly, smart, funny, and eager. He acknowledged that we have a LOT of collected wisdom, and would often write whatever orders we asked for. Plus, he was damned hawt. I'm gonna miss him.

This new one, I've seen her every week day for two weeks, and I still wouldn't recognize her on the street. When she walks down the hall, I keep thinking, "is that a new social worker?" She's just that memorable. :rolleyes:
 
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