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A conversation about SPH?

whenagain

whenagain

Literotica Guru
Joined
Jul 21, 2015
Posts
2,290
So I’ve been trying to engage purposely with my kinks as of late, and one I always come back to is SPH— small penis humiliation. I don’t-like- that I like this, but it’s definitely there, and I find all convos online about it are:
Guys clearly typing with one hand hoping for a sentence or two they can jerk off to . . . Or
Women trying to get money from those same guys.

Which is fine! Jerk off! Get money! But this feels like a weird one and I’m wondering if anyone has insight, from either side.
 
Way, way back in the time before time, I didn't just think, I knew that I had a small penis. All I had to do was look around the locker room and see the way the rest of the guys dangled. Obviously, we weren't hard or even semi-hard. (Er, most of us.) And I had absolutely no concept of "grower" versus "shower" at the time and assumed the rest of the guys must grow as proportionally as I did.


If they had, one or two could have lined up three cheerleaders and poked the third.


Well, as so often happens in those formative years, I was curious. And I got my hands on... *cough* some materials. Naturally, it didn't help too much that this was during the time of Long Dong Silver and his eighteen inches of penile pulchritude. However, I got my hands on some textual references that I probably shouldn't have and discovered that nine inches (length) was the bare minimum acceptable to satisfy a woman.


Late one night, while the rest of the house was asleep, I snuck into the hall closet, into my Mother's sewing box for her flexible cloth tape measure, and measured every which way imaginable.


And burst into tears when I came up an inch and half short of that magical number. I seriously considered suicide for the first time. (I was young and impressionable and everything was the possible end of the world.) At first, I did some research into how I could possibly fix this problem; to wit, become larger. However, as is often the case, the medical corrections generally had side effects worse than what they were treating.


Whether fortunately or unfortunately, I came across some other researches that seemed to indicate there were other things I could do to win and keep the interest of that ephemeral future woman. And I became an avid student, although my researches were, naturally, solo independent studies.


When I did finally have the opportunity to experience everything (after I was eighteen), ... well, my penis size didn't seem to be all that relevant anymore. Not if I didn't allow it to be.


Rather than bore with a whole bunch of only tangentially relevant information, I'll just say there was one gal I spent three hours driving through more orgasms than she believed was possible. Without ever taking my pants off. Only the once, though. Generally, at some point, my penis was going to come into play.


Through some more studies, I actually came to understand that my own size was somewhere around average, depending on the study, and even a tad over. When erect. When flaccid, no. There was almost literally no dangle to angle. And I had a pretty serious phobia about being seen unerect because of it.


Years later, I became entangled with the woman I refer to as Love, my now deceased wife of over two decades. And she was the first person to ever comment on my size at all. No one else had ever commented, neither how small or how large or just right I may or may not have been. So, in my mind, that meant that my size must have been unsatisfactory. Or they would have commented. Right? I mean, that's what they do in porn. :)rolleyes:)

And... well... let's just say that the word I heard was that the ex was just certain that I must have been larger for her to leave him for me, when the opposite was actually true. That he had a good couple of inches on me. And was a shower as opposed to a grower. (Of course, he couldn't admit that it was because he had abused her mentally, emotionally, and physically and had been fucking anything that would hold still since just a month after they exchanged vows. So, it had to be I was better endowed. :rolleyes:)

Several years later, I had the dubious pleasure of being present for the after procedure briefing with her OB/GYN post hysterectomy. And got a rather pointed glare over the top of her glasses when she mentioned years of uterine bruising. :eek:


(In my defense, I would be willing to bet that five-inch Freddy Kruger claws in your ass cheeks would spur you harder and deeper too!)

Now, the thing is, a long, long time earlier when I was still in college, I'd taken no less than three college courses in sexuality. And in one of them, we talked about the fact that just as men come in various sizes, so too do women come in various sizes. It's just not as readily apparent because their channel is inside while ours is outside. So, we don't really think about it.


Hell, I knew it and I didn't think about it.

I commented to Love something along the lines that her ex must have done it. And she laughed her ass off. From what she told me, he might have had more inches hanging, but he didn't bother to put as many of them inside her. (shrug)

We'd been together for a long, long time by that point. But, it was the first she knew that I'd had those hidden doubts about my own size. And she managed to get me to admit, for the first time out loud, that that was most likely the driving reason for just how hard I drove myself (all puns intended) to satisfy my lovers.

Any road, I know that seems like a whole bunch of shit that doesn't have anything to do with the question at hand, but bear with me for just another moment.

I've just today posted elsewhere that degradation and humiliation on either side is a hard limit for me. I just can't and won't be a willing participant.

However, I do know a tad bit about how it works.

I'm not going to get all technical and clinical here in investigating the psychological underpinnings of a need to be humiliated generally or small penis humiliation specifically. You can Google and find reams of research on the subject of sexual humiliation in the psychological journals if such is your bent. Rather less specifically on Small Penis Humiliation, but the roots of other humiliations still remain germane.

However as far as your questions for yourself, what I would posit might be worth thinking about is two things;

1_ IS your penis actually undersized? That is, less than five inches?

2_ How is it exactly that you, yourself, respond to humiliation in other venues? Do you accept it as a challenge, something to rise above and disprove? Or as something that you've long accepted about yourself and are just looking to see if they also recognize what you believe to be "truth" and still accept you, at least insofar as continuing the sexual encounter?

*shrug*

And right about there, with those questions for you to ponder, is about where I should bow out since my interest in such psychological factors has typically been how to aid someone in overcoming unhealthy self-judgment.
 
PuckIt said:
Way, way back in the time before time, I didn't just think, I knew that I had a small penis. All I had to do was look around the locker room and see the way the rest of the guys dangled. Obviously, we weren't hard or even semi-hard. (Er, most of us.) And I had absolutely no concept of "grower" versus "shower" at the time and assumed the rest of the guys must grow as proportionally as I did.


If they had, one or two could have lined up three cheerleaders and poked the third.


Well, as so often happens in those formative years, I was curious. And I got my hands on... *cough* some materials. Naturally, it didn't help too much that this was during the time of Long Dong Silver and his eighteen inches of penile pulchritude. However, I got my hands on some textual references that I probably shouldn't have and discovered that nine inches (length) was the bare minimum acceptable to satisfy a woman.


Late one night, while the rest of the house was asleep, I snuck into the hall closet, into my Mother's sewing box for her flexible cloth tape measure, and measured every which way imaginable.


And burst into tears when I came up an inch and half short of that magical number. I seriously considered suicide for the first time. (I was young and impressionable and everything was the possible end of the world.) At first, I did some research into how I could possibly fix this problem; to wit, become larger. However, as is often the case, the medical corrections generally had side effects worse than what they were treating.


Whether fortunately or unfortunately, I came across some other researches that seemed to indicate there were other things I could do to win and keep the interest of that ephemeral future woman. And I became an avid student, although my researches were, naturally, solo independent studies.


When I did finally have the opportunity to experience everything (after I was eighteen), ... well, my penis size didn't seem to be all that relevant anymore. Not if I didn't allow it to be.


Rather than bore with a whole bunch of only tangentially relevant information, I'll just say there was one gal I spent three hours driving through more orgasms than she believed was possible. Without ever taking my pants off. Only the once, though. Generally, at some point, my penis was going to come into play.


Through some more studies, I actually came to understand that my own size was somewhere around average, depending on the study, and even a tad over. When erect. When flaccid, no. There was almost literally no dangle to angle. And I had a pretty serious phobia about being seen unerect because of it.


Years later, I became entangled with the woman I refer to as Love, my now deceased wife of over two decades. And she was the first person to ever comment on my size at all. No one else had ever commented, neither how small or how large or just right I may or may not have been. So, in my mind, that meant that my size must have been unsatisfactory. Or they would have commented. Right? I mean, that's what they do in porn. :)rolleyes:)

And... well... let's just say that the word I heard was that the ex was just certain that I must have been larger for her to leave him for me, when the opposite was actually true. That he had a good couple of inches on me. And was a shower as opposed to a grower. (Of course, he couldn't admit that it was because he had abused her mentally, emotionally, and physically and had been fucking anything that would hold still since just a month after they exchanged vows. So, it had to be I was better endowed. :rolleyes:)

Several years later, I had the dubious pleasure of being present for the after procedure briefing with her OB/GYN post hysterectomy. And got a rather pointed glare over the top of her glasses when she mentioned years of uterine bruising. :eek:


(In my defense, I would be willing to bet that five-inch Freddy Kruger claws in your ass cheeks would spur you harder and deeper too!)

Now, the thing is, a long, long time earlier when I was still in college, I'd taken no less than three college courses in sexuality. And in one of them, we talked about the fact that just as men come in various sizes, so too do women come in various sizes. It's just not as readily apparent because their channel is inside while ours is outside. So, we don't really think about it.


Hell, I knew it and I didn't think about it.

I commented to Love something along the lines that her ex must have done it. And she laughed her ass off. From what she told me, he might have had more inches hanging, but he didn't bother to put as many of them inside her. (shrug)

We'd been together for a long, long time by that point. But, it was the first she knew that I'd had those hidden doubts about my own size. And she managed to get me to admit, for the first time out loud, that that was most likely the driving reason for just how hard I drove myself (all puns intended) to satisfy my lovers.

Any road, I know that seems like a whole bunch of shit that doesn't have anything to do with the question at hand, but bear with me for just another moment.

I've just today posted elsewhere that degradation and humiliation on either side is a hard limit for me. I just can't and won't be a willing participant.

However, I do know a tad bit about how it works.

I'm not going to get all technical and clinical here in investigating the psychological underpinnings of a need to be humiliated generally or small penis humiliation specifically. You can Google and find reams of research on the subject of sexual humiliation in the psychological journals if such is your bent. Rather less specifically on Small Penis Humiliation, but the roots of other humiliations still remain germane.

However as far as your questions for yourself, what I would posit might be worth thinking about is two things;

1_ IS your penis actually undersized? That is, less than five inches?

2_ How is it exactly that you, yourself, respond to humiliation in other venues? Do you accept it as a challenge, something to rise above and disprove? Or as something that you've long accepted about yourself and are just looking to see if they also recognize what you believe to be "truth" and still accept you, at least insofar as continuing the sexual encounter?

*shrug*

And right about there, with those questions for you to ponder, is about where I should bow out since my interest in such psychological factors has typically been how to aid someone in overcoming unhealthy self-judgment.
Click to expand...
These are all good thoughts.
I’ve been separating my submissive (bedroom) side from general life; irk if someone humiliated me I want to punch them in the mouth.

As far as my dick, I don’t have a medical condition it’s. . . Fine?
 
whenagain said:
These are all good thoughts.
I’ve been separating my submissive (bedroom) side from general life; irk if someone humiliated me I want to punch them in the mouth.

As far as my dick, I don’t have a medical condition it’s. . . Fine?
Click to expand...


I used to be a phone sex operator and this was a common theme. I didn't seek out guys to humiliate - in fact, I have a tough time with it. I want to prop you up and tell you you're amazing and bake you a cake because, gosh darn it, you deserve it! But it was more common than I realized.

What is your question, specifically?

I'm wondering how you get off on it. I mean, what do you want your partner to do? Is the goal to... what? Make you cry? Work harder to satisfy your partner in other ways? Be exposed???

As a weird side note (I've mentioned this before) - my husband had Erectile Dysfunction. It was a drag but man, he worked it. He was very Toppy and kinky and he'd have ME in tears working harder and harder on his cock to get it hard. But it would never get hard. It was great, frustrating fun. :devil: So I do understand the humiliation angle.
 
cookiecat said:
I used to be a phone sex operator and this was a common theme. I didn't seek out guys to humiliate - in fact, I have a tough time with it. I want to prop you up and tell you you're amazing and bake you a cake because, gosh darn it, you deserve it! But it was more common than I realized.

What is your question, specifically?

I'm wondering how you get off on it. I mean, what do you want your partner to do? Is the goal to... what? Make you cry? Work harder to satisfy your partner in other ways? Be exposed???

As a weird side note (I've mentioned this before) - my husband had Erectile Dysfunction. It was a drag but man, he worked it. He was very Toppy and kinky and he'd have ME in tears working harder and harder on his cock to get it hard. But it would never get hard. It was great, frustrating fun. :devil: So I do understand the humiliation angle.
Click to expand...
I guess my question is such: how common is this (which apparently it’s pretty common) and do other people with this fetish also struggle with whether it’s. . . Okay?
As for the end goal, the feeling of being exposed, and having to work harder for my partner is huge. I don’t want to be made to cry, but I also don’t want any control of the situation; it is very up to whomever is doing this how playful/mean things get.
 
I got a PM from someone begging me to make fun of his 4 inch cock.

Delete.
 
Farawyn said:
I got a PM from someone begging me to make fun of his 4 inch cock.

Delete.
Click to expand...

Did he want you to wear those puffy white nurse shoes while doing it? Enquiring minds want to know.

Actually... putting puffy white nurse shoes together with small penis humiliation reminds me...


I think this was about '92, not really sure. But, I was working overnights at an MR facility to supplement my income from my day job as a caseworker at a lockup facility.


I was chatting with the nurse on duty while she was doing inventory or something in the drug closet. And I looked over and saw...


Ok, so, seriously. This looked like a stack of cut off pinky fingers from size small rubber gloves. And I, being the curious soul that I am, asked what the hell they were for.


I've never been completely certain whether she was joking or not when she told me they were condoms XXS. I mean, seriously. I tried putting one on my pinky and it split.

Me, being me, I had to ask; "You mean, they really come that small?"

She assured me that her ex was.

I set it down and walked away, whistling. And swore I would ever after be more careful just what questions I asked who. Still working on that, however.
 
whenagain said:
Yeah, I think because it’s a “weird” fetish, many guys who enjoy it have zero idea how to behave.
Click to expand...

All fetish is a bit weird.
And you and I have chatted. You’ve never once been innappropriate or pushy. It’s not the fetish.
Its the dude.
 
PuckIt said:
Did he want you to wear those puffy white nurse shoes while doing it? Enquiring minds want to know.

Actually... putting puffy white nurse shoes together with small penis humiliation reminds me...


I think this was about '92, not really sure. But, I was working overnights at an MR facility to supplement my income from my day job as a caseworker at a lockup facility.


I was chatting with the nurse on duty while she was doing inventory or something in the drug closet. And I looked over and saw...


Ok, so, seriously. This looked like a stack of cut off pinky fingers from size small rubber gloves. And I, being the curious soul that I am, asked what the hell they were for.


I've never been completely certain whether she was joking or not when she told me they were condoms XXS. I mean, seriously. I tried putting one on my pinky and it split.

Me, being me, I had to ask; "You mean, they really come that small?"

She assured me that her ex was.

I set it down and walked away, whistling. And swore I would ever after be more careful just what questions I asked who. Still working on that, however.
Click to expand...

Condom Caths. They were probably pediatric size.
We use those for the Irish guys.

KIDDING!!!
*runs*
 
whenagain said:
Yeah, I think because it’s a “weird” fetish, many guys who enjoy it have zero idea how to behave.
Click to expand...

Mmm. Yes, and at the same time no.

First of all, it is rather a more common fetish than most people realize. If you doubt, then I challenge you to come up with a better answer for why there are so many free and for purchase tubes available across the infernal net. Logically speaking, if it weren't a widespread enough fetish that there was money rolling in from it, then the entrepreneurial young web-cam models wouldn't be spending so much time engaging in it.


However... However, even if it were "a 'weird' fetish" which not so large a percentage of the potential economy were willing to spend their hard earned money on, still it would not ever excuse anyone trying to force their fetish on someone else. Period.


Discussing it in open forum is one thing.


Approaching someone privately who have expressed an interest in such publicly first is one thing.


Deciding to slap your wee willie against someone's screen to get your personal needs met regardless of their own is the very definition of sexual abuse.


Pause and consider the ramifications of that for a minute. A self-defined sexual masochist reveling in sexual humiliation generally or small penis humiliation specifically FORCING their own needs to be mistreated on someone else. :confused:

Or is their masochism more in being told "Fuck off, asshole?!"


Any road, I'm just saying that an asshat with a small dick and an outre fetish is still an asshat and shouldn't be excused for their abyssmal behavior.
 
Oh yeah I wasn’t excusing anything, just noticing how a lot of dudes with more submissive tendencies don’t always realize that just because they aren’t being traditionally aggro doesn’t mean they can’t still be creepy and abusive.
 
whenagain said:
Oh yeah I wasn’t excusing anything, just noticing how a lot of dudes with more submissive tendencies don’t always realize that just because they aren’t being traditionally aggro doesn’t mean they can’t still be creepy and abusive.
Click to expand...

VERY valid point.

Actually, thinking on it, this is sort of a point I was trying to make in a thread by Seela about unintentional D/s...

Hmmm...
 
Like if you “submit” without consent or reading the room, that’s a bad look and very invasive.
 
whenagain said:
So I’ve been trying to engage purposely with my kinks as of late, and one I always come back to is SPH— small penis humiliation. I don’t-like- that I like this, but it’s definitely there, and I find all convos online about it are:
Guys clearly typing with one hand hoping for a sentence or two they can jerk off to . . . Or
Women trying to get money from those same guys.

Which is fine! Jerk off! Get money! But this feels like a weird one and I’m wondering if anyone has insight, from either side.
Click to expand...
Don't know what your problem is, you should make the best of what you have and if you can improve it ok but if not move on. Humiliation is a mind game and if you accept what you are and have you cannot be humiliated.
It sounds like you have something pretty normal to sissy.
You should be sissy 1.5 inches long and when it use to get exercised it was a whopping 2.5 or 3 inches long.
 
SissySalina said:
Don't know what your problem is, you should make the best of what you have and if you can improve it ok but if not move on. Humiliation is a mind game and if you accept what you are and have you cannot be humiliated.
It sounds like you have something pretty normal to sissy.
You should be sissy 1.5 inches long and when it use to get exercised it was a whopping 2.5 or 3 inches long.
Click to expand...
I’m trying to make the best of it, hence this thread.
 
whenagain said:
I’m trying to make the best of it, hence this thread.
Click to expand...

I'm wondering if this thread would get more traction in the Talk section or even in the Fetish forum, simply because there are more people in that forum.
 
cookiecat said:
I'm wondering if this thread would get more traction in the Talk section or even in the Fetish forum, simply because there are more people in that forum.
Click to expand...


It might— I’ll start something over there. I hope it wasn’t inappropriate to bring this here. :/
 
whenagain said:
It might— I’ll start something over there. I hope it wasn’t inappropriate to bring this here. :/
Click to expand...

Not at all. I just think topics like this might get lost in all the picture threads. Plus, there aren't a ton of male subs here at the moment. I could bump Honeys Gentle Domme conversation thread and bring it up there, see what happens???

It seems you want perspective from others dealing with this issue. I'm just super curious about the subject. Maybe it's not so much about small penis specifically, but the feelings surrounding being humiliated for a lack of something. Sexualizing those feelings.

Anyways. Hope the conversation continues.
 
cookiecat said:
Not at all. I just think topics like this might get lost in all the picture threads. Plus, there aren't a ton of male subs here at the moment. I could bump Honeys Gentle Domme conversation thread and bring it up there, see what happens???

It seems you want perspective from others dealing with this issue. I'm just super curious about the subject. Maybe it's not so much about small penis specifically, but the feelings surrounding being humiliated for a lack of something. Sexualizing those feelings.

Anyways. Hope the conversation continues.
Click to expand...
Thanks. Ftr, I’m interested in hearing both from male subs and women who’ve encountered this fetish.

For me it has a lot to do with 1) the woman’s desire and 2) eroticizing my fears of inadequacy.
 
cookiecat said:
Not at all. I just think topics like this might get lost in all the picture threads. Plus, there aren't a ton of male subs here at the moment. I could bump Honeys Gentle Domme conversation thread and bring it up there, see what happens???

It seems you want perspective from others dealing with this issue. I'm just super curious about the subject. Maybe it's not so much about small penis specifically, but the feelings surrounding being humiliated for a lack of something. Sexualizing those feelings.

Anyways. Hope the conversation continues.
Click to expand...

Some years ago, a guy online wanted me to humiliate him. He even told me specifically what to say. I did say the first two things that he wanted but then it had to end. I am just not into that. Not at all. I like to make people feel good!
 
Jada59 said:
Some years ago, a guy online wanted me to humiliate him. He even told me specifically what to say. I did say the first two things that he wanted but then it had to end. I am just not into that. Not at all. I like to make people feel good!
Click to expand...


But but but - that's what YOU want. Your definition of "making people feel good." Right??

For sure, if it wasn't for you, then it's not for you. So you were right to stop and not do something you didn't enjoy.

But some folks, me included, get off on humiliation. And feeling "bad" makes me feel good.

Just a different perspective about what making people "feel good" means.
 
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