Balladeer08
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Nov 3, 2010
- Posts
- 4,101
My head is the third hand that rubs me raw.
I'll kiss it and make it better.
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My head is the third hand that rubs me raw.
Without question, the most absurd thing that has happened to me at work to date:
I used to work on an all men's residential ward. One of the men who lived there masturbated almost constantly, and he preferred to do it in public. We would try redirecting him to his bedroom or the restroom, but he would keep returning to a spot in the middle of the hall.
I was coming back from break, and I heard a new staffer yell from the back bedroom area that another resident was having a seizure. I ran towards her...
And slipped in a puddle of semen. Then landed, on my ass, in said puddle.
OK, I didn't learn this one in my CNA class. Please tell me, what is a scrotum hammock? This could come in handy - lots of our post-op rehab cases have grotesquely swollen scrotums.
Unanswered question of the day: can men with Down Syndrome have intercourse? (Just the physiology. I'm not going into the "should" today.) None of us, with about 100 combined years of experience, have ever seen one even get an erection. Or masturbate. (And some of our clients do nothing but.) These are the things we talk about while waiting for meetings to start.
Next time put a wet floor sign in front of his jack spot.Without question, the most absurd thing that has happened to me at work to date:
I used to work on an all men's residential ward. One of the men who lived there masturbated almost constantly, and he preferred to do it in public. We would try redirecting him to his bedroom or the restroom, but he would keep returning to a spot in the middle of the hall.
I was coming back from break, and I heard a new staffer yell from the back bedroom area that another resident was having a seizure. I ran towards her...
And slipped in a puddle of semen. Then landed, on my ass, in said puddle.
We are typing about edematous balls tonight. They are not blue. They usually have a translucent look to them.Oh boy, it's blueball again!
We are typing about edematous balls tonight. They are not blue. They usually have a translucent look to them.
A Portrait of the Ball Nurse?Somehow, I expect this to put James Joyce to shame.
I just now decided to call my new CD "Scrotum Hammock"
I know that Walmart won't stock it but fuck 'em
so there
I wash my hands!Sweepthefloor is a dirty whore
Further compliments forthcoming.
CT scan at shift change and I want to go home. The fresh RT relieves the dayshift RT, and I wondered when in the world my fresh RN would show up and relieve me.
The fresh RT asks me: Want to hear a funny story?
I figured he must have been joking. I had no lip-gloss on and my face was frazzled and moist with the effort. I didn’t have a neuron left to fake a laugh.
He wasn’t joking, so I said: Ok.
He said: It’s a trauma drama. One day a man was driving with a woman. She was in a compromising position, if you know what I mean. He slammed his car right into the back of a dump truck. They were both admitted to the ICU, in rooms right next to each other.
I asked: What do you mean, compromising position? Were they unrestrained in the vehicle?
He said: You know what I mean.
I said: No, I don’t.
He said: He was distracted.
I said: Her head was in his lap?
He said: Yeap.
My face turned pink, and then I felt the blood draining from my face.
I asked: Did she amputate his manhood off during the collision?
He said: No.
I asked: Did her head get crushed?
He said: Her head was rammed into the steering wheel, but it wasn’t crushed.
I felt better.
I asked: So what happened?
He said: It turns out that during the resuscitation everyone assumed that these two trauma patients were a couple.
I asked: They weren’t?
He said: No. The patients were identified and the wife came in.
I said: No way. What happened?
He said: The two families started fighting because the wife was calling the female a slut in the hallway. We had to separate the patients to opposite ends of the unit.
I said: This isn’t funny at all. What’s the point of this story?
He said: I guess, don’t put yourself in a compromising position while driving.
Makes sense. I don't think 'Good Samaritan' law applies in this situation.True story.... years ago I was driving late at night in an urban area and a big sedan in front of me missed the bend in the road and hit the guard rail pretty hard. I stopped and ran up to see if anyone was injured. I glanced and saw that the driver was getting head. The woman in his lap was making noises like she was hurt but the guy (who looked extremely angry) yelled for me to get the F out of there.
Now you've got to realize that while the Sopranos is a TV show, it is based on reality and sometimes in NJ it pays to get the F out if there when you're told to..... so I got back in my car and drove off
Makes sense. I don't think 'Good Samaritan' law applies in this situation.
Who wants to study with me?
Primary Assessment
A- *Airway with Cervical spine protection.
B- Breathing
C-i
D-Disability (Neuro)
E-Expose/Environmental control: Take off clothing and keep patient warm
Secondary Assessment
F-Full set vitals/Family presence/Focused adjuncts: monitor/cath/g-tube
G-Give comfort: pain management
H-History/Head-to-toe assessment
I-Inspect posterior surfaces-Maintain c-spine protection. Do not logroll the patient onto the side with the injured extremity.
*I bet every test question will revolve around this.
*That is his manhood blocking my airway and his hands on my neck, or something.
Scary stuff.
Hahaha! I hope you weren't injured!