Who is yo daddy?

Nope, no no no no. You cannot make that sweeping generalization:

Its age play. Its pretending to be a child or exhibiting childlike qualities. Examples: dressing young, wearing diapers, using pacifiers, bedtimes, story times, pouting, tantrums

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For some, yes.

For many more - no.

His question was what the difference between daddy dom / little girl is vs. traditional dom/sub dynamic. I don't see that he was interested in anything about do we have a relationship that sexualizes children.

If you are not being sexualized as a child in your relationship then he is not asking about your relationship which means my answer is not pertaining to your relationship.

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I don't think any of us who've answered are being sexualized as a child within our relationships.

I appreciate that DsMhousewife was trying to simplify things but this was way way too cliche and I think it plays in to the misunderstood stereotypes of Daddy / little girl.

DsMhousewife said:

Heres the full quote...

I think its impossible to put all relationships in a bubble. But i was only answering a question the best way i knew how. Same as the rest of you answered the question the best way you knew how. Not trying to pigeon hold anyone, offend anyone, anger anyone, hurt anyone. I was just trying to simplify. Best wishes to all, seriously.

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I don't think anyone begrudges you your opinion. I think that the common theme that began to emerge from the thread was that, while there are perceptions or commonalities to this dynamic, the reality is far more varied and complex, depending on the participants.

You said, no, it's not really that varied or complex, it's age play, and has requisite age-play trappings. But you didn't present any evidence for that, and in fact, the people who have chimed in so far provide contradictory, if anecdotal evidence.

I think that's why you felt some blowback.

Don't be deterred from posting in the thread, just buttress your argument.

Just don't generalize anything you can't quantify on the spot in general. E.g You can say psychopaths as a whole are violent because that's a character trait that must necessarily be over-abundant to categorize somebody as a psychopath. There's a definitive necessity for that to be the case.

But you can't say that mentally ill people who kill people shouldn't be prosecuted to the fullest extent because they're mentally ill, due to the fact that "mentally ill" doesn't necessarily mean lack of lucidity, comprehension of the weight of their actions or detachment from reality. There's no prerequisite to being "mentally ill" that demands diminished responsibility due to the ambiguity of the term.
With the D/Lg dynamic, as many people have explained, it has far more variables than simply any age fantasizing.

I'm sure there's a simpler way of explaining this...
This be the curse of an over-analytical brain.

Deleted

^^^^ Now that is a helpful and interesting contribution to this thread.
Thank you for being specific in sharing your experiences and observations in your social group of DD/lg couples.

My panties are totally unwadded.

I don't wear panties so.....

Yes, that brings your statement from 'generalized' to a specific cross-section of DD/lg relationships. As with anything else there are extremes, and it seems this is what you've been exposed to. They do exist.

Thank you for clarifying and contributing to the conversation.

Wondering what I missed...

Panties wadding again rapidly.

ToPleaseHim said:

Wondering what I missed...

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I know, right?
Damn you, Net Nanny! Damn you straight to hell!

I always feel a little... bad when someone deletes posts because they feel jumped on. I like different points of view and a lively debate!

Online requires a thick skin and a sassy attitude. Bummer about deleting.

cookiecat said:

I always feel a little... bad when someone deletes posts because they feel jumped on. I like different points of view and a lively debate!

Online requires a thick skin and a sassy attitude. Bummer about deleting.

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I totally agree. I do not like it when someone deletes his posts too; it makes everyone involved in the conversation to look stupid for taking the time to post.

Miasorrow said:

I totally agree. I do not like it when someone deletes his posts too; it makes everyone involved in the conversation to look stupid for taking the time to post.

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And really, all we have here are words. All else is dust.
(Plus, I'm nosey, and I want to see why there is wadding or unwadding. Or something.)

cascadiabound said:

^^^^ Now that is a helpful and interesting contribution to this thread.
Thank you for being specific in sharing your experiences and observations in your social group of DD/lg couples.

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cb, you are very eloquent. You seem to be a strong woman, and this is something that has recently cropped up for me as I (mostly) lurk here. Or if any of you have any thoughts on this, please chime in.

On other message boards, or in RL, if someone likes me, it is because of who I am. Is the case the same with this type of lifestyle, or will be it more because of what I want?

Does the lifestyle trump personalities? And if so, and my tendencies are submissive, how do I make room for that as a strong woman.
I'm not new to Me. I am new to these feelings. Or, being open about them, at least.

Also, if I'm derailing from DD/lg, I'm sorry.
I like the responses in this thread and I figured I would ask Those Who Seem To Know.

Help?
Thanks.

cascadiabound said:

^^^^ Now that is a helpful and interesting contribution to this thread.
Thank you for being specific in sharing your experiences and observations in your social group of DD/lg couples.

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I am now wishing that I quoted her rather than pointing to her quote, as I thought her contribution to the thread in the post I pointed to was excellent.

Because I think her POV was valuable and otherwise not represented by the posters here, I am going to try to summarize her post.

DsMhousewife noted that she is in a group of a number of couples that practice D/s and a subset of these (I think she said 8) were of the DD/lg in their orientation. These couples do engage in age play behaviours as she listed in her first post (see where I quoted her initially), though she indicated that these dyads did not necessarily engage in ALL of these behaviors (more like any given couple might engage in some combination of the list). She commented that she found these relationships loving and enjoyed witnessing them.
At the very end of her post she noted that she had not intended to upset anyone with her posts and she hoped that our panties were unwadded and wet.

Any failure on my part to capture her meaning - I apologize for outright. I was very very grateful that she came back and posted her specific experiences. This, I believe is exactly what BDSM Talk is for~ sharing our experiences, asking questions, having a place to see where our understandings over lap and not.

If there are others who have engaged in DD/lg age play and for whom this is the way you enjoy this kink - I would love to hear about your experience of this. Why it appeals to you - what about it works for you etc.
Just because it is not for me, does not mean I am not interested in it.
These voices belong here too.

Gianbattista said:

Take 'em off?

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How will I figure out what I'm feeling?

Miasorrow said:

I totally agree. I do not like it when someone deletes his posts too; it makes everyone involved in the conversation to look stupid for taking the time to post.

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I see what you did there.

Farawyn said:

cb, you are very eloquent. You seem to be a strong woman, and this is something that has recently cropped up for me as I (mostly) lurk here. Or if any of you have any thoughts on this, please chime in.

On other message boards, or in RL, if someone likes me, it is because of who I am. Is the case the same with this type of lifestyle, or will be it more because of what I want?

Does the lifestyle trump personalities? And if so, and my tendencies are submissive, how do I make room for that as a strong woman.
I'm not new to Me. I am new to these feelings. Or, being open about them, at least.

Also, if I'm derailing from DD/lg, I'm sorry.
I like the responses in this thread and I figured I would ask Those Who Seem To Know.

Help?
Thanks.

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Since you seem to be asking me, Farawyn ~ I will take a stab at responding to your question.

IMO we are who we ARE first and always. This is always true in any relationship. So no, I do not believe lifestyle trumps personalities.
Exception: I think it is possible to have kink encounters that are simply about getting your "itch" scratched separate and apart from whether or not your personality meshes with your play partner.

I am, and I think a surprising number of women who figure out they are sexually submissive are personally powerful, competent, etc. And in my experience, the men who are interested in interacting with me are those who appreciate my intellect, my ability to be an equal with them and also willingly submit to them. This - to a certain kind of man and a certain kind of Dom, is the best kind of sub to be. My husband would certainly say so.

I would suggest that you should never sell yourself short. If someone is not interacting with you with respect for who you are AS A PERSON... your whole self - apart from your kink interests - RUN AWAY.
It is the same as in vanilla relationships. you could have perfectly nice straight up sex with Mr. Smith, but if you can't stand to be in the same room with them - why the hell would you want to bother?

Farawyn said:

On other message boards, or in RL, if someone likes me, it is because of who I am. Is the case the same with this type of lifestyle, or will be it more because of what I want?

Does the lifestyle trump personalities? And if so, and my tendencies are submissive, how do I make room for that as a strong woman.
I'm not new to Me. I am new to these feelings. Or, being open about them, at least.

Help?
Thanks.

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This is a great question and probably needs a whole 'nother thread because it's important to sort out.

Submissive doesn't mean you lose you. Just like in your vanilla life, you'll gravitate to people who like what you like. One of the nifty things about bdsm is you can explore a ton of things. You don't have to be in a relationship or dating someone in order to have a new experience. That, for me, was an "aha' moment... you can get a really great spanking from someone just to get spanked.

Online is a good way to explore. It's a pretty safe place to talk about stuff.

When I first entered the "lifestyle" 10 years ago, I just kinda liked rough sex and wanted to be bossed around in the bedroom. Now, I realize submission - for me - is being in service. Not just sexually and not just within a relationship. I enjoy making people around me happy. Prior to thinking of myself as submissive, I didn't think much about it. I'm sure I was a kind person, but now, I feel a lot more thoughtful about being a better listener, being a better friend or daughter or wife/slut

For sure, being submissive means you are a strong person. Playing the cliche doormat can be fun for a night. But to give up control to someone else, to truly put someone else's pleasure before yours takes a strong person.

Ultimately, the lifestyle does NOT trump personality. You are you. As you figure stuff out, your point of view might change. Growth is good!

Hope this helps a little?!

cascadiabound - jinx!!

I am not holding any profound experience on the subject matter apart from certain encounters I have had ( I guess I am self-made!), but I think that a man (you can call him anything you like), finds his woman, hunts her down and drags her to his cave. She asks questions before being "dragged", he asks questions after.

cookiecat said:

cascadiabound - jinx!!

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cookiecat - jinx!!!!

Miasorrow said:

I am not holding any profound experience on the subject matter apart from certain encounters I have had ( I guess I am self-made!), but I think that a man (you can call him anything you like), finds his woman, hunts her down and drags her to his cave. She asks questions before being "dragged", he asks questions after.

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Hahahahaha!

Thank you, all.