A Joke A Day
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slutindianwife
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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?”
The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married.
One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina.
That’s how you get a baby, honey.”
The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”
“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”
The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married.
One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina.
That’s how you get a baby, honey.”
The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”
“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”
Wkd_Macey
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Azuldrgon
Big Blue Guy
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PapaRomantic
Writing away...
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These two gorgeous blondes walked into a bar shouting at the top of their lungs, "51 days! 51 days!" They went to the bar and ordered a couple of pitchers of beer, and took them to one of the tables, still shouting "51 days!"
Soon four more blondes joined them. They gave each other hugs and high fives, still shouting "51 days!" as they drank their beer.
The bartender was going nuts right now trying to figure out what they were celebrating. One of the blondes come and ordered another pitcher of beer, but before she could take it back to the table, the bartender said, "What are you celebrating?"
The blonde answered, "We belong to a puzzle club. Today we finished a puzzle, and on the box, it said '5-7 years.' We put it together in only 51 days!!!!"
Soon four more blondes joined them. They gave each other hugs and high fives, still shouting "51 days!" as they drank their beer.
The bartender was going nuts right now trying to figure out what they were celebrating. One of the blondes come and ordered another pitcher of beer, but before she could take it back to the table, the bartender said, "What are you celebrating?"
The blonde answered, "We belong to a puzzle club. Today we finished a puzzle, and on the box, it said '5-7 years.' We put it together in only 51 days!!!!"
yellow_rose71
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Q. What kind of pictures do turtles take?
A. Shellfies!
A. Shellfies!
Wkd_Macey
Miss
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Groan
- lol OK - try this...
My first boyfriend asked me if I would do Missionary for him, so I f***ed off to Africa for six months
Last edited:
Wkd_Macey
Miss
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One for the Engineers (whatever that means )
A group of engineers were discussing the various merits and advantages of different types of engine in terms of performance and efficiency.
The debate became more and more heated until finally, to settle the argument, one guy announced that the most efficient engine in the world is the human vagina. The others looked at him stunned as he added...
Well, it can be started with just one finger, is self lubricating, can accept a piston of any size, and will run all night on just one bottle of beaujolais.
)A group of engineers were discussing the various merits and advantages of different types of engine in terms of performance and efficiency.
The debate became more and more heated until finally, to settle the argument, one guy announced that the most efficient engine in the world is the human vagina. The others looked at him stunned as he added...
Well, it can be started with just one finger, is self lubricating, can accept a piston of any size, and will run all night on just one bottle of beaujolais.
Pantyboy74
Flirty not Dirty.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: 'Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!"
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to the man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to the man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
adrina
Heretic
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So three dudes (yeah it's always the dudes, isn't it) are stuck on a deserted island. They're walking along trying to trudge their way to water when they hear FOO FOO! And splop! the guy in front gets a giant dollop of bird shit on him. Swearing he wipes it off. Before you know it, a wild jungle cat comes out of the thick and snaps his neck and drags him off into the brush. The other two visibly shaken continue. Again... FOO FOO! and again, one of the two gets covered in bird shit. Not amused, he wipes himself off and they continue on. Suddenly storm clouds form, thunder rolls in and lightning strikes the 2nd bird shit victim dead. Third guy is freaking out by now but he's got to find water so he continues on. Again... FOO FOO! and SPLOP! "Well fuck" he thinks as he goes about wiping off the mess. Clean enough he continues on, but steps into a pool of quicksand and sinks to his death.
Moral of the story: If the Foo Shits, Wear it.
Moral of the story: If the Foo Shits, Wear it.
Wkd_Macey
Miss
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... If the Foo Shits...
Thanks Adrina
Nice to see I'm not the only one wasting my time here
OK- Try this one...
An old man and his beautiful 22 year old bride arrived at a hotel for the first night of their honeymoon, and as they sat down to dinner the other guests exchanged glances, passing comments about how long they expected the old guy would last in the company of such an obviously vibrant young lady. So after the newlywed couple retired for the evening the remaining guests began taking bets.
However, in the morning, the old guy came tripping down to the breakfast buffet alone. Amazed, and concerned for their investment, the other guests began to ask after his young wife. 'Oh, she's resting' he said. 'She'll be down shortly I should think' he told them.
Almost an hour later, the young bride stumbled into the room to meet her elderly husband who had finished his breakfast and sat patiently waiting for her. Her eyes looked drawn, her face was flushed, and her hair was ruffled and untidy.
One of the lady guests quickly went over to intercept her with 'My poor dear girl. What on earth happened to you?' The young bride looked at her in stunned silence for a moment, then eventually managed to say 'He told me he'd been saving up. I thought he meant money!'
yellow_rose71
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Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?
It got caught in a crack.
It got caught in a crack.
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