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LIT CAMS (200 Free Tokens)ADULT TOYSVOD MOVIES

Let's tickle the funny bones :)

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
 
funh971.jpg
 
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent
to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
 
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
 
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
 
Little Johnny was heard by his mother reciting his homework: "Two plus two, the son of a bitch is four; four plus four, the son of a bitch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a bitch...'"

"Johnny !" shouted his mother. "Watch your language! You're not allowed to use the swearwords."

"But, Mom," replied the boy, "that's what the teacher taught us, and she said to recite it out loud till we learned it."

Next day Johnny's mother went right into the classroom to complain. "Oh, heavens!" said the teacher. "That's not what I taught them. They're supposed to say, 'Two plus two, the sum of which is four.' "
 
The teacher at the beginning of the class says:
"OK kids, we are going to talk about sexual education today. First we'll talk about how the human reproduction goes on..."

Immediately, little Johnny raises his hand, and desperately tries to get the teacher's attention. But the teacher, knowing how little Johnny is about these things, goes on...

"... First, a man a woman have to be in love... " But little Johny keeps his hand up, waving it up and down, and from one side to the other one.

The teacher ignores him.."..They have to be very much in love because..."

But now little Johnny even starts making noise with his feet, so the teacher decides to acknowledge him:

" OK, little Johnny. What do you want to say."

Little Johnny then stands up, and says:
"I just wanted to ask. Those of us who have already
fucked,can we leave?"
 
One day the teacher came to class with a rose placed
in her cleavage.

She asked, "Can anyone tell me what roses drink? How
about you, Johnny ?"

"Milk!" answered Little Johnny.

"No, I'm sorry. That's the wrong answer. Roses drink
water," explained the
teacher.

"Wow!" Johnny exclaimed. "I didn't know the stem was
that long!"
 
Johnny's parents were out of town once and so they asked that young female teacher to stay for that time in their house.

Before going to bed Johnny says to her "Oh, please, I'm so afraid to be by myself, please, sleep in my bed."

She agrees, they go to bed.

In the morning she wakes up to find a big hairy-chested man in her bed.

She exclaims: "Johnny? Where is Johnny?!!!"

"Johnny? Who is Johnny? Is that the little boy selling the tickets outside?"
 
Math Class

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question..
"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left ?"
"None.", replied Johnny. "'cause the rest would fly away."
"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher. "But I like the way you are thinking."
Little Johnny said, "I have a question for you now. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one licking her cone, the second biting her cone, and the third one sucking her cone, which one is married ?
Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone?"
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger. But I like the way you are thinking.
 
Confused Little johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that "Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the differences between boys and girls,
and would his mother, "please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this."

So johnny's mother takes him quietly, by the hand, upstairs to her bedroom, and closes the door..

- first, johnny, you take off my blouse....

so unbuttons her blouse and takes it off..
- ok, now take off my skirt....
and he takes off her skirt..
- now take off my bra....
which he does..
- and now, johnny, please take off my panties..

and when johnny finishes removing those, she says,
"johnny, PLEASE don't wear any of my clothes to school
any more!"
 
Late one night, little Johnny woke up to the some loud noises coming from his parents' bedroom. He got out of bed and walked down the hall towards his parents room. Before he made it to the end of the hall, the noises had ceased and the bathroom light had gone on..

Little Johnny walked into the bathroom and saw his father removing a used condom..
"Daddy, what are you doing?" asked little Johnny..
His father looked around nervously wondering what he could tell his son..
I, um, I'm just checking out the bathroom for mice." replied his father..
Johnny looked at his father with a gaze of confusion and said, "Well, what are you doing? Fucking them?"
 
Hey....I'vent been here for some time ......and back now to tickle your funny bones...LOL.

and howz you ? Hope you r doing fine....
 
Little Johnny sees his Daddy's car passing the playground and going into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane kissing.
Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly.

"MOMMY, MOMMY, I WAS AT THE PLAYGROUND AND DADDY AND..."
Mommy tells him to slow down, but that she wants to hear the story.

So Johnny tells her. "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went to look and Daddy was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane laid down on the seat, then Daddy..."

At this point, Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."

At the dinner table, Mommy asks Johnny to tell his story. He describes the car into the woods, the undressing, lying down on the seat, and, "then Daddy and Aunt Jane did that same thing Mommy and Uncle Jeff used to do when Daddy was in the Army."
 
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