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As The Hospital Pervs

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I know what you mean about the cloud. I don't know if it comes in threes, but it comes in batches.

Confusion! Here's a perver story: The patient was extubated and still looped from the drugs. He wanted the call bell. The family was trying to explain the usage of the call bell.

I made it simple. If you push this button the nurse comes.

He pushed the button.

I said: It works, see I am right here. I came.

The family looked at me funny. The man just kept pushing the button. He was confused.

BeachMomma said:
Apparently he likes assertive nurses. He's been flirting with me ever since. It's becoming funny as hell. I might have to ramp up my assertiveness techniques and see how he reacts. :D
Click to expand...
Your assertiveness probably relieves some of his pressure, and maybe he appreciates it. :kiss:
 
sweepthefloor said:
I know what you mean about the cloud. I don't know if it comes in threes, but it comes in batches.

Confusion! Here's a perver story: The patient was extubated and still looped from the drugs. He wanted the call bell. The family was trying to explain the usage of the call bell.

I made it simple. If you push this button the nurse comes.

He pushed the button.

I said: It works, see I am right here. I came.

The family looked at me funny. The man just kept pushing the button. He was confused.
Click to expand...

You'll have to show me this button sometime.
 
543146_455446207870949_1006300190_n.jpg
 
The charge nurse asked me if I needed anything.
I told him: No thank you. I love a perpetual state of busy anxiety. It really gets me going if you know what I mean.
 
How many Residents in the room does it take to measure a blood pressure?

Me: Just so you know, the last blood pressure was systolic 60 with a doppler. So while you fool around with the cuff I would like to start fluid volume resuscitation, at least.
 
Thank you because I feel better. If you can't imagine me being an angry bitch-- well, I can't imagine it either.
 
sweepthefloor said:
How many Residents in the room does it take to measure a blood pressure?

Me: Just so you know, the last blood pressure was systolic 60 with a doppler. So while you fool around with the cuff I would like to start fluid volume resuscitation, at least.
Click to expand...

God love ya... residents...they don't pay you enough, Janey. Their shenanigans could drive even Radiology to drink.
 
Bidin~Time said:
God love ya... residents...they don't pay you enough, Janey. Their shenanigans could drive even Radiology to drink.
Click to expand...
The whole shift was full of ridiculousness. After six pages of sloppy stupid orders I wanted to ask: Why don't you assess the patient, get your thoughts and plan together, and then start writing.

If I did as they wanted, when they wanted I would be drawing labs every hour. They think if they write: now please, that it will make a difference. I will always batch labs. I guess they don't know that 10mls of precious red blood is wasted with every draw on top of the sample tubes, on already anemic patients.

The patient started desaturating! Instead of assessing the patient they ordered a stat portable chest when I was packing up to go to CT for chest/abd/pelvis because extra radiation is the cure for all ICU patients.

It depends on the batch, luckily they rotate. Mostly it depends on the senior. There are some who are so awesome that I appreciate their ability to maintain stable in a critical environment. And then there are those jerking around with a blood pressure cuff when the patient clearly needs immediate intervention.

I am sending this batch back to basic skills.
 
This ride to work was brought to you by The Master of Puppets. That's Dr. Mean, Intensivist and his Resident puppets.
 
My tech just asked the patient: Is this your first sleep over at our house? The view is great up here.

And then the patient called me a bitch and tried to punch me.
 
sweepthefloor said:
The whole shift was full of ridiculousness. After six pages of sloppy stupid orders I wanted to ask: Why don't you assess the patient, get your thoughts and plan together, and then start writing.

If I did as they wanted, when they wanted I would be drawing labs every hour. They think if they write: now please, that it will make a difference. I will always batch labs. I guess they don't know that 10mls of precious red blood is wasted with every draw on top of the sample tubes, on already anemic patients.

The patient started desaturating! Instead of assessing the patient they ordered a stat portable chest when I was packing up to go to CT for chest/abd/pelvis because extra radiation is the cure for all ICU patients.

It depends on the batch, luckily they rotate. Mostly it depends on the senior. There are some who are so awesome that I appreciate their ability to maintain stable in a critical environment. And then there are those jerking around with a blood pressure cuff when the patient clearly needs immediate intervention.

I am sending this batch back to basic skills.
Click to expand...

We get a single resident for a three-month stint. The new one starts Monday, I'm told she's pretty good (we'll be the judge of that :D). I've come to realize that the best ones we've had are the ones who ask the nurses, "What do you need me to write?" Also, they're all from rehabilitation medicine, and there's a BIG difference in dealing with an athlete who has an injury and dealing with a kid who has profound cognitive disabilities - just because you're great with one doesn't mean you can relate to the other.
 
LongDrySpell said:
We get a single resident for a three-month stint. The new one starts Monday, I'm told she's pretty good (we'll be the judge of that :D). I've come to realize that the best ones we've had are the ones who ask the nurses, "What do you need me to write?" Also, they're all from rehabilitation medicine, and there's a BIG difference in dealing with an athlete who has an injury and dealing with a kid who has profound cognitive disabilities - just because you're great with one doesn't mean you can relate to the other.
Click to expand...
That is a big difference in care, it is acute vs chronic and everything that is associated with that. There are some that are great but not everyone can be awesome. My goal is to maintain safety at all times.
---
It is always nice when they ask what we need for the patient. I don't have the time or the energy to think for them though. I like it when they figure it out on their own. What does upset me is when I have to ask for things all day long. The care is so complex that I like to do my job.

I do appreciate their presence at the bedside which is almost constant. And I made up with the senior that I cursed out last shift. He said: It was really funny when you dropped the fuck word.
 
sweepthefloor said:
My tech just asked the patient: Is this your first sleep over at our house? The view is great up here.

And then the patient called me a bitch and tried to punch me.
Click to expand...

If it helps, I will punch you and tell you how much I love you.
 
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