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writing tender sex scenes

GoldenCojones

GoldenCojones

Literotica Guru
Joined
Nov 30, 2014
Posts
617
In one of the stories I'm currently writing I need to write a tender, loving sex scene. I've never really done that before. It's a little out of my ball park.

So I thought I'd ask here. Do any of you have examples of truly successful tender, loving sex scenes? Please post a link to the story if so. A page number where the scene starts would be nice if the story is very long. I promise I won't steal your scene or even your idea. I'm just looking for examples (note the plural) so that I can get an idea of word choice, tone, semantics, etc.

And if you don't want to post an example, I'm always open to opinions on how to craft a truly tender loving scene between two people. Do I focus on soft fuzzy feelings (not my strong suit) or maybe it is in the tender interaction between the two people.

Thanks to all who chime in.
 
I'll just tell you what I think, because I don't really read much erotica and posting my own scenes would be kinda...

Anyway, what I find is a good thing for a good loving scene is take it with no rush. It doesn't mean there can't be hard and fast banging, but the scenes where a couple rushes forward, colliding in the middle of the room and falling to the floor - rarely comes out as romantic. Passionate - maybe, but for loving sex scene, it's really hard to express that feeling through rushed movies and fast sex.

So I think that you go slow. Pay attention and take time to describe how much both enjoy each caress, each kiss. Both partners should be somewhat selfless, caring for the enjoyment of the other more than their own. What they want to do is connect, sexual gratification comes second, so foreplay and kissing is essential. They should enjoy everything in each other - the smell, the taste, the visual, the sound, the warmness of the bodies.
You want to crank up the positive to the limit, removing all hesitation and insecurity they may have, because the mere look in the eyes of another shows them how satisfied they are, that there's nothing amiss. Both men and women tend to be somewhat nervous in a bed, thinking of all the little things that may be wrong or imperfect in them. Here, however, the passion is so great that it all melts away as they both surrender to each other completely, feeling the deep love you want to convey.

Also I find that when you write a good long sex scene you should pay attention to small things. Some silly things. How her hair might fall onto hos face, awkward knees and elbows - don't stress it, but mentioning that and quickly moving along helps to establish that nothing could break the mood for them at the moment.

Don't forget interaction. I don't know if anyone does sex completely silently. But here all interaction is positive.

So yeah. Basically it's gotta be a kind of idealized cranked-up lovemaking that we all dream about but that happens once in a lifetime. That's my opinion. :cattail:
 
Nezhul said:
I'll just tell you what I think, because I don't really read much erotica and posting my own scenes would be kinda...

Anyway, what I find is a good thing for a good loving scene is take it with no rush. It doesn't mean there can't be hard and fast banging, but the scenes where a couple rushes forward, colliding in the middle of the room and falling to the floor - rarely comes out as romantic. Passionate - maybe, but for loving sex scene, it's really hard to express that feeling through rushed movies and fast sex.

So I think that you go slow. Pay attention and take time to describe how much both enjoy each caress, each kiss. Both partners should be somewhat selfless, caring for the enjoyment of the other more than their own. What they want to do is connect, sexual gratification comes second, so foreplay and kissing is essential. They should enjoy everything in each other - the smell, the taste, the visual, the sound, the warmness of the bodies.
You want to crank up the positive to the limit, removing all hesitation and insecurity they may have, because the mere look in the eyes of another shows them how satisfied they are, that there's nothing amiss. Both men and women tend to be somewhat nervous in a bed, thinking of all the little things that may be wrong or imperfect in them. Here, however, the passion is so great that it all melts away as they both surrender to each other completely, feeling the deep love you want to convey.

Also I find that when you write a good long sex scene you should pay attention to small things. Some silly things. How her hair might fall onto hos face, awkward knees and elbows - don't stress it, but mentioning that and quickly moving along helps to establish that nothing could break the mood for them at the moment.

Don't forget interaction. I don't know if anyone does sex completely silently. But here all interaction is positive.

So yeah. Basically it's gotta be a kind of idealized cranked-up lovemaking that we all dream about but that happens once in a lifetime. That's my opinion. :cattail:
Click to expand...

Thanks. I agree with everything you said, just struggling to execute it well.
 
GoldenCojones said:
Thanks for sharing this with me. It's really good. I'll have to go back and read the story from page 1 when I get the time. It also helps me see how you set the stage. That helps, I think (hope.)
Click to expand...

Pardon my alt. Changed browsers for site compatibility elsewhere, and thus change pen names here.

Glad you like it. :)

One thing I think makes a difference is not to include any oral sex. Replace that with hands, and pay attention to the hands that aren't in the target zones as well. To me, that alone tips the balance heavily toward intimacy and away from down-n-dirty.
 
No oral sex? Why not? That's completely fine, IMO.

And really, have you tried to dry-fuck someone? That's not very good when the dick is dry. How will you wet it otherwise? Spitting your own saliva on it is NOT romantic at all. =)

Seriously, oral sex is fine when you take care to approach it properly. Wanting to taste your lover and give him pleasure with your mouth is pretty loving thing, imo.

Carnal_Flower said:
What a dumb question.

What pigsty do you currently inhabit that you can't dredge your mind to write something tender and loving, for f's sake?

Advice: don't even try.
Click to expand...
That's too harsh, no need to be like that. It's perfectly normal to have your weak points, if loving sex depiction is one of them, that's as fine as anything. For many sex is something carnal, something that does not tie to love very well, something that's about passion mostly.
 
Last edited:
Nezhul said:
No oral sex? Why not? That's completely fine, IMO.

And really, have you tried to dry-fuck someone? That's not very good when the dick is dry. How will you wet it otherwise? Spitting your own saliva on it is NOT romantic at all. =)

Seriously, oral sex is fine when you take care to approach it properly. Wanting to taste your lover and give him pleasure with your mouth is pretty loving thing, imo.

That's too harsh, no need to be like that. It's perfectly normal to have your weak points, if loving sex depiction is one of them, that's as fine as anything. For many sex is something carnal, something that does not tie to love very well, something that's about passion mostly.
Click to expand...

I had sex with my now ex husband for 13+ years, never once did either of us use anyone's saliva to wet his dick beforehand. There's a lot of other ways for some lubrication.
 
Try some of mine, especially

Memory and Loss Parts 3, 4
Rope and Veil Parts 1 - 3
Sisters Parts 1 - 3
The Floating World

Link to my story page, below.

Hint - for tenderness, you can't just read the sex scenes. The rest of the story generally provides the context for the tenderness. It doesn't just "arrive" - it's the whole relationship thing....

Another hint - equality is good too. Misogyny won't get you there, I don't think.
 
GoldenCojones said:
In one of the stories I'm currently writing I need to write a tender, loving sex scene. I've never really done that before. It's a little out of my ball park.

So I thought I'd ask here. Do any of you have examples of truly successful tender, loving sex scenes? Please post a link to the story if so. A page number where the scene starts would be nice if the story is very long. I promise I won't steal your scene or even your idea. I'm just looking for examples (note the plural) so that I can get an idea of word choice, tone, semantics, etc.

And if you don't want to post an example, I'm always open to opinions on how to craft a truly tender loving scene between two people. Do I focus on soft fuzzy feelings (not my strong suit) or maybe it is in the tender interaction between the two people.

Thanks to all who chime in.
Click to expand...

I have always considered these two parts as constituting a tender love scene:

https://www.literotica.com/s/donna-from-day-care-ch-01

A tender love scene usually requires a long buildup.
 
Are you willing to buy a book for good advice?

Diana Gabaldon, writer of the popular Outlander series, has a book on how to write her sex scenes. It has very practical advice (with plenty of examples) and it's only $3.00 on Amazon:

http://amzn.to/2fC1UEJ
 
I thought chapter 11 of A Slut's Triangle was pretty tender:) and the foreplay lead in from chapter 10 was really tender as well. The link to chapter 10 is in my signature and I'll post the link to chapter 11 in this comment/reply

https://www.literotica.com/s/a-sluts-triangle-pt-11

👠👠👠Kant💋 Be warned though, the sex scene is between a frisky woman( Kimberly ) and a T-girl (Ashleigh) during a thunderstorm.🌹
 
I don't have a story to cite, but last night this thread subliminally caused me to put a tender GM sex scene in what I'm now writing, which otherwise is quite rough sex. :D

It involves a long set up and more teasing and pleasure/passion than domination, control, and pain.
 
I have several in my "Stringed Instrument".

Short one at the start of a relationship: https://www.literotica.com/s/a-stringed-instrument-ch-02

Later in the relationship (actual sex starts on page 2): https://www.literotica.com/s/a-stringed-instrument-ch-09 This has some mild BDSM elements but I'd still count it as "tender".

I think one of the important things in writing tender scenes is to put in work establishing emotional connection and trust between the participants. I tend to communicate that by having my characters talk a lot before, during, and after.
 
Thanks

Thanks to everyone who stepped up to help me out. This has given me lots to go on. I hope my "Tender" scene can live up to expectations.
 
Bramblethorn said:
I think one of the important things in writing tender scenes is to put in work establishing emotional connection and trust between the participants. I tend to communicate that by having my characters talk a lot before, during, and after.
Click to expand...

One thing I did to try to "tenderize" the scene I just wrote to that was that I established the trust within the sex scene itself--when something rougher was expected--and then delivered on the trust.
 
I cant fathom TENDER sex.

Does it follow a bowl of chicken noodle soup?
 
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