Writing romantic sex scenes

[spankableBelle]

At least I'm not the only one that'll take a day or so to write one...

Nope. I've left my characters naked and on the verge of penetration for days...

 

[Rob_Royale]

I really enjoy romantic sex scenes. it's more about the setting and how they feel than the act itself. Actions are slower and I emphasize eye contact and the caressing of faces. Dialog is often in whispers. When they are first coupled there's a pause as they enjoy that moment of full penetration together. Often they reveal how long they have waited for this moment. They kiss, the first full stroke occurs, and they moan into each other's mouth. Sex can be slow and sensual as they both enjoy the euphoria and closeness of the moment or the heat between them can rise until they are going at it like animals.

When I returned from deployments, my wife and I did a lot of both of them. Sometimes she was just so happy I was home and it was sweet and loving. Other times, she was happy but also angry because it had been hard for her to be left. It made for some very intense sex.

Romantic sex is a very different kind of scene and it's easier for me than coming up with some inventive kink scene.

 

[PandemicReader8]

I've been writing sex scenes for 20+ years... And for me, they've not gotten any easier to write.

I've been working on a sex scene for 3 days. I'll finish it today and then move on to the next one.
Sometimes they're awesome and the words flow and just gush out of me... Other times, I avoid them like the plague until I have no choice because the rest of the book is finished, edited, and ready...

And other times I will finish one, certain its incredible, only to revisit later and discover it sucks. And not in that hot and sexy way we wanted...

 

[spankableBelle]

And other times I will finish one, certain its incredible, only to revisit later and discover it sucks. And not in that hot and sexy way we wanted...

Yep... This, too.
There can be quite a bit of cringe in those scenes we thought were amazing, only to realize not so much...

 

[Mr_Neb]

Interesting question. I think the reason why romantic sex scenes may be harder to write for some is that most sex scenes center around what the people are doing. Tab A goes into Slot B, etc. The focus is on the action, who does what to whom. Pretty much how porn is these days.

I think that romantic sex has to include additional dimensions. At the very least, it's nice to include how the actvity feels to the participants, not just physically (that felt good, etc.) but how they felt about what they have experienced. This goes for the provider as well as the recipient. Including descriptions of the pleasure being experienced helps.

And then there are the other senses. Make the story more "sensual." The visual sense is sort of automatic. A description of what is going on creates visual images in the reader and in the characters. Including elements of the senses of hearing, touching, and smell can increase the romantic aspects of a scene.

Romantic writing can also include why they are doing what they are doing and also how they feel about what is going on.

Anyway, just my ramblings, for what they are worth.

 

[EroticCupcake]

I would echo most of the opinions here. At least for me, romantic scenes are 60% setup, 20% tenderness, and 10% sex.

Romantic sex is like "going home again for the first time," laughing and bumping around and then you find out almost by accident that This is the sexual partner makes you 100% comfortable in your own skin. Not star crossed lovers, but closer to star crossed friends (who happen to be having sex.)

 

[tenyari]

I favor comedic sex scenes though I have written some romantic ones as well.

The trick is to push the sex back behind the other element. Have the other element drive the moment, and the sex is just the stage dressing. If you're still focused on story and on that main element - the erotic aspect will often fill itself in.

For me - I can't "just" write a raunchy sex scene. I feel like I have nothing to work with there. I ended up comedic sex scenes as a way to push through the scenes, and found it a gimmick that worked. Of course, when I was much younger real life sex was like that too. If you stop and think about it, the mechanics and activity is absurd, and so I'd often laugh or giggle through it... actually... especially when it was very romantic.

 

[Norway_1705]

Smell the parfums of flowers, sea and wind, yes.
But also smell the fear, the doubtfulness, the low self-esteem.
Somehow romantic is "Tarzan meets Jane" : sweating, running, escaping, trembling.
She will accept my kiss? How may she accept Me? What if she dislikes me? He will accept my unshaved thighs? I'm sweating. Mom said pussy smells bad, always, but there is no Mom here...
More exitations lead to more excitations. We are not all Alpha, proud and all mighty. We are average people with average problems.

 

[YDB95]

I consider romantic sex scenes my specialty...and yes, I do find them harder to write than plain old no-strings-attached sex scenes.

 

[Trionyx]

How frustrating, for the characters, that is.

 

[Trionyx]

Nope. I've left my characters naked and on the verge of penetration for days...

How frustrating, for the characters, that is.