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men, do you want to see your wife with another man?

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Well, it is best to work into it slowly. We actually get things rolling with some kind of game. We take turns playing rounds of pool with the loser having to strip, or other strip games.

We don't normally drink because that would make it harder for our Friends to leave for the night and plus I don't drink anyway.

We also make it clear to anyone new we invite into our fun that they don't have to do anything they don't want to. We've had a girl that was really nervous about taking part. We talked it over with her several times, shot some pool, and then at the end of the night watched her completely dominate my wife after she realized we didn't want to screw up our friendship just for some fun.

You have to be very careful when approaching something like this, not only with your spouse, but with the people you want to be involved with.
 
Rules make the difference

TheFallenSaint said:
I was very jealous at first and she does still get jealous. But like I said, we worked out rules that we both agreed on.

First off, we have to be together when we have fun. No sex unless we are at least both in the house. I let her have a guy alone in the bedroom once and she said she didn't like it, that I had to be in the room. So now, even if I don't participate or she doesn't, we both have to be in the room.

Second: We both have to agree on the people involved. If I don't like her choice, she can't have him. Or her since she swings both ways.

Third: PROTECTION, it must be used.

fourth: If things get too hard to take, we stop immediately.

Five: Our "Special Friends" can't spend the night. We have one person we would make an exception for and that is because she would have to come from another state.

Six and final: We love each other. No secrets. No lies. At the end of the night, she is in my arms and we are usually repeating the night after the special friends leave.

Its not a lifestyle that everyone can handle, but if you can, it is certainly interesting.
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Your rules give answers to many questions from the fantasizers. They're also why your playing works for you. We have rules too, some the same, some different. Those of us in this lifestyle have to admit that for some couples, rules won't help, and rules won't guarantee we'll ride off into the sunset together.
 
mrstojourspret said:
I'm a wife and I'd love to let another man take me...while he watched and maybe joined. I love when he fucks me and slips my dildo in there too. The feeling of two cocks in my pussy is amazing!
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You and my wife should talk ......... she needs a tad more convincing :(

LizVegas79 said:
Dammit! My hubby still hasn't logged onto this thread! :rolleyes: :devil:
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He and I should talk :) I'll try my best to convince him that it'd be quite exciting !?!?

85bird said:
Looks perfect...
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If I were ever able to see this in my wife even once in my life .... I'd die a happy man :)
 
SandraMustard said:
Your rules give answers to many questions from the fantasizers. They're also why your playing works for you. We have rules too, some the same, some different. Those of us in this lifestyle have to admit that for some couples, rules won't help, and rules won't guarantee we'll ride off into the sunset together.
Click to expand...


I don't claim our rules to be perfect, but these are what we decided on together. There are times that rules wont work. This helps us get through some of our stuff, but we have had our share of problems crop up. Our last threesome was actually with another woman and near the end my wife got jealous and we had to stop. After things calmed down, she was sorry for getting upset.

See, what had happened was her idea and I had even asked if she was sure. She said yes and we did it. Unfortunately, it was too hard for her to take and we had to stop. Next time will be easier because we learned something to avoid on both our parts.

There are couples that this lifestyle wont work for at all. Some can just jump right in with no problem. For us, it is a work in progress, but one we are willing to go with.

EDIT: Actually that was our next to last threesome. I forgot our male friend that dropped by two days ago. I didn't participate, just enjoyed the show.
 
TheFallenSaint said:
I don't claim our rules to be perfect, but these are what we decided on together. Exactly. Rules help define the playing field. Your rules are for you. Our rules are for us. But everyone should have rules to make the outcome a success.

There are times that rules wont work. This helps us get through some of our stuff, but we have had our share of problems crop up. Our last threesome was actually with another woman and near the end my wife got jealous and we had to stop. After things calmed down, she was sorry for getting upset.
The fact that you stopped is an important lesson for couples considering the lifestyle.

...
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When there are no rules, there is no control.
 
SandraMustard said:
When there are no rules, there is no control.
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We've been in the swing lifestyle for over 17 years. I've met countless couples who attempted to function within it on rules, and I can't think of a single one that managed to stay in the lifestyle. In my experience, couples who need rules are walking on thin ice in a polyamorous relationship. They create rules as an attempt to define borders in hopes that they might contain those situations that cause jealousy.

In my opinion, if she or he do not feel that the other understands their feelings well enough to function without rules, it is probably best to stay away from the lifestyle.
 
rules

I think there needs to be clear communication about what both partners are expecting which may include being honest about feelings that might emerge or events that might occur. For instance, your partner has a right to know if you develop a deep attachment to a lover or are banging his boss.

However, beyond that I agree with LC that you should be careful about thinking a list of rules is going to prepare you mentally or emotionally or mitigate your jealousy. It is hard to know what situations will unfold and you don't want to put your partner into a corner or feel guilty for feeling what they feel. A list of rules is more likely to encourage both parties to be dishonest with themselves and each other.

For instance, let's suppose I want to fuck person X. We aren't being open if I have to pretend otherwise. And once my husband knows I want to fuck that guy why would he choose to constrain me? I already know to use my judgment as it relates to discretion and not genuinely humiliating my husband (as opposed to the games we play). Anything more is asking me to lie to him and if he needs that he isn't ready for an open relationship.

For me the point is to experience my whole sexuality by not be constrained by society's expectations. Replacing those "rules" with a different set of "rules" doesn't really get me far, especially if those rules are primarily geared towards mitigating his jealousy.

All this does however mean I must be in control of my sexuality. I may like a strong man or rough sex or whatever. But if I encounter a man who mistreats my husband he is gone......instantly. There is no room for muddled thinking or confused priorities or letting myself be used or manipulated. You must be 100% committed to taking responsibility for your own actions. Aside from being physically overpowered you don't get to ever blame someone else when things get out of hand or be naive about the nature of your lovers. In other words, if you want to fuck a bad boy go ahead and fuck him, but don't pull the innocent waif nonsense and pretend like you didn't know exactly what you were doing.
 
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Our rules are not so much 'laws' as expectations to make decisions by. They are agreements made through open communications. Our rules are more a list of 'shouldn'ts' than 'can'ts.'

For example, at swinger parties, if a swap is a package deal and one of us is repulsed by their proposed partner, the other shouldn't expect they take one for the team.

Our hardest 'rule' is wearing protection always. Yet, there is a potential to waive that rule in the future in one case with a friend that has a latex allergy. So far, hubby has not used his permission with her.
 
SandraMustard said:
Our rules are not so much 'laws' as expectations to make decisions by. They are agreements made through open communications. Our rules are more a list of 'shouldn'ts' than 'can'ts.'

For example, at swinger parties, if a swap is a package deal and one of us is repulsed by their proposed partner, the other shouldn't expect they take one for the team.

Our hardest 'rule' is wearing protection always. Yet, there is a potential to waive that rule in the future in one case with a friend that has a latex allergy. So far, hubby has not used his permission with her.
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Exactly. I've never told my wife "No" for anyone she wanted. The only rule I really enforce is the protection rule. Especially now that she is off birth control. She has only had one guy without protection and that was a special case. She had wanted the guy since high school and I wanted her to have some special time with him. I even left the room and let them have privacy.

We've never actually done a swinger party but that would be fun. We really want to try something like that.
 
I agree, not just being there and feeling the bodies of your wife and that lucky guy, but touching and tasting and hearing the sounds of delicious sex, now that is what I call sharing.
 
We did not partake in any swinging or swapping, but my wife was into the BDSM lifestyle, I dabbled in it a bit, and we had gone to some events and private play parties. I am a jealous person and have my own insecurities, which have raised issues in our relationship. We attended one, and agreed on her playing with another dominant, (she's a switch) but we negotiated a scene with me being present, if she seemed uncomfortable they stopped, and no sexual contact. So I watched her get flogged and whipped, then she crawled to me afterwards, The scene was done, and she was horny and good to go, but I was enraged and instead of reaping the rewards of her arousal, I was beyond pissed. I was ok when things started, but it got to me and I have since decided that it is definitely not for me. The fact she needs that sort of thing in her life contributed to the demise of our marriage along with other outside factors. I take my hat off to those who can enjoy it, but I learned the hard way, it is not for me.
 
policywank said:
I think there needs to be clear communication about what both partners are expecting which may include being honest about feelings that might emerge or events that might occur. For instance, your partner has a right to know if you develop a deep attachment to a lover or are banging his boss.

However, beyond that I agree with LC that you should be careful about thinking a list of rules is going to prepare you mentally or emotionally or mitigate your jealousy. It is hard to know what situations will unfold and you don't want to put your partner into a corner or feel guilty for feeling what they feel. A list of rules is more likely to encourage both parties to be dishonest with themselves and each other.

For instance, let's suppose I want to fuck person X. We aren't being open if I have to pretend otherwise. And once my husband knows I want to fuck that guy why would he choose to constrain me? I already know to use my judgment as it relates to discretion and not genuinely humiliating my husband (as opposed to the games we play). Anything more is asking me to lie to him and if he needs that he isn't ready for an open relationship.

For me the point is to experience my whole sexuality by not be constrained by society's expectations. Replacing those "rules" with a different set of "rules" doesn't really get me far, especially if those rules are primarily geared towards mitigating his jealousy.

All this does however mean I must be in control of my sexuality. I may like a strong man or rough sex or whatever. But if I encounter a man who mistreats my husband he is gone......instantly. There is no room for muddled thinking or confused priorities or letting myself be used or manipulated. You must be 100% committed to taking responsibility for your own actions. Aside from being physically overpowered you don't get to ever blame someone else when things get out of hand or be naive about the nature of your lovers. In other words, if you want to fuck a bad boy go ahead and fuck him, but don't pull the innocent waif nonsense and pretend like you didn't know exactly what you were doing.
Click to expand...

The best post I've read on this thread. I agree wholeheartedly with every point you raise.
 
SandraMustard said:
Our rules are not so much 'laws' as expectations to make decisions by. They are agreements made through open communications. Our rules are more a list of 'shouldn'ts' than 'can'ts.'

For example, at swinger parties, if a swap is a package deal and one of us is repulsed by their proposed partner, the other shouldn't expect they take one for the team.

Our hardest 'rule' is wearing protection always. Yet, there is a potential to waive that rule in the future in one case with a friend that has a latex allergy. So far, hubby has not used his permission with her.
Click to expand...


That is another good way of putting it. I think any relationship is based upon a shared set of values and standards for personal behaviour. In a monogamous relationship there are things we know we must/should do/not do to nurture and sustain that relationship, usually without a set of commandments.

An open relationship is no different. In fact, I think our sensitivity towards each other is heightened and the latitude for self-delusion is diminished.

For instance, I am a mature woman who is far more careful and selective than most sexually active singles. I respect those that have a "use protection" rule. We don't, but that isn't license to be careless and stupid with my and my husband's health.
 
warner34 said:
What a great video! Such a turn because it's so real. Real people not over acting and good clear vid and audio. Loved it!! Thanks for sharing.
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Agreed. A fantastic video. May favorite kind of erotica. Exactly how I want to see another man sscrew my wife in our marital bed.
 
good to the last drop...

Great video! I like the wife-- she's funny, has great tits and is having fun. Nice cock on her lover.
 
Gif added

I must admit I love dropping back in to see and enjoy this thread every now and again. Thanks to you all for your insights, thoughts and wishes about wife-sharing. I enjoy reading them all.

Now, a few points from the other side of the fence - me being a wife who wants to be shared, and yet still totally loves and is devoted to her hubby.

1) I totally enjoy the ability to show off to hubby with another man, and then have him join us in a threesome, but to be truthful, the eye contact I make with hubby at the vital moments with other men is the most erotic part for me. Looking my hubby in the eye as I take a stranger's cock out of his pants for the first time, engulf it with my mouth and suck, and then of course reaching down to push the head of a stranger's cock into my pussy as I eyeball hubby - all great moments of erotic delight.
2) The moment I orgasm with another man I always make sure I look at hubby and express not only my excitement, but the love I have for him letting me be pleasured by another man or men is exquisite.
3) The shower, dressing sexily, and then preparing to go out and find another lover to join me in bed while hubby watches is totally, nipple-stiffeningly, awesome!!!! We always use this as foreplay and to be truthful, heading out from a hotel room into a club or function venue knowing I am going to find a man to fuck is hot for us both.
4) Never, ever sneak around behind the other's back - we always share and know exactly what is going on, or what is planned, and that way it is always a shared, hot experience.

Here is a gif we made of me being filmed by hubby sitting in his 'wank' chair watching me fuck a guy who turned out to have a magnificent cock.

[Material prohibited per our forum guidelines.]

I'd love to chat with any of you about this if you feel like it.
 
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The wife and I have shared a handful of men and it's amazing each time but I really want to see her with a black bull who shows her she's doesn't need my little white cock anymore....
 
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