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Should she be allowed to orgasm?

SecretSubM88 said:
My point stands and is hereby confirmed....
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The fact that it's not the OP answering you? It's not a point. Last I checked, this were open forums.

And the fact that the OP was polite enough to thank everyone despite the rashness of the replies does NOT make the shitty attitude magically turn into being an Okay-attitude.
 
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Nezhul said:
Oh for god's sake.

Stop reading forums them. Because, you know, many people will not like reading your posts. So by posting you are involving strangers into your life without their permission.

These are sex forums. If you don't want to be involved in anyone's sex life, then 99% of posts here are not for you, because they are violating that rule by talking about their sex life without your permission.
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Yes, these are forums in which we talk about sex. Most are not for having cyber sex or role-playing (there are specific forums and chat areas devoted to this).
 
Nezhul said:
Being toxic about it hardly helps though. If you think he did something wrong - just call him out on that. The way you addressed it is just a personal attack and it doesn't really solve anything.

Also I knew pairs for whom creating such threads and polls on forums was part of the game. Just saying.
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Nothing I saw on this thread was toxic until you jumped on and called out several pyl's responses to the OP "toxic" (which I would point out is your perspective (valid)... but not objective truth...)

Nezhul said:
Oh for god's sake.

Stop reading forums them. Because, you know, many people will not like reading your posts. So by posting you are involving strangers into your life without their permission.

These are sex forums. If you don't want to be involved in anyone's sex life, then 99% of posts here are not for you, because they are violating that rule by talking about their sex life without your permission.
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here, you are clearly exasperated with people expressing opinions that were requested by the OP. And NO these forums are not for involving other people in sex games. Go to personals or role play or a sex chat room for that. This is for DISCUSSION.

Nezhul said:
Just to remind you all, your so-called opinion (which you then seconded and third-ed) is in fact this:

Which is not an opinion but personal attack and unprovoked outburst. Don't you think that you are a tad too judgmental of other people's posts, remembering that you are on fetish and BDSM forums, where being judgmental was always frowned upon.

You didn't voice your opinion. You jumped to a hasty conclusion and attacked a person. Then you tried to justify yourself by saying that it was his fault for involving you into his sexual life, so this somehow gives you the right to be mean bitches towards him, to degrade and ridicule that person, and wish him in his face that his relationship would fall apart.

Excuse me, ladies, but this is bullshit.
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I do not believe you are asking to be excused at all. I think you are being a bit of an asshole here tbh.

This is not an excuse. Moreover, when you find a thread youa re not interested in participating in - do you HAVE to reply? No. Just move along, and you are not involved into anything. You GET involved when you reply, so you can't blame the OP for involving you in the first place!

You are just inventing excuses because you've got called out on your unjustified response.
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No one was "bitchy"[sic] (this is a sexist non-responsive and uncalled for name calling IMO - and yes - I recognize that what you actually called people were "mean bitches") Instead, it appeared to me that people were responsive. And to call anyone's response here a "so-called" opinion is to belittle their response, their interaction and them as a person. No one called you a "so-called Dom" (though I am beginning to be tempted to - I won't, because that would be rude and uncalled for.)

Nezhul said:
The fact that it's not the OP answering you? It's not a point. Last I checked, this were open forums.

And the fact that the OP was polite enough to thank everyone despite the rashness of the replies does NOT make the shitty attitude magically turn into being an Okay-attitude.
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No one but you is swearing in this thread but you either. Methinks you are complaining a bit too much. Seriously dude. All of us who objected to the way this thread unfolded cannot be completely wrong. Our opinions are VALID simple because we have them and we are here interacting. You can disagree, but, from my reading, people have been disagreeing with you respectfully, without swearing or calling you names or belittling you. I certainly expect the same both towards me and towards others on the board.

Now. If people want to go forward with having a discussion about orgasm denial and edging and how to play around with that as a TOPIC of discussion, NOT as part of a tool in someone else's sex game... sign me up.
 
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Like you Nezhul, I chose to be involved. Like you offered things they could do, I too offered a solution. OP asked for input, my input was that if she wants to have orgasms she could dump him and have all the orgasms she wants.

As part of the decision making party, I still stand by my suggestion. Hell, as partial decision maker I say she can have orgasms when, where and how she likes to. Have as many orgasms as you'd like mystery sub. ;)

Good job, call us bitches and say we're mean some more. No one attacked anyone here but you, Nezhul. Being judgemental is frowned upon by you. I see it as something quite necessary and I'll continue to judge and make decisions for myself based on those judgments.
 
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Like you offered things they could do, I too offered a solution. OP asked for input, my input was that if she wants to have orgasms she could dump him and have all the orgasms she wants.
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This "solution" is as valid as saying she should tell him that she's edging but in reality cheat on him with other men.
Or telling him that HE should dump her because she begs too much.

In other words: not valid at all. You can "suggest" hundreds of so-called variants, ranging from simply ridiculous (like yours) to those ending in manslaughter. But the thing is - they are invalid. By definition what you "suggest" is nothing else but aggravated flood meant to hurt somebody. And yeah, I'm kinda aware this phrase there can be used against me, but my own "aggravated flood" is meant to stop people from acting like gods on the forums meant for relaxation and entertainment.

It's the second time in the past 2 weeks that I see someone (women) suggest the destruction of the relationship because she made judgment based on a forum post.
Read: the destruction of human lives and happiness is suggested like this is nothing.

Should I, in the same way, suggest you all make an abortion next time you are pregnant, because you are clearly all lousy mothers? I don't think so. But that's exactly what you are suggesting to others, and exactly that kind of judgment you are making and saying that this is "necessary".

Please think before you touch on serious topics. It's one thing to say the guy he's wrong and that his GF should have a discussion with him. It's another thing to deem people's lives and relationships as if they are toys in your hands, toys you can toss out if you think you see imperfection under a certain light.
Because next time you will suggest someone to break up, the girl will read this, get engaged by your comments and will do something stupid that she may regret.
 
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Like you offered things they could do, I too offered a solution.
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And one more thought.

Do you know a saying that it's better to teach a man how to catch fish than actually give him fish to feed him?

It's true. Fish is a solution to his problem, his hunger.
But fishing is an option he now can take to get a solution for his hunger.

What you suggest the OP (and everyone else reading) is a solution. It's not an option, because it's phrased very definitely.

The thing about solutions is that their wrongness is always in the opposite relation to the amount of information you have. And here - you have none.
The risk that your "solution" is a poison puffer-fish that you are offering is as high as it might get, and you are still offering it.

Instead, I advice you to take to making suggestions, not solutions. Variants, options. If you feel that the girl might be abused by the OP - cover that ground, pointing out openly what is wrong with what he's doing. But keep in mind that you don't know these people, so make an effort to suggest positive things too. Just in case, you know, that the dark picture that you have painted exists only in your head.
 
Another vote here for "don't make bystanders part of your sex play without first getting their consent, and being on a BDSM Talk board is not consent".
 
Bramblethorn said:
Another vote here for "don't make bystanders part of your sex play without first getting their consent, and being on a BDSM Talk board is not consent".
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But reading such thread does not mean someone involved you. If you dislike the idea - walk away. No consent broken.
Replying - is another thing. But that means you choose to be involved, in other words - give consent.

Otherwise any personal post sharing any personal experience - is in on itself involving everyone who had the misfortune to read it. Which is similar to saying that a man is guilty in murder by the fact of owning a gun.
 
MeekMe said:
My response has nothing to do with whether she enjoys it or not. I wouldn't give control to someone that felt they needed to poll a group of strangers to make a decision for him.
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Perhaps, just perhaps, that's part of their 'thing'. It isn't my business and not mine to judge. To each their own.
 
ToPleaseHim said:
I third this suggestion.

I'm sure this seems like a really fun idea, Hot for the two of you, but many people would not choose to be part of your kink. Getting permission from strangers requires involving strangers in your sex life without their permission.
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Surely, we as individual readers have the choice to read or skip if we don't like or approve of something. I mean, sure, we have the choice to comment negatively as well, but .. I don't know .. just seems a bit harsh to me. It isn't as if we aren't 'made privy to all sorts of stories/situations/etc', so why complain about 'this' one?
 
MeekMe said:
Like you Nezhul, I chose to be involved. Like you offered things they could do, I too offered a solution. OP asked for input, my input was that if she wants to have orgasms she could dump him and have all the orgasms she wants.

As part of the decision making party, I still stand by my suggestion. Hell, as partial decision maker I say she can have orgasms when, where and how she likes to. Have as many orgasms as you'd like mystery sub. ;)

Good job, call us bitches and say we're mean some more. No one attacked anyone here but you, Nezhul. Being judgemental is frowned upon by you. I see it as something quite necessary and I'll continue to judge and make decisions for myself based on those judgments.
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MeekMe is not so meek LOL . I will nickname the unmeek Meekme!
 
I would just like to say that this is my very first day as a member on this site and, from reading some of the comments on this thread, it isn't leaving me with a very good 'first impression'. Note: I am not so vain that I think my opinion is superior to everyone else's, but I don't see any problem at all with the OP. In fact, I kind of liked it. It seems like an innocuous and fun part of their 'play'. I don't think they actually involved anyone in their sex life. (What happens in a forum when someone is actually seeking advise? If you give your advise or suggestions, aren't you involving yourself in their sex life? And if you don't want to get involved, don't give your opinion!) I also don't feel like her privacy was violated by him posting something personal. Does anyone actually know who these people are? No matter . . . It is their business to decide if they wanted to post that. And it's everyone else's decision to help out or ' involve' themselves or not. Aaaaand....now I sound like an asshole for pointing all this out 😆. Maybe this forum stuff isn't really something I should be getting involved in. I just wanted to say to the lovely couple (who, I'm sure, never intended to create such a fuss), "Keep doin' whatcha do and HAVE FUN!" I'd also like to mention that one or two of the commenters actually gave some good advise/sugestions.
 
The most important underlying fact that people are missing is that she succeeded in the task set before her. The mindset of a sub is that the most important purpose is to please and been seen as pleasing...each action on her part has an equal or greater reaction from her Dominant....she should be proud and excited that she did so. Now the reacting reward should be given to her. Do they both get off sharing this in a public way?...asking a group of people is she should be allowed?....apparently so, and I can associate with that. It's whatever two consenting adults agree to....why is that an issue?

As far as edging, it's absolutely a leaned skill and not as easy as I thought it would be, yes, I've have many failure in attempting this task, did I feel badly. guilt, shame?...yes, absolutely....but that is the point...to learn and experience success and failure and not be afraid to put yourself out there for your Dominant. We submit because we choose to.

just some of ideas that came to mind in reading this subject

enjoy, melanie
 
Oh and btw, she asks out of physical want, but deep inside she wants whatever pleases Him, if the bond is deep.
 
tryn2Bgood said:
It seems like an innocuous and fun part of their 'play'.
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Yes. And there are places for that.

This is a discussion forum, not a "Look at me, I have a submissive woman! NOW LOOK GODDAMN!" forum.

And all this is written in the fucking sticky topic at the fucking top of the screen:

"We are not a BDSM chat room, nor do we encourage posting 'in role' here. Our aim, as explained above, is to discuss BDSM etc., as an interest or lifestyle, not play it out on the forum. "


What happens in a forum when someone is actually seeking advise?
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Then they are right here and get advice.

Disclaimer:
Of course, there are a lot of places to get advice from and this one place is the "free-speech-place", which means people can be nice or mean for whatever or no reason. It is okay to not like this. There are zillions of forums to get advice from which enforce a "be nice" policy, so like in all things, the Internet allows you to choose your preference.

No matter . . . It is their business to decide if they wanted to post that.
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Sure. It's just that there are good and bad decisions.
 
Nezhul said:
It's the second time in the past 2 weeks that I see someone (women) suggest the destruction of the relationship because she made judgment based on a forum post.

Please think before you touch on serious topics. It's one thing to say the guy he's wrong and that his GF should have a discussion with him. It's another thing to deem people's lives and relationships as if they are toys in your hands, toys you can toss out if you think you see imperfection under a certain light.
Because next time you will suggest someone to break up, the girl will read this, get engaged by your comments and will do something stupid that she may regret.
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Please kill yourself.

(Please choose a method that involves as few people as possible.)
 
slavemelanie said:
Do they both get off sharing this in a public way?...asking a group of people is she should be allowed?....apparently so, and I can associate with that. It's whatever two consenting adults agree to....why is that an issue?
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It's an issue because they chose to involve other people who hadn't consented to be part of their exhibitionist games.
 
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