Learning to be submissive

[IrisAlthea]

I understand it differently. Of course you must know your limits before they are breached. (or at least be able to recognize them, when play gets close to them)

But once sub has set those limits, it is not hers/his to control what the dom does as long as it is within those limits.

Then the "needs". The primary need should be the need to submit. It should not just be the interest to try activity x/y. These I would call preferences. Of course, as a sub certain aspects/activites/scenarios are preferable because they resound more with your type of submissiveness. I personally think it is fine to express them as the sub. It is very helpful if these preferences match those of the dom. If you are a painslut, but the dom is to timid to really cause you the pain that gets you off, then it is not going to work. Or if the dom wants to humiliate you in public, but this is not possible because it might expose you and damage your career.

Therefore I think it is good to be forthcoming with these things. And I believe a dom who does not take this into account should be avoided.

But once the playing field is defined, limits are set, preferences are understood and match, then the sub has to shut up and do as it is being told and endure what is forthcoming.

I think that this:

but I don't want to be used at all just for sex, domestic chores or making her life easier while mine becomes harder.

was a stating of limits and as you say preferences.
My point was that whether this is a deal breaker or not, is entirely up to @SPARTAN047’s partner(s)/prospective partner(s).

We can all have opinions about what limits and preferences one ”should” have to fit with our picture of the ”true” whatever, but there is really no universal guide book for who can call themselves what and not everyone who does BDSM does it as a sub or a dom.

 

[waynejeffries]

This is a shared login between myself (the sub) and my mistress.

I've not naturally been a submissive person, so before starting this side of our relationship Mistress was quite surprised I was willing to embark on becoming submissive for her.

We started with ball tying and me sending pictures of my efforts to her. I had to ask permission to cum if I wanted to release.

Since then we've explored being blindfold while I lick her pussy, cum clean up and chastity cage.

Mistress is also new to this. Any tips or suggestions on other things she can do to make me a better sub for her?

Communication is the key here as you have to be open and honest with your Mistress. It is also incumbent on your Mistress to become more and more educated on her role. There are plenty of articles and also websites where she can be mentored and learn. But, I do understand not being submissive in regular life or as a habit, but then entering the dynamic. Sometimes it serves as the ying to a yang in that if you are assertive, etc. in everyday life, then the more intimate life with your Mistress could certainly be one of great exploration and experience. It is also, at least for me as an alpha in real life, a welcome change and respite from always having the responsibility of making decisions, being in charge and having responsibility. But, the role of submissive is different for all, but embrace it and keep progressing, but Communication periodically is very important.

 

[Goldenfinger]

It’s easy with the right partner.

 

[KissWPupe]

What about suffocating You by Her booty?
She could to put You to sleep in a such beautifull way.

Image that... You are getting a privilige of choking You out. And she is sitting on top of You untill You will stop moving.

 

[RandyPhil]

This is a shared login between myself (the sub) and my mistress.

I've not naturally been a submissive person, so before starting this side of our relationship Mistress was quite surprised I was willing to embark on becoming submissive for her.

We started with ball tying and me sending pictures of my efforts to her. I had to ask permission to cum if I wanted to release.

Since then we've explored being blindfold while I lick her pussy, cum clean up and chastity cage.

Mistress is also new to this. Any tips or suggestions on other things she can do to make me a better sub for her?

RE learning to be submissive, to me is a natural intrinsic part of the psyche for many. We often hear of training one's sub, and that I see as training a person to one's personal preferences, training them in what it is you like, your kinks etc, so they are ready to serve the master