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Brutal Honesty

V

Vitriolhack

I hear you
Joined
Feb 5, 2018
Posts
8,938
I have mastered the art of fake happiness.

The boss asks you, “how are you doing?”
I answer enthusiastically, “fantastic!” Or “never better!”

The problem is that this habit of fake happiness has crept into my home life also.

In case you are wondering, I am not depressed, “I am doing great!”

Know the feeling?
 
Totally.

My favorite response to “How are you doing?” is from an old New Yorker cartoon:
Filled with hopeless longing, and you?
 
I find if you reply "I'm doing great" or something similar, it usually kills off any follow up conversation. Then I am really happy :D
 
Social platitutdes suck

Social platitudes really are very shallow. Le't be creative and come up with something a little deeper. How about take the average life span and subtract your current age. Then when someone asks how you are tell them that you found out you are terminally ill and have X number of years left. Then ask how they are doing.:eek:
 
Shelly2inme said:
Social platitudes really are very shallow. Le't be creative and come up with something a little deeper. How about take the average life span and subtract your current age. Then when someone asks how you are tell them that you found out you are terminally ill and have X number of years left. Then ask how they are doing.:eek:
Click to expand...

That sudden realization that you have done more mileage than the mileage that’s left do!

Oh yeah, mid life crisis!
 
I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t really care what people think. If I’m asked how I am and I’m not doing well, I say that. Depending on the person, I may even say why when asked. Usually I just say I don’t want to talk about it and people, for the most part, respect that.
 
honesty

Well, since I'm 'older', I often respond to the question of 'how are you doing?' with "I'm upright"..other seniors laugh and nod.

At the gym once I said to a lovely older woman, "Upright and Erect'......ahd she smiled and said, "Oh?" and deliberately looked down at my gym shorts.

Haven't used that line since.

Another of my senior friends answers, "Do you want the officially acceptable response or the honest one?"
 
Definitely know that feeling well. I'm the queen of the game face.
I think the "How are you?" is just a silly custom we've all grown use to. Does anyone REALLY care anymore? Just a formality in my honest opinion.
 
Another of my senior friends answers, "Do you want the officially acceptable response or the honest one?"[/QUOTE]

I really like this on! I usually say "old,fat and ugly" :D
 
With This thread, I wanted to explore why we answer these platitudes.

Do we want to spare other’s emotion?

Why do we put up these happy faces?

Or we running away from what needs to be said?
 
Well, I can't expect everyone to be blessed with the courage to face the truth, no matter how hideous (check out my signature for more details).

I guess this is just a conventional way of acknowledging each other's presence

In fact, some people I know don't expect an answer to the question, it's used like "hi"
 
It’s just that it gets to be tiring all the time to wear these masks all the time that shelter our true self from our displayed persona.
 
Vitriolhack said:
With This thread, I wanted to explore why we answer these platitudes.

Do we want to spare other’s emotion?

Why do we put up these happy faces?

Or we running away from what needs to be said?
Click to expand...

I think it could be a combination of a few things. For me, I’m just a private person and a total introvert. If I’m in a funk, I often find that talking about it out loud with someone makes me feel more anxious and stressed about whatever I’m going through. I also don’t find it necessary to open up to people I’m not really close with, coworkers, friends of friends, etc., probably because I often feel they have no reason to genuinely care. I’m also well aware that I am potentially denying myself of forming closer relationships by that assumption lol

But I’m feeling what you should be most concerned with is why you’re not happy in the first place...
 
When I'm outside and see Buzzards circling, I yell up at them, 'I ain't that ripe yet!!!'
 
silkysweet9 said:
I think it could be a combination of a few things. For me, I’m just a private person and a total introvert. If I’m in a funk, I often find that talking about it out loud with someone makes me feel more anxious and stressed about whatever I’m going through. I also don’t find it necessary to open up to people I’m not really close with, coworkers, friends of friends, etc., probably because I often feel they have no reason to genuinely care. I’m also well aware that I am potentially denying myself of forming closer relationships by that assumption lol

But I’m feeling what you should be most concerned with is why you’re not happy in the first place...
Click to expand...

Not not unhappy.

But it’s more about the obligation of always putting on the social mask that is annoying. We are out in public and meet people we know, I’ll have my “people we know” mask on. The InLaws come over, I have a mask for that also.

It comes down to not always being your genuine self for fear of self preservation from the Onslaught of public outing.

V.
 
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