Humor Thread
- Thread starter DG Hear
- Start date
- Status
TE999
How 'bout a kiss, baby
- Joined
- May 4, 2006
- Posts
- 30,088
Thanks 'T' for contributing the the thread. I think I could write stories about a few of those songs. I thought about, 'I use to kiss her on the lips, but it's all over now".
DG
Danke' DG. I thot there were some plot bunnies in that list myself.
kimbalee
floral nymph
- Joined
- Jan 23, 2008
- Posts
- 41,000
Thanks 'T' for contributing the the thread. I think I could write stories about a few of those songs. I thought about, 'I use to kiss her on the lips, but it's all over now".
DG
It does have the makings of a great time...
DG Hear
My Friend Kipper
- Joined
- Jun 14, 2005
- Posts
- 6,689
Go for it!
DG
Go for it Kimmy, grab a song title and run with it. I promise I'll read it.It does have the makings of a great time...
DG
kimbalee
floral nymph
- Joined
- Jan 23, 2008
- Posts
- 41,000
Go for it Kimmy, grab a song title and run with it. I promise I'll read it.
DG
hahah... you first. lol
DG Hear
My Friend Kipper
- Joined
- Jun 14, 2005
- Posts
- 6,689
Hey!
DG
Hey! I'm not afraid. I've worte about lots of songs. Wonder where I can find the words to. "Just because your nose runs, and your feet smell, doesn't, mean you're built upsidedown."
DG
kimbalee
floral nymph
- Joined
- Jan 23, 2008
- Posts
- 41,000
Hey! I'm not afraid. I've worte about lots of songs. Wonder where I can find the words to. "Just because your nose runs, and your feet smell, doesn't, mean you're built upsidedown."
DG
I already have one about song lyrics. You tell me yours... and I'll tell you mine...
Tom, it would suck to be a bat under those conditions...
TE999
How 'bout a kiss, baby
- Joined
- May 4, 2006
- Posts
- 30,088
Tom, it would suck to be a bat under those conditions...
Only the vampire bats, the rest would just spit.
DG Hear
My Friend Kipper
- Joined
- Jun 14, 2005
- Posts
- 6,689
Duh!!!
DG
I get it, I get it. Hanging upside down. Damn, I'm smart or really dumb.Only the vampire bats, the rest would just spit.
DG
TE999
How 'bout a kiss, baby
- Joined
- May 4, 2006
- Posts
- 30,088
I get it, I get it. Hanging upside down. Damn, I'm smart or really dumb.
DG
You got it, that's the main thing.
DG Hear
My Friend Kipper
- Joined
- Jun 14, 2005
- Posts
- 6,689
Burma shave and Statler Brothers
THIS IS REALLY GREAT !!! TURN UP THE VOLUME !!!
New form for this. it's cute but you may need to watch it twice; once to watch the Burma shave signs change, and once to catch all the pictures up above.
For those of you too young to remember 'too bad you missed it !!'
Watch the Burma Shave Signs change
Click here
http://cruzintheavenue.com:80/DYRT.htm
THIS IS REALLY GREAT !!! TURN UP THE VOLUME !!!
New form for this. it's cute but you may need to watch it twice; once to watch the Burma shave signs change, and once to catch all the pictures up above.
For those of you too young to remember 'too bad you missed it !!'
Watch the Burma Shave Signs change
Click here
http://cruzintheavenue.com:80/DYRT.htm
kimbalee
floral nymph
- Joined
- Jan 23, 2008
- Posts
- 41,000
THIS IS REALLY GREAT !!! TURN UP THE VOLUME !!!
New form for this. it's cute but you may need to watch it twice; once to watch the Burma shave signs change, and once to catch all the pictures up above.
For those of you too young to remember 'too bad you missed it !!'
Watch the Burma Shave Signs change
Click here
http://cruzintheavenue.com:80/DYRT.htm
Okay, I know I've seen the Statler Brothers (singing the song) and I have been on "the whip" ride at an amusement park. Nothing else, though.
DG Hear
My Friend Kipper
- Joined
- Jun 14, 2005
- Posts
- 6,689
Geez!
Geez, You're just a baby. I remember them all. Come over and sit on my lap and I'll tell you everything about the past.Okay, I know I've seen the Statler Brothers (singing the song) and I have been on "the whip" ride at an amusement park. Nothing else, though.
kimbalee
floral nymph
- Joined
- Jan 23, 2008
- Posts
- 41,000
Geez, You're just a baby. I remember them all. Come over and sit on my lap and I'll tell you everything about the past.
giggling... I don't think you'd tell me about the past if I was sitting on your lap...
DG Hear
My Friend Kipper
- Joined
- Jun 14, 2005
- Posts
- 6,689
Aah!
Bad DG: :caning:
No reply, because I know it would incriminate me. Irrefutable evidence I might add.giggling... I don't think you'd tell me about the past if I was sitting on your lap...
Bad DG: :caning:
kimbalee
floral nymph
- Joined
- Jan 23, 2008
- Posts
- 41,000
No reply, because I know it would incriminate me. Irrefutable evidence I might add.
Bad DG: :caning:
hahah... yes, you are bad, DG. Must be why I like you. lol
kimbalee
floral nymph
- Joined
- Jan 23, 2008
- Posts
- 41,000
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small
tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, 'Is
that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?'
The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands on the
sapling. The birch says, 'Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you
tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?'
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, 'It is
neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best
piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in.'
tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, 'Is
that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?'
The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands on the
sapling. The birch says, 'Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you
tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?'
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, 'It is
neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best
piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in.'
DG Hear
My Friend Kipper
- Joined
- Jun 14, 2005
- Posts
- 6,689
Good one! Kimmy
Now that was a good one Kimmy. It makes me want to go plant a tree and have a nice ash in my back yard when it gets bigger. Are ashes both male and female. Of couse I want a female one with a knot hole in it. So the squirrels have a place to put their nuts.
Now that was a good one Kimmy. It makes me want to go plant a tree and have a nice ash in my back yard when it gets bigger. Are ashes both male and female. Of couse I want a female one with a knot hole in it. So the squirrels have a place to put their nuts.
rgraham666
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 19, 2004
- Posts
- 43,468
Just read this one. It's hilarious.
A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.
The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and s says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; t he suit fits him perfectly .
She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I' m very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.
'There's no charge,' she says.
'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.
'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'
'So I just switched the heads.'
A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.
The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and s says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; t he suit fits him perfectly .
She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I' m very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.
'There's no charge,' she says.
'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.
'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'
'So I just switched the heads.'
TE999
How 'bout a kiss, baby
- Joined
- May 4, 2006
- Posts
- 30,088
*black cherry soda spew* BWAHAHAHAHA!
Emperor_Nero
Ever have 1 of those days
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2007
- Posts
- 20,295
I know it's not switching heads, but here it goes ...
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"
She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar turn and stares at them.
Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
To which, he responds at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean, $200?"
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"
She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar turn and stares at them.
Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
To which, he responds at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean, $200?"
TE999
How 'bout a kiss, baby
- Joined
- May 4, 2006
- Posts
- 30,088
Now that was a good one Kimmy. It makes me want to go plant a tree and have a nice ash in my back yard when it gets bigger. Are ashes both male and female. Of couse I want a female one with a knot hole in it. So the squirrels have a place to put their nuts.
Then there's the one about the gay woodpecker who only drilled in mailboxes.
- Status
