Your best or your worst PM or IM opening lines... and if you want your reactions ...

[RedHairedandFriendly]

That's some amount of whore there hahahahahaha
That has got to be the winner Red like really it's going to take alot to surpass that one LOL

It will be very hard, I'm sure.

This makes me so sad *sniff*. To realize that no one thinks enough of me to even call me a tramp, much less a whore, even ONE time. I'm so jealous.
I think your edited version could've been even more concise: "I am a moron."

I will call you a tramp if, you'd like.

Yes, that is kind more to the point, but come on, I had to suffer so did y'all. lol

 

[JennyNo1]

It will be very hard, I'm sure.


I will call you a tramp if, you'd like.

Yes, that is kind more to the point, but come on, I had to suffer so did y'all. lol

Aw, thank you - I feel better!
Yes, suffering...that's what made me laugh so hard I was crying!

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Aw, thank you - I feel better!
Yes, suffering...that's what made me laugh so hard I was crying!

It was a beautiful piece of Literature. I do hope my altering it only added to the richness of his words.

 

[kendra1980]

I had a guy write me this week, out of the blue (and I mean VERY blue) to tell me he could cure my woes if I let him lick my ass.

Can you imagine if that were only true...sigh.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

I had a guy write me this week, out of the blue (and I mean VERY blue) to tell me he could cure my woes if I let him lick my ass.

Can you imagine if that were only true...sigh.

If a guy or woman could lick my ass and solve all my woes, I'd bend over - because it would only take one lick right?

I had two separate "blue" boys write me this week to. Each one was different, styles and approach, one got an answer with a link to this thread, the other got a very long PM back with various definitions and sample sentences of what the word respect meant, along with links to this thread and my How To on PMing a Litster.

 

[kendra1980]

If a guy or woman could lick my ass and solve all my woes, I'd bend over - because it would only take one lick right?

I had two separate "blue" boys write me this week to. Each one was different, styles and approach, one got an answer with a link to this thread, the other got a very long PM back with various definitions and sample sentences of what the word respect meant, along with links to this thread and my How To on PMing a Litster.

LOL...and which one did you hear back from, probably the one that you had to "splain" to. *shakes head*

Mine wrote me back to tell me he could not believe that his pm to me was one of the most freaky ones I'd gotten in all my time here.

I promise Red...I put it to a vote (in my own head and rememberance) and the only one that was remotely more ... freaky was the one that had a photo of a cock of gargantuan size (think flag pole) and the information that he would love to see what my lipstick looked like at the base.

I told him if my lipstick was on the base the tip would be covered in blood from an esophageal bleed brought on by that monster being shoved into my gut. Honey, I like talking too much to suffer that...even for the sake of art!

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

LOL...and which one did you hear back from, probably the one that you had to "splain" to. *shakes head*

Mine wrote me back to tell me he could not believe that his pm to me was one of the most freaky ones I'd gotten in all my time here.

I promise Red...I put it to a vote (in my own head and rememberance) and the only one that was remotely more ... freaky was the one that had a photo of a cock of gargantuan size (think flag pole) and the information that he would love to see what my lipstick looked like at the base.

I told him if my lipstick was on the base the tip would be covered in blood from an esophageal bleed brought on by that monster being shoved into my gut. Honey, I like talking too much to suffer that...even for the sake of art!

LOL - priceless.

Neither one got back with me, though honestly I kinda thought the one that I gave examples to, would have. He at least was able to write in complete sentences.

 

[libbyboy]

I think this thread is educative to say the least

 

[Chaingun]

There, now we can all read it with a little less eyestrain.

Yeah, cause that made it so much better. My head still hurts thinking that someone would write to a lady and start with that language.

...he could cure my woes if I let him lick my ass.
Can you imagine if that were only true...sigh.

I've tried this. It doesn't work. I find that it distracts the lady from her concerns...but if you stop, she later remembers them and is right back where she started.

If a guy or woman could lick my ass and solve all my woes, I'd bend over - because it would only take one lick right? :rolleyes

Damn, maybe I'm just doing it wrong.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

I think this thread is educative to say the least

It's definitely good for something. lol

Yeah, cause that made it so much better. My head still hurts thinking that someone would write to a lady and start with that language.

I've tried this. It doesn't work. I find that it distracts the lady from her concerns...but if you stop, she later remembers them and is right back where she started.

Damn, maybe I'm just doing it wrong.

I did my best to make it easier on everyone. Sorry your head hurts.

 

[WhipLuvr]

Just got this a few weeks ago... my comments are in red.

What you need
is a good figging that would seem to be up your alley (so to speak)

No, thats not actually what I need. Dont assume to know my needs when this is the first time you've contacted me.

oh ya you do you need to be punished for that back talk alone missy!

No I dont. YOU contacted me first without finding out what I like and want. I DON'T need to be punished for anything.

you may not need to but you desperate;y want to

I'm sorry, are you challenged in some way, shape or form? I do NOT need your opinions on what I want or need. If you pulled something like this in the real world you would be a puddle in the gutter when my master finished with you.
This is your last warning. Fuck off or there will be consequences.

 

[libbyboy]

Just got this a few weeks ago... my comments are in red.

What you need
is a good figging that would seem to be up your alley (so to speak)

No, thats not actually what I need. Dont assume to know my needs when this is the first time you've contacted me.

oh ya you do you need to be punished for that back talk alone missy!

No I dont. YOU contacted me first without finding out what I like and want. I DON'T need to be punished for anything.

you may not need to but you desperate;y want to

I'm sorry, are you challenged in some way, shape or form? I do NOT need your opinions on what I want or need. If you pulled something like this in the real world you would be a puddle in the gutter when my master finished with you.
This is your last warning. Fuck off or there will be consequences.

I see that you wield the whip well ,poor chap

 

[WhipLuvr]

I see that you wield the whip well ,poor chap

Heh. My skills are more verbal than physical. But thanks.

 

[Chaingun]

I did my best to make it easier on everyone. Sorry your head hurts.

It's my fault. I had to sound out that one word since it was difficult. Who....ooo....rrrreeeee....? I can't pronounce it.

Heh. My skills are more verbal than physical. But thanks.

Well, all the same, give 'em hell!

 

[sereneone4u]

Hii really love your audio erotics mp3 !your voice is soo sexy. yours scipys are so hooot, terrefic, amazing! Could you switch to sub for dominatrix? I love role play, stories and ambiance...latex skirt, leather suit,... the feeling that you control me body & soul to the edge of my orgasm...
I like equal humiliations / instructions I crave to hear an Elegant Evil Masturbatrix Dr who's capture a chronic jerkoff addicted. (long legs, mini skirt,high heels & sophisticated glasses) giving him strocking instructions with some nasty verbal degradations like that:

«You're so eager to fuck yourself, bitch. So ashamed about your habit. So consumed by this...tss,tss,tss....sick,sick, addiction. Lucky littte cumslut. Dr likes collect dirty compulsive puppet like you. Dr loves to enslave naughty jerkboy. Dr adores to corrupt the dick of a silly secret naughty strocktoy. And one of the favorit Dr's hobby consist to cum extraction. One of the favorit sport of Dr is the cockcaptured. It mean : draining the testicles of her obedient cow. It mean: milking the genitals of her piggy slave. Every night & every day. Dr got you all to herself , to used and abused you like her personal plaything. Her obedient fucktoy who like to fuck is hand again and again. But most of all, Dr knows that her vicious chronic masturbator crave to hold his orgasm as long as he can. Hum? Isn't whore? And Dr enjoys watching her private wankoolic in state of agony, minutes after minutes, waiting,desperately, strokes after strokes, to hearing the cum command of her Dr. Tss,tss,tss...Lucky bastard. Dr wants to see lots and lots and lots of precum around your penis before. Cauz this is the proof of your desire for her.»

Someone please edit and maybe I can read it and reply.

WTF???

 

[libbyboy]

WTF???

Her audios are yum

 

[sereneone4u]

Her audios are yum

I meant the PM

 

[libbyboy]

I meant the PM

PMs ought to be between close friends after which there is no confusion in the minds of the 2 parties else they are at best put offs

 

[goodgurlgetsbad]

what are blue boys ? or out of the blue ?

 

[libbyboy]

what are blue boys ? or out of the blue ?

Blue boys are those who get their wankers blue black and sore while trying to pleasure girls who drop out of the blue

 

[goodgurlgetsbad]

Blue boys are those who get their wankers blue black and sore while trying to pleasure girls who drop out of the blue

I think you are so joking

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Just got this a few weeks ago... my comments are in red.

What you need
is a good figging that would seem to be up your alley (so to speak)

No, thats not actually what I need. Dont assume to know my needs when this is the first time you've contacted me.

oh ya you do you need to be punished for that back talk alone missy!

No I dont. YOU contacted me first without finding out what I like and want. I DON'T need to be punished for anything.

you may not need to but you desperate;y want to

I'm sorry, are you challenged in some way, shape or form? I do NOT need your opinions on what I want or need. If you pulled something like this in the real world you would be a puddle in the gutter when my master finished with you.
This is your last warning. Fuck off or there will be consequences.

See, that's what I need, some man to just take over all my crappy PMs and emails for me, but then I wouldn't have the experience of being all Domme on their asses; it's the only time I can be. lol

It's my fault. I had to sound out that one word since it was difficult. Who....ooo....rrrreeeee....? I can't pronounce it.

Well, all the same, give 'em hell!

It's a very hard word, and when it runs together with the other ones behind it, it can sound like a cowboy trying to break in a wild stallion.

WTF???

I know. *shakes head* I'm sure both emails are from the same dumb ass. Which means I have 2 more to go from him - I have 4 audio submissions from several years ago, and plan on doing 3 more this year (minimum) so I could not only get 2 more, but 5 more! I'm so excited!!

Her audios are yum

Thanks.

what are blue boys ? or out of the blue ?

For me "blue" boys were two separate men with the name "blue" in their Lit. name. Not all folks with the name "blue" have harassed me, but when I see "blue" I start to cringe now. lol

 

[Cymru6969]

This is my first time reading through this thread. As they say, "You can't make this stuff up, folks." Astounding what some men believe women like. PM's, in my estimation, especially the primary volley, should begin with a compliment to its target ask a polite question or two then sign off with the hope of future correspondence.

How is this for a terrible opener:
"How would you like your belly button tickled....from the inside?"

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

This is my first time reading through this thread. As they say, "You can't make this stuff up, folks." Astounding what some men believe women like. PM's, in my estimation, especially the primary volley, should begin with a compliment to its target ask a polite question or two then sign off with the hope of future correspondence.

How is this for a terrible opener:
"How would you like your belly button tickled....from the inside?"

Yes, that's a bad one. lol

 

[Cymru6969]

Congrats on the Valentines contest, luv.
I'm going to read it now.