You sexual self and your online persona

[daughter]

Folks--

In your offline experiences, does your persona here mirror your sexual behavior? If you are dominant, vocal, gregarious here are you the same in your relationships?

In your other relationships(work, friends, etc) do you project the same mannerisms and attitudes that you exihibit here? Describe the differences and what accounts for them.

I would think we all have some variations. My speech alone varies from the workplace and when I'm among my friends.

Hopes this gets interesting.

Peace,

daughter

 

[KillerMuffin]

Actually, I'm not the dominant one in my relationship. As loud, proud, vocal, argumentative, aggressive, violent, and gregarious as I am here and in real life, the Stud is twice as much. My personality isn't all that in-your-face, I'm content to let my shine without forcing it on people. The Stud is not only very in-your-face, but he's got a total narcissitic alpha male syndrome going on. Like everyone else in the world, he has some issues to deal with. The bad thing about those issues is that they're combat related PTSD. If there is a question about that go to www.google.com and perv through the PTSD search results.

Anyway, as far as sexually? I'm not really understanding the question. I am a control freak, sexually speaking. I have got to be in control of myself at all times. I am also rather uninhibited and I am not afraid to be vocal about what I want or need. I'm also tenacious, persistent, aggressive, and rough. I bite, too.

I think my entire sexual philosphy is related to a question frequently asked. How do you know if a man is a bad lover? I don't think that there are very many men who are bad lovers. Bad lovers are bad people all the way around. He is just ignorant. As long as he is willing to pay attention to me, then he's going to be a great lover. The Stud does that. We're good together, except for the whole bi-thing. I like bi-men. He doesn't.

 

[bluntforcemama]

This is a great question: I could write an essay, double-spaced, etc... Hmm... I'm a lot warmer and caring in person (As DiggerTroll asked). Online, I tend to be colder and I push away people that get too close, mostly because of several incidents that have compromised my trust. Sexually, I'm pretty much the same, though I don't know that I've publicized my sexual tendencies to the point of everyone knowing exactly what I'm talking about.

 

[Black_Bird]

I'm more sexual online...

Then I am off... Unless I've had a few drink, in which case, I'm SCARY. Its also easier to get me to loosen up online then it is off - I tend to gaurd myself a great deal more IRL. My work doesn't help - plenty of politics and bullshit to go around. Its like I've got to watch what I say 24/7.

 

[Rick DeVille]

I much more sensitive and shy

 

[plasticman33]

Hmmmmmmmm....

I'm shyer in person than on-line, well, maybe shy is not the right word, reserved might be better. I think, deep down, I'm warm, sensitive and caring. My sexual appetites are strong, I enjoy women and will do whatever's necessary to please the one I'm with.

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

In real life i'm super shy.

I tend to jus sit there and do nothing.
Just listen and scared shitless to move...

cause if i move or say somthing..... somone may notice me.

 

[Cath!]

I am out in the real world...

pretty much as flirtatious as I am online. The one part of me that you don't see online is the caring, extremely sensitive, low self-esteem part...

In bed, tho...I am a damn fine lover, if I do say so myself!

 

[plasticman33]

Re: I am out in the real world...

pretty much as flirtatious as I am online. The one part of me that you don't see online is the caring, extremely sensitive, low self-esteem part...

In bed, tho...I am a damn fine lover, if I do say so myself!

*Edited at the request of the author*

MMMMMmmmmmppppppppphhhhhhhhhhhh!

 

[Sassy7]

In my off line experiences, I'm very shy and timid, and pretty much the same on line. I have been a little more outgoing since finding Lit. I think for someone my age, maybe even a little unexperienced. But I am learning more every day just by being here and reading these posts.

 

[daughter]

Re: I am out in the real world...

pretty much as flirtatious as I am online. The one part of me that you don't see online is the caring, extremely sensitive, low self-esteem part...

In bed, tho...I am a damn fine lover, if I do say so myself!

Please define a good lover. How is one great in bed but suffers low self-esteem? Are your lovers telling you how great you are or is this your perception based on how they respond to you?

Peace,

daughter

 

[Cath!]

Re: Re: I am out in the real world...

Please define a good lover. How is one great in bed but suffers low self-esteem? Are your lovers telling you how great you are or is this your perception based on how they respond to you?

Peace,

daughter

Low self-esteem is NOT a 24/7 problem...and there ARE places where I am totally comfortable with myself and whom I am with...

and it was kind of a joke, hon...

 

[lovetoread]

Thinking about this,I'd have to say that other than it taking me longer to get the sexy things out as I am quite shy in R/L,I am the same here as I am off. I flirt,tease and love to read. And if I really know you,the flirting can get very...umm...intense. Oops I should say that it has been intense as I dont believe I will be doing much more of it in r/l,and heck not much of it in my cyber life either. Except with a particular poster that is.

 

[daughter]

Only going on what's provided

Cath--

I simply wanted you to expound on what you said. I wanted to further the discussion. I tend to be serious. Apparently, I missed the joke.

Without knowing you, I found what you said interesting. If you were joking only, I guess this won't be going any further. Bummer.


Peace,

daughter

 

[daughter]

lovetoread

Why is it easier for you to flirt here? Is it just because of the anonymity of the net? I think there are more and different reasons for many of us. For instance, you said when you're comfortable with someone, you're less inhibited.

When you are in a relationship, are you expressive in your actions and speech or does your shyness mean you're more likely to respond rather than initiate with your partner?

Peace,

daughter

 

[plasticman33]

Daughter........

Why is it easier for you to flirt here? Is it just because of the anonymity of the net? I think there are more and different reasons for many of us. For instance, you said when you're comfortable with someone, you're less inhibited.

When you are in a relationship, are you expressive in your actions and speech or does your shyness mean you're more likely to respond rather than initiate with your partner?

Peace,

daughter

Just curious, are you doing research for your thesis?

 

[lovetoread]

Re: lovetoread

Why is it easier for you to flirt here? Is it just because of the anonymity of the net? I think there are more and different reasons for many of us. For instance, you said when you're comfortable with someone, you're less inhibited.

When you are in a relationship, are you expressive in your actions and speech or does your shyness mean you're more likely to respond rather than initiate with your partner?

Peace,

daughter

I do more responding in my current relationship as the person I am with is more...I want to say dominating than I am. But since we are in the first stages of our relationship, it may change as I become more comfortable with him. In my last relationship,my marriage, it was I that had to do it all. If I wanted any response at all I had to do the first moves.

As far as flirting here on the net,its easier. But I think,and I may be wrong,that people can tell if you are a true flirt and if you are faking it. Meaning that if you dont flirt in your real life,then your words wont come across as real. I am probably not making myself clear,but its what I think.

I have read on some posts where the flirting is there,but its like reading a really bad romance novel. I truly love to flirt and I love to be flirted with. Its a part of me,and I hope that it comes through to the ones that I have become friends with on here.

 

[Mellon Collie]

I'm going to have to say I'm the same in both situations. I'm submissive, shy, passive but very goofy and sometimes I actually get mad. And my mood tends to change at the drop of the hat (I get to blame the cosmos though, I'm a cancer). I don't flirt much unless I'm joking around and if I were to it would be very subtle, it probably would not be even noticed. And yep all of this is truth for both online and off.

Daughter, your av is gorgeous. Do you know who she is?

 

[MacCortz]

Re: lovetoread

Why is it easier for you to flirt here? Is it just because of the anonymity of the net?

Peace,

daughter

Daughter,

Yes it is very much the anonymity of the net!! A woman on the net can flirt mildly and get 20 or maybe 100 responses in almost no time. How flatering to have that great attention, I believe it is addictive. To be bold in stricking the key board has little penality and the rewards of getting a lot of attention has to be great for ones ego. I believe there is potential for great damage to many a womans psyche. I believe there is great danger to certain types of people and there is no warning.

 

[perks]

exactly the same...unless you talk to my parents

I am what you see, what you hear, what you read.

The people that I've met from online always say "Oh my god....you're Exaaaaactly like you are online!!"

now if you're talking to my parents.....it's a whole other story.
<I'm a preacher's kid....lol>


perky

 

[Elizabeth]

I love the flirting online, and I like it in person, I just think I do less of it then. I am more reserved, a little more cautious in RL.

 

[Gingersnap]

Being the shy and reserved type ( shut up Racheal) I am no different online then I am off.

 

[Rachel Picabia]

It's true. Miss Snapster's the shyest most reserved badgirl on the whole of that fluffy clowd of hers. As for me... I'm just wicked to da bone.

rach
xox

 

[Gingersnap]

And that my dear Racheal is a truely impressive love bone ya got there.

 

[clements_christian]

persona

I am brand new to this (as you can see by my posts) and find it a bit intimidating although I hesitate to say why exactly.
In the physical interaction world, "real" doesn't seem like the right word because all of you people are real although it seems that projecting an alter ego is quite common, I am much more outgoing and much more confident. I'm 30 and attractive, compared to Charlie Sheen alot and know I can be charming. Women enjoy my company and I love the thrill that comes with a knowing glance, a raised eyebrow or a brushed thigh. Maybe that helps to have a "headstart" if you will and here the playing field is completely level to start with. Only words. I imagine it's just the fact that this is a strange environment that I will grow accustomed to in time.