You can now call me the bionic single Dom

[Richard49]

lady_kat is having an exceptionaly difficult time with pain and exhaustion
please keep her in your prayers


For those newer her she has cancer

 

[alice_underneath]

lady_kat is having an exceptionaly difficult time with pain and exhaustion
please keep her in your prayers


For those newer her she has cancer

Hello, Richard.

I don't believe in god, so praying isn't really my thing.

The way I see it, if a sentient Divine Being does exist, S/He is a sadist to put all those here to shame. It's a terrifying thought, so I prefer a lack of belief to the alternative.

All I can offer, therefore, are hugs - to you, and lady_kat, and all those who care for her.

I am truly sorry for her pain.

Alice

 

[Richard49]

Hello, Richard.

I don't believe in god, so praying isn't really my thing.

The way I see it, if a sentient Divine Being does exist, S/He is a sadist to put all those here to shame. It's a terrifying thought, so I prefer a lack of belief to the alternative.

All I can offer, therefore, are hugs - to you, and lady_kat, and all those who care for her.

I am truly sorry for her pain.

Alice

lady_kat and I are cyber freinds
we have never meet
however I held her hand in her search for God
and her finally submissism to him

She always accepts hugs

 

[Richard49]

Hello Richard.

Yep I have done both. As a kid I read the series many many times. The only series I ever read more than them was Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit.

C.S Lewis and Tolkein are among some of my favorite authors.

I thought they did a great job of the movie. The ending came rather abrubtly, they could transistioned into a bit better, but all in all I thought it was a fair representation of the written counter part.

I would certainly recommend see it.

Sends warm "well" wishes for Kat, Bandit/Bandit's Master and of course you.

I was an adult when I found the Narnia seris.
I was working at a state prison and voluntared fro the worse shit
So I could be alone and read them

I was given a new set for xmas and have begon reading them again

I am not sure I will venture into the theater to see the movie

 

[alice_underneath]

She always accepts hugs

In that case, please offer her mine.

Alice

 

[Bandit58]

lady_kat is having an exceptionaly difficult time with pain and exhaustion
please keep her in your prayers


For those newer her she has cancer

I am not religious so do not pray as such, but I'm sending her positive thoughts and well wishes Also thinking of her family too (if she has one), as it is very hard to see the one you love in pain and feel helpless to do anything.

*Edited to add some gentle hugs too*

 

[Richard49]

I just got off phone with lady_kat
She is in a lot of pain
Not schudled to see Dr till Wednesday
she thinks she might just go tomorrow (Monday)

I released the submissive I was mentoring
I wish her the best of luck
but she has convinced me that I do not desire
to have a slave or submissive in my life again
which means NO relationship with a woman
(in an intimate sence) period

I do not trust there honesty
nor my ability to read people

 

[lady-kat]

waiving hello ;-)

Hi all *hugs*

thank you so much for all the prayers, hugs, and well wishes sent my way

I haven't peeked into Richard's livingroom in a bit, and have missed you all.

I'm doing a bit better (new meds ;-) and also will be going in for another treatment, hopefully within the next week or so.
Chirstmas was lovely (with exception of my discomfort. *growl*)
but I had family here, and his sister was visiting with us.
so a win-win in my book.

take care all *gentle hugs back to you*

 

[alice_underneath]

I released the submissive I was mentoring
I wish her the best of luck
but she has convinced me that I do not desire
to have a slave or submissive in my life again
which means NO relationship with a woman
(in an intimate sence) period

I do not trust there honesty
nor my ability to read people

Hello, Richard.

Since I am a woman, and you have made a blanket assertion here, you basically just called me a disingenuous jerk.

I do not take offense at your comments, however, because I have had many, many days when I swore that men are all disingenuous jerks too.

In fact..... hang on..... I'm trying to remember a day when I didn't feel that way....



I'm only kidding. sort-of!

Actually, I have good reason and plenty of tangible evidence for the conclusion that many human beings are, in fact, disingenuous jerks, and every single one of us has at least acted like one at one time or another.

I can see that you have been hurt here, Richard, and I extend to you my sympathy. I am not exactly sure what a sub's mentor does, but I am guessing that you put a lot of energy, effort, and time into the task. If she has betrayed you with dishonesty, that must be painful indeed.



Alice

 

[Richard49]

I posted a few back about "love lives" most be mostly fantasy
when it dealt with prisoners ... I was also thinking same for cyber...
I was very pleased to RJs little ditty in his sig about all of his advice
(or something like that) is totally based on online experence ...

I had swore I would never get involved with any period but especially those that had no real time experence ... welp I broke both of my promises to myself and got more than just a little burn ... as I said I wish her the best ... and for me ... no intimate relationships with women period ...

One can be dishonest when one lives with the fantasy's of there mind rather than the reality of what is

 

[alice_underneath]

I posted a few back about "love lives" most be mostly fantasy
when it dealt with prisoners ... I was also thinking same for cyber...
I was very pleased to RJs little ditty in his sig about all of his advice
(or something like that) is totally based on online experence ...

I had swore I would never get involved with any period but especially those that had no real time experence ... welp I broke both of my promises to myself and got more than just a little burn ... as I said I wish her the best ... and for me ... no intimate relationships with women period ...

One can be dishonest when one lives with the fantasy's of there mind rather than the reality of what is

Out of respect for your current pain, Richard, I will not argue the points of your post, except to say one thing.

My personal opinion of RJ's "little ditty" is that it is excessively self-deprecating. "Online Experience Only" may be a fair sig line for a 14-year-old virgin, but not a grown man.

If you take a look at my sig line, you'll see that I write: "no BDSM experience". I have never been spanked or tied up or so much as called any guy "sir", either online or off.

But I am a 45-year-old woman with many life experiences. I recognize pain when I see it, and I "read" pain in you right now.

I offer my genuine sympathy and hope that your pain eases soon. Take or discard it, Richard. Online or off, this is me - a real person - offering human compassion to you.

Alice

 

[Richard49]

All of my posts come from the perspective of someone with no BDSM experience whatsoever. Please filter my comments accordingly.


I am glad you pointed it out to me
It does help me to better understand where forth you come from

I believe that RJ does us,as do you with your ditty, a great service
From personal experence I can say that online and is not real time
in experence or understanding ...

I am not in pain over what has happened
other than the pain my foot has created in kicking my ass

It has been a struggle
I have had to remind myself over and over that
1) I do not need to get in the last word
2) I do not have to continue conversation that are going no where or are destructive or feed into someone elses fantasy of reality

 

[Richard49]

I offer my genuine sympathy and hope that your pain eases soon. Take or discard it, Richard. Online or off, this is me - a real person - offering human compassion to you.

Alice

alice
I thank you for your compassion
I mostly just tired
very tired

That has to do more with sleep and my ptsd

 

[Richard49]

you do not have to

you do not have to have experenced
flogging
paddling
spanking
hair pulling etc
to be a Dom(me) or a submissive or a slave
but you do to be a bottom or top

One of the things that have gotten me beaten up here
is the pointing out of the importance of words and that words
do have agreeded upon meanings

 

[alice_underneath]

alice
I thank you for your compassion

You are quite welcome. Thank you for accepting it.

I mostly just tired
very tired

That has to do more with sleep and my ptsd

I do not recognize the acronym "ptsd", but I hope you find the rest you need soon.

Alice

 

[Richard49]

You are quite welcome. Thank you for accepting it.

I do not recognize the acronym "ptsd", but I hope you find the rest you need soon.

Alice

PTSD is post tarmanic(sp) stress disorder
I got mine from my tour in VN

 

[Bandit58]

you do not have to have experenced
flogging
paddling
spanking
hair pulling etc
to be a Dom(me) or a submissive or a slave
but you do to be a bottom or top

One of the things that have gotten me beaten up here
is the pointing out of the importance of words and that words
do have agreeded upon meanings

I am a submissive, always have been even when I knew nothing about BDSM. I married someone who took advantage of that and I ended up being emotionally abused for over 20 years. When I met Master I realised that what I am is something special to the right person I had no "kink" experience whatsoever but the desire to serve and submit.......oh yes.

 

[alice_underneath]

PTSD is post tarmanic(sp) stress disorder
I got mine from my tour in VN

I googled this, and I think the word you are looking for is "traumatic".

http://www.ncptsd.va.gov/

Thank you very much for your service to our country.

Alice

 

[Richard49]

I googled this, and I think the word you are looking for is "traumatic".

http://www.ncptsd.va.gov/

Thank you very much for your service to our country.

Alice

ya that's the word
so I don't spell or type so good?
oh well

I apreacaite your thanks
and I get a little miffed when I am called a baby killer
(if you go backa while you will find my story of how I was called a baby killer and abusived by Bush's staff with minutes of each other)

but I also label myself stupid for voluntaring (sp)

 

[RJMasters]

Hi all *hugs*

thank you so much for all the prayers, hugs, and well wishes sent my way

I haven't peeked into Richard's livingroom in a bit, and have missed you all.

I'm doing a bit better (new meds ;-) and also will be going in for another treatment, hopefully within the next week or so.
Chirstmas was lovely (with exception of my discomfort. *growl*)
but I had family here, and his sister was visiting with us.
so a win-win in my book.

take care all *gentle hugs back to you*

Good to see you Kat.

Hope the coming treatment does good for you.

I am glad that your holiday season went well considering.

 

[RJMasters]

Good morning Richard.

I remember when I was station in Okinawa, Japan, I went through Non-Commisioned Officer School there. It was like mini boot camp all over again. During the time I attented the school we learned about the different kinds of personalities people have and this was put into the context of course of leading and following.

I had learned that there were many types of leadership styles. The extremes being a democratic type leader on one hand and a dictator type of leader on the other. The goal of the course was not to decide which was better, but rather to get us to see that regardless of the type of leader one is, a leader gets the job done. One might just tell people what to do, another might lead people towards a general consenus, but in either case, in the end they get the job done.

I got to thinking about this and realized that there are also different types of followers. The extremes being, those who willingly give of themselves and those who have to be told or even made to do something.

Its been my experience online that the latter of the two truly have a hard time coping with the limits of the online medium and often fail at online relationships because what works for them in real life tends to fall flat online.

For the follower which desires and requires incentive to ensure obedience, online can be very dificult for them in that there is no real threat. It is known, no corrective touches will be forth coming from the screen. This can lead to boldness, carelessness and all manners of bad learned behaviors to include manipulation, deception, and having a non-caring attitude. These things would never be toleratored or gotten away with in real life as they would be seen and addressed, however the limits of online allow these things often go unchecked. This leads to both the submissive and dominant being unsatisfied and disenchanted by the whole thing.

Equally true, the dominant which believes their own press, can often become very unrealistic in their demands or expectations. Often there is a mental slip because being in la-la-land of the internet, it can dull the senses over time into crossing fantasy with reality. Things you would not normally expect or do in real life will come forth because there is unreal factor attached to it. This is the dominant using the limitations of the Internet to excuse not respecting their submissive, or being unrealistic with their demands. This will often lead to the submissive lying because they do not wish to disappoint, but they are unable to fullfil the demands which are unrealistic.

The submissive that requires the physical touch to both avoid certain behaviors and be rewarded for other types of behaviors, depend on that touch or threat of correction to toe the line. It gives them a safety net for their obedience knowing that if they test or balk, they will face the punishment. They can thrive in this environment. It is not to say they require threat for everything or for even most things, that would be crazy, rather this sets tangible boundaries which work inconjunction with their desire to please and serve. In one sense these boundaries are limiting, but in another way it is these boundaries which provide the kind of freedom they desire to express their submission from with confidence.

Whenever a dominant and submissive decide to have a relationship online, they need to be realistic in not only accepting each others limits, but also accpet the limits of the meduim. The limits of being online will be both different and the same for everyone depending on what type of leader or follower personality traits they may have.

Any submission online must come 100% from feelings of trust and respect and a desire to serve and please the one they hold the trust and respect for. Any dominant that refuses to acknowledge this, will find very quickly that this meduim is very limiting indeed. I am sure that also translates well into real life.

The biggest area that I have seen or experienced is where romantic feelings(infatuation) are misconstued for trust and respect on both sides. Or mistakenly the levels of trust and respect are given too freely because of powerful emotions. The real question is...What has this dominant done specifically to the submissive in order to earn thier trust and respect? Additionally it could be asked, why in the world would this person want to submit to me when I hardly know them or they me? Trust and respect should not be governed by the heart, but more from a practial point of view which is governed by thought and intellect that bases such trust and respect upon consistency of behavior and display of character. This requires patience and time online and there are no short-cuts. Submission which comes from romantic ideals but have no solid foundation build on respect and trust is a train wreck bound to happen. The same could be said for dominance.

In the beginning there will always be feelings of attraction. However as time goes on and time is spent together, when asked why would you consider this person worthy of your submission....The submissive should be able to give solid and confident answers based on the expereinces they have shared over time with that dominant. Equally true if a dominant is asked, why is this person's submission worthy of your acceptance? Again, the dominant should be able to give solid and confident answers based on the expereinces they have shared over time with that person. All too often when any interest is expressed, people are too eager to jump at it, for various reasons.

It takes time not only for the building of trust and respect, but also to learn how compatible two people might be.


Regardless, I am sorry for the negative expereiences you have had. I hate to see you close up shop, but can understand your disenchantment.

By way of encouragement, I know that to become successful at business or anything, you need to have a solid foundation and knowledge. In regards to RL, you may have alot of experience, but you find that alot of this does not translate well into online, IDK. Maybe the negative experiences have placed you in spot where you are just no longer interested. I think it is clearly establish and agreed upon that there is a difference between RL and online, however taking the time to understand those differences and how they may impact the expression of dominance and submission, may be the only thing that is standing in your way of a successful online relationship that could lead to something more.

Apologies for the long post, but you have been on my mind over the past few days. I hope you might glean something from what I wrote to your advantange, if not at least you know I was thinking of you for taking the time to express my thoughts and feelings. We have never really discuss this topic much, so if I have made any false assumptions, please forgive me. I look forward to any comments you might have.

 

[alice_underneath]

RJ -

That was an excellent and very thought-provoking post.

Many of your points pair nicely with the article on Submissive Frenzy (which I highly recommend) posted by Miss Diva here:

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=399956

I remember when I was station in Okinawa, Japan, I went through Non-Commisioned Officer School

Thank you for your service to our country, too.

Alice

 

[catalina_francisco]

Good morning Richard.

I remember when I was station in Okinawa, Japan, I went through Non-Commisioned Officer School there. It was like mini boot camp all over again. During the time I attented the school we learned about the different kinds of personalities people have and this was put into the context of course of leading and following.

I had learned that there were many types of leadership styles. The extremes being a democratic type leader on one hand and a dictator type of leader on the other. The goal of the course was not to decide which was better, but rather to get us to see that regardless of the type of leader one is, a leader gets the job done. One might just tell people what to do, another might lead people towards a general consenus, but in either case, in the end they get the job done.

I got to thinking about this and realized that there are also different types of followers. The extremes being, those who willingly give of themselves and those who have to be told or even made to do something.

Its been my experience online that the latter of the two truly have a hard time coping with the limits of the online medium and often fail at online relationships because what works for them in real life tends to fall flat online.

For the follower which desires and requires incentive to ensure obedience, online can be very dificult for them in that there is no real threat. It is known, no corrective touches will be forth coming from the screen. This can lead to boldness, carelessness and all manners of bad learned behaviors to include manipulation, deception, and having a non-caring attitude. These things would never be toleratored or gotten away with in real life as they would be seen and addressed, however the limits of online allow these things often go unchecked. This leads to both the submissive and dominant being unsatisfied and disenchanted by the whole thing.

Equally true, the dominant which believes their own press, can often become very unrealistic in their demands or expectations. Often there is a mental slip because being in la-la-land of the internet, it can dull the senses over time into crossing fantasy with reality. Things you would not normally expect or do in real life will come forth because there is unreal factor attached to it. This is the dominant using the limitations of the Internet to excuse not respecting their submissive, or being unrealistic with their demands. This will often lead to the submissive lying because they do not wish to disappoint, but they are unable to fullfil the demands which are unrealistic.

The submissive that requires the physical touch to both avoid certain behaviors and be rewarded for other types of behaviors, depend on that touch or threat of correction to toe the line. It gives them a safety net for their obedience knowing that if they test or balk, they will face the punishment. They can thrive in this environment. It is not to say they require threat for everything or for even most things, that would be crazy, rather this sets tangible boundaries which work inconjunction with their desire to please and serve. In one sense these boundaries are limiting, but in another way it is these boundaries which provide the kind of freedom they desire to express their submission from with confidence.

Whenever a dominant and submissive decide to have a relationship online, they need to be realistic in not only accepting each others limits, but also accpet the limits of the meduim. The limits of being online will be both different and the same for everyone depending on what type of leader or follower personality traits they may have.

Any submission online must come 100% from feelings of trust and respect and a desire to serve and please the one they hold the trust and respect for. Any dominant that refuses to acknowledge this, will find very quickly that this meduim is very limiting indeed. I am sure that also translates well into real life.

The biggest area that I have seen or experienced is where romantic feelings(infatuation) are misconstued for trust and respect on both sides. Or mistakenly the levels of trust and respect are given too freely because of powerful emotions. The real question is...What has this dominant done specifically to the submissive in order to earn thier trust and respect? Additionally it could be asked, why in the world would this person want to submit to me when I hardly know them or they me? Trust and respect should not be governed by the heart, but more from a practial point of view which is governed by thought and intellect that bases such trust and respect upon consistency of behavior and display of character. This requires patience and time online and there are no short-cuts. Submission which comes from romantic ideals but have no solid foundation build on respect and trust is a train wreck bound to happen. The same could be said for dominance.

In the beginning there will always be feelings of attraction. However as time goes on and time is spent together, when asked why would you consider this person worthy of your submission....The submissive should be able to give solid and confident answers based on the expereinces they have shared over time with that dominant. Equally true if a dominant is asked, why is this person's submission worthy of your acceptance? Again, the dominant should be able to give solid and confident answers based on the expereinces they have shared over time with that person. All too often when any interest is expressed, people are too eager to jump at it, for various reasons.

It takes time not only for the building of trust and respect, but also to learn how compatible two people might be.


Regardless, I am sorry for the negative expereiences you have had. I hate to see you close up shop, but can understand your disenchantment.

By way of encouragement, I know that to become successful at business or anything, you need to have a solid foundation and knowledge. In regards to RL, you may have alot of experience, but you find that alot of this does not translate well into online, IDK. Maybe the negative experiences have placed you in spot where you are just no longer interested. I think it is clearly establish and agreed upon that there is a difference between RL and online, however taking the time to understand those differences and how they may impact the expression of dominance and submission, may be the only thing that is standing in your way of a successful online relationship that could lead to something more.

Apologies for the long post, but you have been on my mind over the past few days. I hope you might glean something from what I wrote to your advantange, if not at least you know I was thinking of you for taking the time to express my thoughts and feelings. We have never really discuss this topic much, so if I have made any false assumptions, please forgive me. I look forward to any comments you might have.

Interesting slant on a forever occurring topic....can't say I agree as I know many RL submissives who have the same qualities you deem as the necessary ones for a successful online submissive, but who are not satisfied to remain or be exclusively online. Their reasons, mine included, are not a sign they need to be forced or punished to be able to be submissive and obedient, but because they prefer all that goes with RL that is missing with online. Call it greedy, but for me at least, why should I settle for half the cake when I am able to have it all? Some other areas of your post I do agree with though and think it does shed light on how easily some can be lured into believing something is other than what it actually is.

Catalina

 

[RJMasters]

RJ -

That was an excellent and very thought-provoking post.

Many of your points pair nicely with the article on Submissive Frenzy (which I highly recommend) posted by Miss Diva here:

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=399956

Thank you for your service to our country, too.

Alice

Thank you Alice

I too enjoyed Miss Diva's post. I thought it was insightful.

 

[Richard49]

Interesting slant on a forever occurring topic....can't say I agree as I know many RL submissives who have the same qualities you deem as the necessary ones for a successful online submissive, but who are not satisfied to remain or be exclusively online. Their reasons, mine included, are not a sign they need to be forced or punished to be able to be submissive and obedient, but because they prefer all that goes with RL that is missing with online. Call it greedy, but for me at least, why should I settle for half the cake when I am able to have it all? Some other areas of your post I do agree with though and think it does shed light on how easily some can be lured into believing something is other than what it actually is.

Catalina

after reading your post
I went back and reread RJs 4 times
cause I did not
and still do not see
the point you are making in reflection to what he posted